Sleeping Better Together: How the Latest Research Will Help You and a Loved One Get a Better Night’s Rest

By Gerhard Klösch

Sleeping with a partner is often difficult: many people suffer from sleep disorders, and others have sleep preferences that can disturb their bedmate. This book is for every couple that has found it difficult to share a bed, argued about his snoring or her restless legs, or woken up to the alarm feeling tired and cranky. The authors first explain how sharing a bed affects sleep quality, well-being, and the happiness of the relationship. They then discuss factors that cause couples' sleep disturbances, from individual preferences to gender differences. They describe the connection between personality traits and sleep habits, and they reveal the ways in which age and aging affect our sleep. Most of all, they offer practical advice on how to sleep better with a partner, including getting-ready-for-bed rituals, the emotional and sexual aspects of sharing a bed, and guidelines for allowing children or pets into bed. The book also includes questions for assessing sleep needs and practical suggestions for ending arguments.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
• Release date: Jul 19, 2011
• ISBN: 9781630265762

Reviews for Sleeping Better Together

[ferdaszewski · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

this book was interesting in a way. Learning about sleep was fascinating, but I was expecting more practical application and suggestions for sleeping better together with my partner. There were a few tidbits here and there, but nothing that was beyond just the basics.So somewhat helpful and interesting, but overall a disappointment.

[asbooks-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I was nicely surprised by this book. I don't think we actually know a lot about why we need to sleep and certainly haven't explored the details of how sleep is different for all of us.This book does a great job of hitting the highlights of the authors' research without lingering too long in any one area. I think everyone that takes the time to read this book will come away with new knowledge on sleeping patterns and how these are affected by gender, relationships, nationality and environmental influences.A well crafted book.

[fogcityite · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I had looked forward to learning some handy tips from this book; my spouse snores and sleeping together doesn't always result in a restful night for both of us. Alas, I found little here that I would carry forward.The book is a translation from the German, and the grammatical errors scattered throughout are distracting. But that is a minor issue.More distressing is the characterizations of men and women. I suspect this is a translation issue, but I felt this book was not addressed to me. If one is interested in learning more about why we sleep, this book is interesting. If one has already done reading on that topic, this book will add little to it, while failing to offer little on the subject promised by the title.

[agru-947819 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book tries to tackle a very common problem among couples and their sleep habits. It does go into the scientific basis of sleep to understand the foundation of sleep and the quandary of the definition of "what is really good sleep". In other words, some define good sleep as how long they sleep versus the quality of sleep and how refreshed they feel in the morning. What is most interesting is the history of how socio-cultural norms have changed over centuries and how sleep differs in various parts of the world. This book concentrates on western society perspectives in general. It does get into boggy details and is redundant at times. The best feature of the book is the bullet point summaries at the end of most chapters offering practical tips for couples to use. Some of the research the authors allude to may surprise regarding the male and female perspective regarding sleeping alone versus together, and how these "norms" are changing over time. If you are a couple complaining about each others sleep, this book can offer some insight and decent pointers.

[glampunk_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I was nicely surprised by this book. I don't think we actually know a lot about why we need to sleep and certainly haven't explored the details of how sleep is different for all of us.This book does a great job of hitting the highlights of the authors' research without lingering too long in any one area. I think everyone that takes the time to read this book will come away with new knowledge on sleeping patterns and how these are affected by gender, relationships, nationality and environmental influences.A well crafted book.

[distortedsmile · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I never honestly thought that a book about sleeping could be so fascinating. The authors explore how different sleeping conditions effect your performance in life and what their impact is on ALL relationships...Not just between male/female romantic relationships, but also relationships with your children, pets and...most importantly, with yourself.Based on large studies done in home environments, these guys couldn't have made sleep more fun to read about.Oh, and your husband's snoring?They can't really help you with that.But they give you some good ideas with how to deal.

[gwendolyndawson · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a nice overview of the research related to sharing a bed with another person, but it's rather superficial. I was hoping for more practical tips. This book is a starting point rather than complete in itself.

[loafhunter13 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The book is put forth in workable language and does a nice job summarizing the research that occurred before the authors published their own work. While those looking for deep analysis of the many issues affecting sleep patterns won't find answers here, the book does a remarkable job touching on the major ideas and presenting them in an everyday style. A very educational book and an enjoyable read.

[michigantrumpet_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was nicely translated from the original German in accessible, friendly language. I had some pre-conceived notions (either from my own experience or that of family and friends) about difficulties sleeping. Some were born out by the findings in this slim volume. In other ways, I was gently and persuasively educated. Found it quite interesting to find that women report far more difficulty sleeping with a partner than do men. While I wish the book had been more prescriptive in dealing with specific issues, there were helpful 'tips' at the end of each chapter. I have already put one such tip into practice. Those with specific issues may not find this book tom have enough detail. However, readers looking for a well written 'primer.' will be well rewarded.

[drmarymccormack · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

As soon as I saw this book was available to review, I was hoping I would get it. I have a horrible problem with sleep and I have been searching for answers for a long time. This is a great layman's book. I've read many more "clinical" books such as the Promise of Sleep (which is excellent, by the way). I really enjoyed the description of what sleep actually is, why we need sleep, the differences between men and women, sleep disfunction, cultural differences in sleep standards, etc. . I thought the author did a great job of helping one figure out what the trouble might be and how to fix it. The author advises many practical and easy things (e.g. how to coordinate bedtimes). I have to admit that I intellectually know all the right things to do but I have trouble finding the motivation to just do it. It's hard to change a lifetime of bad habits. My poor husband, who has to put up with my insomnia, would love it if I finally got it right.

[eo206 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Sleep is something everyone needs, yet very few people truly understand sleep and what it means to feel fully rested. This book explores multiple facets of sleeping-- history, research, cultural aspects of sleep. The opening chapters explore sleep and sleep patterns, cultural and historical aspects of sleep-- different thoughts on sleep throughout history. The middle chapters look at co-sleeping and sleep patterns and problems. The book also includes a chapter devoted to sleeping with babies and pets. The information on sharing a bed with babies was interesting. I've read a lot of books on how to get babies to sleep throughout the night ([no-cry sleep solution], Ferber, etc.) yet found new information in this book. Most of the information was historical and some scienticific which wouldn't help a desperate parent, but it is still interesting. It is an interesting book to pick up and open to a random page and start reading. I found I read through the whole book in bits and pieces and really enjoyed reading and learning. Albeit the author may be cringing at this reading methodology, but I found the book really interesting in this way. Overall an interesting book I'm glad I picked up.

[sturlington_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book has a lot of information about sleep: its history, how it works, sleep patterns. It is short on practical advice for how to deal with insomnia, other than advocating that partners consider separate bedrooms if they are having trouble sleeping with one another. Since practical advice is what I was looking for when I requested this book, it was a dud for me.

[annajcook · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

"Sleeping Better Together" is a slim volume translated from the original German. The title makes the book sound like a self-help text, but in reality this is more of a quick tour through the world of sleep research. Rather than being prescriptive in their suggestions about how to get a good night's sleep, the authors sketch out what research in various fields tells us about how people co-sleep ... not just with intimate partners but also with children and pets. The text is refreshingly free of gender stereotypes (the authors are careful to say that differences in male and female sleep patterns may be socio-cultural, rather than biological), and they are charmingly willing to admit how much we don't know about why and how humans sleep. While scantily referenced, the book does contain a bibliography that could be of use to anyone wishing to delve further into the subject. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this as a serious purchase for someone looking to solve co-sleeping struggles. The authors' basic advice is to communicate with your partner about the environment you need to sleep best, and to experiment and be flexible about co-sleeping in order to make sure everyone is able to get the rest they need. This might be a fun gag gift for a friend who's recently decided to move in with a partner and/or a humorous wedding shower gift for someone. Personally, my favorite section was the one on co-sleeping with pets and the impossibility of getting cats to accommodate their humans' needs. And the little stick-figure drawings that begin each chapter, while irritatingly hetero-centric, are still amusingly IKEA-like.

[jeffv_19 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Sleeping Better Together is probably a somewhat misleading title for this book about the current state of sleep science. Sure, it has recommendations on solving conflicts between bedmates that could be caused by different environmental tolerances or idiosyncrasies of the other person. Most of these hints though are pretty obvious following the preceding discussion.In Sleeping Better Together, we learn about the science of sleep, the different phases and statistical trends pertaining to age, sex, and culture. We learn about how some couples migrate towards compatibility in bed, and how others actually drift apart. The factors involved in a good night's sleep change and evolve over the years; a younger couple might be content in each others arms while the elderly might prefer to be in separate beds or even separate rooms! Cultural and social norms play a part as well.The book is well paced, and the data is presented in a clear manner without much technical jargon. Klosch makes it clear that the important thing above all else is to do what you can to obtain restorative sleep on a nightly basis. I am now familiar with the many things that can interfere with this; awareness of some of these issues goes along way to combating ill effects. I have to admit the last few nights since I started reading this book haven't been all that bad -- the proof will come when I'm reunited with my wife a month from now.

[varielle_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Considering that I have a board under my side of the bed and haven't really slept soundly in over twenty years, I had hoped that this book would prove helpful, and it has. It has many useful facts and bits of information to help you and yours be better bedfellows. Hopefully both you and your bedmate will be able to use this information to achieve blissful slumber and overcome the mountain of obstacles that sometimes keep us from getting the rest we need. It appears well researched with historical tidbits on the development of shared repose.

[crowyhead · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Obtained as an Early Reviewer book through LibraryThing.This is an interesting and helpful book on the science of sleep, the ways that sleep is different for men and for women, and how this knowledge can be applied in order to get a better night's rest. It also aims to dispel some of the stigma around sleeping separately, pointing out that sometimes for everyone's comfort it's a better idea, but the authors are not proponents of the idea.For people looking for a very cut and dried list of do's and don'ts, this book might be a bit frustrating. While the authors do discuss a bit how the knowledge they're imparting can be applied, the philosophy of the book is basically "Here's some information, here's some suggestions, make of this what you will." No checklists or "you must do this" directives. I personally like this, but other people might be disappointed.I loved the cultural history of bed-sharing, as well as the scientific information about the differences in the way we sleep. One downside to the book is that it's very, very heteronormative: the assumption throughout is that you are likely to be a man and a woman sharing a bed. This makes sense in the context of a lot of the research referenced -- there just hasn't been much, if any, sleep research on lesbians or gay men -- but it would have been nice if it had been acknowledged.Overall, it's a good, useful book.