Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

By Mark Goulston and Keith Ferrazzi

Do you ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall?

The first step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. But whether the person is a cynical colleague, furious customer, or overwhelmed spouse, their emotional barriers may be blocking your message. And if you can't break through, you can't move forward.

Just Listen has helped tens of thousands of people tear down walls and establish productive communication. In this landmark book, veteran psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals simple, proven techniques for moving people from resistance to consensus, explaining how to:

• Listen effectively
• Make even a total stranger—perhaps a potential client—feel "felt"
• Shift an angry or aggressive person into a calmer, more receptive state
• Use empathy jolts to quickly bridge communication gaps
• Turn negative people into assets using the "Magic Paradox"
• Achieve buy-in, the linchpin of all negotiation, persuasion, and sales
• And more

Barricades between people become barriers to success and happiness, so getting through is not just a fine art—it's a crucial skill. With Just Listen, readers learn how to transform the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into true allies, loyal customers, and lifelong friends.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AMACOM
• Release date: Mar 4, 2015
• ISBN: 9780814436486

Mark Goulston

Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA is a board-certified psychiatrist, fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, former assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA NPI, and a former FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer. He is the creator of Theory Y Executive Coaching—which he provides to CEOs, presidents, founders, and entrepreneurs—and is a TEDx and international keynote speaker. He is the creator and developer of Surgical Empathy, a process to help people recover and heal from PTSD, prevent suicide in teenagers and young adults, and help organizations overcome implicit bias. Dr. Goulston is the author or principal author of seven prior books, including Why Cope When you Can Heal: How Healthcare Heroes of COVID-19 Can Recover from PTSD, PTSD for Dummies, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In, and Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life. He hosts the My Wakeup Call podcast, where he speaks with influencers about their purpose in life and the wakeup calls that led them there. He also is the co-creator and moderator of the multi-honored documentary Stay Alive: An Intimate Conversation About Suicide Prevention. He appears frequently as a human psychology and behavior subject-area expert across all media, including news outlets ABC, NBC, CBS, and BBC News, as well as CNN, Today, Oprah, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Fortune, Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Fast Company, Huffington Post, and Westwood One.

Reviews for Just Listen

[Jesse Hernandez · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was a great book, really helped me with dealing with people at work.

[jagrandhawa · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved this book. It is very practical and easy to read. I will never forget the quote “be more interested, than interesting”. I highly recommend this book if you want to increase your influence and be more persuasive. I know I will be reading this book again.

[amilynnhoward · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book is full of practical tips and activities for understanding & communicating with yourself and others. One particularly great technique describes how-to calm yourself in the event of a crisis. I took many notes while listening to this book and have started practicing the calming technique. I plan on coming back to "Just Listen" again and again.

[amimariscal · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book is full of practical tips and activities for understanding & communicating with yourself and others. One particularly great technique describes how-to calm yourself in the event of a crisis. I took many notes while listening to this book and have started practicing the calming technique. I plan on coming back to "Just Listen" again and again.

[spbooks_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An excellent book on communication based on what the author calls mirror neuron deficit. Very powerful strategies but need wisdom to know when to implement and the avoidance of a mechanical approach. Highly recommend. 

[gshuk_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Excellent book that goes into listening as well as questioning and leading conversations. He goes beyond the standard mirroring and focusing on others that most books on listening suggest. It also included some powerful suggestions on sales lines. On the downside there were parts I would skip for they were a little presumptuous and other parts that I do not agree with. However, there were enough great parts to recommend this book.

[brknhrt_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Are you a good listener? Do you really listen? Even if your answer is yes, you may be surprised when you read this book. In Just Listen, Dr. Mark Goulston uses case studies from his extensive experience as a clinical psychiatrist, business advisor, and FBI/police hostage negotiation trainer. The author gives specific examples of problem solving conversations for managing not only co-workers and employees, but also family members, including teenagers. In the workplace, the author gives details on how listening, questioning, and leading conversations help to motivate and encourage teamwork. There are specific remedies for those problem people in employment situations. I was impressed with the way the author suggested compassionate solutions when investigating the reasons for problem behavior. My favorite story was of a businessman who sought advice on his work situation. It changed his life, not because he used that advice at work, but because he used it in his home. Each section ends with a “Usable Insight” and an “Action Step” with specific ideas for the reader to put the words into action. Just Listen has broad appeal as an instruction book not only for business, but also for personal relationships. Learn about yourself and how you relate with those around you. Transform yourself and those around you.

[tmtrvlr · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Are you a good listener? Do you really listen? Even if your answer is yes, you may be surprised when you read this book. In Just Listen, Dr. Mark Goulston uses case studies from his extensive experience as a clinical psychiatrist, business advisor, and FBI/police hostage negotiation trainer. The author gives specific examples of problem solving conversations for managing not only co-workers and employees, but also family members, including teenagers. In the workplace, the author gives details on how listening, questioning, and leading conversations help to motivate and encourage teamwork. There are specific remedies for those problem people in employment situations. I was impressed with the way the author suggested compassionate solutions when investigating the reasons for problem behavior. My favorite story was of a businessman who sought advice on his work situation. It changed his life, not because he used that advice at work, but because he used it in his home. Each section ends with a “Usable Insight” and an “Action Step” with specific ideas for the reader to put the words into action. Just Listen has broad appeal as an instruction book not only for business, but also for personal relationships. Learn about yourself and how you relate with those around you. Transform yourself and those around you.