Chasing the White Rabbit: Along with Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

By Xavier P. Otter III

Welcome to our adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s - Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland on its 149th Anniversary. Come along as we follow the White Rabbit while he is chased across Wonderland by a young girl named Alice. The White Rabbit, is a bunny in good standing in the community and he has many responsibilities throughout Wonderland. Today he must continually elude this girls attempt to derail both his activities and his reputation.
Tracing the same path that Alice took on her first trip to Wonderland, in November of 1865, we will explain why all the odd events actually occurred.
To give the reader an easy method of looking back on the full events from Alice’s point of view we have included the public domain version of Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland published by The Macmillan Group.

• Language: English
• Publisher: JW Scott
• Release date: Nov 29, 2014
• ISBN: 9780990741749

Book preview

Chapter One - Down the Rabbit-Hole

Oh what a sunny sun in the sky day, the White Rabbit said to himself as he hopped and bopped. Dipping his head, here and there, to taste the beautifully smelling daisies that were growing on this, not his, side of the hill. Hopping and smelling, hopping and smelly smelling in the afternoon sun.

Afternoon? Did you just say ‘afternoon sun’? the White Rabbit asks as he stares out at the author. Oh dear I’ve done it now with all this tasty tasting you had me doing. Now I shall be late and when I rush my excellently tailored waistcoat will get mussed. Or worse, much worse I may lose my lovely oh so lovely, antique pocket watch as I hoppity hop hop and jumpity jump jump back to my hole. He ponders for a moment and then turns and starts hoppity hop jumping. I will take the time, precious short time to go around the hill. For I know with most unconfidently confidence that if I had run down the hill the mean writer man would have me tumbling over, under, down and down, thereafter. Ha-ha not this time! He says poking his little tongue out at the mean writer man.

As he rounds the bottom of the hill he nearly runs into the feet of a giant who is reading a book to a smaller giant. ‘One of the girly girl giants is looking at my pretty pink eyes,’ he thinks as he glances in her direction. Speeding away he sees the girly-girl giant getting to her feet. ‘Oh d-d-dear dear dear’ he thinks, having to decide which hole to take he stands up and pulls his lovely antique watch out of his waistcoat pocket. Excuse me mean writer man, it’s an ‘excellently tailored’ waistcoat pocket, I’d thank you to get that right, Rabbit scolds the mean writer man for his lack of adjective usage. Having to decide which hole to take the White Rabbit stands and takes his lovely antique watch from his excellently tailored waistcoat pocket. Better.

Turning to see the girly-girl giant heading his way the White Rabbit looks at the watch, *Oh dear oh dear I shall be late.* He says. Promptly deciding the fasterest fast hole needed to be taken he commits and jumps in. Tumbling slowly he turns in time to see the girly-girl giant take a jar of marmalade from his shelf. ‘Ah yes, I needed to buy some more jam.’ The girly-girl giant for some reason puts the jar into a cupboard, ‘I hope she put the lid on that jar or it will attract flies and flies always drink all my tea over-staying their welcome’, he thinks to himself as he tumbles.

As he continues his decent, toward the meadow he hears the girly-girl giant begin making loudness the hall of doors. *I wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time? I must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think…* ‘The clever giant was close he thinks, 3963.1676 is the right number of miles, but I would give her that one.’ However, when she starts rambling a bit later about the *‘Antipathie’* who walk around with their heads down; Rabbit decides to turn around. As he does Rabbit sees her curtsying to no one in particular. At that point he decides the radius to the center of the earth was just a lucky guess.

Quietly they continued to plummet for a fair few moments until the clever-girly-girl giant started to ramble again, this time about bats and cats. ‘I am so glad we are almost there this giant is a blithering idiot’, he thought to himself just as he landed. He began running around pulling together a pile of leaves for the blithering idiot-clever-girly-girl giant to land in. Maybe she will leave me alone if I helpity helps her not go squishy squish squish. With that accomplished he began to run to the hall of doors just as he heard the soft landing of the blithering idiot-clever-girly-girl giant. *Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting. He said as he rounded the corner to the room.

‘Jump on the table get the goo drink the goo, the goo, the goo, eww eww why can’t they put less pineapple and roast turkey and more of the cherry tart in this cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast bottle of ‘Drink Me’?’ As he shrunk he stepped over the tiny golden key and hid behind a vase containing a single orange flower and there he watched quietly as the blithering idiot-clever-girly-girl giant removes the tiny golden key off the little three legged glass table. As he watches her walk around the room checking the tiny golden key in each of the doors he thinks, ‘I am going to have to help this silly giant find the little door.’ He hopped over and put the bottle of cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee and hot buttered toast ‘Drink Me’ back in the middle of the little three legged glass table ran to the edge of the little three legged glass table and jumped. ‘Weeeee I love jumping off the little three legged glass table when I am SO small…’ He runs to the little door hidden behind the curtain and uncovers it so the silly-blithering idiot-clever-girly-girl giant can see where the key belongs. I recommend changing, silly-blithering idiot-clever to just simple. But I will not fix your ramblings again! Rabbit said.

On her second pass around the room the simple-girly-girl giant, Better, the White Rabbit says, giving the mean author man affirmation for the change. The simple-girly-girl giant notices the little door and moments later she’s looking through the little door looking at the loveliest garden, almost stepping on him in the process. ‘Holy bunny beans she doesn’t see me down here,’ he thinks as he scampers for cover under the three legged glass table and waits until she walks away from the little door. ‘This is taking too longity long, longer than a late bunny has time to wait. I shouldn’t have helped the taking too long giant, will I ever learn?’ Standing again he puts his paws in his excellently tailored waist coat pockets. Leaning against one of the legs on the three legged glass table while he waits he feels his lovely antique watch in one pocket and a tiny golden key of his very own and his little glass box of currant accented, ‘Eat Me’ in the other.

‘She is finally getting up from the door my chance chika ta chance. I don’t need to use my very own tiny golden key she left the little door open.’ Pulling his paws from his pockets he heard a tinkle, ‘what was that?’ Reaching into one of his pockets he feels his lovely antique watch, I am late! he exclaims as he runs to the little door. ‘Oh my goodness it’s late… really late but the clothes still the not in right clothes … oh dear… thru the little bittle… thru and shut must the shut little door must must… Oh this is such a small rat-hole sized passageway…’

Chapter Two

After emerging from the small rat-hole sized passage into the loveliest garden, the White Rabbit thought, ‘off to my neat little house with a marvelous front door with its bright brass plate which my name is engraved upon.’ And this is what he did, he ran straight to his neat little house with a marvelous front door with its bright brass plate which his name is engraved upon in order to change from his still ‘the not right clothes’ into the proper apparel for the rest of his day. It was while he was removing his waist… Ahem! the White Rabbit interjected. It was while he was removing his excellently tailored waist coat that he exclaimed, The little glass box of currant accented ‘Eat Me’, I has lost, l-l-lost it! Oh biscuits and blithers I must the must go back to the back at the front, to see if I can find it here when I am there. He started to hop ferociously from his changing room. It was then he realized he was as naked as a bunny on birthing day. Rather amicable of you to not embarrass me running outside like this. The White Rabbit said to the amicable-mean author man.

After he finished getting dressed and putting his lovely antique watch into one pocket and the tiny golden key of his very own into the other he started to run back to the hall of doors; stopping briefly to grab the white kid gloves and the fan from his mirror stand in the entryway. With his paws full, he had to run from an upright position which didn’t allow him to proceed at his best pace. I can still run faster than an old fatty fat author man! White Rabbit said incredulously. Besides, I have super-luper-duper dress clothes on; I wouldn’t want to ruin them by hoppity hopping into a Briar Patch. A bit of time later he got back to the small rat-hole sized passage which led to the little door in the hall of doors.

He opened the little door quietly and walked into a seemingly empty room. ‘Where did this not there before lake come from?’ Deciding to not chance his super-luper-duper dress clothes he started to make his way around the not there before lake. Heading for the little three legged glass table to try to find the little glass box of currant accented ‘Eat Me’ he had lost. *Oh! The Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! Won’t she be savage if I’ve kept her waiting?* Not seeing the little glass box of currant accented ‘Eat Me’, he decided the tinkle he heard there must have been something else so he gave up and started back to the loveliest garden.

*If you please sir,* the previously unseen taking too long- simple-girly-girl giant said.

‘She’s had gotten giantier’, White Rabbit thought covering his ears and he violently scurried away from the overpowering voice; in the process he sent his white kid gloves and fan tumbling to the ground. He bolted straight from the room and ran into a mouse who tumbled head long toward the not there before lake. Rabbit then paused briefly to close the door...

The little door. The White Rabbit reminded the old-fatty-fat-amicable-mean author man. Rabbit then paused briefly to close the little door behind him. Adjectives are important you know. He said, as he proceeded through the small rat-sized passage into the loveliest garden. He continued to hoppity hop rushity running away from the overpowering sounds that boomed from giantier-taking too long- simple-girly-girl giant. Reaching the loveliest garden was like reaching Avalon until... plow bam, the White Rabbit hopped directly into a group that was traveling together. This group, which was made up of a Dodo, a Lory, an Eaglet and a Duck had been talking festively about a new lake in the region when the crash occurred.

I say Rabbit, what is it that allows you to believe you can crash into a group of travelers? The Dodo chided.

Come again? I didn’t think… The White Rabbit started.

Don’t take that tone! The Duck said interrupting. How can you possibly excuse your behavior? He… at this point the Duck pointed to the Eaglet. Is a baby. And he… altering the direction his wing was now pointing to the Dodo. Is an extinct creature. And he… Now pointing at the Lory. Is the most ostentatious, flamboyant, kenspeckle, garish bird in all of Wonderland, possibly even Australia. How could you have not noticed him? The Duck asked.

He is blue, gray and green? Besides I didn’t think… Rabbit started again.

And he… The Dodo said interrupting rather pompously. is a Duck! And my friend the Lory is red, yellow, blue, green, orange, white, and purple.

I sea I saw I didn’t saw that, thank you. The White Rabbit replied.

My friends, I had heard rabbits can only see blue and green colored hues. Forgive him. The Lory said.

I apologize honestly, fully, unfully, I had gotten spooked and was violently scurrying toward away from the spooky spooker. The White Rabbit explained.

Excuses are like armadillos… Everyone has one. The Eaglet said.

What? The Rabbit, Duck, and Lory all asked.

Dear Eaglet, while I appreciate your effort; that was not a proper analogy. The Dodo said.

Yes it was! Technically most have two and a lot have four. The Eaglet said, after which he pointed under his wing.

You mean arm pits! The Dodo said.

That’s what I said. The Eaglet replied.

Actually you… Never mind. Rabbit said. I really need to excuse myself.

So long as you do not plan on running over any other travelers to the new lake, the Dodo said.

I will look out for them. The White Rabbit replied.

Be on your way then. The Duck Said.

Chapter Three

As Rabbit started to leave the Dodo, Eaglet, Lory and Duck he looked over at the loveliest garden, later, he thinks longingly. He then heads off toward his neat little house with a marvelous front door that has a bright brass plate which his name is engraved upon, as it was the most direct path to the open place with a little house where Duchess lived. The sunny sun in the sky day was still captivating, yet rabbit knew he had a lot to take care of today. ‘The Duchess, The Hatter, and then the Queen,’ he thought in a loop which was only broken by the delightful musing of eating daisies on the hill. I already did that! Rabbit said angrily at himself as he