Glorious

By Billy Wong

A brutally violent comedic fantasy with a wannabe butt-kicking heroine.

Ever since she glimpsed Virgil the Champion as a little girl, Gloria knew he was the only one for her. She spends her life dreaming of him, drawing his adventures and trying to teach others to "walk the path of champions." When she gets a chance to watch him fight in a tournament, she eagerly does so only to see him lose to the best warrior in the kingdom. Unable to accept this, Gloria vows to avenge his honor by learning his style in order to defeat his opponent. And so the delusional fangirl begins an unpredictable journey that will change her life, and the world...

A novella.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Billy Wong
• Release date: Feb 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311164094

Billy Wong

Billy Wong is an avid fan of heroic fantasy, with a special love for strong female warriors. He draws inspiration from the epic legends of old, and is on a quest to bring over the top deeds and larger than life heroes back to prominence in today's literary world.Billy lives in Coney Island, Brooklyn and as one can see from the picture, works as a ninja.A Chinese ninja.

Book preview

GLORIOUS

by Billy Wong

Smashwords Edition

GLORIOUS Copyright © 2015 Billy Wong

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the Author. Your support of author’s rights is appreciated.

All characters in this compilation are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Credits and author page

Sample of The Golden Dawn

Chapter 1

Luther grinned as he struck the black-armored blonde again, snapping her head back. Astrid was considered the best warrior in the nation with her wicked curved sword in hand, but without it her relative lack of size and strength put her at a disadvantage. Pinned against the bed in her own room, she could do nothing while huge fists thudded into her face, bending her back over it. A final haymaker made her tumble to her back. He hit her once more, then stopped. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her bloody mouth wide open in pain.

He knelt and grasped her face. So you're done, eh?

No... she whispered, and tried to raise her hands. Another vicious punch made her body jerk and her arms fall back down.

You're always wasting so much time and money painting your face and nails, Luther said to her limp form, "brushing your long beautiful hair, and getting all the attention while us men just toil and train. But it looks like I've finally exposed who doesn't deserve to be called the greatest warrior. His smile widened. You look pretty when you're unconscious, though. He stood and unbuckled his pants. Maybe I should-"

She kicked him in the knee hard, sending him facefirst to the floor. Enraged, he grabbed her hair and blasted punches into her face which pulped her features. But then she hit him in the throat, forcing him to let go as he choked and gagged. She stood and kicked him in the teeth, rolling him to his back.

So you men never waste time or money on excessive drink, gambling, or whores? she snapped, stomping on his gut. You complain about my feminine vanity, but whose vices affect performance in battle more? Besides, I work as hard as anyone. I just don't sleep.

He pulled a drawer out of the nearby cabinet and threw it at her head, making her step back while she blocked, and stood. Efficient little fighter, but it won't save you. They traded punches, Astrid holding her own though each blow sent a shudder through her whole body. Admirable determination, he had to admit. She surprised him by jumping at him and elbowing his head, then doubled him up with a spinning kick to the gut. She put him in a headlock and placed a foot in front of his as if to trip him and drive his face into the ground.

Luther shoved her away. He ran after her and kneed her in the gut when she turned, driving the breath from her. He followed up with a barrage of body blows, then a hook to the chin. Her eyes rolled up. When she crumpled this time, he fed her several more punches. She kicked him back, tried shakily to stand. But then she collapsed again, limbs spreading out, and lay flat. He kicked her. She didn't move at all; not even her open hands tensed.

Finally finished, he said, and pulled down his pants.

Her index finger started to curl, moving ever so slightly. He got on top of her and kept punching. When he was completely sure she was helpless, then he would rape her. She might be dead by then. Suddenly, he felt something grip his member. What? No...

The thing—her hand—pulled, and unimaginable pain filled his groin and exploded through his lower body. He looked down and saw spurting blood, and... and... nothing above his balls where there should have been. The agony was so great he felt faint, but he glanced towards the woman who had done this to him now crawling towards her sword and rage coursed through him. He wanted not only to kill her, but cut off her tits and hang them on his wall. However, a rush of dizziness made him realize survival was more important. Holding up his pants with one hand, clutching the void where his manhood had been with the other, he fled.

#

Jessup entered Astrid's room to behold a shocking sight. The greatest fighter in the country and his friend sat crying against the wall, hugging her sword. Blood covered her grossly swollen face, which looked crooked as if the bones in it had been shattered by a mace. He ran to her side, heart pounding. What happened to you? Are you all right?

Getting the words out between sobs, she replied, Do I look all right? Luther tried to rape me.

Fury mixed with confusion in Jessup's mind. Tried? Why didn't he?

I made him run away. He noticed there was no blood on her sword. That Astrid could still drive Luther off with her bare hands, after taking what must have been a beating that would kill most men, made him so impressed with her. Thus, her next words shocked him. I feel like a fraud. You call me the strongest warrior, but today I felt so weak and helpless. Maybe I'm just a weak woman after all.

What?! You won the fight. And Luther's the strongest man in the army!

She met his gaze with despondent eyes. He had me, Jessup. I was defenseless. If I didn't take advantage of his weakness, I would have been raped and died.

You weren't really defenseless if you ended up defending yourself though, were you? Astrid didn't respond, and Jessup felt a hint of annoyance intrude on his concern. How perfectionistic a warrior could this girl be, to lose confidence from a fight she'd won? But another look at her face canceled out any misgivings he felt. She was badly hurt, and it was completely understandable for her to be traumatized by today's events.

As he picked her up and carried her to get help, though, he already imagined how he could restore her pride and make her feel good about herself again.

#

Walking through the market towards home after a good day of shopping for drawing supplies, Gloria saw a burly man slap his young son and scowled. Such crudeness from a big mean man, and it was almost certain the kid didn't deserve such harsh treatment! Stop! she yelled. That is not the way to teach children.

Oh? the man spat, turning small, squinty eyes on her. And who are you to tell me how to raise my son? Mind you own business, little bitch.

"So you hit children and insult women! You are not a good man, and don't walk the path of champions!"

Great. You've seen me for a minute and you can already judge my character. Very insightful. The boy started crying loudly. The man slapped him again.

I said stop that!

Yeah? And what are you going to do about it if I don't?

Gloria paused. I-I don't know. But what you're doing is not the way of champions!

Excuse me, what is this way or path of champions you're talking about again?

Uh, um... it's the right way to act and inspire others to act in a good way as well! You're not setting a good example by hitting your son. Do you want him to hit children when he's grown up? You're teaching him to be a bully, a coward, and a villain. A champion leads by example, and does things to show others how to live and how to be a champion!

The man lowered his gaze, seemingly ashamed. When you put it that way, maybe I was wrong. Come back home when you're ready, boy. He turned and walked away.

When the father was out of sight, Gloria raised a fist to the sky and proclaimed, Another victory for justice and the way of champions!

The boy still stood there, and said meekly now, I think I deserved to get hit. I beat up a girl.

Gloria stared. You what?

I beat up a girl. We were play fighting with sticks and she accidentally scratched me on the cheek. So I jumped on her and punched some of her teeth out.

Well that's not nice. That was a very bad thing you did. You realize if you don't change, you're likely going to grow up to be a nasty criminal ruffian?

He frowned. I know, that's what Dad tells me. But how can I change? I have a terrible temper. I'm always getting into fights.

Well, the next time you feel like fighting, how about you review the situation first and think if it's worth fighting over? She noticed his scabbed up, calloused knuckles. You have big fists for your age. I bet you hurt those other kids pretty badly when you fight, huh? He nodded. So maybe you should save your great strength, and only use it for a worthy cause when you need to fight for justice.

Maybe some of the fights I get into, I don't have to.

She smiled. See? Now that you realize that, you can begin improving yourself and take the first steps onto the path of champions.

The boy broke out into a wide grin. The path of champions? That sounds so great. Are you a warrior or something?

She considered her frilly dress and delicate boots. Well, she supposed female warriors dressed like women sometimes too. Still, No, I'm no warrior. But I suppose you could say I'm a scribe of warriors.

That's neat too. Thanks, lady! From now on I'm going to be a better boy for sure! And I'm going to tell all my friends about the path of champions! He ran off.

Gloria turned back towards home with a huge smile. She felt so, so good. Two people taught to act better and follow the path of champions! She felt like drawing something different in her book today. Maybe instead of another battle, she would depict

Reviews for Glorious

[julianng-1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

* I received this from Billy Wong on LibraryThing in exchange for an honest review. **This will also be posted on I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't finish this. I tried for three days, even forced myself to continue, but I just couldn't. I really hate giving bad reviews but like others, I felt like this book was a letdown. At first, I was really looking forward to this short novella because I wanted something that was funny and easy and light and short. I didn't get that. At all. Nothing was funny, and it was so unrealistic and childish. I feel like it should be a book for children instead, taking out the attempted rape and bad language. Honestly, I cringed a lot, and I just couldn't stand most of the characters, as they were flat and all acted like little children with anger and bullying issues; people who can't stand being wrong and then through a hissy fit. And the youngest was supposedly 17. I couldn't find anything good about them. Especially Gloria. Gloria. basically, wishes to avenge The Champion (whom she is completely obsessed with and fantasizes about on a daily basis) after his friend Astrid (the greatest warrior and also the Princess) beats him in a match. Gloria basically put The Champion on a golden pedestal and said 'he's the greatest being ever and no one can beat him!' so when he was defeated right before her, she decided to avenge him by challenging Astrid. She is so childish, so selfish, and I just can't stand her. All she can think about is being greater and better than everyone else, and she refuses to see the truth even when it is right in front of her. She easily annoyed me. And that just made the book less enjoyable. There was so much potential, and it just didn't have what it could have to be a better read. I apologize if I offend anyone or seem too harsh.

[cyoder44 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is not a genre I usually read, with swords and dragons and such, but after reading a little bit, I started to enjoy it. It has a slightly tongue-in-cheek feel that I liked. The heroine is a young woman who is determined to be a great warrior. Through a series of coincidences, she winds up thinking she is much better than she actually is, which gets her into some tense situations.

[ml1larson · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review, and I'd say that's about what this book is worth. I requested it specifically, because the premise sounded silly and kind of fun. A young girl sees her favourite warrior defeated in the ring, and vows to avenge him. I wasn't expecting anything heavy, or even overly serious with this one, but I had expected it to at least be fun. Unfortunately, this book soured itself for me with the opening passage describing a brutal and violent attempted rape. I almost put it down right there, but I decided to power through.I found this book extremely confusing, in more ways than one. The characters are all very flat, and either have an agenda to prove some Valuable Life Lesson, or to be the person to serve as at example. When someone's wrong, it only takes a few sentences of sanctimonious soap-boxing for them to admit they're wrong and change their ways. Because of this, the tone and narrative style seems like something you'd find in a children's novel at a grade school book fair. The language and that above-mentioned scene obviously show that this is not the case. I also couldn't figure out for the life of me when this story is meant to take place. It's a sword and sorcery novel, complete with farting dragons, but everyone in this story sounded like a modern kid with a cell phone. Maybe that's an artefact of the style, but it put me right off. Perhaps if the author eschewed the rape and the language, this book could be successful in the 8-12 market. But as a book for adults, it fails pretty hard.

[dcttr · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Characters: I don't really know what to say here. I opened this book thinking that the characters would be at least decent... no... it felt like I was reading a book about a bunch of 10-12 year olds with anger and bullying issues. And that was just in the first three chapters, the last three chapters were even worse than that. The way they acted and talked was just ridiculously childish, and the youngest of the characters was supposed to be 17. I couldn't wrap my mind around it, it was so silly. Not to mention it felt like these characters were completely 100% flawed. I couldn't see a single thing about them that was good. I'm all for characters not being flawless, but it was no better as the complete opposite. I felt like the only characters I didn't have a problem with were Jessup and Clarissa. And poor Clarissa...Plot/Content: This plot had so much, and I mean sooooo much, potential. It was about a girl who wanted to prove to her hero what she could do in his name. But not once does it ever seem she is actually doing it for him. It's really just her wanting to be greater than everyone else at almost everything.Setting: Apparently there is no good people in this world or who actually honor what they value. It was just kind of a blah setting without really intriguing aspects. I don't have much to say about the setting, I would have loved to have been more informed.Other: It was a short read, so it had one good thing about it. I was really looking forward to this short novella because I wanted something that was funny, but I didn't even laugh once. I don't even know if I cracked a smile. If I did laugh, it was because of the unrealistic silly childishness about this book. It would have been more entertaining if it had been about a bunch of kids that had great adventures (I probably would have given it three stars then). Instead it was about a bunch of adults who couldn't act like their age. I really hate giving this a bad review but I felt like this book was a letdown.*Note: I received this free from LibraryThing and Billy Wong in exchange for an honest review.

[greymith · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Interesting concept of a heroine who lives in a fantasy world where her beliefs trumps the truths of reality related to her favorite idol and the champions she interacts with, as well as her own abilities. I was turned off by the opening scene which was unnecessarily graphic and violent, but was also poorly written and assumed the reader understood some fighting terms. Overall, I thought the concept interesting, but kind of silly at the same time as the lead character was pretty deluded throughout most of the story. In the end, the lead character realizes the truth and actually becomes accomplished enough to achieve her previous beliefs. Overall the storytelling was pretty rough. There were numerous instances of misspelled word and sentences that had extra word or missing words. I would have said this was a great entry levels story, except the author has numerous stories listed on his site. More polish is needed on this one.

[deshanya · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Have you heard the phrase, 'so bad, it's almost good'? Well, that's this story in a nutshell.If I considered this story as a humorous parody, it'd lose points for not being funny, but win for being a truly successful parody. It's so serious about the genre it's parodying, while being so completely not an example of that genre at all. Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure that this was the author's intention.In this story, a deluded fangirl is so obsessed by a champion that she swears to avenge him when he's struck down in a tournament. She's serious about this, and pursues the champion until he agrees to train her, taking the equivalent of steroids to get stronger, while not particularly getting all that much better. She renames herself from Gloria to Glorious, but the world knows her as Oblivious, a joke character. Only there is no joke. SPOILER ALERT! After her village gets burned down, she gets serious about the fighting business and becomes an acceptable substitute for a warrior. And that's that. She's learned her lesson and become what she intended to be in the beginning, the end.The end? The bloody end? ::sigh:: I really would have been much happier with this book if it had either taken itself seriously the whole way or gone full-out parody, rather than lurking in between the two, and failing at both.I received an electronic copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[gunnargrey · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An epic fantasy novella that reminds me somewhat of Robert Bevan's slapstick, helpless-giggling-type humor, only without the bodily fluids. It took me a bit to get into the story and characters, but once in, I couldn't stop, either reading or laughing. Emphasize the humor more in the blurb, Billy Wong; the other reviewers just aren't getting the idea here. This one would also be appreciated by fans of Benjamin Wallace's Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors: A Duck & Cover Adventure.Please note that the element of violence is part of the humor, rather like a fight between the Three Stooges. Wish Amazon's new rating provided room for that caveat.Four rousing stars.