I Dream of Flying Pancakes (And Other Dream Journal Stories)

By Clark Nielsen

Do you keep a dream journal? Well, you should! Dreams are fascinating and can make for some great short stories. At least, this author thinks so. Over the years, he has meticulously recorded every dream he could remember in as much detail as possible. I Dream of Flying Pancakes is a small collection of his favorite ones. With heavy fantasy and sci-fi themes, these 24 "stories" include everything from fighting dinosaurs to flirting with ghosts. No liberties were taken to make them more interesting. This is how they really played out. It wouldn't be a true celebration of the wacky randomness that is the dream world otherwise.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clark Nielsen
• Release date: Jun 10, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476206110

Clark Nielsen

Clark Nielsen is an American-born author, teacher, and web/game developer who's been writing stories since he was six years old. On the non-fiction side, his influences include David Sedaris and Bill Bryson. But when he's writing sci-fi or fantasy, he turns to Jack Vance and Eiichiro Oda.

Book preview

I DREAM OF FLYING PANCAKES

(And Other Dream Journal Stories)

by

Clark Nielsen

Copyright 2012 Clark Nielsen

Smashwords Edition

CHAPTER 1

Several soldiers and I were huddled together in a dark alleyway, etching our next plan of attack into the cement. I was the only human of the group, though. The rest were life-sized, anthropomorphic letters of the alphabet decked out in helmets and bulletproof vests and wielding large rifles. The letter A in particular looked pretty badass as he puffed on a cigar and glared at the plans below.

We’ll have to send a team to surprise them from behind, the letter H said, scratching out more lines with a small knife.

Suddenly, a spiky shadow ran past. I knew it was a spy.

Follow him! I yelled.

The ABCs and I chased after the shadow, which led us right into the middle of a war. Giant robots were wreaking havoc on the city, destroying buildings with their lasers and cannons, while a group of clay figures on the ground futilely tried to hold them back. The ABCs immediately joined the clay soldiers, and together they fired at the robots and deflected any missiles that came their way.

I didn’t jump into the fight. Instead, I ducked into a building where several old men were nonchalantly rocking in their chairs and chatting with each other.

Can you believe how much spinach costs these days? one of them said, not caring at all about the explosions happening outside.

It’s ridiculous! another agreed. Why, I remember a time when stores would actually pay you to take their spinach.

That reminds me, a third senior said, I didn’t water my garden today…

You can’t stay here! I interrupted. You’ve got to get to a safer place!

Nah, have a seat, they said. We were just talking about how expensive food has gotten.

No, I can’t sit down. We have to get you out of here!

They looked at me like I’d gone mad, then continued talking amongst themselves. Fine, if they weren’t going to take this war seriously, I wasn’t going to bother helping them. I left.

Outside, the battle had moved into a cul-de-sac of tall buildings. Only one robot remained, but it had my clay and alphabet teammates pinned behind several pillars. I slid against a large boulder and watched in horror as the robot shot and killed my friends one by one. The letter W… dead. The letter T… blown to bits. A few of the clay men exploded into a shower of clay particles as they got bombarded with missiles.

Just when I thought we were going to lose, I noticed that the rock I was hiding behind had a big, red arrow painted on it. Wait a minute… it was a button! I slammed my fist on it, and a rocket shot out. It headed straight for the robot, landed a direct hit to its midsection, and blew the whole thing up.

Hooray! the remaining clay and ABC soldiers cheered while robot debris rained down from the sky.

But as the robot continued to fall apart, a much larger robot stepped in to take its place. I could see through the cracked windshield of the robot’s cockpit. It was being driven by my best friend from school! He aimed his cannon at me and fired…

CHAPTER 2

I was in a muddy, underground cavern, sitting atop a giant frog. The frog was saddled, and I was holding its reins in one hand and a sword in the other. Opposite me was a knight riding a horse. Before I could figure out what was going on, the knight charged towards me, brandishing a sword of his own. I readied my sword and kicked the frog in the side to get it moving. As the frog jumped, though, I fell off, landing face first in the mud. But as soon as I hit the ground, I was immediately transported back onto the frog.

Wait, what the... I started.

The knight, however, wasn’t going to give me any time to collect my thoughts. He charged again. The frog jumped, and I fell off again. When I hit the