Eyes Open: Finding Home, #2

By Rachel Caid

Christine Johnson is enjoying the fruits of her matchmaking labor and seeing her sister happy after years of being alone. now it's Christine's turn, and she's ready to meet someone new, even if her heart still belongs to someone else. But he pushed too hard and forced her to choose between staying blind to the pain of her past and opening her eyes to the truth.

 

Craig Sanders knows Christine is hiding something from everyone he also knows being just her friend is slowly killing him he misses her touch her passion and the closeness they shared. He can't be with her while she keeps secrets from him and pretends everything is great. Trust and honesty are necessary for him to be all in 

 

No one could predict the violent way the truth would come out. Christine tries to hide her shame and pain behind anger and distance but Craig sees through her he's determined to win her trust and her heart before it's too late.

 

Eyes Open is an interconnected standalone novel within the Finding Home Series. Due to explicit sex scenes and sensitive subject matter, this book is intended for adults 18+

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rachel Caid
• Release date: Mar 1, 2016
• ISBN: 9781523364046

Rachel Caid

Hi! I'm Rachel, and I am a lover of all books romance! While my books are contemporary romances, my favorite genres are paranormal romance and suspense romance. Maybe one day I will have the courage to try those :) I am a mother to two amazing boys, wife to my best friend, and herder of two dogs and three kitties. We live in rural Missouri and absolutely love being outdoors, tending to the acreage we built our home on. I am also a complete coffee-addict, with no plans for rehab or any sort. So give me a good book, a pot of coffee and call me a happy girl

Book preview

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

About the Author

Finding Home Series

Sneak Peek

Dedication

To T ~ My rock. Thank you.

Prologue

Craig

I’ve been tossed into the friend-zone.

We’re going to be friends.

I want more than that, and I know she does too, but what good is it?

I’ve dealt with enough half-truths and lies to last a lifetime. I need complete honesty. No secrets. I know Christine has, at least, one of those.

She says the past is the past and I need to leave it there, but what if it comes back to bite us in the ass? I’ve been with girls who have kept shit from me, and I won’t do that again.

What do I have to do to prove I can be trusted? At this point, I would do anything.

I’m certain of one thing right now – we are not fucking staying friends.

Chapter One

Christine

Why I ever asked Travis to meet me at Fritz’s on a Friday night, I will never understand. Thank goodness, it’s crowded tonight. The number of people we each know who are stopping to say hello every few minutes saves us from the awkward, stilted conversation that’s bound to happen.

I’m not sure why I thought this would work – tonight or any night, really. We’ve known each other for years, having grown up in the same small town, but there’s never been a spark. Travis is a nice guy, and he is good looking, but he isn’t the one I want. I can’t have the one I want; he wants more from me than I can give.

I went all-out getting ready for tonight to prove I was ready to move forward. My long chestnut hair hangs in soft waves past my waist, framing my thin body well. I paired my flowy purple and turquoise tank with dark wash skinny jeans which hug what few curves I have. They help to boost my dwindling confidence.  The smoky makeup I insisted on wearing makes my ice blue eyes pop, and my signature pink gloss shows off my plush lips without making me look cheap.

Travis ends his conversation with a co-worker and brings his focus back to our table. His warm smile should make my heart skip a beat. His dark hair hangs in front of his chocolate eyes, giving him that sexy, mysterious vibe that causes so many girls to swoon. But I know he is safe, dependable, and because we grew up together, he believes he knows me well enough just to embrace looking forward. I should see a future with a man like him, but instead, thoughts of someone else consume me.

Activity hums around us; everyone seems to be having fun blowing off steam after the workweek. The weekend crowd is great for one of my favorite things to do at Fritz’s – people watching. I love to hang out and observe the different ways people flirt; it’s always entertaining. I especially enjoy watching girls make guys work for it. The cat-and-mouse game is more than fun. Well, to watch that is. I sure as hell don’t like participating.

Games can distract you from who the person really is. You get so caught up in outdoing, and out-maneuvering, that you may miss something important. You may get lulled into a false sense of security, believing you know a person, and then BAM, you’re sucker punched.

I return Travis’s smile, but it falters when something off to the left catches my eye. I do a double take, hoping my eyes are playing a trick on me, but the second glance is further proof my night is going to shit. My heart stops and the blood drains from my face, pooling in my feet. Sheer disbelief floods through me as I stare across the floor.

Craig.

There is no hope for me not to notice when this man is near me. At least, this time, I haven’t started sweating … yet. What’s worse; Craig is here with Pete. My brother is such a traitor. I’m sure I mentioned my plans to him, so why in the hell didn’t he warn me? I’m doubly sure that he overheard me telling our sister that I was hoping this would help ease the sense of loss I’ve been dealing with since the big blow-up.

I’m going to kill my older brother for this. My eyes are glued to Craig, and I can no longer hear the crowd or see anything but his profile. I know every curve of his face. Part of me longs to trail my finger along his strong jawline. Another part of me wants to punch him there.

I need to stop staring, but I can’t tear my eyes away from him. His dark hair is messy and it looks to be wet, as if he came here straight from the shower. Oh, just the thought of him naked and dripping wet has my core clenching and my cheeks flushing.

So, that’s him, huh?

The words break the spell I’m under and I turn in surprise, only to see Travis’s saddened smile. I realize that my reaction was not exactly stealthy. In fact, I’m pretty sure I looked like I was witnessing a train wreck. I sure as hell feel like I did. I never intended to hurt Travis, but by the tone of his voice, I just might have.

Who’s him? I ask, feigning innocence. I know the answer to his question, and I know full well he is not stupid enough to believe I don’t. Yet I don’t want to admit it. Admitting who I’m gawking at, confirming that I asked another man—a good man—out on a date when my brain is wired on another isn’t something I’m ready to do.

The idea of letting people know I still have feelings for a man who told me I was a liar is beyond my ability right now. If I ignore these feelings they will go away; I mean it’s worked before, right? It’s how I’ve coped for years. If it ain’t broke …

Travis shakes his head and laughs a humorless laugh. He held my gaze before turning his attention to the table occupied by the men I want to throw my beer bottle at. How dare they ruin this night for me? This was supposed to be my stepping-stone, my first attempt at moving on from a doomed relationship. Notice I didn’t say honest attempt. Because let’s face it, I’m having a hard time moving on. A large part of me wants to reverse time and stop myself from getting into that stupid argument.

The guy with Pete, Chris. The guy you were just staring at. I’d heard the two of you were dating, but I figured it was over. I was hoping this wasn’t a rebound thing, but oh well. Travis looks over at Craig’s table once again before continuing. That guy looks like he’s about ready to explode.

My back straightens sharply at Travis’s declaration, but I force myself not to look over again. I won’t let them catch me paying them any attention. I’m here with Travis, and though it looks like it won’t lead to a second date, I refuse to disrespect him by caving to temptation.  Instead, I hold Travis’s gaze and offer him a small smile. Placing my hand over his, I say the only thing left to say – the truth.

I am so sorry, Trav. I thought I was ready. If it means anything, I want to be. I try to squeeze his hand, but it’s so much bigger than mine is and my fingers aren’t quite able to wrap around it. You’re a great guy. I shouldn’t have brought you into this. It’s the truth; asking Travis out was selfish and thoughtless. Deep down, I knew this date was just a cover and I’m ashamed of my lack of sensitivity. No one deserves to be treated like they are a replacement, a second choice.

I watch Travis’s eyes flick back toward Craig. Slowly, the look on his face turns ornery.  Well, Travis drawls, if I’m going to lose, I might as well make the most of it. If he’s gonna stare at us all night, we should put on a show. Right?

While I’m not entirely sure he’s suggesting what I think he’s suggesting, he is clearly up to something that will either get Craig to leave or start a fight. Is it wrong to wish for the latter? Yes, yes, it is. But that isn’t stopping me from hoping something good comes out of tonight.

The immediate shift in Travis’s attitude makes me wish I was into him. He’s kind, funny, and gorgeous, and I can say without a doubt that if I weren’t hung up on Craig, I would be stupid not to pursue a relationship with him. The girl who ends up with this man is certainly a lucky one.

I don’t know what’s running through Travis’s mind right now and that worries me a little. I don’t do well with surprises; being a planner is what makes me such a good accountant. I have this control issue that sends me into a slight panic when I don’t know what to expect.

Without warning, Travis flips his hand and intertwines his fingers with my own. I take a moment to catch on, but once I do, I offer him a smile of gratitude. He won’t get the girl, but he’s going to make the other guy sweat.

If he isn’t smart enough to catch you, Christine, I’ll be around. I’m not the person to help you get over him; only you can do that. I won’t be a fill-in. If the chance comes, I want a real shot with you. Since you aren’t able to do that right now, let’s show him what happens if he makes the wrong choice.

I don’t know how well this will turn out – it could end up proving that Craig doesn’t want me the same way I want him – but I nod my approval. It isn’t fair to Travis, I know, but if I ever want to date someone and find my happily ever after, I need closure with Craig. My thoughts are interrupted when I feel something warm on my thigh. Travis has moved closer and is running his hand up and down the top of my leg, careful not to go too high.

He leans over, leaving barely a breath between our mouths, and the corner of his lips in a smirk. If I get my ass kicked tonight, you owe me big. As I start to answer, a shadow appears on the table from behind me, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and gooseflesh breaks out on my arms.

How’s it goin’ over here? Craig’s baritone rumbles through me, causing my entire body to shiver. The sound of his voice puts me on edge and not in a bad way. The first time he whispered into my ear, my body went limp with desire. If I’m honest, I think I’ll always react to him being close like that. The memory of his breath on my jaw is too much, and I squeeze my eyes shut for a second to regain my composure.

Craig’s words are friendly enough, but the void of emotion in his voice makes his gesture fall flat. When I turn to answer him, his expression is almost scary. The muscle in his jaw ticks in what I can only hope is jealousy. It’s amazing how unfair I can be, isn’t it?

The heat from his body is scorching my skin, but I refuse to show how much his presence affects me. Being close enough to touch him has my body thrumming with excitement. A single stroke of his cheek or caress of his arm would never be enough. I’m not sure I could stop myself if I got started. The fear of his rejection and the inappropriateness of succumbing to my whim in front of Travis keep me from reaching for him.

His eyes bore into mine, holding me captive. The desire to lose myself in those deep blue pools overwhelms me. I just sit here, staring, in shock for a moment until a slight pressure to my fingers from Travis knocks me out of my stupor. I break eye contact and smile at my date, a silent thank you for being so understanding. When I swivel back toward Craig, I can see regret and anger warring in his eyes.

Craig, this is Travis, my date. Travis, I answer while turning to face my guest, this is Craig. He’s a friend of my brother’s. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Craig flinch at the description, but he recovers quickly. Looking back and forth between Travis and me, Craig takes a moment before speaking.

I thought we were friends, too, Christine. Unable to control my reaction, the sting of Craig’s words causes me to flinch.

He’s right. We’re supposed to be friends, but I’m not in a friendly mood. I’m still licking my wounds from his rejection. Months ago, we had agreed to stop pursuing anything more than friendship when Craig kept beating his head against my carefully built wall. The arguing had escalated quickly; after only knowing each other a few weeks, we started to spend most of our time together fighting. I had hoped for the fairy-tale beginning to a beautiful romantic movie. Instead, our story seemed more likely to end up on some seedy afternoon talk show.

Well, Christine, I saw you and thought I should say hello. Obviously, you’re busy, so I’ll leave you to your date. He spits the last word out as if it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Well, good. His ridiculous demand is the reason we can’t be together, so I hope it does bother him to see me out with another man. He had no right to accuse me of lying just because I didn’t hand over a detailed handbook of my life. My instinct tells me I can trust him, and I did. At first. But he ruined it and something like that takes time to rebuild. I wasn’t going to explain my painful history to someone I didn’t trust explicitly, if I revealed it at all. I’ve made the mistake of putting faith in the wrong people before, and I won’t do that again.

Craig lifts his chin to Travis and then spins around, returning to Pete, who was watching the entire exchange. Pete shakes his head at me as if he’s frustrated. At me? Like I did something wrong? Anger bubbles up in my chest and I ball my hands into fists. Well, I try to make fists, but it’s only then I realize I’m still clutching Travis’s hand. While it’s warm and comforting, this hand is not the one I long to hold.

I can’t help it as my gaze follows Craig’s retreat, nor can I stop the sense of loss as he walks away, again. It seems to be the theme of our relationship.

C’mon, Chris, let’s get out of here. Sympathy laces Travis’s words as his eyes shift back and forth between me and the other two men in my life. You need some space, and I really don’t want to get into a fight tonight.

He tries to laugh off the awkward situation, but it’s no use. Our evening may not have ever had a chance to be amazing, but now, it’s a total loss. Just one more tick on the con side of putting myself back out there. I don’t see a point in doing this again, with anyone.

Travis drops some cash on the table and pulls me up. He continues to grip my hand in one of his and the other rests protectively on the small of my back. Guiding me out to the parking lot, he only releases his grasp on me to open the door to his car.

After I sink down into the seat, I closed my eyes against the emotions running through me – anger, hurt, embarrassment. I’m angry with myself for being so blind to my own emotions and angry with Craig for stirring them. While he is willing to make his presence known, he isn’t willing to set aside his preconceived notions about me and that hurts. It’s embarrassing to have our issues displayed for the world (okay, the town) to see. I don’t need everyone knowing I ruined my chance with the newest eligible bachelor.

It’s only when I hear the driver’s door shut that I open my eyes and face him. As our eyes connect, a single tear slides down my cheek, which is the nail in the humiliation coffin. But Travis, being the amazing man he is, cups my face in his rough, strong hands, and as he brushes the wetness from one check, his soft lips place a chaste kiss on the other.

It’s okay, Chris. I get it. I can’t say I like the situation very much, but I know you weren’t out to lead me on. You’ve never been that kind of girl.

He pulls away and looks at me. I have let yet another person down, one who doesn’t deserve my poor treatment at all. I don’t know why it surprises me. All I ever seem to do is disappoint people whether they know it or not.  My throat is so tight that words will not come out, so I just nod and sit back in my seat.

As Travis starts to drive, I feel my anxiety building. What if he isn’t as understanding as he seems to be? What if he’s angry with me? I’ve known Travis for a long time, but how well can you know anyone? I’ve made bad judgment calls before. My thoughts only turn more dramatic as we continue down the main road and start to head out of town.

Where are we going? I manage to squeak out the words despite my protesting throat.

I figured you’d want to drive around before going back. Wouldn’t want Craig to think the date was cut short, now would you? He said it with a casual laugh, but I cannot relax enough to appreciate it.

As we continue to roam the dark back-roads, I make a conscious effort to control my breathing and relax my muscles while staring out the window. The straight, flat county highway is quiet. We meet less than ten cars as we waste time before calling it a night. We are both quiet for the rest of the drive. I’m not sure what Travis is thinking, but I’m using the peaceful silence to replay my short conversation with Craig.

Introducing him as Pete’s friend was rude and untrue. We may not have had a great start, but the let’s be friends discussion had gone well, to my surprise. I had gotten the impression that Craig regretted lashing out at me, but he’s never apologized, so it could all be in my head.

After forty-five minutes of meandering, Travis pulls into the driveway behind my sister, Anna’s, Jeep and grabs my hand. I force myself to look at him when he whispers my name.

When you figure out what you want, if it’s not him, give me a call. I’m not saying I’ll wait, but if I’m single, I want another chance. What do you say? he asks.

Relief that Travis isn’t angry washes over me like a healing salve. His laid-back personality drew me to him, but you never know what someone might do when pushed too far.

I’d say I’m a lucky girl to know you. I release his hand and lay my palm against his cheek. I’m so sorry. I really wanted to be ready. With that admission, I lower my eyes and rest my hands on my lap, unable to face him any longer.

Without a word, Travis exits the car and comes around to open my door to walk me to the back porch of the building. After a quick hug good night we say good-bye. I open the door leading to the stairwell and walk in without turning on the lights. After shutting the door behind me, I lean my forehead against it, barely able to hold myself up after the emotionally charged evening.  With an exaggerated exhale, I turn the deadbolt with a quiet click.

Did you kiss him?

I jump, startled, and my back slams against the door as a yelp echoes against the walls.

Chapter Two

Craig

Before I get my last word out, Christine is pressing herself against the door screaming. I leap off the concrete stair to cover her mouth and muffle the sound hoping no one wakes up from the noise. I feel like shit for waiting for her like this, but I had to see her. Finding her on a date tonight was brutal, and I have to know how far he got. The idea of anyone touching what’s mine is driving me crazy, so coming here was still a better choice than charging after them and killing him. The reality is that dude didn’t do anything wrong. I did. I let her walk away; hell I pushed her away because I was angry. She has every right to meet new guys, but I’ll be damned if I have to sit back and let it happen without a fight.

I know Christine well enough to be sure she wouldn’t bring a guy home, not with her nephew, Roman, there, so I asked Noah to let me in. Noah is like a brother to me, but I put him