The Merry Wives of Windsor

By William Shakespeare

Merry Mischief-- Arriving in Windsor with very little money, John Falstaff decides to raise funds by wooing two wealthy, married women. His servants refuse to help him, and after being sacked they go to the husbands of Falstaff's intended targets. Falstaff send both women, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, almost identical letters. The two discover Falstaff's intentions and together decide to make sport of him and pretend to be amenable to his advances. Thine own true knight, By day or night, Or any kind of light, With all his might, For thee to fight

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wilder Publications, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 10, 2015
• ISBN: 9781627556965

William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare is the world's greatest ever playwright. Born in 1564, he split his time between Stratford-upon-Avon and London, where he worked as a playwright, poet and actor. In 1582 he married Anne Hathaway. Shakespeare died in 1616 at the age of fifty-two, leaving three children—Susanna, Hamnet and Judith. The rest is silence.

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THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR

by William Shakespeare

Wilder Publications, Inc.

Copyright © 2014

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10   9   8   7   6   5   4   3   2   1

ISBN 978-1-62755-696-5  

Table of Contents

Dramatis Personae

ACT I

ACT I. SCENE I. Windsor. Before PAGE’S house

ACT I. SCENE II. Before PAGE’S house

ACT I. SCENE III. The Garter Inn

ACT I. SCENE IV. DOCTOR CAIUS’S house

ACT II

ACT II. SCENE I. Before PAGE’S house

ACT II. SCENE II. A room in the Garter Inn

ACT II. SCENE III. A field near Windsor

ACT III

ACT III. SCENE I. A field near Frogmore

ACT III. SCENE II. The street in Windsor

ACT III. SCENE III. FORD’S house

ACT III. SCENE IV. Before PAGE’S house

ACT III. SCENE V. The Garter Inn

ACT IV

ACT IV. SCENE I. Windsor. A street

ACT IV. SCENE II. FORD’S house

ACT IV. SCENE III. The Garter Inn

ACT IV. SCENE IV. FORD’S house

ACT IV. SCENE V. The Garter Inn

ACT IV. SCENE VI. The Garter Inn

ACT V

ACT V. SCENE I. The Garter Inn

ACT V. SCENE II. Windsor Park

ACT V. SCENE III. A street leading to the Park

ACT V. SCENE IV. Windsor Park

ACT V. SCENE V. Another part of the Park

Dramatis Personae

SIR JOHN FALSTAFF

FENTON, a young gentleman

SHALLOW, a country justice

SLENDER, cousin to Shallow

Gentlemen of Windsor

FORD

PAGE

WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page

SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson

DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician

HOST of the Garter Inn

Followers of Falstaff

BARDOLPH

PISTOL

NYM

ROBIN, page to Falstaff

SIMPLE, servant to Slender

RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius

MISTRESS FORD

MISTRESS PAGE

MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, her daughter

MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius

SERVANTS to Page, Ford, etc.

SCENE: Windsor, and the neighbourhood

ACT I

ACT I. SCENE I. Windsor. Before PAGE’S house

Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS

SHALLOW: Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star

Chamber matter of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs,

he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

SLENDER: In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and

Coram.

SHALLOW: Ay, cousin Slender, and Custalorum.

SLENDER: Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born,

Master Parson, who writes himself ‘Armigero’ in any bill,

warrant, quittance, or obligation—‘Armigero.’

SHALLOW: Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three

hundred years.

SLENDER: All his successors, gone before him, hath done’t;

and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may

give the dozen white luces in their coat.

SHALLOW: It is an old coat.

EVANS: The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;

it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and

signifies love.

SHALLOW: The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old

coat.

SLENDER: I may quarter, coz.

SHALLOW: You may, by marrying.

EVANS: It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

SHALLOW: Not a whit.

EVANS: Yes, py’r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there

is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures;

but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed

disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be

glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and

compremises between you.

SHALLOW: The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.

EVANS: It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no

fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire

to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your

vizaments in that.

SHALLOW: Ha! o’ my life, if I were young again, the sword

should end it.

EVANS: It is petter that friends is the sword and end it;

and there is also another device in my prain, which

peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne

Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is

pretty virginity.

SLENDER: Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and

speaks small like a woman.

EVANS: It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you

will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and

gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death’s—bed—Got

deliver to a joyful resurrections!—give, when she is able to

overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we

leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage

between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

SHALLOW: Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

EVANS: Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

SHALLOW: I know the young gentlewoman; she has good

gifts.

EVANS: Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.

SHALLOW: Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff

there?

EVANS: Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do

despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not

true. The knight Sir John is there; and, I beseech you, be

ruled by your well—willers. I will peat the door for Master

PAGE:

[Knocks] What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

PAGE: [Within] Who’s there?

Enter PAGE

EVANS: Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice

Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures

shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your

likings.

PAGE: I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for

my venison, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW: Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do

it your good heart! I wish’d your venison better; it was ill

kill’d. How doth good Mistress Page?—and I thank you

always with my heart, la! with my heart.

PAGE: Sir, I thank you.

SHALLOW: Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

PAGE: I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

SLENDER: How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say

he was outrun on Cotsall.

PAGE: It could not be judg’d, sir.

SLENDER: You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.

SHALLOW: That he will not. ‘Tis your fault; ‘tis your fault;

‘tis a good dog.

PAGE: A cur, sir.

SHALLOW: Sir, he’s a good dog, and a fair dog. Can there be

more said? He is good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?

PAGE: Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office

between you.

EVANS: It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

SHALLOW: He hath wrong’d me, Master Page.

PAGE: Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

SHALLOW: If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that

so, Master Page? He hath wrong’d me; indeed he hath; at a

word, he hath, believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith

he is wronged.

PAGE: Here comes Sir John.

Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH,

Reviews for The Merry Wives of Windsor

[lyzadanger · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I found this the most difficult of the comedies to read (lots of vernacular). Get a good edition with proper footnotes (endnotes would be cumbersome for this one).

[birdie.newborn · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Falstaff remains a comic figure of large proportions even without Prince Hal as a countercharacter. He schemes as usual, only this time he's the dupe and doesn't know it.

[amerynth · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

"The Merry Wives of Windsor" is definitely not Shakespeare's strongest work. I initially found it very difficult to follow, given the multitude of characters introduced off the bat and the interesting dialects. I found the play got better as it got moving along-- as the merry wives work hard to trick the lecherous Falstaff. I have not read Henry IV yet, so I have no knowledge about Falstaff other than this play-- perhaps I would have enjoyed this more if I had.This is definitely one of Shakespeare's works that would be much more amusing watched rather than read.

[meandmybooks-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Not really my sort of thing, but “Merry Wives” is so much better than some of the other comedies I've read this year (Loves Labour's Lost, The Two Gentlemen of Verona, The Comedy of Errors), that I'm giving it three stars, just in recognition of that. This is very silly, frivolous, and shallow, but Mistress Page and Mistress Ford were engaging, and it was satisfying to see this lecherous, arrogant Falstaff being thoroughly put down. Falstaff here bears only a tenuous connection with the gargantuan character in the Henry plays – he has the same name, same companions, same lusts – but he lacks the depth and ungovernable force that makes that character so memorable. Another point in the play's favor is that there are some really marvelous lines. For example, here is Falstaff, seriously rattled after being transported to a river in a basket of filthy laundry and then tossed in...”Have I liv'd to be carried in a basket like a barrow of butcher's offal? And to be thrown in the Thames? Well, and I be serv'd such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out and butter'd and give them to a dog for a new-year's gift.”And later, when he's in the woods and believes he's surrounded by ferocious fairies...”Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese!”I guess we all have our own weird little phobias.Finally, the excellent audio performance from Arkangel Shakespeare made this much more enjoyable than reading alone would have been. All of the actors and actresses are good, but Sylvestra le Touzel, as Mistress Ford, and Penny Downie, as Mistress Page, amused me particularly with their cheery “Wilma and Betty” tittering (from the Flintstones – is that still a recognizable reference?) .

[laurochka-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A farcical comedy of love and affairs. Entertaining!

[jhudsui_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I don't know it just seemed like a very by the numbers sort of affair to me. None of the characters stood out and the goofy "funny" accents aren't funny.

[coach_of_alva · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This very likable play was supposedly the only time that Shakespeare wrote, not about noble heroes, but the common people of the small town milieu that he was raised in. I wish he had done it more often, for he makes Windsor as a charming a town as Mayberry.

[mrslee_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed this tale. The wives are my heroes and I thought the interplay between them and their husbands was honest and hilarious. I loved that they were not taken in for a minute by Falstaff's flattery. It truly is a very respectful view of women and their intelligence, I wish more modern authors had that respect.

[vandev11 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

“The Merry Wives of Windsor” centers on John Falstaff as he tries to court Mistress Page and Mistress Ford in an effort to receive compensation. Meanwhile, Mistress Page is being courted by two other men. Mistress Page and Mistress Ford team up to shame Falstaff for his deceit, which produces comical results.“Merry Wives” is one of Shakespeare’s denser plays, yet it is unique in that it portrays middle class English folk in way that Shakespeare does not use in any of his other plays. I highly recommend pairing the reading of this play with watching a live performance of it, because it definitely helps with comprehension of the complex plot.

[meditationesmartini · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Well, behold the man. The Falstaff who whooped it up with Prince Hal is to the Falstaff of The Merry Wives of Windsor as one like unto an ancestor-god, even if it's the latter wearing Herne horns. From history's greates Lusty Fool, in a near-tie with Li Po, to a foolhardy lustbucket in a buckbasket. And okay, we all diminish with time (I suddenly imagine the 15th-century Sir John as a seminal founder, a literal ancestor of his 17th-century counterpart), and it's a play where the women get the better of the men, so that makes his buffoonery appro, but it's still leavened with that little bit of tin-eared nasty where you just don't want him to tell the story about the stripper who wouldn't take her bottoms off and didn't get no tip.And the other men are thin gruel, and the women are better, especially Mistress Quikly, but you don't want to forgive them for thinking up that amazing scene where the children dress as fairies and then not coming to life and honeytonguing the playwright into writing what would have obviously been the best scene in all of shakespeare, the one where the Elizabbethan children get ready to play Elizabethan Peter Pans.All in all it's a confection, evidently one fit for a (Virgin) Queen, since the mythology says she commissioned it, but one that leaves a weird flat taste on the modern palate, like one of those early modern pies with cloves squab and a loaf of bread and verjuice in it. Oh, but I'd take three friends to see Sir Hugh Evans and Dr. Caius are Dead.

[bookworm12_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I adore Shakespeare. I’ve read at least half of his works. I’ve seen dozens of his plays performed. In college I took a class completely devoted to learning how to read and interpret his writing. I’ve visited the Globe in England and every time I read a new play of his I find a new reason to love his work.His writing isn’t perfect. He ripped story lines from others and his plays can be repetitive. He can be long-winded when he wants to, but all-in-all, there’s more brilliance than hot air there. When Shakespeare ran out of words to express what he was feeling, he invented them! That’s just amazing. Not only did he invent words, but they are ones that stuck and that we still use today. I love his wit. He was incredibly funny. Many of his jokes were topical, so they aren’t nearly as amusing to us as they were to audiences that lived during his lifespan. It’s like someone watching an episode of Saturday Night Live from 30 years ago and expecting to catch every joke from the weekend update. On to the The Merry Wives of Windsor. This isn’t my favorite play, it isn’t even my favorite comedy by the Bard, but it is entertaining. It’s well-known purely because it brought back a fan-favorite, Sir John Falstaff (from the Henry IV history plays). The basic plot is as follows, that well-loved pompous old fool, Falstaff, decides to seduce two of the married ladies in the town of Windsor. The confusion that ensues is almost like a French farce. People run in, doors slam, identities are mistaken, etc. In other words, good times. Always the idiot, Falstaff makes the mistake of wooing two women who happen to be best friends. Mistress Ford and Mistress Page both receive love letter from the fat knight and devise a plan to trap and mock him. Mistress Ford’s husband ends up as collateral damage when he’s led to believe his wife is actually cheating on him. What sets this play apart from his many others is the fact that it’s the only one set in contemporary (for Shakespeare) England. Most of his other plays either took place in the past or in another country. The subplot involves a husband and wife (the Pages) who are trying to marry their daughter off to men she doesn't love. The clever daughter evades her parents' wishes by coming up with a tricky solution of her own to get the man she truly loves. If you're new to Shakespeare, see it live first! It's a play, it was meant to be seen and not just read. Once you've done that, explore the beauty of his writing. Much Ado About Nothing is a great place to start in the comedies and Hamlet remains my favorite tragedy... so far. ---One side note, if you’re looking for a definitive edition of Shakespeare, I would highly recommend the The Riverside Shakespeare. It is massive (like five inches thick), but I love it.

[bell7_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

John Falstaff of the Henry plays is visiting Windsor and writes letters to two of the wives, attempting to seduce them for their husbands' money. The wives, Mistress Ford (of a jealous husband) and Mistress Page (of a not-so-jealous husband), decide to have some fun with him for coming up with so outrageous a plot. Meanwhile, multiple suitors try to Miss Anne Page's hand.This is a departure from many of Shakespeare's plays in that the majority of it is written in prose; only some is in meter. I enjoyed the wordplay and the ridiculous scenarios and ways the wives outwit Falstaff. The fat jokes may offend.

[cbl_tn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Sir John Falstaff is in Windsor with plans to seduce two married women, Mistress Page and Mistress Ford. The two women are aware of his plans and come up with a scheme of their own to make him look foolish. Meanwhile, the Page’s daughter, Ann, has three suitors competing for her favor. Which one will she marry? There’s just enough plot on which to hang the farce. The mispronounced English of the Welsh parson and the French doctor, as well as the malapropisms of the doctor’s servant, provide additional humor. I’ve visited Windsor enough times to be familiar with all the locations mentioned in the play, and that added to my enjoyment. I think I would enjoy watching a performance more than reading the text.

[seaward_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Fourth Folio in turn served as the base for the series of eighteenth-century editions of Shakespeare's plays. Nicholas Rowe used the Fourth Folio text as the foundation of his 1709 edition, and subsequent editors — Pope, Theobald, etc. — both adapted and reacted to Rowe's text in their own editions. (See: Shakespeare's Editors.)