Hide Your Fires

By Amanda Uechi Ronan

Addison Franklin, a young woman with the ability to erase people's memories, only wants to blend in with the crowd after transferring to small-town Abernathy College, but soon she realizes she isn't the only one with a secret. Danny Goldin, the first love of her life, has his own demons that will threaten everything.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Amanda Uechi Ronan
• Release date: May 9, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310084898

Amanda Uechi Ronan

I'm a unicorn jockey, autocross padawan, and lover of tacos.

Book preview

Hide Your Fires

Amanda Uechi Ronan

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2014 Amanda Uechi Ronan

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

Stars, hide your fires;

Let not light see my black and deep desires.

The eye wink at the hand, yet let that be

Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see.

- Macbeth

Table of Contents

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE

THIRTEEN

FOURTEEN

FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN

SEVENTEEN

EIGHTEEN

EPILOGUE

PART I

CHAPTER ONE

I flicked the switch again. Once more an empty click sounded through the cavernous lecture hall. I stared at the dilapidated, brown metal box in front of me trying in vain to will it to life. Would it be out of the question for this projector to work? Just once for me, so that I didn’t have to stand in front of these people any longer than possible. I craned my neck searching the classroom for Professor Brown, hoping for a savior.

The room felt hot and loud. My peers sat there staring at me, watching me, judging me, all because I couldn’t get this ancient projector to work. Shit! Why didn’t I just make a PowerPoint presentation like everyone else?

It’s not plugged in, came a voice from behind me.

He crouched down on the floor, grabbing the power cord. Considering its frayed and potentially life threatening state, I probably should have stopped him as he pulled it towards the electrical socket. He jumped back from the small spark, smiling nervously.

One front tooth sat ever so slightly crooked. His hair, dark brown, fell haphazardly over his bright blue eyes as if he hadn't brushed it in days. Are you okay? he asked as his eyebrows tugged together in a sharp triangle. You look a little pale and you’re just kind of staring at me. A smirk tugged at one corner of his perfect mouth, his bottom lip almost too full for a man.

Mr. Goldin! yelled Professor Brown, Please sit down so Miss Franklin can give her presentation.

‘Mr. Goldin’ winked at me as he passed. You’ll do fine. Just imagine me naked. I’m Danny, by the way. As he walked to his seat I noticed his ass was pure perfection.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped towards the projector. Miss Franklin? Professor Brown repeated, waving her hand at the now functional projector lighting up the giant screen behind me.

My name is Addison Franklin. My topic is Easter Island...

When the clock struck 9:30 am that Thursday morning I grabbed my backpack and bolted for the door. I hated public speaking, hated most things public to be perfectly honest, but the professors at Abernathy Community College seemed hell bent on exploiting that weakness.

A shoulder bumped into me. It was attached to Danny Goldin. He smelled fantastic. You did good in there, he said, flicking his eyebrows back to the site of my near panic attack.

I blew out a noisy breath, Yeah, right.

No, I’m serious. Other than the total meltdown about not being able to plug the projector in, you did good, he laughed. You're from out of state, right?

I nodded reluctantly. I'd specifically picked this little known, small town Texas school because nobody here knew me. I'd moved here from Arkansas, transferring in for the second semester. I shifted the weight of my backpack on my shoulders. Why did the powers that be make us carry all these heavy books around if we never even used them in class? Danny grabbed the strap and with a quick flick of his wrist had it up and over my head and resting on his own shoulder. He tugged at the strap and then grinned.

What do you have in here, rocks? he asked, his mouth turned up in a bemused grin.

Textbooks, I said, suddenly realizing how sore my shoulders were now that the weight had been lifted. It was funny how sometimes you didn’t notice how much something hurt until it was gone. Still, I couldn’t have some random guy carrying my bag for me. I tried to take it back from him, but he pushed my hands away. I shook my head, Look, I want my bag back. I don’t want you to carry it.

He laughed under his breath, stopping underneath the lone oak tree in the center of the campus. Attention makes you nervous Addison Franklin from out of state, he stated casually.

Arkansas, I added. I’m from Arkansas. And you can call me Addy. I breathed out, shaking my head, and grabbing for my bag one more time. Danny grabbed my hand, holding it for a moment too long.

Addy, don’t most girls like it when a guy walks them to and from class? Carries their book bag? he asked.

I’m pretty sure that only works on the CW Network, I answered, jumping up and finally grabbing my pack, almost falling to the ground as its weight shifted my balance. After awkwardly placing it back over my shoulders, I looked him straight in the face and said, Not. Interested.

His smile transformed into an outright grin as I turned and walked away. See you later, Addy! he called out.

~

I collapsed back onto my extra long twin bed, snugged up against my standard, institutional grey, cement wall. Across the room from me I heard some sort of low groan as my roommate, a girl I barely knew and yet had to share a living space with, wake up. I was willing to work, willing to work my ass off for a private room or an off-campus apartment, but all Freshmen had to live in student housing unless they were married, pregnant, or somehow figured out a way to cheat the system that I had yet to find.

Lisa peeked out from beneath her bright, yellow comforter. She had a sleeping mask pushed up in her hair and earbuds locked in her ears. She pulled the mask off and said a little loud and grumpy, What time is it?

I looked at my watch. Almost 10 am.

She jumped out from under the covers, sliding her feet into a pair of flip-flops and running out the door, pajama pants with hot pink pandas going across her butt, tousled hair and all. I guess she had a class at ten. Danny Goldin caught the door before it finished swinging shut behind her. Did you follow me? I shrieked, jumping up when I saw him standing in the doorframe.

His eyes widened as if he felt a little unsure, but the look quickly evaporated under a grin. How else was I going to find out where you live?

What? I shouted out at him.

He shrugged his shoulders and walked straight into my room. You don't talk to anybody in class. You've just been lurking for the last three months, he answered casually. He looked at Lisa’s side, with her bright yellow comforter, frilly purple and lime green pillows and posters of Caribbean beach scenes and then my drab side. Grey wall, dark blue comforter, white sheets. He sat down on my bed. I sat on Lisa’s. It felt awkward.

That’s not your bed, Danny said, still with that same lopsided grin.

This is in fact my bed. I happen to love the color yellow, I said emphatically.

He quirked up one eyebrow, lowering his eyelids and tilting his head. He clicked his tongue against his teeth and then lay back on my pillow nonchalantly, his hands behind his head. Nope, this is your bed.

I jumped off of Lisa’s bed, running my fingers through my hair out of frustration before I let my arms drop to slap on my thighs. Do you want something? I yelled at him.

He winked. I want you to come eat with me, at the dining hall, right now.

I stared at him. I probably looked like I’d just smelled something really disgusting, because my mouth felt locked in that slightly open, nose crinkled ‘stink face’ expression. I’m not hungry, I answered.

He sat up, breathing out a long exhale. You are hungry. Your stomach was growling obnoxiously the whole class. He was right, and not only was he right but my traitorous stomach growled again, right there in front of him. I wrapped my arms around my waist, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

He noticed.

He jumped off the bed, grabbed my hand and led me to the elevator and then the dining hall.

Now the important thing to remember here is that I came to a tiny college, in the middle of nowhere, out of state, specifically not to be noticed. So imagine my horror when I realized that this guy was clearly taking notice. I felt my palms start to itch as they sweat and swelled from nervousness. I tried to pull away from him, but he held fast. Danny walked us through the buffet line, piling food not only on his plate, but mine as well. Pizza, nachos, tacos, an apple, some sort of baked pastry thing, chocolate pudding...

I can’t eat all this, Danny.

Looking over at me, something flickered in his expression for just a moment before it disappeared behind his trademark cat-like grin. He put two sodas on my tray along with a glass of lemonade. You’re not one of those girls who pretends to be all anorexic in public nibbling on an apple and then scarfs down an extra large pepperoni in secret, are you? He used his fingers to put quotations around ‘nibbling on an apple’ like it was a cliché quote out of some young adult novel. Which, truthfully, it probably was.

No, I eat. Just not this much, I said pointing to my tray of food that was so packed the plates were piled on top of each other. And I hate to be wasteful.

He made a scoffing noise as the lady slid his meal plan card through her machine. He paid for both of our trays. I tried to stop him, whipping out my own card, but he just shrugged. My mom buys me the ginormous plan. Food has become her outlet for apologizing to me lately.

I followed him to a table in the center of the room. I hated eating in the center of the room, preferring to lurk in some dark corner somewhere. What is she apologizing for?

He sat down, immediately stuffing his face with his slice of pizza. Not being around since I was six years old would be my first guess, but I’m sure she has others.

His answer didn’t shock me. Everybody had problems. I had problems. But the casualness with which he said it bothered me. I’d never say something like that to a complete stranger. Never. I sat down beside him. Our elbows touched. I’m sorry, I muttered. He flicked his pizza crust to a corner of his tray and grabbed the piece off of mine. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly while he chewed. I ate my taco, trying not to ‘nibble’ for his sake, but my stomach was in knots.

I wiped a bit of cheese from the corner of my mouth as I dug into the nachos next. Why do they call you ‘Golden Boy’ around here? I asked, noticing that he’d already started in on his desserts.

He sighed, Most likely because my last name is Goldin with an ‘i’ and people aren’t very creative. But I also graduated Valedictorian of my high school class and I maintain a pretty above average GPA. Great. He’s smoking hot and he’s super smart. Way out of my league.

You don’t look that smart? I blurted. My cheeks blazed red. I did not mean to say that aloud.

Why is that? he asked, shoving a spoonful of chocolate pudding in his smirky mouth.

Because you’re hot, and its not fair for hot people to also be geniuses. Umm, I mumbled restraining my brain not to say those words out loud too, officially nailing down the lid of my embarrassment coffin. My eye caught at his tattoo spanning the length of his left forearm, wrist to elbow. Since when do Valedictorian’s have tattoos? I asked, stumbling over my words.

He watched me, sucking on the spoon he’d been using to eat his pudding. Anybody can have a tattoo, despite their IQ score. I got this one- he turned his left arm over revealing some sort of Haida style animal totem inked into his skin in lines of black, white and red, -with my brother. I’m the wolf. Jack is the hawk. Kind of lame, I guess, seeing as how we have no connection to North Pacific Native American tribes.

He sounded almost sad as he told me about the tattoo. I needed to change the subject. I didn’t do personal and something about his tone told me that had been personal.

Well, I muttered, I liked your presentation about the Tuareg tribes. Looking down at my plate, I realized all the nachos were gone. Had I been stuffing my face the entire time we’d been talking? I wiped my cheesy, greasy fingers on a napkin between us. He looked away from his tattoo and began eating in earnest again. I liked yours too, he said between bites.

What did you like about it? I asked sarcastically. I knew it was terrible. I used to be pretty good at schoolwork, but then when I lost my mom, my only family, I just sort of stopped caring. Danny leaned into me, so that I could feel his breath on my ear. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, in a totally good way.

I liked how your cheeks got all red when you were frustrated with that machine. He leaned back. Just like they’re doing right now.

CHAPTER TWO

Don’t be a pussy, he argued, unlocking the passenger side door and then swinging it outward inviting me to take a seat.

I locked my arms across my chest. It’s not being a pussy... I hated that word. Why did guys always use that word? To not get in a car with a stranger. Granted, it was a fucking awesome car, a 1967 Chevrolet Impala, rebuilt and ridiculously fantastic looking. I didn’t walk around drooling over many cars, but I knew enough to like this one. It also happened to be on my favorite TV show.

Danny lifted his eyebrows. Hi, I’m Danny. I’m from Quintana, Texas. My mom’s name is Theresa Crawford. She lives in Chicago with her husband and my two half-sisters. My father is a douchebag and not worth mentioning. My brother’s name is Jack. This is my car. Her name is Lucinda. I’m not strange.

Addy laughed. I didn't say strange, I said stranger. Either way, my 'strange-dar’ is beeping like crazy.

He smiled again. Your what is beeping?

My ‘strange-dar’ is beeping, I repeated, emphasizing the word strange. I mean come on! Danny, I have class in less than an hour! I pleaded, looking down at my watch. Two fifteen pm. I hadn’t even been back to my room yet and I’d already missed one class after lunch! Danny smiled and then leaned over the car door, his bottom lip sticking out in a childish pout.

Please get in my car Addison Franklin? he said, still pouting. As he leaned over, the edge of his white t-shirt crept up allowing me to see his hipbones and another tattoo running down the length of his ribcage, some sort of text. I flicked my sunglasses on and slid into the leather seat of the car.

We drove south for what seemed like hours, well into the evening when the Texas sun striped the sky with vibrant shades of pink, purple, and yellow. Is this the part where you drive me out to the middle of nowhere and leave me for dead? I asked, only slightly nervous to hear his answer. He breathed out a laugh, and then fiddled with the radio. He had a complicated system of wires coming out of the dash that somehow must have connected to his iPod that lay in the seat between us. Imagine Dragons Demons came through the speakers.

I hummed along to the chorus under my breath. Danny smiled, but continued to stare out the windshield. He turned the music up, though, and sang along a bit himself. When the song ended I mumbled, I like that band, tilting my head against the glass of the car window and fell asleep.

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and heard a strong, blowing sound, like when you hold your ear up to a seashell. Danny smiled at me, tossing a flashlight into my lap. I rubbed the sleep away from my eyes. Looking out the window all I could see was darkness, but the ground was glimmering in the moonlight.

Danny smiled at me and jumped out of the car. I pushed the heavy door open and followed, my heels sinking down into the sand as I walked behind him. He had the beam of his flashlight moving in front of him in a slow arc, finally settling on a large green hump.

I came up to his shoulder. Danny! We’re at the coast! Shit, I have class...

He put his free hand on my face and turned my chin so that I was looking directly at the green lump his light had settled on. It was a sea turtle. She churned up the sand behind her, flinging it everywhere, then stilled suddenly. She’s nesting, Danny said at my ear.

I crouched on the sand as I whispered, I know.

Danny crouched beside me, our shoulders brushing. We watched as the mother turtle finished covering her eggs with sand and