Please Don't Blow Up the Neighbors

By Andie Alexander

*** Book 4 in the Extreme Travel Series ***

Since Kes and James are now agents, they travel to the Philippines with their team to save kidnapped businessmen. Due to the nature of the missions, the situations get very personal for Kes in more than one way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andie Alexander
• Release date: May 29, 2015
• ISBN: 9781938350283

Andie Alexander

Andie writes mysteries and adventures, and also writes as all the author names on SweetTaleBooks.com. Writing is escapism, at its finest.See more at http://www.AndieAlexander.com

Book preview

Chapter 1

"Kes!"

I all but jumped out of my seat when I heard my name yelled from far away. I must’ve dozed off or something, because the boring first speaker in the lecture hall was gone. My friend and coworker, Ben, stood in front of the entire auditorium with a microphone, looking right at me. I slinked down into my seat and he laughed. I hated working for the CIA just then. This was a required seminar for new recruits, entitled, ‘The Magic of Distraction.’ If I’d known Ben was speaking, I’d have faked a headache.

No, Kes, Ben said. I need you, right now.

It figured we’d be stuck with model-adorable Ben. He was a gorgeous agent, blond hair, blue eyes, and a killer white smile. He also liked to flirt a lot, especially with me.

Every person in the giant filled auditorium turned to see me. I hated Ben for this. He was going to buy me the biggest and most expensive dinner for making me die in front of everyone.

My cheeks heated up. Where?

Up here, Kes. Now.

I stood up and gave my best ‘save me’ look to my husband, James, who sat beside me. He shrugged as if to say, ‘you’re on your own and I’m glad it’s not me.’ I wasn’t getting out of this anytime soon.

I straightened my outfit and walked the plank to the stage. As soon as I got there, I gave Ben the ‘don’t mess with me’ glare and stood with my arms folded.

See this? Ben picked up my long, wavy, dark red hair in his hand. Huge distraction, especially in places where they don’t normally have red hair. He held my chin and turned it toward the crowd. Green eyes. Not normal.

I shot him the dirtiest look possible, making him chuckle. He stood back and held his chin as he checked me out. Nice body, too. A little flat-chested, but you can’t have it all.

I put my hands on my hips and watched him with my mouth agape. That little…

Ben stifled a laugh and talked to the huge chuckling audience again. This lady has done amazing things with distraction. She has it down to a science and has proven it time and time again, even before she’d trained to be an agent. She was the inspiration for my book. I’d like to have her demonstrate some of the things she’s done in the past. You might want to take notes, because she’s a natural.

I looked toward James, who’d hidden far down in his chair with his face hidden by his hands. He probably felt like I did, terrified for what was to come.

Standing about five or six inches taller than my height, James Hamilton was very handsome, with compassionate and sexy light blue eyes and medium brown hair framing his face. His beautiful white smile and high cheekbones gave him a model-like glow. With his sexy slightly British accent, his muscular six-pack abs, and his very caring personality added into the mix, I’d married someone who should’ve been in the movies or on the front cover of a magazine. It didn’t hurt that James was independently wealthy from all the businesses he’d started or inherited, including the biggest newspaper in Denver. Even so, we got along really well, but also knew how to push each other’s buttons. With his newly obtained doctoral degree in psychology, he thought he could counsel anyone. I was probably his only failure, because I played with his head. Even though we’d only been married for four months, I figured it was my right to play with his head a bit. It kept things interesting.

James, Ben yelled. Bring Kes her purse.

James took a deep breath and grabbed my purse. He walked up to the stage, handed me the purse, and headed back for the stairs.

Ben ran to James’ side and directed him back to center stage, right beside me. Oh, no, my friend. You’re up here with us.

I turned toward James. Do you want to kill him now or later? I said it loudly enough for everyone to hear. The audience laughed. I even saw our big boss, Wilson, hiding a grin.

Now, Kes, dear, relax, Ben said into the microphone. I promise this won’t hurt. He looked out to the audience and put his hand to the side of his mouth. We’re actually really good friends.

Not for long, I said. There was laughter again.

Ben shot me a dirty look. Anyway, here’s how this works. Distraction is like the magician who can fool you into seeing one thing when they’re doing something else behind your back. Let’s take an example here. Kes, I need a sleazy woman.

I raised my eyebrows and lowered my gaze down over him. Sounds like a personal problem.

Laughter rang throughout the auditorium. I was pushing my luck, but so was my good old buddy, Ben.

Ben shook his head while clutching the mic with white knuckles. I guessed he was probably trying to control his anger, but he smiled anyway.

No, Kes, he said. I need you to look sleazy and I need it in less than five minutes.

Of all things to choose for me to do. I hung my head.

What’s wrong? Ben asked me.

I looked up slightly. This is really embarrassing. Do you know that?

That’s funny. You weren’t embarrassed when you did it before on various occasions. Should I name a few?

I couldn’t believe he’d tell my secrets. I wasn’t proud of some things I’d done in the past, but knew I’d gotten the job done and saved a few lives. Ben…

He laughed. He was such a joker but I wasn’t amused.

Fine, I murmured. Are you ready to time me?

Sure. He pulled a stopwatch out of his pocket and I waited until he set it to zero. Why he had it was anyone’s guess. I just figured he’d use his watch, but no, Ben had to be ultra-prepared for such a thing. Go.

I removed my jacket and unbuttoned part of my blouse, and then pulled the blouse up and tied it in a knot under my bust line. I raised my hem by turning under the top of my skirt, and then opened my purse and pulled out a mirror. I applied blush, mascara, and lipstick to the max, so it would be very apparent. I fluffed up my hair and looked at Ben. Done.

No, you’re not. I want the bra off, too.

Ben. No, I whined, with my hands falling to my side.

James, my dutiful husband, smiled and crossed his arms. Do what the man says.

Oh, man. I pulled my arms out of my sleeves and took the straps off from my bra, under my blouse. I put my arms back in and undid the bra in the back. I laid it on the table with my jacket and turned to Ben. Do you want anything else off, too?

Well, now that you say it… He glanced at my annoyed face, and then checked his stopwatch. No, that was great. Doesn’t she look sleazy? And in only two minutes and twelve seconds, too.

The men in the audience clapped while the women took notes, like this was something special.

Oh, brother.

~~~~~

Chapter 2

"Now that you’re sleazy, Ben said. I want you both to show the audience what you’d do to distract a whole room of men. Use the robbery angle like what you did at the police station in Mexico. He looked out into the audience and grinned. I need about six men up here to demonstrate this."

Every single male hand in the place went up. Ben chose six big men to join us on stage before he turned to James. I need to do something behind their back but I don’t want them to know it. Do you follow me?

He nodded with a grin. Done it before. For some reason, James’ accent hit me in the heart. I could’ve swooned right there.

I needed to focus. What’s the exact setting and what do you need to do?

You always need a cause, don’t you? Ben muttered.

It’s my personality. Get used to it. I’d just about had it with Ben by this point.

All right, these men are crooked police officers and are sitting in the police station. Your three battered friends are being held in the jail in the back and will be killed if we don’t rescue them. Altruistic enough for you, Kes?

Yep, I said. Been there, done that.

James took his wallet out of his pocket and slipped it down my blouse. His hands were warm and I suddenly decided that just being a housewife wasn’t that bad after all. We could certainly afford it and I really didn’t have to work.

Everyone chuckled as he fixed the wallet in my blouse.

James turned to them. Don’t worry. We’re married.

Ben looked at his six men and brought out enough chairs for them to sit in. You’re all police officers, and I want you to be at work and ignoring them. After that, I want you to act normally. He moved a table in front of the police officers to represent the front counter at a police station.

James took my arm and dragged me into the police station. Leave me alone, I screamed.

I’d like to report a robbery, James said. This woman, and I use the term loosely—

Hey, watch it, Buster. I pointed toward James but focused on the men in front of me. He attacked me. He thought I was a hooker and wanted to proposition me.

James crossed his arms. I most certainly did not. I’m a minister. If my congregation heard about this, I’d be laughed out of my church.

I pulled away from him but he grabbed me from behind. I let him do it, too, playing the helpless thief.

James reached down into my blouse and pulled out his wallet. What have we here?

I wiggled to get away. Rape! This man is trying to rape me!

Stop, Ben said, standing behind the men. All of us froze. If you notice, this is loud. Your main goal is to make everyone turn toward you. You want to make them not look at what’s really going on somewhere else. Also, if you’re afraid someone is going to get bored, play the sex card. When she yelled ‘rape,’ everyone stared at her. You have to distract to get everyone to look at you so you can use your magic to hide what’s really going on.

He moved behind the six men. I’m back here, rescuing the agents, and they have no idea what’s going on. Eventually, to buy more time, the couple could start a fistfight, divide up and make more police officers come to each of them for aid, or even shoot one of the police officers. Anything to buy time for the real mission.

I looked out into the audience and they were glued to the stage. I figured it was more interesting than what the first speaker had been droning on about.

Ben continued. Here’s another one everyone could do. He looked at me with a grin. Kes, don’t be so sleazy. This is a business, after all.

I glared at him and he winked. I undid my sleaziness, put my bra back on, and rubbed off my makeup.

That’s better. You’d think your family would’ve raised you to be more respectable. Everyone laughed at him.

I put my hands on my hips. He had it coming when this was over, no doubt about it.

Ben continued and moved the table away. This time, James and I are going to take on six men who are in a room. He pointed to the men still on the stage. They’ve kidnapped seven people who are all sitting on the floor of a cruise ship. The kidnapped people are also bound and gagged, so they can’t help. Kes is the distraction and she has a dart gun. He looked at me. Remember this one?

I couldn’t believe it. You weren’t even there.

You’re right but do it anyway. I’ve heard stories.

I sighed and put my hands together as if I was going to shoot. This is my gun, and I’m going to enter the room.

Ben leaned over, whispering into the microphone. She doesn’t like to shoot.

I gave him a nasty look and continued with my fingers held up like I had a gun. I acted like I’d entered the room full of the seated men.

Who’s in charge here? I shouted with my gun drawn.

Ben tapped one of the men on the shoulder and whispered into his ear, and then whispered to the others as well.

I am, the man said to me as he stood. Who are you?

I’m here to take over the ship. I want you all on your knees and begging me for your lives.

Really? he asked. You’re a big bad woman, aren’t you?

The other five men headed toward me, but I held my ground.

I trained my ‘gun’ on the first man, and said, Boom, shooting him in the leg. He went down.

That’s our cue, Ben said. He and James came up from behind and ‘shot’ the remaining men.

Everyone clapped. This was all very simple. I didn’t understand why they were so easily impressed.

See why she’s so good at this? Ben said. Not only does she have the look, she has the talent. She even can play different roles.

I saw where he was heading for this part. Ruby?

He nodded. We created a movie producer named Ruby on one trip and she stole the show. She was obnoxious, rude, and very bossy. Kes was a natural for it.

I shot him a dirty look, making him laugh.

Ben continued. Let me demonstrate. He had me sit in the chair beside the table. Ruby, act drunk.

Bennie, baby, can you get me another drink? I leaned up to the table and rested my head on my hand with a stupid grin. I acted drunk and almost fell over. I want a drink, now! Why can’t these lackeys who work for me do what I want them to do?

Laughter erupted in the room.

Ben continued. We got Ruby ‘drunk’… he used his ‘quotey’ fingers, …and had her trip over the mark and pour alcohol on him so we could get him to the bathroom and kidnap him. He had no idea it was coming. Sometimes, it takes as little as that. Whatever you do, make sure you all know your roles and your distracter is always backed up. In no way do you want your distracter to be on their own, even if it means saving them at the last minute.

Ben looked over toward my darling husband. James, you’re done. Don’t forget, dinner’s on me tonight.

James ran to the stairs and was in his seat before I could even blink. He’d left me alone with rotten Ben?

I turned toward my tormentor, still beside me on the stage. What about me?

Ben chuckled. You can pay for your own dinner.

Laughter erupted from the audience again as I rolled my eyes.

I was so out of there. Thanks for nothing. I grabbed my purse and headed for the stairs, as well.

Wait just a minute. He ran over to me and grabbed my shoulders, directing me back to the stage. I have another job for you.

Uh-oh. I put my purse on my shoulder and crossed my arms.

Ben addressed the crowd. For all of you men, here’s a really good one. I call it ‘sexual intimidation.’

I took a deep breath, knowing exactly what was coming next.

Here’s how to do it, Ben said. "Normal flirtation behavior is to glance at someone and glance away, and then glance back. That’s it in a nutshell. It makes them know you’re interested but you don’t want them to jump all over you. I’ve taken that idea to the next level. What if I did want them to jump all over me, and even challenged them to do it? What would they do?"

I hid my face in my hands, peeking between them to see what was going on.

Ben laughed and turned toward the audience. She knows what’s coming next. Some women can’t handle that type of flirtation and even have resorted to be conditioned by my presence. Here’s an example.

No, I yelled from behind my hands.

Kes, I need you one more time, and you know what this is about. Show these fine people what I can do to you, please?

Egotist, I whispered to his immediate chuckle. I removed my hands and shot him a dirty look. I’ll do it, but I’m an unwilling participant. It’s one thing to make me undress, but when you undress me with your eyes, that’s a bit much.

Everyone laughed at me again.

Play nice, Ben warned. Now, just stand here and don’t do anything.

I crossed my arms and tapped my foot. Ben put his arm around me and got very close to my face. Come here often?

What a pickup line. I almost rolled my eyes, but he was using ‘the look’ and I couldn’t resist it. I tried like crazy, but it worked every time. My cheeks felt hot and I turned away. He walked to my other side, amidst titters from the audience. Kes, don’t turn away from me. You know better. He stared at me with ‘the Ben curse,’ and I closed my eyes. I was sure I appeared beet red because I could feel the heat in my cheeks. Everyone laughed at me.

Ben caressed my cheek and leaned closer to my ear, the big flirt. Open your eyes, please?

I listened and shot him a dirty look. He stared at me with those direct and flirty eyes. I couldn’t stop myself, and lifted my hand to fan myself, breathing heavily.

That’s great. Ben turned toward everyone else in the room. See how it’s done? It’s the flirtation look that starts it. With close proximity, it doubles the effect. Whenever she sees me now, it’s an automatic response for her to fan herself. If I would kiss her hand, it’s doubly distracting, giving me time to do anything I wanted behind her back.

He pulled on my arms from where I’d re-crossed them. He then took one of my hands and held it, forcing me to look away.

Over here, he practically sang to me.

I hated this. I knew what he was going to do. I glanced toward him and he gave me ‘the look’ while he kissed my hand. I immediately fanned myself, blew out a huge breath, and tried not to fall over. It was hypnotizing.

I took a deep breath. Are you done showing off now?

Yes, I am. He put his arm over my shoulders, lowered the mic to his side, and moved close to my ear with his other hand beside his mouth. We have another mission for you and James. Let him know about it.

I sighed and nodded, and then trudged off the stage to applause. With a glance around the room, I saw nearly a dozen women fanning themselves with their handouts. He really was good.

Ben talked about his book for another five minutes and we were excused. As soon as I stood up, four women approached us.

How do you handle him? the first woman asked. He’s very sexy.

Can you get me his number? the second asked.

The third woman stood beside me, watching Ben. She fanned herself with a manila folder, making a huge wind blow my hair. It made me sick.

The last one was at James’ side, asking him out. I grabbed his arm and made myself intervene in the conversation.

They finally left, and many other men in the room greeted me, thanked me, and basically wanted my phone number. I clung onto James once again and grinned to be nice, but stayed away from all of them.

As soon as everyone finally left us alone, I collected my things. Just as we turned to leave, Wilson and another man approached us.

Kes, James, Wilson said. I want to congratulate you on a job well done. You’re both fine agents. We’re glad to have you on our team.

Thank you, sir, we both said.

He motioned toward the man who stood beside him. This is one of our own and we call him Herb. He’s very high up and has a mission for both of you.

But sir, we’re not quite done with our training yet, James said.

Wilson blew out a breath, as if irritated about something. As of right now, you’re done. You’ve both fulfilled everything you need for this mission, because it’s of the utmost importance and I want the best of the best on it.

James and I glanced at each other. I swallowed hard. The best of the best? Us?

Thank you, sir, we each said.

Wilson nodded, but appeared frustrated. I’d like to see both of you in my office in five minutes.

Yes, sir, we both said at the same time.

That was weird.

~~~~~

Chapter 3

As soon as the two men left, James and I headed toward the exit. Ben ran between us just as we reached the door. He put a hand on each of our shoulders while we continued down the hallway.

I turned toward him. Ben, we’re going to a meeting and we’re going to be late.

I’m going to the same meeting, he said.

I stopped dead in my tracks. You’re serious?

Yep. Same meeting. I was going to mention it over dinner, but I see Wilson wants you in on the NTK stuff.

NTK meant ‘on a need-to-know’ basis. I was finally in the know, even though I’d have to deal with Ben, the giant flirt.

I turned toward James. Shoot me. Put me out of my misery.

Ben pushed his way between James and me. He then put his arm over my shoulder, leaning toward my ear. You love it and you know it.

Knock it off. I stepped to the left side of James and wrapped my arm around his waist. Ben joined me on my left side. He just had to be beside me.

You don’t understand, Ben said. We’re partners again.

I stopped all of us in the hallway outside Wilson’s office. What?

That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. The three of us are going to be partners again. James, you’re the perfect straight man. You make her act believable. Kes, you’re the consummate actress, and I, well I wrote the book on distractions. Literally. We’re the perfect team.

What about some other agents as well, to tone you down a bit? I fanned myself again.

Two of the male class participants passed by and doubled over in laughter as they stared at me. James held my hand down at my side while I lowered my head in embarrassment.

Ben glanced at my hand with a grin. We’ll have others, because they don’t want to send you out on your own just yet. You really need backup for this one, anyway.

Where? I asked him.

Just wait and see. I don’t even have all the details yet.

We all entered Wilson’s huge office and Ben told the secretary we were there. She ushered us into a large conference room next to Wilson’s small office, where three other people I didn’t recognize were already seated at the table. We sat down and I glanced at each of them. I didn’t think they’d all been at the seminar because they didn’t seem to be new recruits.

Wilson and the other man, Herb, entered the room last. They both sat at the head of the table.

Wilson began the meeting. Everything discussed here is classified and isn’t to leave the room. He glanced at the man to his right. This man’s name is Herbert. He’s been working undercover overseas for a long time now. We have a mission that has just come to our attention in the past 24 hours.

Wilson stared at all of us with a very solemn expression. I glanced toward Ben and he winked at me. I had no idea what was up his sleeve, but this wasn’t the time.

Wilson continued. "I’m going to introduce everyone around the table by their first name