Fathers in the House: Why Everyone Needs a Father

By Tudor Bismark

Fathers in the House provides answers for young pastors and ministers navigating the arena of vocational ministry. Bishop Tudor Bismark, through personal example and biblical proof, offers a father's insight on some important questions on the dividing live of ministry today.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jul 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9780989197854

Book preview

Apostles

Introduction

Fathering has many definitions, indicators and qualifying marks.

To procreate, to beget, to be part of a gene pool that’s been established

To walk with a footprint that’s been released in one’s life

Seed carrier. The Hebrew word is zara, which means one that carries seed, the custodian of DNA.

To sire. This means one is going to produce, especially as an effect.

To make oneself the founder of, the producer of, the author of, the originator in which is a nucleus of all movement.

One who has the ability that does not just produce, but accepts responsibility for what’s been produced, for what’s been released as a DNA dynamic.

Fathering then is to accept the headship. It is to place responsibility for the origin or the cause of a thing. So when one creates something—good, bad, or ugly—as a father you have to accept the responsibility of this thing because not everything fathers produce is guaranteed to be successful or good.

The same father can produce great kids and bad kids, successful kids and failures, but he has to accept responsibility for all. As a father –this is very important—Paul said we have many instructors, many teachers, instructors that teach every discipline, but few fathers, few carriers of seed, few producers of DNA, few that are a legitimate life source, few that have the ability to create a name and pass on that name.

My father doesn’t have my name; I have his name. My father doesn’t have my looks; I have his looks. My father doesn’t have my eyes; I have his eyes. My father doesn’t walk like me; I walk like him. A father has the ability to create and produce a culture and a philosophy.

Fathering is more than just a natural function, and extends beyond gender, if it is what God put in you to do, be and accomplish. Effective and impactful fathering is not easily explained because it is the impartation of the intangibles. Yet, one’s absence of fathering can be a cultural, social, familial, and a spiritual eyesore for others to tread carefully around.

This book compiles insights gained and revelations received over several decades of ministry service. Additionally, I am the natural father of four sons, the spiritual father of many spiritual sons and daughters, and the apostolic leader and covering to ministries and organizations in Africa, Europe and the United States. While this does not necessarily qualify me to speak on fathering, God has enabled me to see and experience many things in my time that can assist future generations from potentially sabotaging what should be rich and blessed inheritances.

We begin our discussion with the types of fathers. On these broader categories we will grow in our understanding of the kinds of relationships that exist with fathering and what expectations there should be for results. If you are reading this book and have daddy issues—absent fathers, abusive fathers, weak fathers, and so on—then you will experience understanding in deeper and different places than those of us who began with Godly, attentive fathers. Do not allow your past to keep you from changing and accepting a better future.

BIOLOGICAL FATHERS

The men who sired us gave us many things. They contributed to our strengths and weaknesses. As we come into life and settle into our identities, we confront the parts of us that are like our fathers—desirable and undesirable. Whether our memories are positive, negative or not at all, we are forever connected to our biological fathers. If our fathers were good men and lived up to their duty, it does not matter. If they were scoundrels and neglected responsibility, it does not matter. We remain the product of their seed.

SPIRITUAL FATHERS

When it comes to the hot topic of spiritual fathering, not all fathers are fathers. There are people that have sired sons, but they really are not fathers to those sons. They have a physical front of being that, but in reality they do not follow through. They take on tasks that are above their area of responsibility, their measure of rule, and their actual gifting. For example, not everyone that pastors a church is a father. He may father the people in that church, but should not take on a calling of fathering other people, other leaders, and other individuals.

When people call me and say, Please can you father me, they may mean can you mentor me. Or, they may mean can you be a coach, which means the interaction is seasonal and temporal because specific training is needed or requested. Not all fathers in the local church setting can be fathers in a regional setting. The fact that an individual may have a large assembly may not qualify them to be a father outside of that large assembly.

SURROGATE FATHERS

Surrogate fathers are placed because of default. When natural and spiritual fathers disqualify themselves through sin and indiscretion, surrogate fathers arise to offer guidance, direction, and strong presence for modeling and development. In Genesis 39:1–6, Potiphar was a surrogate father to Joseph. Potiphar groomed him and gave him access to much information. Joseph entered manhood because of Potiphar’s trust in him to run his entire household.

Jesus also had a surrogate father in Joseph. His heavenly father was not with Him. His heavenly father only shows up when He’s 30 years old and says, Hey! This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. Well, where was the heavenly father for 30 years. As active as the Heavenly father was, He was not active in Jesus’ life. The Heavenly father did not teach Jesus how to read. The Heavenly father did not teach Jesus 1 + 1 = 2. He didn’t teach Him manners. That was the surrogate father Joseph.

CORPORATE FATHERS

Corporate fathering is the weight of a burden placed on many shoulders in a region. Consider the city where you live. If you have lived there for a while, then you start to hear certain names in cycles. These are successful, respectable (and respected), seasoned voices who oversee the key areas in the city—not just spiritually, but also in business, government, and civic participation. Corporate fathers serve as a kind of council who pool their experiences and understanding to create sound practices for the rest of us to adhere to and follow. This kind of fathering is the anointing of Elders that we see in so many places. It is significant to the continuation of legacy.

Take this book, then, as an attempt to bring light into a room that has been filled with a brooding fog. Think of it as opening the window to this stuffy room and letting in a fresh breeze of hope and faith, in love. Approach this book from where you are, but keep in mind where you are going. Fathers, let this book help you refine your fathering style. Sons, let this book answer your questions, temper your zeal, and settle your spirit about your life and ministry. Let the journey begin.

Father-Son Dynamics

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder…

Isaiah 9:6

The principle is that children are born, but only sons are given. Not everyone that is born in the church is a son to a father in ministry. The principle is that to as many as believed him, they become the sons (John 1:12). When we believe God we become His sons. In ministry, there are people that get saved in church but they do not believe. Believers do not form the frame of what you are. They are not sons, they are just people that are believers. They are just people in the church. They are people that are sitting there. However, when there are individuals that are developing, and they become sons, they then begin to establish government. Children are born. Sons are given. The government is on the shoulders of the sons and they become the formulators of government.

And his name shall be called… That is the DNA. Once people are able to handle government, the DNA of the house is then legally transmitted to them. The reason people do not have the DNA of the house is because they are not willing to have governmental structures on their lives. Governmental structures are the house rules. They are unwilling because they have not been given as sons. They are just children born.

Again, children are born. Sons are given. Government is established, and DNA determined. Once that DNA is determined, then you can start naming these kids.

…And His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace

Isaiah 9:6

Fathers establish government. This is order, structure, strategy and systems. It is the impartation of life and blessing. The reason many