Daughter of Love

By Jayne Amanda Maynes

“Before time there was a gathering in heaven and the voice of the Lord went out 'Who shall I send?' A little girl step forward and in a meek little voice answered, 'Here am I Lord send me.' And again the Lord asked, “Who shall I send?' and a woman stepped forward, ' Lord send me that I might prepare the way for this child you have chosen.”
“The woman was chosen also, but was given charge that she would be the first of those who would be called Life, while the child would be Life in its fullness to the children of men.”
“Again the Lord called out, 'Who shall I send?' And another small girl stepped forward. 'Here am I Lord send me.' And another woman stepped forward 'Lord this is but a child, choose another for the task you ask is hard,' she stepped back with the others afraid the Lord might choose her instead, while the girl stayed forward standing alone wishing someone older would step forward. The girl was chosen to love her sister and help her be strong when she was weak,” I said.
“My sister told me this story long ago, even before you were born Marie. She told me again the last time I saw her in this life. Even now I do not understand fully what the sisters were chosen for, only that they stood before the Lord trusting whatever he asked he would prepare the way before them.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jayne Amanda Maynes
• Release date: Sep 14, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311357908

Jayne Amanda Maynes

I was born in April 1955 as the heir to my father. My older brother should have been, he had the same initials as dad, but he was mentally retarded and had a heart condition from birth. According to my mother she knew from the time I was growing inside her that I would be a boy and the heir they had hope my brother could have been.I have known for as long as I can remember that I was different that there was something not right about me. I am a M2F (male to female) transsexual. I am currently on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy); I started on HRT October 1, 2007. I have been in therapy for GID (Gender Identity Disorder) since February 2007. I have not set a time yet for completing my transition to becoming the woman I know I am inside. There are so many things involved in transitioning that most people have no clue about. The differences between the sexes are so vast and all of my life I have led a life that just never fit who I am inside. I have learned so much and yet there is still so much that I still don’t know about being the woman I always knew I was.

Book preview

Daughter of Love

Jayne Amanda Maynes

Copyright © 2014 Jayne A Maynes

Published by Jayne A Maynes at Smashwords

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

ISBN: 978-1-3113-5790-8

Dedication

This is dedicated to the memory of Lisa Empanada-Newell my Connie Carlson-Evans. The person who I met online on December 13, 2006, but not in person until September 22, 2011. My best friend who stood by me all that time. One of the first people to affirm me as a woman even when I wasn't sure myself.

So many things have changed since that first day, a day I will never forget. The highs have been so high, it was like the world was ours, that nothing could ever go wrong. The lows so low they have been terrifying, unsure of anything and everything. Through it all you had been there to help me see just a little clearer, think things through more fully. There have been so many times you made me laugh until it hurt, and equally times I have cried hoping things would improve.

We have both been through so much together, we have seen so many come and go, always offering what ever support we could.

As Connie would say: I love you, sister of my heart. (Je t'aime, ma sœur de cœur. )

The cover is a picture of my best friend and her daughter who stood by me through some rough times since the start of my transition into the woman I have always been inside. In many ways she is Connie to me, the voice of reason and Power. The Power of Life when I have felt to weak to continue.

Preface

As the Power of Life ebbed away Marie came around the curtain that hung separating the forward cabin from the sleeping chamber. I looked at her and mouthed the words, I love you my darling. I love you. I closed my eyes and heard Richard give a sigh as his tears ran down my cheeks. How much I wanted to stay, how much I knew my family wanted me to stay, but what I came to this world to accomplish, was now accomplished, and it was time for me to return to my Lord.

I turned my head just enough I was able to give Richard a small kiss as the last of the Power of Life left me. I saw the tears, I heard the cries, I wanted to stay, but life in this world held nothing for me any longer. All that had been mine now belonged to my sister, and for that I was grateful. I knew Antoinette would hate the idea of it all being in her care. Not the kids, that she would relish beyond words, but the rest... she didn't want it, she didn't want any of it, but I had no one I trusted more I could leave it all to.

Marie, can you ask grandma to come back? Richard asked his daughter.

The tears coming harder and harder as he waited for Marie to return with grandma Marie. It hurt so much, even knowing this would happen didn't lessen the pain of mortality. She was so strong, so seemingly invincible. No one in this world could harm her aside from him, and how many years had she hurt because of his foolishness. All those years gone and now... I love you my love. How I wish I could undo all those years so we could have more time.

Daddy, here's grandma, can I hold mommies hand please, little Marie asked.

Richard looked up as Marie asked her question. The tears running down his cheeks unchecked. Little Marie came over and took Connie’s hand and her tears started as her mother didn't squeeze back.

Richard? My Connie she is ok, no? Momma Marie asked.

Mom, she is gone. Everything she was here to do is complete and she went home. I need to go see if I can call Antoinette, and Ellen. Mom please stay with Marie.

Richard headed for the front of the plane to talk with the flight crew about contacting Antoinette.

Sir, we have them on the phone now, the head flight attendant said.

Ellen?

Yes Richard this is Ellen, is something wrong?

Ellen the envelopes Connie gave you to hold in your safe, it's time to get them out and read them.

No Richard! No! My sisters is ok, please Richard she is safe. Richard, please Richard, please she is safe... Antoinette cried in the back ground.

Ellen I think it only appropriate the company lower the flags on all our properties to half mast. We will be there in a few hours can you have the appropriate people meet us when we get in, things here are... The emotions took hold again, he was trying to be so strong and hurt so much.

Ellen got the letters out of the safe in her office setting one in front of Antoinette and the other on her desk in front of herself. She had a good idea what the letter said and what the call from Richard meant. She called out to her secretary telling her to hold all calls and that under no circumstances was she and Antoinette to be disturbed, even if the world were falling apart no one was allowed in her office.

Antoinette I have a good idea what both these letters say. I don't like this anymore than you do, but she did say Richard would be making the call and we were to read the letters upon receiving that call.

Ellen, she can no be gone. She can no be gone, Antoinette cried.

Ellen opened the letter to her, and took it out, not wanting to know what it contained. The only reason for this was Connie was gone, while her mortal body remained it was now but a shell, Connie was no longer in the world of Life... no, not the world of Life, instead the world of time. She still lived, just not on a plain the rest of them did, she was with her Lord now.

Dear Ellen if you are reading this it means I have finished what I was here to do. I am guessing Antoinette is sitting across the desk from you now crying trying to deny I could be gone. I didn't want to leave this way, but the Power of Life was all that kept me connected to this life. With my mission completed I will have released the Power of Life allowing my own life to slip away with it. Antoinette is my heir to Fashionista, I am asking you to stand by her as you have me, the trials she faces are equal to any I faced, and she will need a friend she can trust.

I don't know if Antoinette will move back to France right away, but I do know a day is coming when she will pull all Fashionista operations out of America. My hope is the time Fashionista is not operating in America is short, but that will be up to Antoinette, and hopefully you.

The pain she suffers right now is a pain of losing me, and fearing the love we shared is gone as well. I will always love her as I know she has always loved me. Please remember she is not me, by the time we met I had already come into the power that was mine, Antoinette however is just now coming into the power she has access to. My power was the Power of Life, Antoinette's Power is that of Love. Where I was the Daughter of Life, she is the Daughter of Love. I remember how she put up a fuss when I asked her to work with you. Over the years she has come to Love, and trust you.

Antoinette and Richard I hope will marry soon, they share a love both denied while I lived. Ellen I ask you to encourage them, they need each others strengths in what lies ahead for them. I have written similar letters to others asking they give their support to Antoinette and Richard as they did me.

Thank you Ellen for the love you gave, I do have one last request to make, please don't let me be buried in America. Please help insure my body is returned to France and entombed at the villa I loved so much.

Connie Carlson Edwards

Your friend always!!!

The tears started as soon as the paper came out of the envelop. Seeing her hand writing on the page.

Antoinette I know she is safe and no longer hurts. She didn't want to go, I know she didn't, Ellen offered in hopes of giving comfort.

Yes, she love life, she have no choice in if she go or stay, Antoinette replied.

Antoinette picked up the letter and started reading the tears never stopping and at times coming harder.

My dearest Antoinette;

This letter is one of the hardest things I have ever felt the need to do. My family is what makes this task I had so difficult, the knowledge of how once it is completed I will be leaving this life.

Antoinette, all that was mine is now yours, my daughter from the time she was born called you mom (I believe she knew you would be her mother throughout more of her life than I would). I ask that you help her learn her abilities as a Daughter of Life, just as you helped me learn mine. There is another Daughter of Life before Marie will come into her Powers as the Daughter. Keep watchful for her as she too will need your help, I have had the chance to meet her so can tell you she will not be easy to spot if you don't know what you need to look for. If you look you will still see Marie’s birthmark, but I don't believe you will ever find anyone else who can. Trust me sister you are not going crazy it is there, just as the one Diana has is there. Mom won't be able to see it she could only see mine at the end because of my need to hold the Power of Life so when Richard was born I would be able to finish what was mine to finish. It is your Power as the Daughter of Love that makes it possible for you to see Marie and Diana’s birthmarks.

Fashionista is yours, you are now the CEO, Ellen works for you now, instead of you being under her. I know this is something you don't want, but it is something I feel is important. Richard would be competent as the CEO, but he doesn't understand the industry, plus he is still part of the military unit Deaths Mistress. It is important he remain so for some time, if I am not mistaken you will soon start having visions explaining much of what I have done and why it was important it was done as it was. Sister when the visions start even I will be able to help you in the tasks ahead, mostly in training both Diana and Marie for their time as the Daughter of Life.

I know you love Richard, and I know he loves you as well. Don't let the world stop you from that love, know it is right for you to love each other. You have my blessing sister, you have my blessing. We will see each other again soon, there is so much we need to talk about. I love you.

With love always your eternal sister.

The tears flowed unchecked from Antoinette's eyes as the meaning of the letter took hold. Connie was gone and no amount of denying it would change things. Antoinette was now in charge of Fashionista. Her sister, she had both looked up to and admired was gone, her sister who seemed to always know the right thing to say and do, her sister who held a Power she could not begin to understand.

Ellen she wants me to be CEO of Fashionista, Antoinette said.

Ellen looked over at Antoinette and nodded, she was well aware of what Connie wanted when this day came. Connie had been diligent in letting all of them know the day was coming, and what she wanted for each of them when it did.

An hour later they received word Fashionista one was on final approach and would be on the ground by the time they could hope to get the helicopter to the airport. They hadn't planned on meeting the plane when it landed, but they hadn't thought Connie would be gone either.

Antoinette I think it would be best if we met the airplane, the helicopter is on the roof.

As everyone got off the airplane the helicopter landed and Ellen and Antoinette ran over to the stairs to greet everyone. The doctors and their family were the first to step off followed by Cali and little Marie. Antoinette scooped little Marie up even before she stepped off the ladder. Marie stepped out on the stairs and back inside as though trying to get Richard to come out. As she stepped out on the stairs again she started down while Antoinette was headed up with little Marie in her arms.

Mom I must see her, I must see my sister, Antoinette cried approaching her mother.

Marie took her granddaughter as Antoinette slid past, allowing Antoinette to enter the plane unencumbered.

My dear, my sister she is in the bed? Antoinette asked seeing Richard standing back by the sleeping compartment.

Yes dear, Richard said as Antoinette drew back the curtain partitioning off the bed chamber from the rest of the cabin. She looks to be sleeping... Antoinette I miss her so much.

Connie why? Maybe one day we will understand why you had to leave us, what it was, this change you made in the world, none of us understood. To us nothing changed, life continued on as it had since the time of our birth. We all knew the world was different, was new in a way we couldn't understand. You touched our lives daring us to be more than we dreamed was possible, and now... you left us with a legacy we didn't know if we could live up to. We all hurt, but none as much as those closest to you.

Antoinette the sister of your heart, and to hear you tell it the sister of your soul. None hurt more than she did at your leaving. When you left it was like you took a piece of her with you. No, that isn't right, it was like the world dimmed, and the angels vanished.

~~~~~~~~~

Mom was so disappointed I didn't have a birthmark on my left arm. She was sure I would be the one. She didn't hate me, but she had been sure her daughter would be the one. From the time of her first vision she was sure she would be the one to help the Chosen learn her ability as a Sister of Life. How much easier would it have been if the Chosen turned out to be her daughter.

All my life mom told me the stories of the Chosen, how she would be of French descent, the only heir, and Powerful beyond imagining. She would change the world in preparation of the Lord of Lords. I didn't have the birthmarks, the dove in flight for the Sister of Life, and the woman praying for the Daughter of Life. I have both marks, but not on the left arm, the arm the Chosen would have them on, and it seems mom doesn't see them on my right arm. All I knew was I wasn't the Chosen, I wasn't the one mom wanted.

When I started college mom helped me get a job working for the company she worked for, a company that was based out of America, but treated all its employees fairly. As the head of the secretary pool for the Paris office, mom was my boss. The call came in across my desk, someone asking to talk to Marie Beauchea, the caller sounded young, and said it was very important they talk with mom, even saying they were the Chosen.

I knew it couldn't be, the Chosen was French, and this person was an American, if they were the Chosen how many of the stories were wrong. Two weeks later this girl showed up in Paris claiming to be the Chosen of God, and also claiming to be the only daughter of the man who owned the company. She not only claim to be his only daughter, but also his only heir. Mom met with her, even assigning herself as her secretary for the time she would be in Paris. Each day mom would talk about how this girl had the marks, both on her left arm.

I had the chance to meet her before she left to go back to America, and felt something I didn't understand. This girl was an American, yet seeing her I knew she was French. It didn't make sense, she had Power beyond what I could understand. Meeting her was like meeting myself for the first time. I knew her, but how? Could she really be the Chosen of God? Her French was weak at best, yet she spoke with an authority that few could master.

After she left I tried to resolve the feels she invoked in me, feels of meeting a sister that should have always been there, but wasn't.

Five months later she would come back hoping to continue working with mom on learning the art of the Sisters of Life, an art mom tried teaching me, but I was never able to understand.

Antoinette it is a pleasure to meet you.

I knew that was the words everyone heard, but it wasn't the words I heard, what I heard was more like, Sister it is good to see you again after so long. I have missed you Daughter of Love.

Daughter of Love? Sister? I knew she was indeed my sister, I didn't know how, but I knew. I also knew she saw the marks on my right arm, marks that matched perfectly the marks she had on her left arm. I didn't say anything. What could I say? She saw me for who I was, someone even I didn't know.

As the thoughts went through my mind she looked over to me again. You know what I have said is true? A question not a statement. I looked around and noticed no one else seemed to hear her.

The marks on my arm you can see them? I thought at her and heard her tell me she could. You are the Chosen? The first to stand forward at the call? I thought as her reply came to me.

Another stood forward with me. My sister the Daughter of Love. Do you doubt this sister? Do you not remember the call of He who is? When the call came one stood forward and another with her. The call came again and the sister of she who stood forward stepped forward. The first is the Daughter of Life and the second the Daughter of Love. I heard the words in such a way any noise wouldn't have been able to block them out.

Mom says the mark of Satan is on the right arm. If this is so how then do you call me the Daughter of Love? I asked.

Because you are my sister from the before time. And the two shall stand as one, the Life bringer and the bringer of Love. The world shall marvel at their words, for they herald the return of the Son of Man. Sisters from before the foundations of the world, yet the world will not know them until the time of the Son of Man is at hand. In their time many shall hear them and bow down and worship the Father. Yet many there will be who will seek their destruction. Keep watch therefore least the Son of Man return and catch you unawares.

You have seen this Daughter of Life?I again asked.

I have seen this and more sister. The mark of Love has never before been seen by men, so many there are who fear it and decry it as the mark of the fallen star. But the fallen star at no time bore the Gift that is yours sister, it was the gift that I receive he sought to control as though his own.

I looked around and saw that none heard the words spoken, words shared only between my sister and I, words we shared so long ago. I turned and walked out of Connie’s office, not sure what transpired only that indeed this American girl was my sister form before the foundations of the world were laid.

We worked closely over the next few weeks, trying to help her learn French apart from her gift. As her French grew my ability with English made slight improvements, mostly in the area of euphemisms, the way Americans seemed to have sayings that made no sense to me. The night of Connie’s first show in Paris she received a phone call that she needed to go back to New York. She didn't need to leave right away, but did need to be there before her next show which was scheduled for a week later. During the next few days someone named Ellen came as well as Connie’s old friends. Connie asked me to please work with Ellen as mom did with Connie.

Why sister, why do you ask me to work with this American? I felt so betrayed by the one person I loved more than any other.

To work with an American, nothing sounded more distasteful to me. All my life I heard how the Americans sought only their own interests, they were greedy and thought themselves better than anyone else because of their power, now I was being asked to work with an American by the one person I trusted more than even myself.

I watched as Ellen came in and deferred to Connie. Connie asked her to be the president of her company and Ellen wanted to say no, but couldn't find any way of doing so. To Ellen, Connie was opening herself to all manner of problems. Giving everything and asking nothing in return.

Connie do you have any idea the legal ramifications in making this offer? Ellen asked.

Ellen you know I have nothing to do with this. You know what it is you're looking for, and I haven't a clue. If when the truth is known it still points to me I will not run from the consequences of the truth. Connie said removing any chance of Ellen mounting a defense of why she couldn't be company president.

I don't like this. I know who you are and that you had no part in any of this, Ellen said.

Then the truth will show I had no part. Ellen I need a company president, you need a break in finding the corruption. Become my company president and I will give you access to root out those guilty. Antoinette I am asking you to help Ellen, to learn everything Ellen can teach you. Sister everything that is mine is yours when I again return to the Father, Connie said.

The next day we all worked very close, with Connie’s childhood friends coming in and helping. Ellen and I talked trying to see just what it would take to work together, what compromises we would each need to make to work together. We both loved Connie enough we would do whatever we could to insure her trust.

Antoinette can you look into where all the stock in the company is, and what it would take financially to buy up what is not controlled by me and my family. Dad still holds fifteen percent, I hold fifty-five percent, and I believe mom holds ten percent. Connie asked me a week before she got the phone called saying she was needed back in America.

That left twenty percent of the stock unaccounted for she wanted me to find out about. I started going through the files on the stock that was out in public, and what it would cost to buy it all up. I knew my sister intended to take the company off the open market if as mom and I suspected the problem was in the board of directors. Once I knew where all the stock was and what it would cost to buy it I started looking into whether, or not the company had the money to make such a purchase, and found only Connie did.

The day after gathering all the information showing who was responsible for the corruption inside the company we left for New York. All the evidence finally pointed at those responsible rather than Connie and her father. I had the information Connie asked me to gather, but she didn't want me to share any of it, even with her until she asked for it. It didn't make sense to me, she said it was a top priority to get the information but wanted me to sit on it for who knew how long.

As we boarded the