Diary of a Recovering Sex Addict

By Erin Pim

Sharon, a recovering sex addict, is informed by her therapist that she must enroll in Sexual Addicts Anonymous. Convinced that she has her problem under control, she procrastinates getting a sponsor, and continues to try and manage her addiction alone. Hooking up with almost everyone she comes across, from co-workers to ex-boyfriends to other members of SAA, real recovery remains elusive to Sharon. Will she ever truly kick her addiction?

• Language: English
• Publisher: House of Erotica
• Release date: Oct 8, 2014
• ISBN: 9781783339976

Book preview

1988.

Chapter One

Dear Diary,

Mark has told me that he doesn’t want to see me anymore. Ugh.

I’m fine emotionally; I mean, I wasn’t attached to him in any way, except constantly, at the genitals. Mostly, I’m feeling anxiety about how I’m going to satisfy myself on a regular basis, from now on. That’s all this is. Searching for a new person every time gets exhausting. I’ll never end up doing anything else! Not to mention, it’s messy. When I don’t have a consistent sexual partner, my life is so chaotic. And, I hate when it’s like that.

Sharon

Sharon sits in the office of her therapist, going through her pre-therapy ritual. She arrives exactly fifteen minutes early, and goes into a vertical fetal position in the chair, curling her upper body down towards her lap. She does this not only to feel comforted and relaxed, but to avoid thinking about the receptionist in a sexual manner. Upon signing in, she noticed that Rita was missing a button at her bosom. They’re sizeable things, so it’s possible that the shear force of her glorious tits pulling at the confines of her cardigan sweater...

No, she thinks. Concentrate.

Sharon’s pulls the ponytail of her straight brown hair a little tighter, and closes her eyes. She silently lists off all her goals for the upcoming session.

Talk about Mark. Confide about sexual anxiety. Request a plan for the future.

Sharon? Rita smiles. Sharon now notices her seductive shade of lipstick. A subtle, glossy pink, that reminds her of a pair of perfectly waxed, slightly moistened pussy lips. He’s ready for you.

And I’m ready for you, Sharon wistfully thinks. She strongly wishes that this was a different type of appointment. For a whore, for example.

She stands, and walks through the door of personal wellness.

Hello, Sharon, Gord greets her. He’s a CSAT; that is, a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist, though Sharon sees him for various compulsions, highly ritualized patterns of sexual behaviour being only one of them. He’s a middle aged, bearded, cardigan wearing man, but she can’t help herself. She dreams about him being her daddy, but tries to remain professional during their sessions. How are you? He asks.

Good, she chirps. Managing, and retaining perspective.

I see, Gord nods. Sharon detects a bit of doubt, or condescension in his tone. Always trying to maintain a positive outlook, she continues.

Yes. There are a few things I would like to accomplish with today’s session, if that’s alright with you.

Alright, he laughs, at the familiarity of her quirks. Let me have it.

Well, I am not longer seeing Mark. So, I would like to develop...

You’re not? Sharon, stop for a moment.

I’m fine. Really. But, I would like to...

Hold on. I’m going to stop you right there. Sharon takes a frustrated breath, but nods. How does that make you feel?

I’m fine. We weren’t that close. But, I think you’ll agree that this leaves a void in my life that I’ll need to fill. And I don’t want to end up... er, ‘using’.

So, if you could use a feeling to describe the situation you are in...

Anxiety. Fear. She knows what he wants to hear.

That’s good, Sharon. It’s good to recognize the desire to use. Sharon nods, allowing him to think that the direction of this inquiry is his idea. It’s a great first step, and one you usually make without too much trouble. But, I don’t want you to get stuck there this time. He takes a dramatic pause. I’d like to send you to SAA.

The blood drains from Sharon’s genitals.

Wait... what?

I think it would be very good for you, especially at a time like this.

Oh, I don’t think I need to do that...

I do. You’re going to need more help than I can offer you in our counselling, and a sponsor can be available to you twenty four, seven. I think that’s what we need to do, to ensure that you don’t revert to addiction.

Can’t I just see you more often?

Sharon, no. You’re just going to have to trust my professional opinion on this one.

I... don’t know what to say.

Say that you’ll try it. She pauses, to think. As good an idea as Sexual Addicts Anonymous sounds, it usually just