BLUSHES, BLUNDERS and BAGPIPES

By Miriam Davison

Sarah Phillips is accident prone pure and simple. If it's not her body letting her down; it's her mouth! Join her and the love of her life, Jason Alderson, as they travel to Scotland and Majorca with hilarious results. Home life is no less hectic, but through it all, they are hopelessly in love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Miriam Davison
• Release date: Nov 24, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310123528

Miriam Davison

ABOUT MEI am 54 years old, divorced, and the mother of 3 grown children. I am from the North East of England. I enjoy horror movies and unfortunately I am addicted to Facebook (No groans please). I have always loved writing, and its hard to believe that my dreams have come true as I am now the very excited author of The Intercessor, a fantasy book, Sand Sea and Meadow Muffins and Blushes, Blunders and Bagpipes, both romantic comedies. I am now writing a paranormal book and hope to release that by June 2016. I finished Blushes, Blunders and Bagpipes as part of the NaNoWriMo 2014 competitiion. This is a follow up to Sand, Sea and Meadow Muffins, but can also be read alone! If you do read my books PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW (good or bad) Please also be aware I write in English UK, so there will be words different to the USA.

Book preview

179

BLUSHES, BLUNDERS, and BAGPIPES

Copyright 2014 Miriam Davison

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my wonderful sister Irene Eltringham. You were taken from us too soon, and you are greatly missed. You always had time to listen to anyone who needed it. Please take care of Dad in Heaven. Until we meet again!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank all my family and friends who have helped me to carry on and jumped in with ideas, particularly my daughters, Kerri and Jamie.

I would also like to thank Toni Galmes and his wonderful hotel in Majorca

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedications and Acknowledgements

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Four

Chapter Twenty Five

Chapter Twenty Six

Other Books by Author

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my wonderful sister Irene Eltringham. You were taken from us too soon, and you are greatly missed. You always had time to listen to anyone who needed it. Please take care of Dad in Heaven. Until we meet again!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank all my family and friends who have helped me to carry on and jumped in with ideas, particularly my daughters, Kerri and Jamie.

I would also like to thank Toni Galmes and his wonderful hotel in Majorca

PROLOGUE

What a difference a year makes!

Sarah Philips had been bored. Bored with her job, bored with her life, and bored with her boyfriend. When she found out he was married, she stayed with him, believing he was going to leave his wife and they had been living separate lives for some time. Eventually she realised, that would never happen, and he was using her.

The day she decided to get away from it all, and use her ‘fickle finger of fate,’ as she called it, to pick a destination, was the day her life changed forever. As her finger traced along the map, she spotted places she had always wanted to visit. She decided to turn her holiday into a road trip and stay at the various places on her way to South Wales.

Her first stop was by accident, literally. She crashed her car into a ditch, due to a lot of woolly sheep, and ended up at a farm in the Lake District. Immediately she fell in love with farm life, and a farm hand, called Jason. Unfortunately she only seemed to annoy him, and reluctantly, she moved on to Blackpool, not knowing Jason had fell for her, but was trying to deny his feelings.

She met some great friends, and helped out uncovering a sabotage operation, by following in the footsteps of the great detectives, she loved to watch on TV. She was reunited with Jason with further disastrous results, vomiting on him and passing out drunk, on a romantic beach walk.

Due to crossed wires, she thought he wanted nothing to do with her so carried on with her journey to Liverpool. Here, she had a bad experience with a tuna melt and a ferry. She eventually ended up in a lovely cottage in the South of Wales.

After a raging storm, and been stuck in the cottage for a couple of days, Sarah began to enjoy what was left of her holiday. She was surprised when Jason found her again, and he admitted his feelings. He hadn’t left her in Blackpool because he didn’t want to see her again, he had left to finish the purchase of his own farm. They spent time together at the idyllic little cottage, and they decided to give their new relationship a go.

It was only, as they drove back home in separate cars, and Jason had to witness Sarah involved in a bad car accident, that he realised how much he loved her. When she woke up in the hospital, with broken bones, and cuts and bruises, he told her then, he would never let her go. He wanted her to be his wife, and, move in with him so he could look after her.

CHAPTER 1

Sarah Philips had settled in to farm life very well. She had been living with Jason for almost a year now and she had never been as happy. The farm itself, had picked up and they were making a decent living, they would never be rich, but they were doing something they both loved in an amazing place.

She had even mastered feeding the pigs, with only a few mishaps. One time she had lifted the bucket to throw the swill into the trough, and had misjudged the strength of the swing. That, combined with the muddy surface had resulted in her ending up on her backside with the swill all over her, and surrounded by hungry pigs. She had actually managed to hide that faux pas from everyone, and she would take the secret to her grave. On the positive side, she was a pro at milking the cows, although she would still never get used to the odd one releasing its bowels, as she worked so close to the offending end.

She walked around her home, cleaning as she went, and still felt the warm glow of contentment. They had managed to retain the old cottage feeling, but still had the modern twist. A thick oak beam, sat regally above the beautiful open fire place, and either side of it, the alcoves were lined with shelves, filled with books and nick knacks. A thick woollen Berber carpet, in a slightly darker than cream tone, gave the room a light and airy feeling, and the red accents brought warmth to it.

As she returned to the kitchen, she could smell the stew which she had simmering on the hob, and checked on the huge pan of potatoes boiling beside it. The men would be coming in for lunch soon, so she had better get a move on, she still had trouble with the timing, and hoped, one day, she would manage it as perfectly as Jenny did. The men always had to wait a while before their lunch was served up, or it would be standing there, getting cold, waiting for them to come in.

She had just finished mashing up the potato, when the loud chatter heralded her beloved farm hands entrance. They all grabbed their drinks and took a seat around the huge table, and Sarah quickly finished the mash and set about serving the lunch. She had become so fond of all these men, they were like family to her now. They sat around the table, enjoying their food, while engaging in good conversation. When everyone had finished the main course, Sarah cleared the plates, and quickly placed the homemade apple pie into bowls. She became distracted as she turned to watch the antics of Dan, one of the hands. She poured the custard, as she thought, into the first bowl. She turned back to her task and realised her beautiful apple pie was adorned with not custard, but thick meaty gravy! Luckily, as always, she had made extra so there was no harm done, except, for the hours of playful ribbing she would have to endure from the men.

As usual, Sarah and Jenny met up after the lunch dishes had been cleared. The women had become very close friends, despite the age difference. Jenny had asked Sarah to come over to hers that day, as she was busy with something, and couldn’t leave the farm. As she entered Jenny’s’ kitchen she found the large table covered with huge pieces of paper, pins, a tape measure, pens and scissors.

‘What on earth is going on here?’ Sarah laughed.

‘I used to make clothes all the time when the children were young, and thought I would give it a go again, although I forgot how confusing this part was. I need you to be my dressmakers dummy, so to speak, so get yourself over here and lend a hand.’ Sarah laughed, and happily obliged.

Before long, Sarah was standing with bits of paper pinned all over her and Jenny actually looked like a mad scientist, jotting numbers down as she measured, cut and then pinned each piece.

‘So what brought all this about then?’ Sarah eventually asked.

‘Well, Ben got the chance of a brilliant new sewing machine, and when he mentioned it, I jumped at the idea. I used to love making outfits for the children, or stuffed toys. Seeing an item grow, and become something lovely from a simple piece of material, always made me feel so satisfied. I have decided to indulge myself again, so be prepared, because Christmas is on the way and you are going to get a handmade present from me. I’m not going to say what it is, I have all your measurements now, so it could be anything from a scarf to a trouser suit.’

‘Ooh, I’m excited now, I’ve never had anything made especially for me before, and I am really touched thank you for choosing me to be your guinea pig.’

They sat chatting for a while, as Jenny carefully packed up all her bits and pieces, and then the two women went their separate ways, so they could both get the main meal of the day prepared for their respective men. Sarah had never felt so content; the work was exhausting, the money was scarce, but the rewards she felt were priceless. She had to make a quick trip to the village before returning home, and rushed to get the items she needed, so she could get back to the farm. The only thing about her life she would have changed, if it were in her power, were the roads in the area.

They were very narrow and wound around the hills, but worst of all, they were full of potholes. She bounced, as she drove, and tried to slow, as she came to, what she had named, Devils Bend. One day she would miss the larger hole just on the bend, and she would conquer the Devils Bend. ‘Ouch,’ she yelled, as her head bounced off the roof of the car. ‘Today is not the day.’

She arrived back at the farm to find Jason in the kitchen chatting to Harry. He had lived in the small cottage on the farm for years, and it had been written into the contract, when they bought the farm, that he could continue to live in the cottage until he decided otherwise, at the minimum rent. They had been happy to agree to that, as they liked Harry and his wife Pat.

‘Is everything okay? Pat hasn’t had another chest infection has she? I can help out any time, I have told you that already.’

‘Everything is grand Sarah, and thanks for the offer, I know we can call on you. I have just been telling Jason here, we have had some news from our daughter, Cheryl. I told you last year that she had eventually dumped that no good husband of hers and moved down to Devon, well she met someone else and has been living with him for about 6 months now.’ Harry took a long breath in and before Sarah could react, he began again. ‘Well, this man owns a hotel, some stables, and a small farm, well more of a small holding, just for the hotel produce like, and the old man who looked after the place, passed on last month. Richard, that’s the boyfriend, has offered me the job and he has a cottage on the land that he said we can move in to, rent free. It would be lovely to be near the daughter, and the grandchildren again, and to feel useful. Before we let them know one way or the other, we wanted to run it by you first. We know how much the bit rent helps you out, and you have become great friends to us, so if it will make you struggle, we will tell them no’ Poor Harry looked so uncomfortable, it was obvious he wanted to go, but with their blessing. Sarah and Jason looked at each other and smiled, ‘don’t be daft mate, of course you should go if that’s what you want, we can manage fine, can’t we Sarah?’

‘Of course we can, you just go and be with your family, and Pat must be over the moon, I know how much she misses Cheryl and those kids.’

After rambling on about the new job, house and area, Harry left, looking 10 years younger than when he had first walked into the kitchen, and the weight of the world now lifted from his shoulders.

Sarah made a coffee for herself and Jason and as they sat at the table, she said, ‘The rent from the cottage isn’t much, but it came in handy, we are going to have to tighten our belts for a while.’

‘We will be fine sweetheart, don’t you worry. I was thinking, we could sell the cottage instead of renting it out. The bulk amount could really help out a lot better than a small rent does, and we would have no maintenance costs to contend with.’

‘Oh Jason! I’m not sure. We would have to be careful, I would hate to sell it to someone we don’t get along with, or someone who wants to change the look of the cottage too much. It’s just so very pretty as it is!’

‘Well, we have plenty of time to think about it, we aren’t destitute yet. Mind you, if I keep slacking off like this, it might be sooner than we think, so I better get back to work now, but not until you give me a kiss.’

Sarah smiled and stood up. She felt her body moulded into Jason’s and the small, tentative kiss, soon became a very hot and heavy make out session. Jason became hard quickly, and he could feel the strain against his denim jeans. Sarah felt the heat rise through her body and the ache in her groin intensified. He firmly untangled himself and smiled, ‘woman, I’m sure you are some kind of witch, as I can never seem to control myself when you are near me, at least now I don’t have to hide it with anger, but I do have to get back to work! We will, however, continue this later.’ The look on his face