Before I Wake

By Rachel Vincent

I died on a Thursday – killed by a monster intent on stealing my soul. The good news? He didn't get it. The bad news? Turns out not even death will get you out of high school…

Covering up her own murder was one thing, but faking life is much harder than Kaylee Cavanaugh expected. After weeks spent 'recovering,' she's back in school, fighting to stay visible to the human world, struggling to fit in with her friends and planning time alone with her new reaper boyfriend. But to earn her keep in the human world, Kaylee must reclaim stolen souls, and when her first assignment brings her face–to–face with an old foe, she knows the game has changed. Her immortal status won't keep her safe. And this time Kaylee isn't just gambling with her own life…

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Australia
• Release date: Jul 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781460804728

Rachel Vincent

Rachel Vincent is the New York Times bestselling author of several pulse-pounding series for teens and adults. A former English teacher and a champion of the serial comma, Rachel has written more than twenty novels and remains convinced that writing about the things that scare her is the cheapest form of therapy. Rachel shares her home in Oklahoma with two cats, two teenagers, and her husband, who’s been her number one fan from the start. You can find her online at rachelvincent.com and on Twitter @rachelkvincent.

Book preview

1

I WAS A virgin sacrifice. And yeah, it’s just as creepy as it sounds. I died on a Thursday, at twenty-seven minutes after midnight, killed by a monster intent on stealing my soul. The good news? He didn’t get it. The bad news? Turns out not even death will get you out of high school… .

* * *

I’ve always hated Mondays, but this particular Monday, a beautiful day in late April, seemed ready to deliver its very own brand of hell. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror at seven-thirty in the morning, staring at myself, trying to decide exactly how alive I should look. In the movies, people are always faking their own deaths, but I couldn’t think of anyone else—real or fictional—who’d faked survival. I’d have to blaze this trail all on my own.

How pale would a person look twenty-nine days after being stabbed to death? That would depend on the severity of the wound, right? On the number of organs injured? On the amount of blood lost? Since no one at school knew any of those details, they wouldn’t know if my performance was off. So I could play the part however I wanted. Right?

No one had to know that my pale skin and sweaty palms were really the result of a colossal case of first-day-back nerves.

My stomach churned as I stared at my reflection, wondering how I could possibly feel so different, yet look exactly the same as I had before I died, except for the new scar. Exactly the same as I would look next year, and the year after that, and a decade after that, and for as many centuries as my afterlife lasted.

Kaylee! Breakfast! my father called from the kitchen.

I’m dead, Dad, I called back, dropping my hairbrush into the drawer. I don’t eat anymore.

A minute later, my father appeared in the doorway in a grease-splattered T-shirt and jeans, frowning at me. "You don’t have to eat. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I think you’d feel a lot better if you had something warm in your stomach."

I turned and leaned against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. That’s not really how it works.

No arguments. I made pancakes and bacon. I want you at the table in five minutes.

I sighed as his footsteps retreated toward the kitchen. He was trying. I wasn’t sure what he was trying, but he was serious about it.

I crossed the hall into my room for a pair of shoes and blinked in surprise at the empty space at the center of my room, where the bed used to be. It had been four weeks since we’d gotten rid of the ruined mattress and sheets, and I still wasn’t used to the new purple quilt that had replaced the blue comforter my psychotic math teacher had bled out on.

After my death, I’d avoided my room for nearly a week until my father figured out what I’d been too embarrassed to tell him—that I couldn’t go in there without seeing it all in my head. Reliving my own death.

That night, he and Tod had rearranged every piece of furniture I owned until my room was unrecognizable. That was three weeks ago, and I still couldn’t get used to seeing my bed against the wall, my desk slanted across one corner of the room. But this time when I glanced into that corner, I couldn’t help but smile.

Tod sat in my desk chair, his curls golden in the glow from my bedside lamp, his eyes as blue as the ocean, the one time I’d seen it. Styx was curled up on my bed, asleep, paying the reaper no attention whatsoever. Half Pomeranian, half Netherworld guard dog, she was the fiercest, most dangerous six pounds of frizzy fur and pointy teeth I’d ever seen, other than her littermates. She was also a living, breathing, growling security system, bred to warn me when danger approached on either side of the world barrier.

It had taken her weeks to understand that growling at Tod wasn’t going to get rid of him.

Tod’s brother—my ex—was wrestling with that same conclusion.

Tod stood as soon as he saw me, and I couldn’t resist a smile, in spite of the nerves still twisting my insides into knots.

My arms slid around his neck and delicious, tiny little sparks shot up my spine as his hand settled at my waist, and I secretly marveled at the fact that I was allowed to touch him whenever I wanted.

This was still new, me and Tod. Our relationship was only a month old, yet somehow, he was the only thing that still seemed to fit, since my death. Going through the motions in the rest of my life—an ironic term, if I’d ever heard one—now felt like trying to fit into clothes I’d outgrown. Everything was uncomfortable, and too tight, and not as bright as I remembered.

But Tod was the same. Only better.

Aren’t you supposed to be at work? Eventually Levi’s going to notice that you keep skipping out, I said when I finally had to let him go. Levi, his boss, had a soft spot for Tod, but in their line of work, leniency could only go so far. Tod was a reaper—more than two and a half years dead, but perpetually nearly eighteen. He worked the midnight-to-noon shift at the local hospital, reaping the souls of those scheduled to die on his watch.

Except when he was delivering pizza. And helping me pretend I was still alive.

I had a break and I thought you might be nervous this morning. So I brought you this. He handed me a paper cup of coffee, and I took a cautious sip. Caramel latte. My favorite, and the only edible thing I still seemed to crave since my unfortunate demise. And this. He spread his arms, showing off a physique even death couldn’t mar, and I wanted to touch him some more. Then some more after that. I figure one or the other will make you feel better.

Both. They both make me feel better. I pulled him close for a kiss, then didn’t want to let him go. I don’t wanna go back to school today.

So don’t. Come hang out with me at work. Tod dropped back into my desk chair and swiveled to face me while I knelt to grab my sneakers from beneath my bed. We can play naughty dress up with the hospital gowns and rearrange the supply closets.

Isn’t that dangerous? What if they can’t find some important drug or equipment in an emergency?

Tod shrugged. Nobody’s gonna die without my help, anyway, so what’s the harm?

The harm? Potential brain damage. Paralysis. And all kinds of other nonlethal catastrophes. Fortunately, his grin said he was kidding, so I didn’t have to go through with the lecture.

Kaylee! my dad shouted, and Tod sniffed in the direction of the hall.

Is that bacon?

And pancakes. I shoved my foot into the sneaker and tugged on the laces to tighten it. He thinks I should start my first day back at school with a healthy breakfast. I think he’s been spending too much time with your mom. In addition to being an amazing amateur baker, Harmony Hudson was the only fellow female bean sidhe I knew.

It’s not a bad idea, Tod said. Breakfast is my third favorite meal of the day.

Not today. Standing, I tugged him closer so I could slide my hand behind his neck, my fingers playing in the soft curls that ended there. I think he needs some father-daughter time.

As grateful as my father was for everything Tod had done to try to save my life, he’d had his fill of houseguests for a while. Tod and I had spent nearly every waking moment together since my death, and for two people who didn’t need sleep, that was a lot of moments, even with his jobs and my training standing in the way.

Oh, fine. Enjoy your pancakes and homework.

Thanks. Enjoy your sick people. Will I see you at lunch?

The blues in his irises swirled like cobalt flames, and something deep inside me smoldered. You’ll be the only one who sees me. You don’t need to eat, anyway, right?

"Oh, now I don’t need to eat… ."

He pulled me close again, and that kiss was longer, deeper. Hotter. Touching Tod made me feel more alive than anything else had since the moment my heart stopped beating.

"Kaylee, please come eat something!" my dad yelled, and Tod groaned in frustration. He held me tighter for just a second, then stepped back and let his hand trail down my arm slowly. Then he was gone, and for a moment, I felt empty.

That was a scary moment, but one I couldn’t quite shake. I’d thought that being dead-but-still-there would feel a lot like being alive, but I was wrong. I felt like I was out of sync with the world. Like the planet had kept spinning while I was gone, and now that I was back, I couldn’t catch up.

I grabbed my latte and headed for the kitchen, where I dropped into my chair at the card table we’d been meaning to replace with a real one since my dad had moved back to town seven months ago. The plate in front of me held four pancakes and—I swear—half a pound of bacon. Fried, not microwaved, as evidenced by the grease splattered all over the stove and adjacent countertop. My dad was serious about this traditional home-life thing.

It was kinda cute.

My father pulled out his own chair and started to hand me one of the coffee mugs he held, but then he noticed the latte, and his smile slipped a little. Tod?

Yeah, but he’s gone. He was just trying to help.

He set both mugs in front of his own plate and picked up his fork. I’m going to assume the steaming cup of Starbucks means he wasn’t here all night?

Translation: Your undead boyfriend is supposed to be gone by eleven so you can pretend to sleep.

He works nights, Dad. But we both knew that didn’t mean anything, when the commute was instantaneous.

For the first couple of days after my death, my father had tried to stay up all night to make sure there were no unauthorized visits, and I didn’t bother to point out how futile his efforts were. If Tod and I didn’t want to be seen or heard, we wouldn’t be. Both reapers and extractors—my official new title with the reclamation department—had selective visibility, audibility, and corporeality. Basically, we could choose who saw and heard us, and whether or not we existed physically on the human plane.

Sounds cool, I know, but it comes with a hell of a price.

My dad set his fork down and I caught a rare glimpse of the concern swirling in his eyes. I’m worried about you, Kaylee.

Don’t be. Nothing’s changed. But that wasn’t true, and even if it had been, it wouldn’t have set him at ease. My life wasn’t exactly normal before I died, and death had done nothing to improve that.

You don’t eat. You hardly ever talk anymore, and I haven’t seen you watch TV or pick up a book in days. I walk into your room, and half the time you’re not there, even when you’re there.

I’m working on that, I mumbled, swirling a bite of pancake in a puddle of syrup. Corporeality is harder than it looks. It takes practice. And concentration.

Are you sure you’re ready for school? We could give it another week. But he seemed to regret the words as soon as he’d said them. Another week off would mean another week of me sitting around the house doing nothing when I wasn’t training as an extractor, and that’s what was worrying him in the first place.

I need to go. They all know today’s the day.

They were my teachers, classmates, and the local television stations. I was big news—the girl who’d survived being stabbed by her own math teacher. My father had stopped answering the home phone, and we’d had to change my cell number when someone leaked it to the press. They all wanted to know what it was like to nearly die. To kill the man who’d tried to kill me. They wanted to know how I’d survived.

None of them could ever know the truth—that I hadn’t survived. That was part of the deal—allowing me to live my afterlife like my murder had never happened. Protecting my secret meant keeping up with schoolwork and work-work, in addition to my new duties extracting souls from those who shouldn’t have them.

If anything goes wrong, I want you to call me, my father said, and I nodded. I wasn’t going to tell him that if anything went wrong, I could blink out of school and into my own room before he could even get to his car in the parking lot at work. He knew that. He was just trying to help and to stay involved, and I loved him for it. For that, and for the pancakes, even if I had no real desire to eat them.

We both sipped our coffee, and I noticed that his appetite seemed to have disappeared, too. Then he set his mug down and picked up a strip of bacon. You know, I’ve been thinking about this Friday… . He left the sentence hanging while he took a bite.

What’s this Friday? I asked, and my father frowned.

Your birthday, Kaylee.

For a moment, I could only blink at him, mentally denying the possibility, while I counted the days in my head. Time had lost all meaning over the past month. Tod said that was normal—something about absent circadian rhythms—but it didn’t seem possible that I could have forgotten my own birthday.

I’m turning seventeen… I whispered.

Except that I wasn’t. The anniversary of my birth would come and go, but I’d still be sixteen and eleven-twelfths. I’d be sixteen and eleven-twelfths forever—at least physically. I would always look too young to vote. Too young to drink. Too young to drive a rental car, should that urge ever strike. And none of those limitations had ever seemed more pointless. What did it matter?

What did any of it matter, anymore?

So, who do you want to invite to the party? My dad picked up his mug and sipped, waiting for my answer.

I frowned. I don’t want a party. Very few people knew I hadn’t really lived, and of those, Nash and Sabine—my ex and his ex—currently hated me for framing Nash for my murder. I’d had no choice, and I’d accepted the duties of my afterlife mostly to unframe Nash—if I wasn’t dead, he couldn’t have killed me. But I couldn’t blame him for hating me.

Still, even if Nash and Sabine both came, there wouldn’t be enough of my real friends to constitute a party, and I didn’t want to have to talk to anyone else.

So, what do you usually do on your birthday? He didn’t know the answer to his own question because he’d left me with my aunt and uncle—his brother—after my mother died. I’d only had him back for seven months.

He regretted leaving me—I knew that for a fact—and that regret was infinitely heavier for him, now that I was dead.

Em and I usually rent movies and binge on junk food. But that wouldn’t work this year. I’d never had a boyfriend on my birthday before, and I’d never had a father on my birthday before. And I’d certainly never been dead on my birthday before.

My dad looked so disappointed I wanted to hug him. So I did the next best thing. Fine. A party. But a small one. Friends and family only.

He gave me half a smile. Decorations?

No. But you can get a cake. Chocolate, with cream cheese frosting. And I get a corner slice. If my appetite ever came back, I planned to eat whatever the hell I wanted, for the rest of my afterlife. Calories mean nothing to the dead. And I wouldn’t turn down a couple of presents.

Done. He gave me a real smile that time, and I was relieved to see it. I’m sorry I missed all the other birthdays, Kay.

I shrugged. You didn’t miss much.

My dad opened his mouth to protest, but before he could speak, a tall woman in a brown suit skirt appeared in the kitchen in sensible low heels, her short brown hair perfectly arranged. Jeez, Madeline. My dad half choked, then gulped from his mug to clear his throat. Ever hear of knocking?

Madeline raised one perfectly arched brow at him. Mr. Cavanaugh, I’m doing you a courtesy by letting you see and hear me at all. If that isn’t good enough for you, I can appear to Kaylee alone.

Madeline was my boss in the reclamation department—she was the one who’d okayed the cover-up that hid my death and kept Nash from going down for my murder. She was also the only department member I’d met so far. My dad didn’t like her. She hadn’t bothered to form an opinion of him one way or another.

It’s fine. Would you like some coffee? He held up the untouched mug he’d fixed for me.

This is not a social visit, Mr. Cavanaugh. Madeline turned to me, arms crossed over her white blouse. Kaylee, there’s some question about whether or not you’re ready to begin work on your own as an extractor. Four weeks is a rather short training period, we admit, but the soul thief you were restored to deal with has killed again, and we can’t let this continue if there’s any chance you’re ready to take him or her on now.

A dull knot of fear blossomed deep in my stomach and I fed it with doubts about my own abilities because I knew I should be scared. I would be, if not for the pervasive numbness that settled deeper into me with each day of my afterlife.

Wait a minute—who is this thief, and why does Kaylee have to be the one to stop him? No one ever bothered to explain that to me. After all, I’m just her father.

Madeline focused her steely stare at him. "We don’t know who or what the thief is, Mr. Cavanaugh. That’s part of what we need Kaylee to find out. But we’ve already lost two agents chasing him, and frankly, because she is a bean sidhe, Kaylee is our best bet at the moment."

I was far from sure I could actually do what she wanted, but I couldn’t find any flaw in her logic. As a female bean sidhe, in life, I’d been a death portent. When someone near me was close to death, I got the overwhelming need to wail for the departing soul. But what that wail really did was suspend the soul. Capture it. With the help of a male bean sidhe—Tod, Nash, my uncle, and my dad all qualified—I could reinstate that soul and save the life of its owner. But at great cost. To preserve the balance between life and death, when one life was saved, another would be taken.

Madeline had brought me back from the dead and recruited me in hopes that my bean sidhe abilities would help me succeed where the other extractors had failed. I desperately hoped she was right, because the alternative was the end to my afterlife. A final rest, as she called it.

And you want me to do this today? Face this thief? That fear inside me swelled until I felt cold on the inside, like ice was forming in my stomach.

No. We don’t know the thief’s current whereabouts. But we need to know you’re ready whenever we find him, so today is a trial run, to see how you perform on your own.

But the target is real? my father asked, and I was starting to wonder if I even needed to be here for this discussion of my afterlife.

Very real. Madeline met my gaze. Our necromancer has pinpointed a reaper Levi can’t identify, which means this reaper isn’t from his district. Tod’s boss was familiar enough with his own employees to recognize their restored souls from a distance. We suspect he’s a rogue and we think he’ll strike very soon. When that happens, I’ll come for you, and you will go extract the stolen soul from him. Do you understand?

No. In fact, I wanted to curl up in my bed and hide under the covers. If you know he’s there, why not go get him now?

Because he hasn’t stolen any souls yet.

So you’re just going to let someone die?

Madeline scowled. If we were to apprehend him now, we’d never know for sure the reaper is a rogue and we’d lose this opportunity to see you in action, on your own. Whatever life this reaper takes doesn’t outweigh our opportunity to stop the thief you were restored to deal with. To put it in terms you’ll understand, that’s like swatting a fly, but letting the hornet live.

Those aren’t terms I understand! What if yours was the life he was going to take? I shoved my plate away and stood. I’d found something else that could beat back the numbness—anger. Who are you to decide what one life is worth?

I am your boss. Madeline didn’t even raise her voice, and it irritated me to realize she wasn’t as upset about this as I was. She wasn’t upset at all. This serial soul thief is much more dangerous than a single rogue reaper, which makes the reaper an ideal trial run for you. Especially considering that we can track the reaper, thanks to our new necromancer.

A necromancer, I’d recently learned, was someone who could see and communicate with the dead. Only see isn’t a precise term. It’s more of a sense than true sight. Though in my case, the literal interpretation also applied—a necromancer could see and hear me, even when I made myself invisible and inaudible to everyone else.

When am I going to meet this necromancer?

Today, Madeline said. He started class at your school last week, and since it seems likely that the two of you will run into each other, we’d like you to keep an eye on him.

Your necromancer is a teenager?

I believe he’s in his junior year.

Is he alive? my father asked. He thought the dead-to-living ratio of my friends and coworkers was high enough already.

Both alive and human, Mr. Cavanaugh. He’s also a very polite young man.

They’re gonna eat him alive, I mumbled, and my father chuckled. Fine, I’ll keep an eye out for your necromancer, but I can’t promise that associating with me will do him any favors, socially.

Thank you, Kaylee, Madeline said, and I glanced up in surprise over the courtesy. Not that Madeline was ever truly rude, she just wasn’t very…personable. I’ll find you when and if this reaper turns out to be a rogue.

With that Madeline disappeared, and my father sighed. So much for a normal first day back.

I dipped a strip of bacon in a pool of syrup. Dad, I can count the number of normal school days I’ve had this year on one hand.

I know. I’m sorry about that. He sipped from his mug, and I shrugged, but before I could reply, Madeline appeared in the kitchen again, and this time I nearly choked. Change your mind about the coffee? my dad asked, but she only shook her head.

The reaper made a kill. It’s time to earn your keep, Kaylee.

I swallowed the bite I’d nearly choked on then stood, nerves buzzing in my stomach like I’d devoured a swarm of flies, even though I knew what to do. I’d been practicing for a month. But… I have to be in first period in twenty minutes.

Then work fast. Madeline reached into the pocket of her suit jacket and pulled out what looked like a handful of metal, which she held out for me to take. I lifted what turned out to be a heart-shaped locket on a gold chain. It was pretty, in a sweet, dated kind of way.

It’s heavy. I frowned, trying to slide my fingernail into the edge seam. And it doesn’t open.

That’s because it’s not a locket. It’s an amphora. This will hold the soul after you capture it. This was designed especially for you, to look like something a young woman would wear.

A young woman from what era? I mumbled, slipping the chain over my head.

Madeline frowned. Bring this back to me when you have the soul. Do not try to apprehend the rogue. It’s up to the reapers to police their own—we’re only concerned with the stolen soul he carries. Do you understand?

Yeah. I wasn’t looking to pick a fight on my first day, anyway. Where is this reaper?

He killed someone at the Daylight Donuts shop three minutes ago. If you hurry, he might still be close. If you have trouble finding or identifying him, sing for the soul.

Okay, but—

Go, Kaylee.

I glanced from Madeline to my father, who nodded reluctantly. So I closed my eyes and thought of the doughnut shop—fortunately, I’d been there a million times. When I opened my eyes, I stood in the middle of the small dining area. The shop was open, but empty, and a quick glance around revealed the body of the owner on the floor of the kitchen, still in his long white apron. But there was no reaper.

Panicked, I stepped through the locked back door of the shop and into an alley, my feet silent on the concrete because I was both invisible and incorporeal at the moment. I expected to have to wail for the stolen soul—hell, I half expected to be too late already—but there the reaper stood, near the Dumpster. Like he was waiting for me.

My breath caught in my throat, which would have been a problem if I’d actually needed to breathe. I recognized the reaper, even in those ridiculous sunglasses. I’d seen Tod give him to a hellion in the Netherworld to keep him from reaping my soul. Yet there he stood, alive and kicking—metaphorically speaking. The reaper who’d wanted me dead since the day he killed my mother, thirteen years ago.

Thane. Back from the dead. Again.

2

WELL, LOOK WHO survived her own demise. Thane had clearly been waiting for someone, but based on the surprise drawn in the arch of his brows, I was obviously not that someone. This is what happens when they replace an experienced reaper like me with a rookie. Thane shoved both hands into the pockets of the black slacks he’d been wearing the first time I’d seen him, days before I was scheduled to die, and my stomach clenched around nothing. I wasn’t sure whether or not I should be personally afraid of him, now that my death date had come and gone, but I had plenty of still-living friends and family he could threaten if he decided he wanted revenge. "That is who sucker punched me, then sold me out, right? Your boyfriend’s reaper brother?"

No. Well, yes, but Thane had missed the whole boyfriend/brother drama, and I had no urge to fill him in. What the hell are you doing here, Thane? And how had he escaped Avari, the hellion Tod had given him to? You have some kind of grudge against the doughnut industry? Did they forget to give you sprinkles?

Cute. He leaned with one shoulder against the side of the Dumpster and crossed both arms over his chest. "I’m reaping what you sowed."

"What I sowed?"

This is all your fault, little miss won’t-stay-dead. You and that blond reaper. Normally I hate sharing credit, but that doughnut guy is dead because of the two of you, and everything else that’s coming…it’s all your fault.

Chills crawled up my arms. What’s my fault? What’s coming?

A slow, creepy smile spread over his face. "Until next time, little bean sidhe…"

No! I realized he was about to blink out of the alley with less than a second to spare, and in my desperation to take the soul he carried before he left, I accidentally unleashed my bean sidhe wail at full power. Top volume.

Thane flinched and slapped his hands over his ears. Glass rattled in the windows of the doughnut shop behind me, and something actually shattered inside the Dumpster. If I hadn’t been inaudible to everyone else, anyone within a two-block radius would have wanted to claw their own ears out of their heads.

I’d grown as a bean sidhe over the past few months, and death had further strengthened my skills, a fact I’d been kind of horrified to realize during my training.

What are you? Thane asked, arms spread for balance as the soul he’d stolen began to leach out of his body like smoke sucked out the only open window in a room. But I had to read his lips, because I couldn’t hear him over my own screech, and I certainly couldn’t answer.

The soul—a formless foglike shape—began to coalesce around him, and for a moment, I panicked. I didn’t know how to actually get it into the not-a-locket. Desperate, and acutely aware that I was running late for school, I took the locket off and held it by the chain at arm’s length. To my immense relief, the soul began to spiral toward the locket, and as I watched, it soaked into the metal, just like Mr. Beck’s soul had soaked into the dagger I’d killed him with.

When the soul was completely absorbed, I let my wail die

Reviews for Before I Wake

[alcarinqa_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

In this, the sixth book of the Soul Screamers series, Rachel Vincent pulls off her most intense book yet. I’m not entirely sure I’m going to survive reading the next (and last) book! If I Die was an extremely compelling read because Kaylee knew she was going to die and everything she did had a tinge of desperation to it. After that book I wrongly thought things couldn’t any more captivating, but Before I Wake takes it all to a whole new level.In this book Kaylee, deceased, is trying to fit in with her friends again. It is difficult for her to go to school and act normal, especially since everyone at the school knows that her former Math teacher attempted to kill her. Under the spotlight, and trying desperately to act normal – you know keep breathing, staying corporal – Kaylee is understandably under incredible pressure. This book is riveting, partly because it’s so easy to sympathise with Kaylee and understand her dilemmas.Added to this is the danger her human friends are in as the hellion Avari redoubles his efforts to harm Kaylee – apparently she more valuable to him dead than alive (figures right?). But a constant source of support is Tod – Tod! – and I love how he absolutely steps up in this book and is everything to Kaylee that Nash wasn’t. I also found Kaylee’s fathers struggles to understand how his daughter has changed and attempt to work his parenting around it endearing. He really is a cool dad! I was surprised to find myself liking Sabine and Sofie – we finally get to know Sofie as something other than the mean cousin (maybe because of the perspective of the adorable new addition to the gang, Luca) and Sabine becomes Kaylee’s unlikely friend and ally in these dangerous times.Wonderful. Breathtaking. Irresistible. If you aren’t already reading this series, if you aren’t already hooked, then there is no describing the awesomeness you are missing out on!You can read more of my reviews at Speculating on SpecFic.

[a_reader_of_fictions · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

For more reviews, Cover Snark and more, visit A Reader of Fictions.The Soul Screamers books remind me so heavily of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. It’s both the unevenness of quality along the narrative, with some of the episodes being silly and cheesy and some being dark and cruel and epic. The other thing is that, seriously, this town would not have people in it anymore. The body count for redshirts is high. Before I Wake continues the trend of soul-punching awesomeness that began in If I Die, where the series transitioned from individual episode mysteries into the end of story arc big boss battle of badassness.The plot in Before I Wake is totally creepytown. So, Avari, whose established himself as head evil dude becomes many times more evil, revealing a plan for worldwide domination, both in the Netherworld and the human world. The hellion has figured out how to cross over into the human world, and basically no one is safe ever. It’s a level of creepy that goes along with being attacked by zombiefied family members or the dogs with the eyes of the fallen tributes at the end of The Hunger Games. I’ve not really talked about Avari before, but he’s a decent villain. For some reason, he doesn’t give me the heebie jeebies unless he’s possessing someone though.Before I Wakes is brutal in a weird way. I’m a big proponent of main characters dying and, though Vincent doesn’t do too much of that, she still manages to really turn the knife in the heart of her characters, both literally and figuratively. See, the way things go down may not kill Kaylee, but they fuck her up big time. Basically Vincent shares Sabine’s nightmare powers and brings them to bear on Kaylee. ‘You hate seeing friends hurt because of your actions? HAHA, ENJOY THE PAIN, MY CREATION!” Or, at least, this is how I imagine it went down. I really don’t know though.The characters are all changing a lot in these last couple of books, Kaylee most of all. Even if she’s still alive, sort of, she’s not pure of heart or of body (YAY) the way she was before. What she has had to do will scar her mentally forever. Kaylee would prefer to sacrifice herself for others than to have to live through being culpable in their destruction, which is what makes this book so painful in such a good way.Also, for those who are interested, I declare myself happy with the ship, though I’m really over Nash and Sabine and their endless moping. I mean, it makes sense, but I super do not care. However, Sabine’s also sort of my spirit animal, minus her shaming. Her don’t give a fuck attitude, though, is perfection. Clearly, if I lived in this world, I would be a mara.Only one more book left in my binge read. BRING IT ON, VINCENT. I know some people weren’t thrilled, which I can only hope means that With All My Soul is incredibly brutal and too dark for most readers. That would be lovely. Find out next time!

[bookishthings · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It has taken me a week to finally write this review. Not because the book was bad, but because it threw my for a loop. I've cried while reading books, but this one made me have big, ugly sobs. I'm telling you, it wasn't pretty. Thank goodness Rachel at Fiktshun warned me to grab the Kleenex and keep it close.

I love how easily Rachel Vincent pulls me into the world she's created. I feel the characters emotions with such a raw intensity. Thank you, Rachel, for allowing us fans to be in the lives of your characters.

Now for some character talk. Sophie still annoys the hell out of me. Instead of only we snarky, we got that plus crying at the drop of a hat. I know things are still new for her, but tears aren't going to fix anything. Oh geez, I think I'm starting to sound like Sabine. Sabine really grew on me in this book. I admired her blunt honesty, and willingness to help. I still want to slap her sometimes, but much less and not as hard. :P Things for Nash are starting to sink in, thank goodness. And Tod, well I don't think i could ever say anything bad about him. His love, loyalty, and determination are remarkable. Kaylee has grown up so much in this series. I'm excited to see what happens next.

As far as plot, this is all I can say since i don't want to give too much away. You get a grasp on just how insane Avari is. Kaylee and her group of friends are once again determined to thwart his nefarious plans. Seriously, Avari has some deep issues.

I cannot recommend this book enough. Or the series for that matter. Just make sure to keep the tissue near because you will need it.

[vanyadrum · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Okay, so I was extremely excited about Before I Wake (BIW), before I adore Rachel Vincent as a writer, and I'm a huge fan of the Soul Screamers series. And when I got my ARC from Mira Ink, I was super happy, almost jumping around with joy!

But.

This book was nothing like the rest of the series. The plot was confusing from the very beginning; no resolution (even a momentary one) was provided; there was too much murder and blood spilling; and because of all that I felt very very disappointed.

To be fair, I might have had very high expectations about BIW, because the previous installment, If I Die, was simply smashing! But I believe that Rachel should've known that she raised the bar, and that she had to exceed that bar in BIW. Unfortunately, in my opinion, she didn't manage it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I did like the writing, as usual. It was flawless, so no problem there. It was the plot that disturbed me, as it appeared to be confusing and somewhat pointless. I didn't really comprehend the whole deal with what was going on and why, and there was a moment of time where I actually wanted to just leave the book and never finish it.

Still though, I pushed on, and I was slightly gratified. The last 100 pages or so was where the interesting things happened, and where the third star in my rating came from. I won't say more because I don't want to spoil the book for you. In fact, you may end up totally loving it, so don't take my word for it.

Anywho, let's discuss the characters.

*Kaylee - I can't say I liked her here at all. I truly adored her in the previous books, was fascinated by her character, but now... not really. In my eyes, she wasn't Kaylee anymore. And perhaps it was somewhat right for her to be so, since she was dead and all. I guess her personality couldn't remain the same in some areas. Still, to me it felt too much of a change, and it was sort of unrealistic. Those things she did... well I don't think that Kaylee would've done them. And yet, I read of her doing them. It was just... it didn't feel right.

*Tod - I got to like Tod in If I Die. Here he sort of lost me. He acted strange, said weird things, took nothing seriously, and I felt like he wasn't dependable anymore. It honestly felt like all he wanted to do with Kay was make out. Not that I have anything against that, but seriously, I didn't see any depth. Disappointed.

*Nash though is a totally different story. He came back! I loved him! Every bit of him! From his misery, to his love, to his very existence. His personality, how it changed, was completely realistic. I couldn't have explained his turmoil and pain better. For him is that forth star. And to be honest, he's better off with Sabine. She's much more versatile and real, and you know, honest.

*Sabine - she totally rocked the boat this time. She was as straight forward and honest as ever. Only now there's a thin string of insecurity around her, which to me made her even more realistic. I loved how devoted she was to Nash, and even to Kaylee (who, in my opinion, didn't deserve it.)

*Sophie - even she has grown some backbone and some positive qualities here. I honestly don't hate her anymore (though I did in the first 50 pages or so).

*Emma - she's still the sweet girl, and best friend and I loved her for it.

So, in conclusion I can say that everyone should form their own opinion about Before I Wake. I was pretty disappointed by it, and I really truly hope that the final installment doesn't sink the series even more.

NOTE: I received this book for review from MIRA INK. Thanks for the opportunity to read BIW!

[laneliterati · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I can't recommend this series enough for YA readers or those who like paranormal romances/mystery but want something better than Twilight. Fans of the Morganville Vampires will like these.

[girlsonfire · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is another one of my favorite paranormal series, and the best part is that it's not the typical vampires or werewolves but other very different paranormal beings.There are some very interesting characters in this series. Older teens might like to read the author's adult series, Shifters, which starts with Stray. It's a very good series too, but has more sex and violence.A possible teen read-alike would be the Iron Fey series by Julie Kagawa.

[bookswithbite · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I have never avoided a book like a plague. But this book, I avoided. Whenever I would walk into my library to choose book to read, I swear it would stare right at me, taunting me. I'm serious. I would intentionally ignore it and look away cause the minute I gave in, I was doomed. Finally, I gave in. And yes, I'm doomed now...It's not that this book is bad. It's the exact opposite. Freaking AWESOME! I avoided it for two reasons. The first being that if I read it right away, the longer I have to wait for the next book. And when it comes to Rachel Vincent books, I'm as impatient as a spoiled kid. I WANT THE NEXT BOOK NOW!The second, Sabine pisses me off! The chick can get under my skin by just the mention of her name and she is not even real! Do you know how insane that is? That a person who doesn't even exist ticks me off so badly. *SMH* Told you I was doomed....The plot is great! Just like her other books, it's filled with non-stop action, lots of plot twist and turns. I like how nicely the turn of events changes things. Kaylee has grown so much along with her father and friends. And of course once again, Kaylee has thrown herself into the fiery pits of hell to save the ones that she loves.The love interest is the best part of this book. Kaylee has found someone that she loves and trusts. You can really tell the difference of peace that floats around her when she is with him. He gives Kaylee just whats she needs when she needs it most. He always has her back and follows along with whatever trouble she finds herself in... Did I mention that this girl is a magnet for trouble?Before I Wake is an awesomely amazing book. I can see why I avoided it. Cause now that I am done with it and with the way that it ended, I now have to wait three tortuous months to read the conclusion. Am I happy about this? HELL NO! There's no denying a good book when you've read one. Rachel Vincent continues to awe her readers with her ambitious writing. Before I Wake is the beginning of the end in a series that I have fell in love with since book one. It's awesome. Relentless. A story like no other. Oh hell, just read the book!!

[tinkerbell4726 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Oh Todd, you own my heart completely! The emotions I encountered throughout this book goes to show what an incredible author Rachel Vincent is. I cannot wait for the last book of the series. It will be bittersweet

[alaiel4kreuz · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Kaylee is now dead... or dead-ish to be more specific. When her Math teacher killed her Levi (Tod's boss) and Madeline brought her back so she could work for Madeline in the Reclamation Department.As a bean sidhe she was able to get back the stolen souls and help them reach their rightful destination. And the Reclamation Department needed her help badly after some humans had died and their souls disappeared.But in her first assignment she realizes that every rule she thought applied to herself is a lie, that she being immortal was of no importance and that her family and friends were in deep trouble... Worst of all, hell was breaking loose and so far it seemed that there was no way of stoping it.If that wasn't enough her life was beginning to crumble to pieces; nothing felt the same way nothing tasted the same and school, music and even friends were beginning to feel unreal... How could she feel like everybody else when she wasn't going to age anymore, or go to college?!At least one thing remained the same and that was her new reaper boyfriend, Tod. But what if being with her meant more troubles for him?Personal opinion:When I wrote my review of If I Die Rachel Vincent had surpassed everything I expected and had gone beyond my wildest dreams creating a book full of emotions, feelings and excitement that was too much to handle...This time she did the same thing but multiplied by 10, at least. You have no idea, guys, I'm serious here... Before I Wake was a rollercoaster of everything: I cried a lot, I laughed like crazy, I loved Tod even more, I wanted to confort Kaylee in every page and I was worried sick with what was going on.Oh my goodness, I know I can't tell you anything but... but... It is SO difficult to explain myself when all I want to do is re-read the book and then sit in a chair to wait for the next -and sadly- final book of the series coming out next year.Next year... oh man, this is going to be a looong wait.Anyway, if you have read the series so far I encourage you to buy this book, you won't regret it at all, you will love it and you will hate at the same time; too many things happen and some of them are so heartbreaking, so surreal that I HAD to go outside, take a walk and clear my mind so I could keep reading. Definitely things have changed and we will go with Kaylee through all the changes, all the fears and all the emotions.Without doubt the best book so far, it's darker than the others and way more thrilling. And the ending... All I'm going to say about it is that I would give everything to read With All My Soul tonight.

[eomalley_2 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

How would I describe Rachel Vincent’s Before I Wake? Wonderful…and heartbreaking.

Kaylee is learning how to cope with her new existence after being murdered by her math teacher in If I Die. Helping her adjust is new boyfriend, Tod, whose love for Kaylee has helped him retain his humanity while fulfilling his grim reaper duties. His brother Nash, devastated by Kaylee’s choice of Tod over him, has turned for comfort to ex-girlfriend Sabine while trying to fight his addiction to Demon’s Breath. Kaylee’s cousin Sophie has been told all about her family’s ties to the paranormal, and is in a serious relationship with new student Luca. Even Kaylee’s best friend Emma appears to have finally found a young man who seems to be interested in more than just her body. Finally, everyone just may have a chance at happiness – until bodies start showing up all over town with missing souls. Kaylee’s investigation leads to an old foe who will stop at nothing to obtain her soul, which means no one close to her is safe.

Since Rachel Vincent always ends up introducing a new character or two in each book, I’m going to start with our newbies this time around – Luca and Kaylee’s new boss, Madeline. We first met Luca in the novella Never To Sleep, but didn’t really know where he fit into the Soul Screamers world until now. It turns out that Luca has been recruited by the Reclamation Department that Kaylee works for due to his special ability to sense and communicate with the recently deceased. I liked what little I knew of him when he showed up in Never To Sleep, and after seeing his character more developed in Before I Wake I can say he is a great addition to the series. Tall, dark, gorgeous and with the strength to put up with Sophie as a girlfriend, Luca slid naturally into Kaylee’s group of Scoobies.

I wasn’t too sure I would feel the same about Madeline, since at first she seemed cold and very by-the-book. She is more determined to find and apprehend the thief stealing souls from the recently deceased than to prevent the deaths in the first place, which has her butting heads with Kaylee (who wants to protect everyone). As things started disintegrating, though, and Madeline revealed more of the stresses she and her department have been under to reclaim stolen souls, I found a lot more sympathy for her character. This poor woman had no idea what she was getting into when she recruited Kaylee to reclaim souls before the thief can steal them, and did not realize that Kaylee came with her own team. Her bewilderment when this was explained was priceless.

Relationships are very much at the forefront in this series, and here everyone is tentatively trying to repair what was damaged in the last book. Kaylee is settling in to her relationship with Tod while her father struggles with accepting them as a couple. His little girl is grown, and he is having a very rough time letting her go. One of the high points in the story for me was a small scene where Kaylee overhears a conversation between the two most important men in her life. I thought it was very poignant hearing Tod voice how he feels while Kaylee’s father explained his reservations. Kaylee and Tod also have to deal with the pain Nash is going through after losing Kaylee, and it was interesting to see them warily circle each other. When some major events occur in the stunning finale, Tod and Nash have to work together and we can see that if they are ever able to iron out their differences they will be a formidable team. With what goes down in Before I Wake, I believe this sibling relationship may be pivotal in the series finale next year.

It is going to take a lot, though, for Nash to let go of his resentment. Sabine is standing by him, but I wasn’t impressed with the way Nash is treating her. Nash can be charming and caring, but he also has veins of stubbornness and selfishness running through him. Sabine probably understands him the best of everyone, and puts up with a lot from him. This time around, Nash appears to be using her to forget Kaylee. I found myself unexpectedly worried about Sabine, but if there is anyone who is able to hold their own it is her. I really hope Nash finally lets Kaylee go and realizes what he has right in front of him.

As always, pacing is stellar and moves right along. Vincent is a master at keeping things moving swiftly and easily. Moments of humor are still present, but not as prevalent as in previous books. Things are getting steadily darker and more serious as we progress, and the second half of Before I Wake turned out to be some of the most emotional scenes yet in the series. This book has more deaths than we’ve had since book one, mostly strangers or minor characters – but a couple that are major and heartrending. A stunning twist in the final scene sets things up for an incredible showdown, and I have no idea how things will end for Kaylee and her friends.

This review turned out to be much more difficult than I expected. I had such mixed emotions when I finished Before I Wake – shock, heartbreak, awe at Vincent’s fearlessness, and a driving need to know what will happen in Kaylee’s final adventure – that I didn’t even know where to start this review. What surprised me most, however, was my reaction to the loss of characters I have become so invested in. It hit me much harder in Before I Wake than Kaylee’s death did in If I Die, maybe because I knew there was no way Kaylee wasn’t coming back somehow. If I Die is, overall, still my favorite book in the series (so far), but I’m sure I’ll pull out Before I Wake many times in the future to revisit the quieter scenes involving Kaylee and Tod, Nash and Kaylee, and even the conversation between Tod and Kaylee’s father. Moments such as these have always resonated the most with me, and Before I Wake provides plenty of them to hold me over until With All My Soul completes the Soul Screamers series next year.

[mrso822 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This review is also posted on Mommy's Reading Break

As seems to be Vincent’s pattern, we find out some new information very quickly in the book. When Kaylee goes on her first assignment for the reclamation department, she runs into an old foe that we may have assumed was gone. We know that Kaylee did. We also learn that this old foe has connections to another old foe and is going to be making trouble for Kaylee. Being dead doesn’t make her invincible, and she can die for real this time.

This book was definitely the weirdest in the series for me. I don’t mean weird in a bad way, but as we’re now seeing an entire book about Kaylee being dead and struggling to fake her life, it just is a strange experience for the reader. As is typical with Vincent’s writing style, the book gives enough mystery and danger interspersed with love, friendship, and humorous moments to really keep it interesting. However, I would also say that this book is one of the creepier and scarier of the series, as we find out that Avari has obtained a new ability that is absolutely terrifying. Also, there is one scene that is just absolutely heartbreaking for Kaylee.

While strange, it is very interesting to see how much Kaylee really struggles with her afterlife. She really thought that going through the motions of her life would feel normal, like nothing ever happened, but she is all too aware that she is dead and that the things that once mattered to her don’t as much anymore. We also get to see Tod like we’ve never seen him before. He seems happier with Kaylee in his life, but he also sometimes struggles with how to help her through her afterlife. Nash, Sabine, and Sophie are all a bit more likable in this book, and I just love Luca.

The ending was intense and sad. It also ends on more of a cliffhanger than most of the other books, making me very eager to read the last book! Bad news is it’s not released yet. Good news? It’s supposed to come out in March, so at least it’s not too long of a wait!

While I really enjoyed this book, I didn’t find it as amazing as My Soul to Steal or If I Die, so I give it 4 stars.

[pollywannabook · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Review courtesy of All Things Urban FantasyThe Soul Screamers series is not one that knocked me off my feet initially. The first two books were solid, fun stories with great mythology, but not especially memorable. That all changed with book 3, MY SOUL TO SAVE. The last three books have been increasingly excellent as Rachel Vincent started taking more and more risks with her characters and spinning her story into unexpected and completely unforgettable directions.BEFORE I WAKE is the book after. By that I mean it’s the book that has to deal with all the shocking, tragic, and also unexpectedly wonderful things that happened in IF I DIE. There is an endearing fragility about Kaylee and all the various relationships this time. New love, rekindled love, love that tries to overcome the deepest kind of betrayal. Nothing feels certain, and that’s part of what made reading this book so engaging. One false move (and there were several scenes that terrified me because I was sure someone was going to do something that irrevocably damaged one of these new relationships) and everything would be broken.One of the real highlights of BEFORE I WAKE was Tod. Seeing him get to explore his relationship with Kaylee was just beautiful. I think he had given up on any kind of happy ending for himself, and Rachel Vincent has written him in such a heartbreakingly lovable way, that it’s impossible not to cheer for every smile he gets…even when they comes at the expense of someone I’ve also grown to love through the course of this series. The balance is near perfect.As the next to last book, BEFORE I WAKE does feel at times like a big set up for the end in terms of plot, but the character and relationship developments are huge. WITH ALL MY SOUL comes out on April 1, 2013 from Harlequin Teen. It is currently the last book under contract for the Soul Screamers series, so it very well may be the swan song to the series. I can’t wait to see what Rachel has in store for us.Sexual Content:Kissing. Scenes of sensuality. Implied sex.