Super Lizard Returns

By Chris Harvey

He's back and he is nicer than ever. The Nigerian lizard super hero who lives in North Yorkshire returns for four more short stories. Witness Super Lizard and his new side kick get their costumes, solve crimes, save hostages and defeat villians. Well bumble along a bit and annoy the North Yorkshire Police department whilst attempting to help. You will laugh, you will cry but most of all you will ask, what is he doing now?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chris Harvey
• Release date: Aug 21, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310245022

Chris Harvey

ICT Teacher from England who loves writing. Writes children's and young adult fiction. Any constructive criticism welcome.

Book preview

Foreword

After the challenge I set myself for National Short Story Week back in 2012 culminated in Super Lizard Beings I thought I would end up writing a one off story but it quickly became apparent that I really like the characters of Ropo and Tony. I find that focusing on pure comedy (although I know I do not achieve this) helps me de-stress and thus it is a very enjoyable process when writing about Super Lizard. When thinking of more short stories I could write I quickly put down many jokes and was able to build story ideas around them. The ease of getting plots together, along with a few people saying they would like to read more Super Lizard, has meant I decided to go ahead and write this set of four more Super Lizard short stories. I am rather proud of them and think they are quite funny. I hope you do too.

Sequins and Spandex

The shoulder length blond hair whipped up. Caught by the wind it quickly rippled and fell back into place.

Get that blimming wig off! Tony shouted, you look like a drag queen. And can someone shut that door? It’s freezing in here.

Tony looked round for the shop assistant, vague memories of smoking boots coming into his mind. He sighed and went to shut the door himself. A lot had happened since they had left the convenience store earlier that day. Mostly taxis screeching away at high speeds leaving a two hour walk to the next village. And there was that helicopter, it kept flying over them. Tony thought there must be some kind of emergency in a remote part of the Dales, probably a group of walkers had fallen into a pot hole and they could only evacuate a few at a time. It did hover over them quite a lot but they were probably just looking for directions.

The main thing was that they had made it to the aptly named ‘Sequins and Spandex’ fancy dress shop. Tony’s excitement for ill-fitting costumes was infectious and Ropo, he was technically off duty so to call him Super Lizard may jeopardise his superhero identity, had been carried along. Not literally, he’s a ten foot mutated lizard! There had been a marked difference in responses to Ropo since entering the fancy dress shop. Where others had run and screamed, generally shoppers here, of which there had been two, seemed more intent on congratulating him on an amazing costume. That had led to the accident. Tony had asked the shop keeper for some super hero costumes at which the shop keeper had intelligently decided that Ropo needed to remove his costume first. When Ropo looked confused the shop keeper, being a helpful sort of chap, decided he would aid in the removal of said costume. After spending a minute trying to wrench Ropo’s head off it was safe to say that the shop keeper had no head of his own. Or arms, or hands, or body, or legs, or feet come to think of it. No, all he now had to his name was a beautiful pair of boots with whiffs of smoke emanating from them that sat nicely on a scorched area of carpet. Ropo noted, not for the first time, that he needed to see a doctor about this layer eye thing. He also thought, whilst giving that ‘it wasn’t me gov’ shifty eye look, that none of these people were wearing boots when the laser beams hit them. Another conundrum he would solve later. Anyhow, that had done wonders for clearing the shop and presently Ropo and Tony had free reign of the costumes the shop had to offer.

Just as they were getting back into the search the crackling noise of the mega phone came again, come out with your hands up and we can sort this whole mess out, we don’t want any trouble.

Tony, turning to the door and misreading the situation completely, shouted irritably, we’re not ready yet, give us a few more minutes. He turned to Ropo, their gonna love it when we get out, we’re gonna look fabulous.

~

Time passed, it general does. After Ropo had managed to accidently rip Superman, Batman and Spiderman costumes due to his large size it was decided that a Jedi robe might be the best. It only went up to his knees but at least covered his modesty. Tony was more of a problem, however. Given the choice of a middle aged average height man or a ten foot lizard having problems finding a costume the safe money is on the lizard. The issues, however, stemmed from the fact that Tony, whilst not being extremely overweight, was far from thin. Rotund is probably the best describing word. It was not that Tony could not fit into any outfits, it was more the outfit he wanted. A bright red Morph suit.

As Tony strode out of the changing room Ropo’s first comment did not help the situation, I can see your nipples! There was a pause, Tony’s face said it all. Anger filled him like someone pouring water into an empty bucket, it started at the bottom of his chin, a line of red, suitably matching the Morph suit, raising quickly towards his forehead as if a thermometer had been