A Constant Reminder

By Lolah Lace

A Constant Reminder is a controversial interracial BWWM romance. This novel is approximately 70,000 plus words long.
Adam Hardwick was lost and angry. He felt alone in a world he created. His life was headed in the wrong direction and this caused him to reluctantly disappear from society. Now that he’s reappeared Adam meets Roxanne Potts and their lives are forever changed. Coincidence brings them together but secrets may tear them apart. As hard as they try, Adam and Roxanne won’t be able to hide their secrets forever. Through the pain, the love and the lies, there is only the truth. Will their love survive the demons of the past and the damage it has caused? Or will the truth destroy their chance at true happiness? This is a controversial story about rehabilitation, redemption and forgiveness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lolah Lace
• Release date: Feb 15, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310038082

Lolah Lace

Lolah Lace is a best selling author of Erotic Romantic Fiction in various sub genres. She currently resides in the Chicagoland area. She started her writing career as a teleplay and screenplay writer before switching gears and tackling a novel. She spends most of her spare time reading and watching ridiculous amounts of TV. She is passionate about writing and has a wealth of unfinished books she plans to finish. Although she has been writing for years, Let's Play Ball is her first erotic interracial romance book. She decided to make it into a series of seven books called Balls To The Walls Erotica Series. Lolah Lace is currently hard at work writing the sequel to La Femme Selita and the highly anticipated The Truth Behind The Lies Book 2. For the latest news, freebies and exclusive offers sign up to her newsletter at http://eepurl.com/bsmAGf

Book preview

PROLOGUE

Dear Members of the Parole Review Board;

I am writing on behalf of my son Adam Winchester Hardwick, inmate #3775940. I would implore you to grant parole to Adam Hardwick when he appears before you at his parole hearing scheduled on the 22nd of April.

I fully understand the severity of the terrible mistakes my son made in his youth. Mistakes that were unlawful and that negatively affected the lives of many people and resulted in the death of an innocent man. I understand that his actions had consequences that put him in the penal system.

I pray each night for my son and for those he harmed with his criminal actions. Adam is a good person who is very sincerely sorry for what he has done. While in prison my son has willingly taken part in prison reform programs, rehabilitation therapy, group therapy and religion courses. While in prison he has also finished college, receiving a Bachelor’s degree in accounting.

If he is granted parole he has the full support of his family. We are prepared to help him integrate himself back into society as a productive law-abiding citizen. My son has assured me that he has absolutely no plans to return to prison or the lifestyle that landed him in there. He just wants the opportunity to prove that he has changed his life around and has become a better man. He has repeatedly expressed his sorrow and regret for his past recklessness and criminal actions.

He and I both thank you for your time and consideration.

Mrs. Jane Hardwick

CHAPTER 1

There was hard rock music blasting throughout the college dormitory halls. The door to one dorm room was closed with the sole purpose of drowning out the music. It was a dimly lit room where Daniel was trying to study for his mechanical engineering exam.

Daniel Hardwick was tall and thin with just an adequate amount of muscle. He was a young white guy with blonde hair and wireframe glasses. He sat at his computer desk with his headphones around his neck. He had a highlighter marker in his hand. His computer screen was blank but there were opened textbooks and a spiral notebook spread out in front of him.

Daniel was visibly annoyed. His frown conveyed angst befitting a high school teenager, not a college senior. He pointedly turned in his swivel chair to gawk at the guy standing directly behind him, a guy he knew all too well, a guy who had been pissing him off for the last three years, his younger brother Adam.

Adam had a similar build as Daniel’s. He also had the same pure blonde hair and gray-blue eyes. They justly bared a strong resemblance. It was obvious they were brothers.

Daniel knew exactly why Adam was there. It was the same story over and over. He had grown tired of his brother constantly begging him for money.

Daniel could see that Adam was aggravated with him and the feeling was mutual. Adam had a gall that sickened Daniel. His coming here took a lot of nerve. Daniel didn’t care anymore. The hard-luck stories had become commonplace. His brother had become a nuisance, a stranger, a mouse on a spinning wheel.

He just wanted Adam out of his dorm room and out of his life for good. Maybe not for good but at least until he got his act together. Seeing Adam in this disastrous state was painful for Daniel.

I just need a two-piece, Adam asked.

Daniel didn’t even know what that meant. Adam. The only unprofaned word Daniel could mutter. What the hell was a two-piece? He questioned his own intellect.

I’ll pay you back. Adam pleaded as he rocked back and forth shifting his weight from one foot to the next. Daniel had heard that cock and bull story before. He knew Adam would never pay him back.

With what? You don’t have a job. You smell like shit. You look like shit.

I got this thing coming up. I’m going to come into some money real soon.

Bullshit. Look, Adam, I don't have any money. Daniel roared. He had really reached his limit with his little brother. His previous disappointment had manifested into instant anger.

Just outside Daniel’s dorm room door was Tony Demarco. Tony was leaning on the wall, loitering and waiting around for Adam. Tony was a good-looking Italian guy with dark features and a sinister looking goatee. He puffed on a cigarette and blew smoke about the hallway.

He was growing tired of waiting for Adam. He knew this trip will probably be futile and a sure-fire waste of gas.

His buddy Adam thought he could get a few dollars out of his brother. Adam was the only friend Tony had that could party hard for days at a time. Tony liked Adam’s company and he had to admit Adam was funny and carefree. He didn’t give a damn. Hanging with him was better than partying alone.

Tony knew he was tweaking hard. It had been a long time since he had a hit. Getting high was the only thing he wanted to do at this moment. He knew Adam was tweaking too. He hoped Adam could stay coherent enough to actually get some cash from Daniel. Adam would sometimes get violent when he was crashing. He needed him to be cool to get the cash.

If Adam couldn’t get any money Tony knew he was going to have to steal the money. He was going to have to mug someone, anyone. He needed to get high like yesterday. His body required it. His body desired it. His body couldn’t function without it.

Tony decided to go to the parking lot and wait in the van. He wasn’t allowed in Daniel’s dorm room. Daniel loathed Tony but Tony didn’t care. Tony thought it was hilarious. Daniel thought Tony got Adam hooked on smack but that was far from the truth. He knew rich people were always looking to blame someone when things went wrong. Tony was content on the cheap stuff until Adam scored the best skag with his connections.

Tony strutted down the hall hoping the good times were coming soon. He walked past a few dorm room doors and the music grew louder and louder. All of a sudden someone stepped out of an open doorway and slammed right into him.

Tony grabbed the person’s forearms before they could hit the floor. It was a girl, a cute dark chocolate brown girl. The young girl was startled by the encounter. She looked him right into his bloodshot dark brown eyes.

Roxanne Potts was a senior at the college. She was a beautiful black girl with black hair and a flawless complexion. Her thick lips formed into a welcoming smile. She couldn’t help it. The guy holding her arms was fine, bad-boy fine, Orlando Bloom fine.

Tony grinned at her reaction to him. He thought she looked good enough to eat. He was just too cool to ever let it show.

Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going. It's all my fault. She apologetically grinned.

It’s okay Ma, forget about it. No harm done. Tony smirked with his cigarette dangling from his lips. He let go of her forearms and Roxanne felt the separation.

For a minute Roxanne was captivated by his ragged face and cool easy voice. She couldn’t stop smiling and would have blushed if it were possible. She soon snapped out of her trance.

Are you going to the party? It’s down there. Roxanne pointed behind her.

I’m just visiting a friend. Tony took a long hard drag from his cigarette.

You know there’s no smoking in the dorms.

Is that so?

There’s no smoking inside any public building in the entire state, Roxanne informed him in a playful way. It’s the law.

Are you going to call Five-O? Looks like you can keep a secret. Tony gazed down at Roxanne’s breasts in her tight fitted black t-shirt. They were completely covered but that never stopped him before. If only he had X-ray vision he thought.

I can keep a secret. She playfully added.

Tony leaned in close to her. I got a lot of secrets.

Roxanne had the awful truth flash before her eyes. She was being more flirtatious with this stranger because she had been drinking. She would never have engaged in this flirtatious conversation otherwise. I don’t even know this guy. He could be a criminal, a fine criminal. She thought to herself.

Okay see you around. She used her sober judgment although she could see herself kissing the stranger.

I hope so. Tony winked.

Roxanne turned and walked down the dormitory hall. She had consumed a few shots of Tequila at the party and she hoped she was walking straight and not like some drunken college hoe-bag.

Tony watched Roxanne from behind. He was checking her out. He smiled to himself when she disappeared into a dorm room.

I should’ve gone to college. He muttered to himself as he made his way down the hall and to the stairwell.

Back in Daniel’s dorm room, Daniel wondered how could he get Adam to peacefully leave. It was hard enough studying with all the loud music. It was doubly hard with your crackhead brother chomping at your heels.

Daniel had a vision of all the things Adam had stolen from him and the items he stole out of their mother’s house. This was before she changed the locks. It was before she kicked Adam out, before the multiple stints in rehab.

The memories were more than enough to enrage Daniel. Adam was selfish. He never once thought of how difficult it had been for him since their father died. Daniel felt that pain too. He just channeled it in different ways. He didn’t drop out of college like Adam. He didn’t turn to drugs like Adam. He prayed to just be able to cope. He went to church. He immersed himself in his schoolwork. He didn’t turn to drugs.

Daniel took a deep breath. I don’t have any money to give you. I’m not supporting your drug habit. You’re high on something right now.

Adam decided to lie and plead with his brother. I’m not high. He wasn’t high. He was tweaking. I’m hungry. I don’t have any food. I just need a couple of dollars to tide me over until this deal goes through.

A drug deal?

No, not a drug deal. Dude, you’re paranoid. You always think the worst of me.

Go talk to mother, Daniel said it out loud but soon realized that may not be a good idea.

Why would I bother? I’m not going into another rehab. I don’t have a drug problem. I have a money problem.

You have a ton of problems.

I’m just living my life how I see fit. Adam scratched his neck then clawed at his skin on his arm.

Brother for the last time. I’m not giving you any money. Daniel rose from his chair. At six feet three, he was two inches taller than Adam.

Daniel didn’t want to fight his brother. He didn’t want a heated confrontation but he would no longer be one of Adam’s enablers. He and his mother had formed an ironclad pack. They would no longer help Adam by feeding his drug addiction. They would no longer be deemed accessories to Adam’s looming demise.

Somehow Adam knew that his brother was serious this time. There was something in his tone, something in his eyes and something in his body language. His brother wasn’t giving him any money.

Daniel had enough. He had reached his limit. This didn’t stop the anger, rage, and violence that had long bubbled to the surface of Adam's spirit. He wanted to lash out.

Adam balled his fist and held them at his sides. He kicked over the hamper full of dirty laundry that sat beside the door. He wanted to punch his brother in the face because he knew he had money. He just refused to give it to him. It felt like he was really alone this time. A feeling he knew better than any other, a feeling that had taken up permanent residency in his soul, a feeling that wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Adam decided that he would just leave Daniel alone. This was a fight he probably would lose. He knew half these college kids didn’t lock their dorm rooms or their cars. So he decided he would check around the campus to see what spoils he could pinch and be on his merry way.

***

Roxanne was safe and sound in her dorm. She blocked the cute guy in the hall from her mind. She was trying to watch a missed episode of The Vampire Diaries on her small flatscreen TV. This was not ideal especially over the sound of the loud music coming from down the hall. This dorm was only for seniors and the parties were not regular but they were loud.

Her roommate Erika walked in and took a seat next to Roxanne on the bed. Erika was a plain athletic looking girl with golden skin. Her hair was light ash blonde. She wore a curly shoulder-length bob haircut. Erika was oftentimes mistaken for being biracial but both her parents were African American. One of her grandparents was white.

How was the party? Erika asked. She decided not to go. There were too many of her ex-boyfriends and hookups in attendance.

The party was pretty lame. They didn't even have any food but of course, there was a lot of liquor. I'm so hungry. I could eat a pig, a cow, and three roosters.

I could eat something too, Erika added.

You didn’t eat on your date.

Girl you know I can’t eat in front of no cute guy. This was just our second date. Are you going to go out and get something?

Yeah, I’ll pick us up something. The only place open this late is Domino’s Pizza, Taco Bell, and White Castle.

Pizza Pizza let’s order a pizza.

Roxanne finally took her eyes off the television screen. She dug into her blue jean skirt front pocket for money. Erika slapped Roxanne’s hand.

I got you. Erika pulled money from her pocket. She handed over a twenty-dollar bill. Just go pick up the pizza.

Cool, I’m going to the video store and pick up a movie too. Roxanne took the money from Erika.

I will call it in. Erika leapt from the bed. Shit, where’s my cell?

On the desk. Roxanne pointed. Erika’s cell was sitting next to hers.

Roxanne was happy Erika was going to pay for the pizza. Roxanne barely had any money left on her debit card. Being broke was no joke. She was so happy this was her last year of college. She just hoped her car would last long enough for her to graduate and get a good job.

Roxanne’s mother sometimes worked double shifts to help pay Roxanne’s tuition. Grants, loans and Roxanne’s part-time job at the campus library didn’t cover it all.

***

Tony stood alone outside in the warm windy air waiting for Adam. This was taking much longer than he expected. It’s not like he had anywhere to be. He just didn’t fit in on this college campus, with this crowd and in this part of town.

A long piece of Tony’s dark greasy hair fell down into his eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a haircut. When was his last shower? He brushed the hair away with his fingers. He quickly inhaled from his cigarette and blew smoke from his mouth.

He paced somewhat nervously in the small area outside the front of his old beat up blue minivan. He needed to get high. He imagined he could taste the effects of smack as soon as it hit his veins. It tasted better than this damn stale cigarette. He knew that for sure.

Tony decided to just walk around the campus grounds and get his mind off his constant nagging craving for heroin. He was getting a stabbing pain in his gut. He was hungry for either food or smack. He would prefer smack. Maybe his luck would turn. He could check to see if any car doors were unlocked so he could grab the loose change out of the ashtrays and cup holders.

Maybe some of these stupid college kids had some laptops or iPods inside their cars. It was worth a shot. He had randomly found some good electronics in unlocked cars in the past.

CHAPTER 2

Roxanne’s stomach grumbled and growled. She was hungrier than she thought. She had to leave to get the pizza before they closed up shop. She had a quick cup of coffee before she left the dorm. She hadn’t had enough alcohol at the party to impair her driving. Or at least that’s what she thought.

She trotted down the stairwell and to the deserted campus parking lot. She only had her car keys and a small brown and beige purse. It was a gift from her mother and her favorite handbag.

A few gusts of wind blew her wavy hair all over her face. She brushed it back with her fingers. She walked past an old blue minivan that looked out of place. It was just her luck her old Chevy Malibu was parked all the way at the back of the lot. It was in the last row of cars before the dense patch of trees.

It seemed like she was going on a nature hike. That’s how far away from the building she was parked, more than twenty rows into the lot. She didn’t dare count them but one day she said she would.

She saw her car faced outward. She always backed into the parking space when she was in the last row. That was so she could just pull out easy without putting the car in reverse. She opened the car door with her key. The automatic keychain lock had stopped working ages ago.

All of a sudden Roxanne was pushed from behind with a heavy unstoppable force. She fell into the car’s driver’s seat. She was immediately gagged with a hand bearing a black leather glove before she could release a proper scream.

The gloved hand pulled Roxanne from the open car door. She struggled as the person opened her driver’s back door. She was forcefully shoved into the backseat face first. Her face slammed into the upholstery of her backseat.

In her hurried attempt to scream she only let out a muffled hum. She fearlessly fought with her attacker but he easily controlled her small five foot two frame. In the darkness, Roxanne could only see the tan upholstery of her backseat. She could taste the attacker’s leather glove covering her mouth. She tried to scream but his fingers dug deep into her jaws.

Roxanne tried to fight but he was too strong and too heavy. There were only the sounds of her muffled screams. There were only the sounds of the tight struggle. There were the groans of the attacker panting and suddenly the sound of her shirt being ripped from her body. The attacker removed his hand from her mouth and he smashed her head down further into the back seat.

Roxanne fought as hard as she could. She tried to twist and turn. She attempted to fling him off of her body but she was no match for him. His strength and speed was nothing she had ever come up against.

Roxanne’s body gave out and she stopped fighting. She lay very still, dead to the slight of eye. She hoped he would just do it and leave her alive. She prayed silently that he wouldn’t find any reason to take her life. Her mother would die without her. This thought resonated in her heart. She saw her body lying in an ivory casket. Her best friend Erika was looking in her casket crying. Her mother was looking inside her casket crying. Roxanne envisioned looking inside her casket at her own dead body.

She closed her eyes as soon as the tears started to run from the sealed corners. She had blocked him out. With a nudge, she felt him again. She felt his hands roam her body. He was roughly skimming her legs and digging into her skin. His fingers were like talons. She felt she was being defiled by the devil.

She drifted away to another place. This was a place where this wasn't happening and that's when everything ceased to exist, that's when the world grew quiet, calm and numb. That's when she was no longer inside her own body. That was when she died inside a body that was still alive.

***

Erika was lying on her stomach watching The Vampire Diaries. She told Roxanne she wasn’t going to watch the end without her but she lied. She had to see what was going to happen next. She predicted someone would come back from the dead because that was what always happened on

Reviews for A Constant Reminder

[Karen Prince · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was a complicated story and I personally think it was very brave of the author to tackle this kind of sensitive topic that others would shy away from. I found myself somewhat rooting for Adam in the end and I felt for Roxanne throughout the whole story.