A Dummy and I - Fantastic Scripts for Ventriloquists and Puppeteers

By Anon Anon

Mastered the art of throwing your voice but not sure what to say? This book contains a wealth of ideas for ventriloquism sketches. Thoroughly recommended reading for the tongue-tied ventriloquist. Containing black and white drawings of a selection of dummies. This book contains classic material dating back to the 1900s and before. The content has been carefully selected for its interest and relevance to a modern audience.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Read Books Ltd.
• Release date: May 6, 2015
• ISBN: 9781473394186

Book preview

VENTRILOQUIAL DIALOGUE

TAKEN FROM MY ENTERTAINMENT

A CURE FOR THE BLUES.

Figures to represent the following characters:—

JOHN BULL,

COUSIN JONATHAN,

ALGY (a dude),

WIDOW BIDDY O’BLARNEY.

(These figures can be purchased from Messrs. A. W Gamage, Ltd., Holborn, London.)

JOHN BULL and JONATHAN occupy the centre, Ventriloquist standing behind them.

Vent. Ladies and Gentlemen,—In introducing my ventriloquial entertainment, I feel very much like the Chancellor of the Exchequer when he works his great confidence trick on the public and brings in his Budget.

John B. His fudget?

Vent. Don’t interrupt me, John. I said Budget.

John B. Well, Budget’s all fudget.

Vent. Well, you ought to know, John. You pay the piper. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I was about saying that I resemble the Chancellor of the Exchequer, because——

JOHN BULL

John B. Because you’re such a calculating old rascal.

Vent. Not at all. I am like the Chancellor of the Exchequer——

Algy. I say, old chappy, I know why you are like the Chancellor of the Exchequer; because you’re so jolly handy with other people’s cash, doncherknow!

Vent. Hold your tongue, Algy.

Algy. I came here to speak in the——

Vent. Keep quiet, and you shall have a chance of speaking presently.

Algy. Oh, thanks awfully.

Vent. I feel I am somewhat like the Chancellor of the Exchequer because it is upon a nice man——

Biddy. Shure it’s yourself that’s a nice man enthoirely.

Vent. Thank you, Biddy. I say I am like the Chancellor of the Exchequer because it is upon a nice manipulation of my figures that I rely.

Jonathan. Guess you’re lying—and re lying—about us every night.

Vent. Now, any Chancellor of the Exchequer can tell you that good, reliable figures speak for themselves.

Algy. When they get a chance. I came here——

Vent. Don’t interrupt me, and you shall speak presently.

Algy. Oh, thanks awfully.

Vent. Now to introduce my friends. This good old John——

Biddy. Manners, yer blackguard. Ladies first.

Vent. I beg your pardon, Biddy. This, ladies and gentlemen, is Widow Biddy O’Blarney, from county Cork.

Jonathan. Well, I wish you’d hurry up and draw.

Vent. Draw what?—the Widow?