Wolfman Owner's Manual

By Tim Forder

I was a world famous big game hunter, until one of my kills pulled a Lazarus on me changing my life by turning me into a Wolfman. As a new Lycanthropic, I had the great fortune of being educated into my new lifestyle. Not all are so lucky.

The process of becoming a werewolf can be frightening, leaving one feeling cursed. Well, you re not cursed. I wrote this Wolfman Owner s Manual for those who have just became one of the honored, or is thinking of becoming one of the honored, or for those who just want to know more about werewolves.

The Wolfman Owner s Manual contains vast knowledge of the werewolf lore; from properly adjusting to your new life style to its fullest enjoyment; from history to werewolf myths and a lot more!

The Werewolf Owner s Manual is peppered heavily with personal experience as well as experiences gathered from interviewing other changelings.

When you were born, your parents most likely wished you came with an owner s manual. Suddenly, you have awakened naked and fearing you have killed. You have vague memories of wolfman from an old movie, and you wish you could have a werewolf owner s manual: Well, here it is!

WARNING: This book has some bite to it. Read it if you dare!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Melange Books, LLC
• Release date: May 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781612358741

Tim Forder

I was born and raised in Maryland, USA. It's my mother's theory that I get my love of horror and fantasy from being born just a couple of blocks from the gravesite of Edgar Allen Poe in Baltimore!I'm a very happy family man. My family consists of a beautiful wife (Dawn), a creative teenage daughter (Ellie), sister-in-law (Chris) (live-in), Seeing Eye dog and daughter's rabbit.For some years now, I have been losing my eyesight to RP (retinitis pigmentosa). If you need someone to talk to about coping with vision loss or Seeing Eye dogs, feel free to contact me on Facebook.I have been a huge fan of the horror and fantasy genre, especially the older material, since my pre-teen years. I was introduced to the genre by the family sitter. Sue and I had an agreement; if I didn't beat up on my sister, I could watch Creature Feature with her, which was past my bedtime and after my sister went to bed. I will never forget Sue Greenspan's words of wisdom, "Remember, what you see in the movies is only make believe and can't hurt you." Years later, when my buddies and I would go see Hammer Horror movies at the local theatre, I would sit in my seat laughing at my friends as they tried to take cover from the horror on the screen! Sue Greenspan, if you are reading this, thank you for many fun-filled hours with my monsters!I wrote a thesis on Dracula in college that was picked as the year's best work. I was given the honor of reading the thesis to the class, and by sundown, the paper was both famous and infamous around campus! As a result, on campus, instead of "Tex," (because of my flare for western hats) I became "The Vampire."I have been a bookworm from my early years. I still consume books like food, but since I am blind, most of my books are provided by The Congressional Talking Book program. They provide books on special cassettes or the (newer) digital books for the visually handicapped.

Book preview

Wolfman Owner's Manual

by Tim Forder

Published by

Melange Books, LLC

White Bear Lake, MN 55110

www.melange-books.com

Wolfman Owner's Manual, Copyright 2014 Tim Forder

ISBN: 978-1-61235-874-1

Names, characters, and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States of America.

Cover Design by Stephanie Flint

WOLFMAN OWNER'S MANUAL

by Tim Forder

I was a world famous big game hunter, until one of my kills pulled a Lazarus on me—changing my life by turning me into a Wolfman. As a new Lycanthropic, I had the great fortune of being educated into my new lifestyle. Not all are so lucky.

The process of becoming a werewolf can be frightening, leaving one feeling cursed. Well, you’re not cursed. I wrote this Wolfman Owner’s Manual for those who have just became one of the honored, or is thinking of becoming one of the honored, or for those who just want to know more about werewolves.

The Wolfman Owner’s Manual contains vast knowledge of the werewolf lore; from properly adjusting to your new life style to its fullest enjoyment; from history to werewolf myths and a lot more!

The Werewolf Owner’s Manual is peppered heavily with personal experience as well as experiences gathered from interviewing other changelings.

When you were born, your parents most likely wished you came with an owner’s manual. Suddenly, you have awakened naked and fearing you have killed. You have vague memories of wolfman from an old movie, and you wish you could have a werewolf owner’s manual: Well, here it is!

WARNING: This book has some bite to it. Read it if you dare!

ACKNOWLEGEMENTS

I would like to thank my creative daughter Ellie for shooting and improving the author photo!

I thank my whole family for your support in this endeavor.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE: Becoming a Wolf Man

CHAPTER TWO: To Kill or Not to

CHAPTER THREE: The Wolf Man

CHAPTER FOUR: Werewolf Economics

CHAPTER FIVE: History of Were Wolves

CHAPTER SIX: Medical Conditions That Mimic Lycanthropy

CHAPTER SEVEN: Wolf Man Hunters

CHAPTER EIGHT: How to Kill a Wolf Man

CHAPTER NINE: Werweolves Around the World

CHAPTER TEN: A Little Werewolf Humor

About the Author

Previews

INTRODUCTION

So you think you’re a werewolf. Let’s see ... you are waking up some mornings with no clothes on and with no memory of the night before. First, check if there is a correlation between the cycle of the full moon and your blackouts. If your blackouts are happening during the cycle of the full moon (and only during the cycle of the full moon) then you may be a werewolf.

If these blackouts are happening during nights other then the cycle of the full moon, then I suggest you cut back on your boozing.

If these blackouts are occurring only during the cycle of the full moon, and you awaken naked the morning after and feeling the residue of the night’s wildness, you may be a werewolf. If this seems to be the case, and you are asking, How did I become a wolf-man? I suggest you read Chapter One: Becoming a Wolf-man.

If following these blackouts, you awaken wondering if you have killed during the night, or if you feel a compulsory need to skim newspapers and watch the local news for reports of missing or mutilated bodies that may have occurred during your blackouts, you should read Chapter Two: To Kill Or Not To Kill.

If your blackouts occur during the cycle of the full moon, and you are looking through the local news for reports for brutal deaths during your periods of blackouts, you are most likely freaking out with painful thoughts such as, Oh no, I have the curse of the werewolf! Let’s get this misconception out of the way right now. If you are a wolf-man, you are not cursed! Movies and books always carry on about the wolf-man’s curse. That is movie-drama nonsense. You are only as cursed as you make yourself and your condition. Read Chapter Three: The Wolf-Man Curse.

You are massively hairy to the point of having everyone who looks at you exclaim, Wolf-man, Wolf-man... but you don’t have blackouts on or off the cycle of the full moon and you’re always hyper-hairy. You might start to wonder if everyone else is correct. I’d suggest you read Chapter Six: Medical Conditions That Mimic Lycanthropy, Section: Hypertrichosis.

Throughout this book I will endeavor to illustrate my points with personal experiences from my life and shared experiences from other wolf-men I have interviewed. Wolf-men are very solitary by nature, unless they are a member of a family pack (hereditary) or part of a tribal nation. There are no wolf-man conventions or a wolf-man version of AA. So where do these shared experiences come from? Wolf-man Web sites.

I have even interviewed and been interviewed by Werewolf Hunters. If you are a Wolf-man, you should definitely read Chapter Seven: Wolf-Man Hunters.

Now that you have read the chapter or chapters that answer your greatest concerns, please allow me to suggest starting over from the first chapter and learn all that you can learn.

About the Author

In the late 1800s and early 1900s, I was quite the renowned big game hunter. My exploits took me pretty much around the world, Africa, North and South America, throughout Europe and Austria. I will endeavor not to go into too much detail of my first life, as I have a new life and now enjoy my hunting in the form of a wolf. (NOTE. First life. Being immortal: Eventually you will have to make arrangements to fake your death and start over, so as to seem mortal or live like a hermit so you need not hide your lack of aging.)

As I have said, I had made something of a name for myself, as I was pompous enough to actually have a chronicler put my exploits to paper. I could find my name not only in newspapers around the world, but also in magazines and Penny Dreadfuls at any given time.

So of course, when Central Europe had a breakout of wolf attacks from an over population of wolves, and the locals couldn’t handle it, they called in yours truly! After years of hunting animals like lions, tigers and grizzly bears, hunting wolves was not that intriguing. I might have passed the whole thing up if it wasn’t for the news clippings that came with the request. Most of the clippings went on about how amazingly clever these wolves were. Any person who sighted the beast claimed the beast to be at least twice the size of an ordinary wolf. I should have paid more attention to the last news clipping: A farmer claimed to have shot at a wolf that was after his livestock. He claimed that the wolf, after being shot at, ran off ... upright on two legs, much like a man. The farmer claimed that the poacher had a face very wolf-like and ran with the speed and agility of an animal, but on two legs—like a wolf-man. I really should have paid more attention to that news clipping, but I had never heard of wolf-men, werewolves, etc... Remember, this was fifty plus years before Universal Studios put out the low budget B-movie The Wolf Man. I just gave no credibility to the last newspaper clipping.

Later, even with proof, I failed to believe in werewolves until it was too late. I had no interest in verifying this farmer’s outlandish story of shooting a wolf-man.

What got me hooked were all the clippings about how clever and large these wolves were. I was so intrigued I took on the job of hunting and depopulating these European wolves, not to hunt mythical werewolves that only exist in folktales.

Months later, I was on the hunt killing wolves in Central Europe. I was killing or as some would say bagging them faster than they could be bagged. Unfortunately, all the wolves I was finding were just common European gray wolves. I found nothing unusual about either their cleverness or their size.

One night, after a long and successful day at the hunt, I spotted a wolf silhouetted in the moonlight on a distant mountain ridge. Using my Winchester .405 with scope attachment, I dropped the beasty in