Two Sides of Forever

By Natalie Rebecca

Elise Jessup fell in love hopelessly and completely at a young age. When that relationship resulted in crushing heartbreak, she was hesitant to open herself up again. 9 years later, she finds herself happily committed to the man who helped her learn to love and trust again. But then, her first love returns. Challenging choices, two loving men, and constant questioning brings Elise to her future. Who will win her heart forever?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Natalie Rebecca
• Release date: Apr 4, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310652868

Natalie Rebecca

Natalie and Rebecca have been friends for over 20 years. What started as one friend doing another friend’s homework has blossomed into a lifelong camaraderie. They have experienced love and loss, laughter and tears, an abundance of blessings and have managed to remain fiercely loyal to each other through it all. Their love of reading and inspiring characters is what has motivated them to create their own world of fiction for you to escape to and enjoy. Happy Reading!

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Two Sides of Forever

Natalie Rebecca

Copyright © 2015 by Rebecca Billingsley

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

Dreams Published Press

700 Wentworth Drive

McKinney, TX 75070

Ordering Information:

Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address above.

Orders by U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers.

This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, locales or events is entirely coincidental.

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Prologue

Part I

1. Shadows

2. Another World

3. Breathe

4. Passing Notes

5. Going Public

6. Futures

7. Commitment

8. Decisions

9. Left Behind

Part II

10. Life Goes On

11. Accidents

12. Not Broken

13. Realizations

14. Falling Again

15. Dirty Laundry

16. New Beginnings

Part III

17. Why and How

18. Ice Cream

19. Game Changer

20. Stress

21. Back to the Writing Board

22. Confessions

23. Time To Choose

Part IV

Jesse

Canaan

Here are some of the songs we listened to while writing this story. Feel free to listen to them while you read. Enjoy!!

Part I

Make You Miss Me - Sam Hunt

Arabella - Arctic Monkeys

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

Let You Go - Josh Gracin

Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran

Flawless - The Neighbourhood

R U Mine - Arctic Monkeys

XO - John Mayer

Part II

Fix You - Coldplay

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

Falling Slowly - The Swell Season

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran

One Great Mystery - Lady Antebellum

House Party - Sam Hunt

Crash My Party - Luke Bryan

Love You Like That - Canaan Smith

Love Me Like You Mean It - Kelsea Ballerini

Part III

Marry Me - Train

I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz

Make You Feel My Love – Garth Brooks

Angel - Florida Georgia Line

Alleyways - The Neighbourhood

Lie With Me - Lady Antebellum

She Don’t Love You - Eric Paslay

Damn You 17 - Lady Antebellum

Why You Wanna - Jana Kramer

Stay - Florida Georgia Line

Thousand Years - Christina Perri

The One That Got Away - Katy Perry

Better Than You Left Me - Mickey Guyton

R U Mine - Arctic Monkeys

Prologue

Soulmates

I look back over my life and think… I know I have mine. I have no doubts that he is the ONE. He is the one that completes my heart, the other half of my soul. He brings me peace and happiness any time I am around him. He can make me laugh at any given moment or smile when my day has brought me down. He makes me feel cherished, loved, desired, and like without me he would cease to exist. Our life is filled with love and memories and children that have brought us a craziness that I could've only dreamed of. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I can't say I always knew…there were a couple of months there where I really questioned myself. I would like to think I would've been stronger, would've known my future sooner. But, I didn't. I needed those months to be selfish and make mistakes, to figure it all out. I was blindsided when my past and my present collided…literally breathless, trying to figure out how to move forward. It was hard. Scary even, the unknown. I was wracked with guilt. And now, well now I just think…wow…I was lucky enough to have loved two amazing men in my life. Two guys that could make my heart beat faster, that could make me feel free, that had so much to offer…and they wanted me. I don't really know why, or what the draw was or why I was brought into their lives when I was.

My love, my true love stood by me. He stood by me during some dark times, while I made the hardest decision of my life. One that would create his future, lead him down one path or another. But one that would also make that choice for another. He listened while I cried after making the choice. He knew I was hurting somebody very special to me, somebody I didn't want to let go of, somebody that I couldn't imagine not having in my life. He was patient and understanding, never boastful over being the ONE. He just loved me while I figured it all out, in my head, in my heart.

Right now I could tell you I have no doubts but back then…

I just knew that I loved them, BOTH…

at different times and for a few excruciating moments…at the same time.

PART I

1. SHADOWS (Ellie)

Come on Ellie! It's the End of Summer Party at JR's, you have to come! Kinley squeals.

Why am I still sitting here listening to this? She knows I don't want to go. Since when has going to a party been my top priority? Well, in all honesty, I don't believe it's been any priority for me, let alone one at the top. Kinley's different. She loves the spotlight, the energy at these things. She always manages to find somebody to head off with into the dark and me…well I'll be around waiting for her to come back.

Am I anti-social you ask? No…at least I don't think so. I like to think of myself as reserved, a quiet presence. I like to just hang back, be more of a people watcher than a doer. I've never really been the popular girl, but yet I still somehow know everybody and people seem to know me. I'm just known as Damon’s younger sister, the nice girl, good family, well to do parents, and smart. I'm not bookish, I like books but I don't live in them. I love school and the thought of learning and enlightening myself so I can be a better me one day…a me away from expectations and parental boundaries.

My parents are the parents every child of divorced parents thinks they want. Are they still married? Yes. Do they try to take an active role in my life together? Yes. Do they love my wry and witty teenage sarcasm? No! Do they care where I am at night and who I'm with? Of course! Would I like to get away from them? Absolutely!

Along with the unrelenting pressure I feel from them that they can only describe as love, I feel stifled. I feel like I'm the bird trapped in the beautiful cage. People like to look at me and hear me talk or repeat a new word, but nobody wants to help me out…just open that door and let me fly. I want to see who I can be without them. Without their opinion, without their expectations. I have no doubt they love me and want the best for me. I'm just not sure if I agree with what they think is best for me. Just get through the next 9 months and I'll get my wings. I'll get to fly…right after we finish this mandatory sentence we all call high school.

Kinley, you know I don't really like to go to those things, I sigh. Really, what am I going to do? Just wait for you to come back after making out with whomever you choose for the evening's delight?

Jeez, El…make me feel like a slut why don'tcha? Kinley looks over at me. Maybe that came off a little harsher than I meant.

You know I don't think that about you. I just don't seem to have your...what should I call it? Umm…charismatic charms? I say, looking over at my bestie who is, well, really charismatic.

Ok, I'll forgive you, she winks. You know I'm just trying to figure out which guy is the best kisser in town. I'm taking one for the team lady! Since you seem uninterested in getting out there, I need to do it enough for both of us so I can report back to you all of my findings. Good grief, you wouldn't want to waste any time on someone who leaves enough slobber on you to be compared to a St. Bernard. Right?

Well, when she puts it like that, how can I not agree? Her scale is pretty informative.

And for the record, not like I haven't said this before, "I'm not NOT interested. I just haven't met anybody that makes me want to be MORE interested."

By all means sista, wait around for Mr. Right then! Teenage years are all about experimentation dollface and I, for one, think it's an exceptional time in our life! she tosses back my way as she heads out to the bathroom.

I try not to compare myself to Kinley often, it gets a little daunting. The girl is just beautiful. She's a beautiful, curvy, brunette and on top of that, she is smart and witty and a ton of fun to be around. I have known her since we were 8 and my family moved to Malibu. Our families became quick friends and our BFFship hatched that year.

The sad part of this story…her dad passed away 2 years ago, stroke at 46. Her mom, I will say, is kind of amazing though. Mrs. Thomas is warm, welcoming, understanding, and so supportive of anything Kinley wants to do. I'm not sure if it's because she truly is supportive or if it's because she is afraid if she says no to her that it will put distance between them since she is all Kinley has. Whatever the reason, Kinley always seems so buoyant. She is confident and strong and can effortlessly put herself into any situation with ease.

Kinley likes boys…a lot. Like she REALLY REALLY likes boys. It seems as though a crazy horny teenage boy took over my best friend's body over the last couple of years and she hasn't been seen since. I wasn't joking when I said she'll leave me tonight for whomever the evening's delight would be…she will. We've got a game going…sort of. She kisses them, rates them, and then tells me all the details. I wouldn't call her promiscuous per se…she doesn't necessarily have sex with all of them. She just likes them, likes to kiss them and touch them and in turn... they all like her.

Ellie! Kinley whispers as she rushes back in, that fine piece of ass you call your brother just walked by me and I'm pretty sure he touched my shoulder!

Oh my, not your shoulder?! I fake excitement, covering my mouth with my hand.

You just hush there! He is so beautiful, I'm pretty sure I just combusted from the shoulder touch.

Really Kin. Why don't you just tell him you like him already so he can kiss you, you can rate him, and we can move on?

I've tried! I've batted my lashes, swayed my little tushy, feigned ignorance about baseball so he can explain it to me…got any other ideas genius? What is the secret to that boy's heart and where can I buy it?

OK so Kinley wants Damon, totally old news. Although, I'm not really sure his heart is the part of his anatomy she is most concerned with. Damon is 3 years older than me and home for the summer from college. He'll be leaving again in a week or so and I won't have to hear about Kinley's never ending crush on him…well at least not until he's home for Thanksgiving. He's quiet like me, but a pretty amazing older brother. He thinks I exaggerate about mom and dad being so overbearing, but that's only because he's away from it all. I don't think he remembers what it's like to live here full time and constantly have them ask about grades, friends, or if we are getting enough extracurriculars.

Damon has the same dark blonde hair, blue eyes, and long lanky build I do, but I think it looks much better on him. He's good to me and honestly, he's good to Kinley since she's basically like his second sister. Only problem with that? Kinley doesn't want to be his sister. For whatever reason, he seems to be the only boy this side of the ocean who isn't enticed by her. He seems to be able to just look past all of her flirtations and for the most part, never even acknowledge them, other than to tell her she's too good to be with all of the boys she's with. Probably because he's known her since she was 8 and that Kinley was not the sex crazed Kinley we have on our hands now.

So really, you are going to get dressed and come with me tonight, right? Kinley is really not letting this one go.

Ok, so if I go, do you promise not to ditch me for the first set of pretty lips you find? I ask, wondering why I'm even considering this.

I will do my best girly!! She's now literally bouncing up and down.

Alright fine, help me figure out what to wear and we'll get out of here.

The End of Summer party at JR's is like a staple in our high school. His older brother Mikey used to do them but when he left for school a couple of years back, JR took over the throne. Mikey is friends with my brother Damon so I've been around this group for years. They are good guys, just the epitome of high school guys. They are totally into the hottest girl in the room, brain or no brain, and any kind of alcohol they can sneak into these parties. Since I've never been the hottest girl in the room, I've always just been a second thought, in the shadows, which really is fine by me.

We get there by 9:30, and I can already tell by Kinley's darting eyes that she's checking the room for her next prey. She's gotta be running out of new subjects for her experiment by now. Just then, JR sees us and hurries over.

Hey pretty ladies, what's your poison tonight?

Wow, that's a line I haven't heard before, I think dryly. Hey JR. We're just here to hang out, keep it low key before school starts in a couple of weeks.

Yeah, low key. Good luck with that one Ellie. He worms his way over to Kinley and puts his arm around her, Hey Kinley, wanna meet me upstairs in 20 minutes?

Been there, done that JR. How about you go upstairs in 20 minutes and if I can't find anything better to do, I'll be there, she says winking.

Have it your way ladies. I'm off to welcome my other pretty visitors, and with that JR walks away.

Total 6, Ellie. Stay away from that one, she says, her eyes still on JR. Let's grab a drink from the kitchen, Kinley says as she walks towards the back of the house.

Once we have drinks in hand, the real scoping out begins. Looks like the same crowd as usual. There are the jocks with the pretty girls, the nerdy ones off in the corner, the alternative kids checking out the music on somebody's iPod, and a few who just circulate the whole room non-discriminately. I think Kinley and I fall into this group. She will talk to just about anybody and since I pretty much stick with her, I do as well.

After about 20 minutes of listening to non-stop babble about whether or not our football team is any good this year, I tell Kinley I've got to go to the bathroom.

Just come with me Kin, I plead.

I'll be right here Ellie. Just find me when you get back, she brushes me off. I'm pretty sure I'm going to come back to find her missing, but my pea sized bladder is not relenting on me here.

Ok fine. But no disappearing! I demand. She just smiles sweetly like that's the most absurd thing I've ever said.

Fifteen minutes later! Yes, you read that right. Apparently only one bathroom was open and there was some hysterical chick in it that wouldn't get out. I was about to go all crazy ape bananas on her if she didn't open the door and I lost my bladder like a 3 year old. After lots of begging and pleading, the tear streaked heartbroken mess opened the door for me. Whew! Just made it. Now to get back to Kinley.

I head back into the living room and she's nowhere in sight. The group we were talking with is gone too so I'm guessing she went somewhere with them. I walk over to the French doors and look out onto the patio but I don't see them out there either. Well great, no disappearing, right. Now what's a girl to do? I send her quick text.

**thx for not disappearing hooker! where r u?!!**

After a couple of minutes, still no response. Well, I'm not about to sit down here by myself. I decide to head upstairs where it's quieter to wait for her.

**headed upstairs. come find me!**

This is one of those houses that seems to have an endless set of closed doors upstairs to pick from. The hard part is, if it's quiet you think that's a good one…but then you open it up to find some half naked, over sexed couple groping each other on the bed, a vision you won't be able to get out of your mind any time soon. Not good. I'm trying to get away from the noise downstairs so picking a room that has a ton of noise behind the door isn't my pick either.

Ok, well I'm going to go with odds here and pick the farthest one down the hall. Surely, if teenagers were looking to makeout they would grab the closest door they could find, right? Right. My pick is perfect, it's dark and there doesn't seem to be anybody in here. I'll just wait here until Kinley resurfaces from whoever's face she is sucking right now.

2. ANOTHER WORLD (Jesse)

Seriously?!? I feel like I've been dropped into the Twilight Zone. Who has a soundproofed music recording room in their house? No one from back home that's for sure.

We've been in Malibu for a little over a month and although I've met a few friends, I still feel like a fish out of water most of the time. My family moved here from Anaheim after my mom was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. The only doctor that gave us any hope that she could beat it was all the way out here in Malibu. Luckily, my dad, a math teacher, was able to fill an opening at the local high school after some old bag retired last year. And, with that, he packed us all up and moved us to Malibu so we could be closer for her bi-weekly doctor appointments. Hey, if it will be easier on my mom, I’m all for it.

Miles wise it's not that far from where I grew up, but it might as well be Mars compared to what I know! Back home my parents faithfully made mortgage payments on our little 3 bedroom house that was considered pretty decent sized. Mom got sick and we had to sell it in order to