I’ve Been Down Here Before, But This Time I Know the Way Out: Curing the No Way Out Syndrome

By McDowell Graham

Have you ever wondered how some people can willingly walk away from what they know to embark on a journey into a future that isn’t even defined? Do you marvel at people who recklessly go out on a limb—and intentionally saw themselves off? Do you find yourself thinking, “I couldn’t do that in a million years”? Have you ever said to yourself, “But if I only knew how they did it, maybe I could do it too”? Then this book is for you! This book is about the “not in a million years” component of personal reinvention. You’ll hear from people who started out with one set of ideas, perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, and experiences and then ended up at a “not in a million years” place that was far different from anywhere they had been before. Most importantly, they’ll tell you how they did it so that you can do it too! Using a simple six-step plan, you, too, will be able to climb out of any hole you might be in and begin your own journey of personal transformation and reinvention!

• Language: English
• Publisher: McDowell Graham
• Release date: Jul 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310344602

McDowell Graham

McDowell Graham is an Author, Intuitive Mentor, and Therapeutic Storyteller. Her Life Purpose is to help people see themselves and their place in the world with new eyes.McDowell describes her books as a “collaboration” with Divine Source. Each book begins as an experience or an encounter in her daily life that provides new ways of thinking, which are to be brought forth and shared with others. Once the message is received, the book essentially writes itself. Divine Source holds the wisdom. McDowell is simply a grateful messenger.You can connect with McDowell on her website at www.cracksinconsciousness.com, and you can follow her on Facebook at Cracks in Consciousness.

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I’ve Been Down Here Before, But This Time I Know the Way Out!

Curing the No Way Out Syndrome

by McDowell Graham

Examine  Envision  Emerge

I’ve Been Down Here Before, But This Time I Know the Way Out

Curing the No Way Out Syndrome

Published by McDowell Graham at Smashwords

Copyright 2015, 2020 McDowell Graham

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the Author (except by a reviewer or other Author, who may quote brief passages accompanied by an accurate attribution to this book).

Disclaimer: The advice and strategies contained in this book may not be suitable for every situation. This book is sold with the understanding that the Author is not suggesting or recommending legal, accounting, or other professional services. If professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this book may have changed or disappeared between when this book was written and when it was read.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

ISBN 9781310344602

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Will Work to Feed Dogs: Seven Steps to Identifying Meaningful Life-Work Now!

Getting What You Wish For: A Short and Sweet Guide to Manifesting the Sweet Life

Dedication

For Kona

Love you to the moon and back

To infinity and beyond

Forever and ever

And for everyone who generously and courageously shared their stories of personal transformation and reinvention with me.

Table of Contents

Hey Joe, It’s Me, Can You Help Me Out?

Introduction

Maybe You Can Get There From Here—But How?

The Secret Handshake

How This Book Is Organized

Six Steps to Curing the No Way Out Syndrome

Chapter 1—Beyond This Place There Be Dragons: The Journeys

Now You See It, Now You Don’t: My Story

Stepping Off into the Darkness: Joline’s Story

Pursuit of the Heart: Ella’s Story

Doing What Had to Be Done: Linda’s Story

From Techno Geek to Sex Goddess: Patti’s Story

Doing the Thing You Think You Cannot Do: JC’s Story

Physician, Heal Thyself: Camillia’s Story

Chapter 2—The Prescription for the Cure: RCSFs

One Potent Wake-Up Call and 26 Weeks of Unemployment: My RCSFs

No Place Like Home: Joline’s RCSFs

Just Do It: Ella’s RCSFs

Wake the Sleeping Tiger: Linda’s RCSFs

Be Willing, and Let Go: Patti’s RCSFs

Trust Myself: JC’s RCSFs

The Captain of My Own Fate: Camillia’s RCSFs

Chapter 3—Climbing Out of the Hole: The Destinations

Author, Motivational Speaker (at Least My Dogs Think So), Intuitive Consultant: My Destination

The Journey of Joy Continues: Joline’s Destination

Passion and Paws: Ella’s Destination

Up, Up, and Away: Linda’s Destination

Having Everything I Need: Patti’s Destination

Never Give Up: JC’s Destination

Sharing the Message of Hope: Camillia’s Destination

Chapter 4—Scaling the Steep Walls: The Way Out

Step One: Harnessing the Power of Permission

Step Two: Acknowledging Your A-Ha Moments and Wake-Up Calls

Step Three: Recognizing Your Crossroads

Step Four: Opening the Door to Your Options

Step Five: Having a Goal—and its Rewards—in Mind

Step Six: Identifying and Releasing Your Limiting Thoughts and Beliefs

Chapter 5—The Way Ahead

Suggested Reading and Works Cited

Links to Relevant Sites

About the Author

Connect with Me!

Hey Joe, It’s Me, Can You Help Me Out?

This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out.

A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, Hey you. Can you help me out? The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole, and moves on.

Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out? The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole, and moves on.

Then a friend walks by. Hey Joe, it’s me, can you help me out? And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here. The friend says, Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.

The West Wing, Episode #32, Noël, Leo McGarry tells Josh Lyman this story.

Introduction

The way we habitually think of our surroundings and ourselves create the worlds that each of us inhabit. Charles Duhigg

In September 2014, I found myself at a personal and professional crossroads. My 5-year contract with the government was due to expire, and it had become clear that my company was not going to re-compete it, meaning that all of us were going to be laid off.

I was five months shy of my 60th birthday, single, no children, two dogs. I had been employed by my company, a very large, well-known defense contractor, for nearly 6 years, and had been working as a business process engineer and project planner for the Department of Defense for 11 years. My current job paid me just over $106,000 annually and provided me with affordable health care benefits and employee discounts for everything from rental cars to flowers to pet insurance.

I also had two mortgages (three, if you count my vacation ownership), about $100,000 in 401Ks and IRAs, no pension, $25,000 in credit card debt, a younger sister I was assisting financially, and I was two years shy of qualifying for Social Security benefits.

Now, keep in mind that my expiring contract didn’t necessarily mean that I would be out of work. Typically, an expiring contract is awarded to another company, and the existing employees are offered positions with the new company (to ensure what is called business continuity). And so it was in my situation. I was confident that no matter which company won the contract, I would be offered a position (though at what salary or benefits was anyone’s guess), which was as sure a Sure Thing as it could possibly get in this day and age.

Truth be told, I had been unhappy for a long time in my job. But I was far more afraid of not having an income than I was of not being happy, and so choosing not to accept a position with the new company was, for me, no choice at all. I was just going to have to stay down in that hole and gut it out, just like I always had in the past and just like, I assumed, I always would in the future.

And so, by October—the 26th, to be exact—I was resolved to stay and accept a position with whichever company won the contract no matter what.

Then, just five days later, on Halloween, not only did I change my mind—I completely changed how I would live the rest of my life. Because on that day, not only did I see a way out, I actually climbed out of the hole. I chose to walk away from my six-figure salary, health benefits, and employee discounts, and instead accept the layoff, a meager 3-week severance check, a small vacation payout, 26 weeks of unemployment benefits, and an unknown job market—and when I say walk, I mean I ran.

If you had told me a year ago that I would even be willing to consider leaving my Sure Thing job let alone actually leave it without any kind of Sure Thing waiting in the wings, my response to you would have been, Not in a million years.

So what happened?

This book is about the not in a million years component of personal reinvention. It’s an exploration of what motivates someone to willingly walk away from what they know to embark on the journey into a future that in many cases isn’t even defined. It’s a book about turning points, A-ha moments, spiritual awakenings, and realizations.

This book is for anyone who has ever marveled at stories of reinvention—and then wondered how someone could actually do what Anthony Doerr described in his book, All the Light We Cannot See: You step forward. You jump.

And this book is for anyone who wants to embark on their own reinvention journey, using the inspiration, guidance, strategies, and personal transformation tips and tricks that others have so generously shared with me. With their help, I distilled everything into what I call the Six Steps to Curing the No Way Out Syndrome. It’s your personal roadmap to seeing the way out of any hole you might be in, scaling those steep