When the Music changes...So Does the Dance: A memoir

By Margaret Gerada

This is a memoir set in the 60s when life was simpler, yet at the same time more complex.
When a young country girl, eldest of seven children from a loving catholic family, at the tender age of 20, marries a local boy she is blissfully unaware of what the future has in store. Bit by bit, Margaret’s life is coming apart around her and she has no idea what to do. With no one able or willing to give the advice she needs, Margaret does all she can to keep her family together, but sometimes love and determination is not enough.
Her story of how she survived the unmentionable cloud that threatened her marriage and her serenity and became the strong person she is today is told with warmth and humour. It is remarkable in its acceptance and lack of bitterness and gives an absorbing picture of the social mores of the late 60s and early 70s.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Nov 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781483534442

Book preview

dance'.

Prelude

I grew up in a loving Catholic family, the eldest of seven children, and a diligent student. I always did very well at my studies, consistently top of the class. Although a quiet, shy child I made some very good friends and those friendships have weathered the passage of many years.

An avid reader, I could usually be found devouring a book somewhere when I wasn’t involved with helping my mum tend my younger siblings. There was always someone to bathe or feed, a table to be set or cleared, and the washing up to be done.

As a teenager I was no rebel, and conformed to all the 'rules'.

On leaving school I went off to a town some 80 miles away to study nursing, one of the top three careers deemed suitable for girls at that time. However, as I had already spent time away from home at boarding school, the homesickness bug struck again and I abandoned the nursing career and returned home where I pursued more mundane work in my home town.

From then on I followed the next 'expected' steps of the majority of girls in the 1960s- meet a nice boy, get engaged, and after a twelve month engagement, the lovely Church wedding.

It was from this background I stepped onto the stage of adulthood, of wife and mother, and eventually ME.

Chapter 1

~

Leaving Town: 1970

As we approach the entrance to the country train station, I look up at the imposing façade of the building as if seeing it for the first time. The paint looks a bit brighter; the carefully tended garden beds at the front look neater and more colourful than I remember them. I have become very familiar with this station over the years. Trains, trains... and more trains...my early life was so bound up with train trips. Happy trips to holiday with grandparents by the sea; sad trips to stay with people we hardly knew as our mother was ill, and the dreaded trips back to boarding school, where I missed my family so much.

Now here I am at the train station once more but with one significant difference; this time I am with my two young children and we have a one way ticket. This train today is to take us away from the town that has been my life- where my babies were born, where I have lived since I was two years old. The town where I went to school, worked and married; where my friends live, my school friends and peers.

Surely there should be a brass band to farewell us, or at least a bunch of balloons let loose as we are waved off to our new life? But of course there’s not. I glance up at the big clock over the entrance, steadily ticking away the last minutes of my life here. Only a few minutes until the train is due to arrive, so I need to check our suitcases in to the luggage department.

After depositing our bags we move on to the platform to await the arrival of our train. Here it comes, just down the track to our right, gliding like some huge monster, to stop at the platform with a loud hissing of brakes. The doors slide open and people flow out, searching the waiting faces for their family or friends; running to greet one another, calling their names. Now it’s our turn to board, time to say goodbye to the couple who drove us here. I don’t trust myself to say much. I could easily lose my resolve and not be able to do what I must do for my children and their future. With a last round of hugs and admonitions to 'take care' our little threesome steps aboard the train.

I set the children up with their books and crayons and paper, and we settle down for the journey ahead.

With one last blast of the guard’s whistle, the train slips past the platform and quickly gathers speed, as houses and streets give way to open fields. I let out a huge sigh of exhaustion, and settle back to prepare for the eight hour journey ahead. A new chapter of my life is about to begin. Little do I know that in just over six months my life will be changed once again by an event I could never have anticipated.

Eventually, lulled by the rhythmic sound of the train’s wheels on the track, I let my thoughts slip back in time.

Chapter 2

~

Meeting in Ice Cream Parlour: 1960

My boyfriend and I are walking home from the library where we meet a couple of days a week after school. We are pushing our bicycles and chatting about our day. He attends the Christian Brothers High School for boys, and I, the local convent high school for girls, run by the nuns. I have not long returned to my old school here in town after being at boarding school in Sydney for a while.

Let’s go in here and try the new ice cream, he suggests as we find ourselves outside the new soft serve ice cream parlour that has not long opened in town. It’s a warm sunny afternoon and I can think of nothing nicer than a delicious cool ice cream, so we park our bikes out front and go in. The shop is empty except for a young man in a suit and tie. He turns his head toward us in recognition and my boyfriend pulls me forward to introduce us. He is moving his feet and executing intricate little dance steps on the spot, oblivious to all but the music he can hear playing in his imagination. He stops as we approach, and my boyfriend introduces me to this young man. He works nearby at a furniture store and although only two or three years older he seems so much more sophisticated and worldly than we two schoolkids.

After we order our ice creams, we chat for a few minutes more, and then he says he must get back to work. He insists on paying for our ice creams, before collecting his and heading back to his work. We then make our way home, pushing our bikes with one hand as we lick and twirl our cones in the other. He seems a nice guy, I remark, seems to be very involved with his work too. Ummm what’s with the solo dance practice thing?

Oh that, says my boyfriend, he’s a ballroom dancer, as though that explains everything.

As we continue our way home, there is no way of knowing that I have just been introduced to my future husband. That on-the-spot footwork, with the occasional twirl and head sweep, whilst waiting at bus stops, in shops or anywhere for that matter would be something with which I would become very familiar. But that was still a few years off.

Chapter 3

~

Meeting Up Again: 1961/62

School is finished, and I go off to study nursing in nearby Albury. However, once again the homesickness bug bites, and despite topping the class in the preliminary training school, I decide to quit and return home. Back with my family I take time to consider whether I really do want to study nursing, or whether it’s what I decided because everyone expected me to do so. In the 60s there were not a lot of choices in the career stakes for girls. In theory girls could do whatever they wished, but the reality was different.

What I really wanted was to follow in my father’s footsteps as a lawyer. As a child I spent a lot of time in his office when he wasn’t seeing clients, poking around the ceiling to floor bookshelves, and as a teenager he would invite me to sit in on open court cases that were held monthly. I was very familiar with legal processes and enjoyed Saturdays when I would often spend the whole morning with him in his office, reading, and chatting. Dad always had work to catch up on and was happy to have me with him. He never discouraged me from studying law; quite the opposite, but he was very aware how hard it was for females to break through in this area. It was similar in all the professions. It was deemed better to stick to the usual careers allocated for women, such as teaching, nursing, or heaven forbid, secretarial work, because you'll only end up getting married anyway.

I decide to get a job in town for the time being. I need to concentrate on overcoming my anxiety problem and build up my confidence so that, when ready to pursue whatever path I might choose, I will be able to move away from the family unit with determination and strength. I apply for, and am successful in securing a position at David Jones. There are various departments and positions in the company, including both sales and administration work. In time I end up doing a stint in most of these areas.

And so begins a year or so of working, family duties, helping out with my six younger siblings, and spending time with friends. A couple of girlfriends who left school before me have been working for a couple of years, and are well versed in what is on around town for young people. They belong to our church youth group and soon have me attending the weekly social gatherings and dances held in the Church hall. They are a fun bunch of young people who meet after Sunday evening devotions to dance, talk,