June & Justin

By P.D. Workman

Justin had made a mistake. A big, life-changing mistake.

He already failed June once. He wasn’t there when she needed him, and because of him, their lives will never be the same. June is everything to Justin, and he must be everything to her. He must protect June at all costs. Justin is prepared spend the rest of his life keeping her from getting hurt again.

But it seems they are always falling behind, barely keeping one step ahead of the nightmares.

There is always one more hazard, just around the corner.

- A heartbreaking and intense story of the journey of two children to find themselves and happiness.

- Is it possible to rise above your circumstances when you already have two strikes against you? That is the question facing June and Justin, children thrust into circumstances that would defeat many adults. Can they ever hope to live happy, normal lives?

• Language: English
• Publisher: P.D. Workman
• Release date: Jun 17, 2015
• ISBN: 9781926500225

P.D. Workman

P.D. Workman is a USA Today Bestselling author, winner of several awards from Library Services for Youth in Custody and the InD’tale Magazine’s Crowned Heart award. With over 100 published books, Workman is one of Canada’s most prolific authors. Her mystery/suspense/thriller and young adult books, include stand alones and these series: Auntie Clem's Bakery cozy mysteries, Reg Rawlins Psychic Investigator paranormal mysteries, Zachary Goldman Mysteries (PI), Kenzie Kirsch Medical Thrillers, Parks Pat Mysteries (police procedural), and YA series: Medical Kidnap Files, Tamara's Teardrops, Between the Cracks, and Breaking the Pattern.Workman has been praised for her realistic details, deep characterization, and sensitive handling of the serious social issues that appear in all of her stories, from light cozy mysteries through to darker, grittier young adult and mystery/suspense books.

Book preview

PART ONE

CHAPTER

ONE

Justin woke up groggily. He kept trying to go back to sleep, but the persistent noises wouldn’t let him settle back in again. He rubbed his eyes, still disoriented at being wakened out of a heavy sleep. He tried to sort out the noises. He thought he could hear his mom’s and June’s voices, and running water. He looked over at the other bed, where June still usually slept, even though their parents had moved her to Ronnie’s old bed in Chloe’s room ages ago and didn’t want her sleeping with her twin. Girls and boys weren’t supposed to sleep in the same room anymore once they were school-age.

But the night light provided the light that he needed to see that she hadn’t snuck back in. The bed was empty. Unslept in.

Justin swung his feet over the side of the bed and crept down the hallway to the bathroom. His mom’s and June’s voices were more clear now, and the loud noise of water running into the bathtub. Justin turned the handle and opened the door silently to see what was going on. June was in the tub, their mother sitting on the edge, washing her. The woman turned around, maybe feeling a draft from the open door, or sensing that someone was there.

Justin. Go back to bed, she ordered.

Justin ignored the command.

What’s wrong? he asked. Is June sick?

Yes. Now back to bed. Go back to sleep.

Did she throw up?

Bed. Now. You’re making it cold in here.

Justin looked worriedly at June. She was crying. She looked small and forlorn, like she was a toddler instead of eight. Her face was washed clean of the makeup that she had started to wear lately. Her dark hair, wet, straggled in rat’s tails down her back. Justin ran a hand through his own dark hair, shorter than June’s, but still long for a boy’s. June didn’t look at Justin. He wasn’t even sure that she was aware he was there. Their mom told June impatiently to hush, swishing the washcloth in the tub water and wiping the tears from her face.

Close the door, she told Justin again, raising her voice but not turning around again.

Justin withdrew and closed the door. He stood for a couple of minutes in the hallway with his ear pressed against the door, listening to June sob and their mother repeatedly shush her and tell her she was okay. Eventually, Justin turned around and returned to his room. He pulled the blankets over himself and curled up, trying to warm himself up again. He wiggled his toes under the pile of his old teddy bears and plushies to warm up.

He lay there, listening to the sounds down the hallway, waiting for his mother to take June back to bed.

When he woke up to sun starting to filter into the room through the closed blinds, Justin realized he must have fallen back asleep again while waiting to hear June go back to bed. He stretched and scratched his chin. Justin reached over to his dresser and pulled out a dark hoodie and a pair of socks. He got up and added a gold necklace to the outfit and dragged a comb through his hair. A handful of mousse wet it down and would hopefully keep it in place. Justin paused for a moment to inspect the healing cut above his lip from a fight with Banks, one of the older boys, a fifth-grader. He was pretty sure it would leave a scar.

Justin went to find June.

Chloe’s door was shut. Justin didn’t bother to knock; he just opened the door and went in. The thirteen-year-old was standing in front of the mirror, primping her shaggy blond hair, and turned to Justin with a scowl, pulling the fallen strap of her pink halter-top back into place. The air was thick with the fumes from her hairspray. Justin coughed.

You can’t just come in here, Chloe growled. This is my room, not yours.

It’s June’s room.

It’s my room too. You have to knock and get permission. Girls need privacy.

Justin shrugged and turned around to June’s bed. June eyes were open just a slit, looking at him. She was dressed in a pink nightgown edged with lace that he couldn’t remember her ever wearing before. Something their mother must have picked out. June usually liked t-shirts or sweats. June’s skin was white, not rosy like usual. Justin sat on the bed and touched her dark, tangled hair.

Are you okay, June?

June grunted something.

Did you puke? he asked.

June held her hand to her head and rubbed it.

Don’t remember. She burped, and lurched toward him, her other hand on her stomach. But I think…

Justin moved quickly out of her way. June staggered out of the bed and stumbled out the door. Justin followed behind her at a distance. June made it safely to the bathroom before throwing up. Justin stayed in the hallway, waiting for her to finish. He suddenly wasn’t feeling too hungry for breakfast himself. June rested her head on the edge of the toilet.

You okay? Justin asked after a few minutes.

Uggh. No.

You must have thrown up last night too.

She turned her head and looked at him. I don’t remember, she repeated.

Are you done?

June held her stomach, shaking her head.

Want me to call Mom?

What for?

Justin shrugged. Chloe came out into the hallway. She had put on a faded denim jacket over her outfit. One side of her blue jeans sagged down below her hip.

Are you going to school? Chloe asked June.

Justin looked at her in astonishment. Are you kidding? he demanded. She’s too sick to go to school!

Sometimes after you throw up, you feel okay, Chloe pointed out, hands on hips.

She’s too sick.

Let June answer.

Justin scowled at her.

I’m too sick, June moaned in agreement.

Chloe turned her attention to Justin. "Well, you’d better get ready for school then. You don’t want to be late." She glanced at the time on her phone and slid it away.

Justin didn’t bother to point out that he already was dressed for school. I’m staying home to look after June.

Chloe looked in at June, frowning. She’s not a baby. She can stay home by herself. You have to go to school.

Justin shook his head. You can’t tell me what to do.

I’m in charge when Mom and Dad aren’t home.

You can’t make me, Justin maintained.

They were interrupted by June throwing up again. They both looked at her. Chloe wrinkled her nose and went into the kitchen to make coffee. Justin stuck around.

I’m staying home with you, he assured June.

June just moaned.

It was a few nights later; Justin stirred as his door squeaked open. He turned over and saw June creep in and slip into the empty bed. Neither of them said anything. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep again.

But he didn’t sleep soundly. June was tossing and turning noisily. Justin drifted in and out of dreams. June’s breathing finally settled into a steady rhythm, but she still moved around. Then she started to moan and cry out. Justin slipped out of bed and went over to her. He shook her arm gently.

June. Wake up. You’re having a dream.

She gasped and sat up abruptly. No. No, Mom!

Shh, he quieted her. I’m here, June. It’s Justin. Shh.

Justy? June hugged him. Oh. She breathed out, relaxing in his hold.

You okay? Have a bad dream?

Yeah. I guess.

Come on over with me, Justin suggested.

June agreed, climbing out of bed. They both went over to Justin’s bed. Justin lay down with her, and wrapped his arms around her comfortingly. There. Now go back to sleep.

With a sigh, June snuggled and drifted quietly off to sleep.

The teacher called on June, and Justin glanced over at her, moving his eyes but not his head. June appeared to be gazing out the window, completely oblivious to Mrs. Mitchell. Some of the other children started to giggle, but June still didn’t clue in and turn her attention back to the class. The teacher walked over to June’s desk and stopped right beside her. There was silence while everyone waited for June’s reaction. Eventually, she turned her attention back to the class, and startled when she saw the teacher at her desk.

Oh! Mrs. Mitchell. Her eyes were wide, and she looked over at Justin for some sort of clue as to what she should do. She adjusted the shoulder strap that was falling down her arm.

What are you daydreaming about, June? the teacher asked.

Oh… ummm… I just…

I need you to focus on what we are doing.

Okay. Yes.

Justin watched June’s feet shift back and forth and cross and uncross. She shot him another look, desperate for help. But there was nothing Justin could do. They had already threatened to put the twins in different classes, and they had both promised to act like they didn’t even know each other, and work on their own schoolwork separately, and not talk to each other during class. It was a mistake that had put them both into the same class in the first place. Schools didn’t like having siblings in the same room. If Justin interfered with class discipline, they would go ahead and move him to the other grade three class, even if it was mid-year. He swallowed and looked straight ahead at the board, unable to help June.

Stay in at recess. I want to go over some of your work with you, Mrs. Mitchell directed.

June nodded, looking down at the top of her desk with teary eyes. Justin longed to be able to go over and comfort her. It wasn’t fair that he had to ignore her embarrassment. But he stayed stoic, staring straight ahead.

The teacher went back to the front of the class and continued with the lesson. But Justin barely heard a word of it, too distracted by June’s sniffles on the other side of the room.

It was lunch time before Justin had an opportunity to talk to June. She’d been kept in all the way through recess, not just for the first few minutes. Once the lunch bell rang and they were both outside the classroom, they immediately joined hands.

What did she say? Justin asked.

He gave her hand a squeeze and then let go, not wanting to look like a sissy in front of the other boys. June shook her head. Her eyes filled with tears again. I didn’t get my worksheets done, she explained. And the stuff that I did was wrong… I just didn’t understand it.

Which worksheets? Math? Phonics? I’ll help you.

All of them, June shook her head and wiped at the corners of her eyes.

All of them? I’ll help you…

June sighed deeply. I don’t even want to do them, she said.

But… you have to do them, Justin pointed out.

They got into the cafeteria and looked around for seats. Justin pulled June over to a pair of free seats that were side by side, and they sat down and opened their lunch bags.

I don’t want to do anything, Justy. I just can’t do it.

She put her face in her hands, elbows on the table. Justin studied her, frowning to himself. Something was very wrong. He’d known for a while now. There was something she wasn’t telling him. And it was getting worse.

Don’t cry at school, he murmured to her, giving her back a quick rub.

I’m not. But clearly she was. Her body jerked with her sobs.

Come on, June. It’s okay. It’s just schoolwork.

She shook her head.

What, then? he demanded.

I don’t know. I can’t say.

Justin’s stomach knotted. Guilt washed over him like a wave. Why couldn’t she tell him what was wrong? They shared everything. What? he persisted. Come on. Tell me.

June shook her head again. She rubbed her eyes and lifted her face out of her hands. Without looking at him, she unwrapped her sandwich and poked the straw into her juice box.

June, he prompted.

She took one glance at him, her face screwed up in an attempt not to cry, and then looked back down at her lunch. Justin held her arm.

Is it because you’ve been sick lately? he asked. Is that why you’re having trouble with the school work? It’s okay!

June shrugged. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, she said.

Justin let it go. He ate his lunch without tasting it, watching her movements covertly. June sniffled a few times, but had nothing more to say. She drank her juice, but only took a couple of bites of her sandwich.

I’m not hungry, she said, offering it to him.

You need to eat, Justin said tentatively.

I don’t feel good.

Justin touched her face with the back of his fingers, but she didn’t seem hot. Your stomach again?

June nodded. Justin took the sandwich from her. She put her head down on her folded arms on the table, and closed her eyes.

Do you want to go to the nurse’s?

No.

Do you want to go home?

June opened her eyes and looked at him, not answering.

Do you?

June nodded. Yeah. But they won’t let us.

Justin shrugged. It’s lunch time. They can’t stop us from leaving.

June sat up again. Her eyebrows went up hopefully, eyes widening. We can go home?

Sure. Let’s go.

They both got up, leaving the rest of their school lunches on the table, and headed for the door. A supervisor stopped them.

Where are you guys going?

June’s sick. I’m taking her to the nurse, Justin said.

The supervisor looked at June, and decided it was okay. She motioned to the door, and the children left.

I don’t want to go to the nurse, June complained.

We’re not. I just told her that. Come on.

They left their schoolbags in the classroom, and just headed out the nearest door. They had only gotten a few steps out the door, when Justin heard a voice calling his name.

Justin Simpson.

He turned quickly, and was relieved to see it wasn’t a teacher, but one of the other boys, affecting a deep voice. Justin shook his head.

Thought I was in for it! he complained. What’s up?

Robbie nodded at him. Where are you going? Looking for some action?

Justin motioned for Robbie’s cigarette, and when Robbie handed it over, took a quick drag on it, hoping it would help to relax the knot of worry and guilt in his stomach.

Just headin’ home, he explained.

Why don’t we get some of the boys together and do something? Who wants to go home?

Justin glanced aside at June. I gotta look after my kid sister. She’s sick.

Robbie took the cigarette back, looking June over. She looks okay to me.

She’s sick, Justin repeated. I’ll have to catch you tomorrow, okay?

She can go home by herself.

Justin shook his head. He took June by the arm, and headed across the playground toward home.

I’m not your kid sister, June muttered.

Justin grinned. You’re twenty minutes younger. I can call you my kid sister if I want.

CHAPTER

TWO

Justin unlocked the door, and let June step in ahead of him. Do you want to lie down or something? he suggested. What would make you feel better? Are you tired?

June shook her head. She went directly to the kitchen. Apparently, she knew what she wanted. Justin followed her and watched her take a bottle out from below the sink. He raised his eyebrows.

Mom will notice if you drink much of that, he warned.

June shook her head, unscrewing the lid and tipping it up. It’s okay. Daddy gave me some, and she didn’t care.

Justin frowned, watching her and considering her answer. It didn’t make any sense. When had their father given June any kind of alcohol? It was just for company. Neither parent even drank very much.

Dad gave you some… when? he asked.

June lowered the bottle and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Justin took the bottle from her and had a couple of swallows. When I have trouble sleeping. He gives me some to help me sleep. She had another swig and grimaced. It’s not that bad.

Justin shifted his weight uneasily. When you have trouble sleeping, he repeated.

Sometimes when I’m sick, June said.

Justin shook his head, scowling. If you have trouble sleeping, just come in with me, he suggested. Come tonight, okay? And I’ll make sure you don’t have nightmares.

June had another drink, her eyes distant. Yeah, she agreed. I’ll come tonight.

That night, the bedroom door opened, and the light from the hallway spilled into the room, first waking Justin up, and then making him wince and squint while his eyes tried to adjust to the sudden brightness. He could make out the large shapes of both of his parents standing in the doorway, looking at him. Although he couldn’t make out the details of either shape, he immediately recognized his father’s tread as he strode across the room toward the bed. Justin flinched back, wondering what he was in trouble for.

Their father reached down and grabbed June’s shoulder, shaking her roughly awake. June whimpered and resisted, pulling back.

Get up, Mr. Simpson said gruffly. You know you’re not supposed to be in here. You sleep in your own bed.

No… June protested, still half-asleep.

He hauled her to her feet, and June stumbled behind him as he pulled her by the arm to the door. Justin stretched and rubbed his eyes. Their father would take June back to her own bed, but as soon as it was quiet again, or she heard their parents go to bed, June would come back in with Justin, so that she could sleep.

Justin closed his eyes and waited, drifting back off to sleep before she returned.

Justin awoke the next morning to the sounds of June being sick again. He didn’t know how he recognized it as June. Maybe she’d just been sick so often lately that he assumed it was. He pulled on his dark jacket and a couple of pieces of gold jewelry, and did his hair with little care. Then he went to see her.

Of course it was June. Again. Justin looked in at her. You okay?

June turned her head toward the bathroom door and wiped sweat from her face. I’m fine, she muttered.

Maybe you should go to the doctor, Justin suggested worriedly. Does Mom know how much you’ve been sick lately?

June rested her head on the edge of the toilet. She said it’s nothing. I should just go to school.

Go to school? Justin repeated. When you’re puking your guts out? Does she know you’re throwing up all the time?

June nodded. She said it’s nothing, she repeated.

That’s nuts, Justin muttered. You should go to the doctor anyway. Why don’t we go to the clinic? You can talk to the doctor there…

June shook her head.

You really don’t want to? Justin persisted.

I’ll be okay in a little while, June said. It passes in a couple hours.

Something’s not right, Justin said, watching her.

June just closed her eyes and didn’t say anything more. Chloe came storming out of her room, stomping down the hall to the bathroom, obviously looking for trouble.

You’re such a baby! she berated June. I can’t believe how much of a stupid little baby you are! You think I’m going to take care of your mess? I don’t think so! If you don’t want me telling mom, then you’d better take care of it yourself!

Justin looked at Chloe, brows drawn down. What are you talking about? he demanded.

What, your other half didn’t tell you she peed the bed? Eight years old and peeing the bed! It smells like a stinkin’ litter box in there! I’m not cleaning it up.

Justin looked at June. June turned her face away from him, getting red.

She can’t clean anything up right now, Justin said.

Then I’m telling! I’m not cleaning it up!

Justin shook his head. Just leave her alone. She’s sick, okay?

Sick? She just doesn’t want to have to take care of it herself.

I’ll clean it up, Justin said.

"You will? Chloe snorted. You’re going to wash her soaked sheets?"

Yeah, Justin agreed. So just leave her be, okay? I’ll do it.

Chloe made another noise of disgust and walked away.

Thanks, June whispered. And… sorry.

"Shh. You can’t help it. I don’t know what she’s being such a witch about. It’s not like you peed in her bed."

June giggled weakly.

Justin left her alone and went into the girls’ bedroom. Chloe was right about one thing, it did stink. Justin opened the window before going over to June’s bed to carefully collect the soiled sheets. There were also wet clothes tangled up in the blankets. He took them all directly to the washer and started them going. Luckily, each of the beds had a waterproof dust-cover over the mattress, so it wasn’t soaked down into the stuffing. Justin gave the dust-cover a quick swipe with a towel, and got out fresh sheets, making up the bed. When he finished, June was standing in the doorway watching him.

Thanks, she said again, giving a wan smile.

You can’t do it when you’re sick, Justin said, shrugging. And you have to have somewhere to lay down.

She nodded, and walked past him to lie back down again, pulling the blankets up over her and snuggling down.

You going back to sleep?

June nodded. Yeah. For a while.

Justin went to wash up and get a cup of coffee before Chloe drank it all.

A few nights later, Justin waited for June to come in to go to sleep. He tossed and turned restlessly. Normally, she would come in as soon as she thought it was safe. Sometimes she had to wait until their parents were in bed, but usually she found her way in before that. The later it got without June coming in, the more he worried about her.

Disjointed images moved through his mind as he tried to find sleep. June throwing up. The pink nightgown. Their mom bathing June in the middle of the night. None of it made any sense.

He worried about June not seeing a doctor. It was obvious that she was sick, and he couldn’t understand their mother not insisting that she go to the clinic to get some pills or something. What if it was cancer? What if it was something really serious, and she might die without proper treatment?

Justin awoke abruptly, wide awake. There were still lights on in the house. Their parents were not off to bed yet. June had either gotten to sleep on her own, or was waiting until they were gone to bed.

He was too restless to go back to sleep. He didn’t really need to go to the bathroom, but sometimes just getting up and using the bathroom and going back to bed was enough to reset his body, to let it know that it was time for sleep, so he didn’t have to lay there wide awake, waiting for sleep that would never come. So he got up quietly and headed down the hall.

The light in his parents’ room was on, but there were voices in the living room. Not just the television playing. It was odd for the bedroom light to be on if his parents were in the living room. They didn’t like the waste of electricity. Justin stopped in the doorway to the kitchen and peeked around the corner, trying to keep himself as inconspicuous as possible, but catch a glimpse of his parents.

He was surprised to see, not his father and mother as he had expected, but his father and June. The bedroom light was on, that must be because his mother was still up doing something. Justin watched June and their father covertly, trying to figure out what June was doing up so late. Mr. Simpson was holding her in his lap, leaning down to say something in her ear and kiss her on the cheek. Justin’s skin crawled.

Something was wrong.

June giggled. Her movements were jerky, sloppy.

When Justin shifted his stance, the floor creaked, and his father looked up. Spotting Justin standing there, he scowled fiercely.

What are you doing up? he demanded.

Justin opened his mouth, but no answer came out. June looked up and saw Justin as well.

Oh, hi Justy, she greeted.

It was the first time he had seen her smile in weeks. But for some reason, that didn’t reassure him.

June?

Go back to bed, his father growled. You’re not supposed to be up and wandering around.

I’m… going to the bathroom.

No, you’re not. Now get back to bed.

Why is June up?

I need to have a talk with June. She’s fine. Now go to sleep.

Justin stood there, uncertain, trying to sort out the bizarre situation in his mind. Nothing made sense. Are you okay, June? he asked.

Okay? she echoed in a high voice. June is ooo-kay.

Justin’s breathing was strangled. What’s wrong with June?

Nothing is wrong with June. Now are you going to go to bed, or am I going to have to take the belt to you?

His father shifted as if to get up, and Justin stepped back out of the doorway immediately. He wasn’t going to win an argument with the belt.

There was not a sound from the living room, and Justin knew that his father had not gotten up, but was listening for Justin to go back to bed. Justin walked back to his room and shut the door. He climbed back into bed and slipped under the covers. He frowned. His brain whirled. Something was wrong. But he wasn’t sure what it was.

The next morning, Justin knew as soon as he woke up that June would be sick again today. He stayed in his room, puzzling over what to do, listening for Chloe to get ready and get on her way. Then he would be able to talk to June alone. He dressed slowly, and examined himself closely in the mirror, making sure that every hair was in place. Just stalling while he waited for Chloe to leave.

Chloe pounded on his door and entered without waiting for him to say ‘come in.’ She looked at him standing in front of the mirror.

You’re such a girl, Justin! You’ll be putting on make-up next. Are you ready for school?

Justin shrugged. Is June up? he asked.

Chloe rolled her eyes. She’s playing sick again this morning. I’m telling Mom that she’s going to have to do something about that. June can’t just keep skipping school every few days.

It’s not her fault.

Oh, no? Chloe questioned. What would you know about that? She’s just faking, Justin. There’s nothing wrong with her.

Faking? When she’s puking?

So she sticks her finger down her throat. She’s not sick.

Justin frowned at Chloe. She does not!

Chloe rolled her eyes and shrugged expressively, then turned to leave. You’d better not be staying home with her, either. You’ll both get held back.

Justin didn’t say anything to this. He certainly wasn’t going to be promoted to the next grade if June was held back. He wouldn’t be separated from his twin in a different grade.

Chloe walked out. Justin waited, listening for her to finish up in the kitchen and leave. When he heard the front door close, he went to find June. She was already out of the bathroom and back in bed. He stopped in the doorway to make sure she was awake. When she opened her eyes and looked at him, he went in.

Hey, June. Sick again?

She nodded. Yeah.

He sat on the edge of the bed, and pushed her hair back from her eyes, tucking a strand behind her ear. Why were you up late last night? With Dad? I thought you went to bed when I did.

June frowned at him. I did go to bed…

And then got up again?

Her brows drew down in concentration. Maybe… I don’t remember.

You were up with Dad, Justin repeated.

June shook her head slightly. I… don’t think so. I don’t remember.

Justin was silent, looking at her face and considering this. He swallowed and pushed on. Before… you said he gave you booze, to help you sleep.

June drew a circle with her finger in the sheets beside her. Did I?

Did you have trouble sleeping last night? And he gave you something?

June was silent for a long time. Maybe. I don’t know, she said finally.

Justin thought about it. Do you get sick every time he gives it to you?

June’s brows drew down. She held a hand over her stomach, considering. Then she nodded slowly. Yeah… maybe.

Then maybe you shouldn’t drink it, Justin suggested.

June rolled over on her back and closed her eyes.

June? Justin prompted.

Daddy gives it to me. He says it will help.

But if it makes you sick…

She put her arm over her eyes. I’m going back to sleep.

Okay, Justin agreed. He got up and left her alone.

The class was working quietly on their worksheets. Mrs. Mitchell called June over to her desk in an exasperated tone. Justin glanced over at Mrs. Mitchell as June shuffled over to the desk. He kept his head down as if he wasn’t paying any attention. Mrs. Mitchell and June spoke in low voices, but Justin’s desk was right next to the teacher’s. The teachers always liked having Justin close to their desks to keep him focused on his work. But now it was June who couldn’t focus.

June, what’s going on with you lately? Mrs. Mitchell demanded, showing June the papers that she was marking.

Justin risked a glance at June. She had put on makeup before going to school, but it didn’t completely disguise the dark circles under her eyes. Her face looked much thinner these days. She pushed the hair back from her face, glancing for a moment at Justin and then back down at the worksheets.

I’m sorry, Mrs. Mitchell. I just keep making mistakes…

Do you understand what we’re doing? Walk me through one of these questions.

Justin kept his eyes on his paper, not looking back over again. June’s voice was tentative, questioning, as she tried to explain to Mrs. Mitchell how she was doing the questions. She faltered, and lost the thread several times. Then she just stood there, staring down at her hands, mute.

You’ve missed a lot of days sick lately, Mrs. Mitchell said. I know your mom sends a note, but I’m going to need a doctor’s note next time. I’m really concerned about you.

Justin swallowed, staring down at his work.

I’m sorry, June said again.

You haven’t done anything wrong. But we need to help you. Get you back on track here; you’re really falling behind. I’m going to need you to stay in at recess for tutoring to try to help you get caught back up.

Okay. June shuffled back to her own desk again.

Justin looked over at Mrs. Mitchell. She caught his eye on her and arched a questioning eyebrow. Justin went quickly back to his work again.

He didn’t usually hang out with June over recess. He was a guy and she was a girl. But he usually kept an eye out for her, was aware where she was in the playground and what she was doing. Made sure that she had friends to hang out with. Girls were so stupid about their fights sometimes. Say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and suddenly no one was your friend anymore. On those days when June was alone, alienated from her girlfriends, he tried to at least give her a smile and some encouragement.

He felt anxious with June not being out on the playground at recess. Knowing that she was struggling to wrap her mind around the schoolwork and the teacher’s explanations instead of getting a break to calm down and sort things out again. She needed a break, just like anyone else. Maybe more than anyone else.

What’s the matter, Justy? one of the older boys demanded. You worried about your girlfriend?

Justin gave Peter an angry look and didn’t rise to the bait.

What’s with her lately, anyway? Peter went on. I mean, we all know she’s a little slow, but lately she’s been such a space-cadet…

Justin didn’t wait to hear anymore. He launched himself at Peter with a snarl, smashing him in the nose before Peter even got his hands up to defend himself. There was a satisfying crack and spurt of blood. Justin got in a few more blows before they were dragged apart by a couple of schoolyard supervisors.

Justin was escorted to the principal’s office, and Peter directly to the nurse’s. Justin smiled grimly to himself. He was younger and smaller than the other boys, but Justin knew how to handle himself. He knew how to get in fast and do the damage.

That night, Mrs. Simpson came into Justin’s room to collect his supper dishes.

You need to get to bed early tonight, she told him. You’re grounded, and that means grounded to your room. No late nights, no getting up. You just stay put.

Justin rolled his eyes and didn’t agree or disagree. It wasn’t like he’d never been grounded before. He knew the house rules. His mother paused, and then handed him a blue pill. Justin looked at it with a frown.

What…?

It will help you to sleep. So you don’t wake up and wander around the house.

He took it from her slowly.

You know better than to fight, Mrs. Simpson started the interminable lecture all over again. As if he hadn’t already heard the previous two lectures since he’d gotten out of school.

I was defending June, Justin insisted again. Someone was badmouthing her, and I wasn’t gonna put up with that.

June wasn’t even there. She was kept in.

I know. But he was still making fun of her.

She let out a long sigh. Family loyalty is a good thing, she said, and you’ve always been close to June. But you can’t keep getting in trouble. I’ve already got a social worker calling me because of June having problems with the schoolwork. Like I’m a bad parent if my kid has learning problems? Now they’re going to be calling me about you getting into fights again too. You kids want to be taken away from here? Put in separate foster homes? Huh?

Justin shook his head. No.

Then you’d better behave yourselves. I don’t need social workers on my case all the time.

Justin hung his head. It was the first thing that she had said that he cared about. He didn’t care about being grounded or any of the rest of it. But the idea of being separated from June because of his fighting and other issues, that was another story. He looked after June. They couldn’t be separated.

Take the pill, Mrs. Simpson told him. Justin popped it into his mouth and finished the milk in his glass, handing it to her. Now go to bed. And stay there.

He didn’t say anything, and she left, pulling the door shut behind her. Justin spit the pill back out into his hand and slipped it into his jeans pocket. He sat on the bed, leaning against the wall, thinking about the pill, and his mother’s repeated insistence that he was to stay in his room and stay in bed.

Justin swallowed hard.

He had a feeling that June was going to have trouble sleeping again tonight.

It was late. Justin had turned out his light at the appropriate time. He had spent a lot of time standing by the door with his ear pressed against it, listening. June was still up. After a while, Justin heard his mother make her way down the hallway and into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Justin’s mouth was dry. He continued to wait. Would June refuse the alcohol like Justin had suggested, so that she wouldn’t be sick in the morning? If she did, would their father be angry? Punish June for being disobedient? Or punish Justin for suggesting it?

After a while, he could stand it no longer. He couldn’t hear what was going on. Everything was quiet. Had he missed June going to bed? Justin opened the door as silently as he could, and tiptoed down the hallway toward the living room. The TV was going, some police sirens and revving engines. There were soft noises coming from his father and June, barely audible over the noise of the TV. Justin looked around the corner. They weren’t in the easy chair like they had been the other night. They were intertwined on the couch.

Justin froze, his eyes wide, his heart pounding hard, out of control. For a moment he stood there with his fists clenched, wanting to attack, to let out a shout, to do something, but horror and fear overwhelmed him, and he just ran back to his room, tears rolling down his face, and climbed into bed, pulling the covers up over his head as if he could shut the images out.

After some time passed, he heard his father’s and mother’s voices, June’s sobs, the water running in the bathtub. And after a while, nothing else and he fell mercifully asleep.

CHAPTER

THREE

Justin woke up in the morning, feeling horribly guilty and nauseated. His chest hurt. His head hurt. His heart ached. He couldn’t believe that he had run away, that he had retreated without taking any action, without helping June at all. He felt so ashamed, he wanted to just curl up in a ball and die. He thought he might throw up, but he’d have to beat June to the bathroom, because she was bound to be sick again this morning.

He forced himself to get up and pull his clothes on, and to comb and style his hair. He put on a necklace with a black t-shirt, and studied his face for a moment. He looked tough. He hadn’t sustained much damage in the fight the day before, but there was a bruise below his eye that gave him a dangerous look, like a real gang-banger. Taking a deep breath, he left his room and went to find June.

She was still in bed, eyes closed. Chloe looked at Justin in the mirror as she did her makeup. I tried to get her up, but she won’t move. Why don’t you see what you can do?

Justin sat on the bed beside June. She was wearing a light blue, lacy nightgown. She looked so tired and frail, dark hollows below her eyes, not even partially masked by make-up. He hated to wake her.

June. June, it’s time to wake up, Justin said, shaking her arm. She didn’t stir. Justin shook harder. June! Wake up! Come on. You gotta wake up. We got school.

But he knew that she couldn’t go to school. She was too hung over. That was what it was called when you were sick the morning after drinking. TV shows always made hangovers look hilarious. But there was nothing funny about June’s hangover. Especially now that he knew what else was going on, and had been unable to act. Justin’s stomach hurt.

June! He shook her very hard, and June stirred, groaning. Wake up, Justin said loudly.

June pulled her arm out of his grip, rubbing it with the other hand. Justin saw that she had dark bruises on her upper arms from being held down. He swallowed, feeling dangerously sick. He blinked back tears.

Get her up, Chloe insisted. Mom said she’s not allowed to miss today. She has to go to school.

Justin bit his lip. He put his arm behind June’s shoulders and lifted her up into a sitting position. She swayed, but roused a little bit. Justy… she slurred.

Wake up. Come on. Time for school.

Can’t.

You’ve got to. You heard Mrs. Mitchell. She said if you missed again, you had to have a doctor’s note. And Mom said the social worker’s already on her case. Come on. Get up.

No.

Come on. Justin tried to lift her to her feet.

June moved her feet, but wasn’t able to take her weight. Whenever Justin shifted his grip, her knees buckled. He tried to walk her across the room and down the hall. They went a step or two at a time. By the time that they made it to the bathroom, June was taking her own weight, but not completely balanced.

You gotta be sick? he asked.

June moaned. Not again…

I know.

June knelt over the toilet, and Justin turned away, escaping before she could start. He went back to Chloe’s room. How are we supposed to get her to school today? he demanded.

Chloe looked at him. How do I know? Put some ice on her neck and give her some Pepto?

Justin decided it was as good an idea as any. He got some ice from the fridge and wrapped it in a towel. He returned to the bathroom, where June hunched, panting, over the toilet. Justin put the ice pack on the back of her neck. June jolted, but then held still. After a few minutes, she took it from his hand and pressed it to her forehead, and then her face.

Ooooh. How can I go to school?

I’ll get something for your stomach.

And my head?

Justin nodded. I’ll get you some Tylenol, he agreed.

They did manage to both get to school. A few minutes late, but not truant. No note required. At school, June was once again kept in for recess.

Justin took the opportunity to go talk to one of the grade six boys.

Cameron had been held back, maybe more than once, so he was probably the oldest kid in the school. He seemed amused to be talking business to a third grader, but after some persuasion, he finally took Justin seriously.

Justin told Cameron what he was looking for, and Cameron agreed to hook him up.

Justin ended recess with his spirits a little lighter, the knot in his stomach finally loosening a little.

It had been a few days. But Cameron had come through for him, faster than Justin thought that he’d be able to, so he was ready. And today Justin had seen all the signs. He knew he would have to act.

Justin told his parents that he wasn’t feeling good and was going to bed. He shut his door and shut off the light and waited, sitting on the bed. He listened to Chloe going to bed later. Eventually, his mother went to her room and shut her door. Justin looked at the clock. He had planned to wait for five minutes. Just enough time for Mr. Simpson to give June her first drink, but get no further. The seconds ticked by, dragging interminably.

Justin got up and walked across the room. He opened the door quietly. Today, he didn’t stop to peek from the living room doorway. He walked boldly in. As expected, Mr. Simpson was cuddling with June, encouraging her to drink more. Justin raised his hands to point at his father, and pulled the trigger. There was an explosion. Blood sprayed everywhere. June yelped, and pulled away. Justin kept his arms taut and steady and pulled the trigger again. Mr. Simpson’s body hit the floor with a muffled thump. Justin followed him down and shot again, and again.

There was a shrill scream. It wasn’t June. Justin knew without turning around that it was his mother. He considered whether to waste any bullets on her. She had helped her husband. Had helped him to assault June, had helped to cover it up afterward. But without him, Justin didn’t think she was a danger. He lowered the gun to his side and turned to face her.

What have you done? she screamed, her eyes wide, showing the whites all the way around. You stupid boy! What have you done?

She fumbled, picking up the cordless phone from the kitchen and trying to punch a phone number into it. She dropped it and picked it up again, but was shaking so badly that she couldn’t seem to dial the simple three digits. Justin walked up to her. She tearfully held out her hand to hold him off. Ignoring it, he plucked the phone from her other hand. He punched in 9-1-1, and handed it back again. She stared at him, and put the phone to her ear, waiting for it to connect.

Justin put the gun down on the counter next to her. He went over to June and hugged her. He held her tightly, trying to comfort her sobs, waiting for the police to come. There were no tears in his eyes tonight.

CHAPTER

FOUR

June sobbed, clinging to Justin. Everything was in confusion, and she couldn’t process what was happening. Their mom continued to shriek, yelling into the phone, yelling at Justin, yelling at June.

June clutched Justin, trying to hide from the verbal barrage. It was all June’s fault. All of it was because of her. Everything was swirling out of control, slipping from her grasp. She held on as tightly as she could to the one thing that meant the most.

Shhh, June, Justin murmured. It’s okay. It’s all over now. It’s okay. He ain’t ever gonna touch you again.

No, June sobbed.

I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you. Not ever again.

I’m sorry, June said. The alcohol in her stomach roiled and she was afraid she was going to be sick. "I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t