Be Tough ... But Don't Be "A Tough Guy"

By Craig Cicardo, Sr

Be Tough ... But Don't Be “A Tough Guy” is a guide for leaders and those who strive to be in leadership positions. The leadership philosophy expressed is one that will help a leader adapt to the technological era we have entered into over the last two decades. The title sets the stage for the contents which discusses leading with compassion, selflessness, and service. The concept discusses the ability to maintain class and poise when dealing with others who try to bully, whine, and complain while not falling in line with the standard that has been set. Maintaining the standard is the responsibility of the leader who can be tough, yet compassionate. Tough isn't just a physical trait. More than ever, mental toughness is a key ingredient when leading others. We are in an age where the feeling of entitlement has spread like wildfire, and the process of earning our way to the top is fading. Strong leaders are needed in all walks of life, and Be Tough ... But Don't Be “A Tough Guy” guides those who desire to keep their “ship” on a course that will lead to harmony within the ranks, and success in the tasks they must carry out.
This is a book that corporate leaders, coaches, and school administrators will benefit from. The philosophies and core values that are discussed in this book will not only lead to successful results at work, but will also help bring peace and self acceptance to those who can Be Tough without being “A Tough Guy.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Craig Cicardo, Sr
• Release date: Aug 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310810251

Craig Cicardo, Sr

Craig Cicardo, Sr. is a professional educator who has been a high school and college football coach for 25 years. As an educator, he serves in the role of Dean of Behavioral Management. He has taught U.S. History, served as a curriculum coordinator, and spent six years as a Director of Athletics. Along with being a high school head football coach for 14 years, he has been an assistant coach at four different "small college" football programs. He and his family reside in Forked River, NJ.

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Preface

THE JOURNEY BEGINS...

As a young football coach I heard another coach talk about keeping a small notebook with him at all times so if he saw or heard something that could help his football program, he could immediately write it down so he wouldn’t forget it. I started doing it, even keeping a small notebook on my end table so if there was something I dreamt about, I could get it down on paper as soon as I woke up.

As I started attending coaching clinics, my high school football coach, New Jersey High School legend, Lou Vircillo, told me that the thing to do was not go out to the taverns after the clinic with the other guys. He talked to me about a coach named Tom Olivadotti, a coach in the NFL who Coach V knew and admired. He said that Coach Olivadotti would go to clinics, take notes, then go back to his room and type them up. He would then put them in a notebook so he would have easy access to the information when he needed to go back to it. This became a habit for me, and I continue to do it till this day out of fear Coach V will catch me not re-writing my notes.

My next lesson in taking notes was from a principal I worked for at Mater Dei High School in New Monmouth, NJ. Frank Poleski, Jr. sets the standard when it comes to leadership and professionalism. In 2009, I received a Master's degree in Educational Leadership, but there wasn’t a thing that program could teach me that was not learned from Mr. Poleski. Having the pleasure to work under him in many capacities over 10 years, I still incorporate the values he taught me as a young administrator. One of the first things Mr. Poleski taught me was, make a list of the things you have to do for the week on Monday, so you don’t forget by Tuesday. He handed me a yellow legal pad, told me to put a little box next to each task, then check it off when it was done.

From these two bits of advice (orders), I was able to develop a great foundation for the rest of my life. And then came Apple’s iPhone...

Thanks to the Notes App, I no longer needed a pen and paper with me at all times... I don’t even need my briefcase when I go to a clinic. In January of 2011, I took to jotting clinic notes down on my phone. It soon expanded from lists and clinic notes, to random notes that popped up. The notes continually grew over two years, and in 2013, I decided to finally write that book my colleagues at work and I joke about whenever there is an interesting you can’t make this up situation going on.

Be Tough... But don’t be a Tough Guy is a book not only about leadership, but also a manual on how to be at peace with yourself so you will be a positive contributor in what it is you do to earn a living. It also serves as a manual of recommendations on how to deal with obstinate, cranky people who believe the world owes them a living, and who will try to push you (and anyone else) around to achieve their selfish needs.

I hope the reader has fun as he goes through these pages. This isn’t a clinical, scientific core of beliefs you get from an overpriced college text book. It is a bunch of lessons learned from many mistakes, an unconditional commitment to God, a great respect for successful coaches, and a dime-a-dozen history degree. I hope you enjoy a few chuckles and nods of your head as you read through it. Mostly I hope you take to heart a way of life that exudes the toughness needed to be a personal and professional success.

-Craig Cicardo, Sr., July 28, 2014

What is tough?

Is tough being the guy on the playground who everyone is afraid of? Is tough being the one who intimidates and tells everyone what to do and how to do it? Is tough executing the power you have as a boss, a supervisor, or a captain of the team by showing the other who’s boss?

If you said yes to any of these, you don’t know tough! Tough isn’t what you can do to others. Tough isn’t being able to beat everyone in a fist fight.

We hear a lot about being tough, and we talk a lot about being tough. As children, we scrape our knee and cry, and someone is telling us to be tough.  We join a team and our coach talks to us about playing hard and being tougher than the guy in front of us. We are struggling with geometry and our counselor tells us we have to be mentally tough. The kids we hang with are talking about who the toughest kid in the neighborhood is … and then we grow up. As we get older, what we learned was tough from our peers and the adolescent culture we grew up in, begins to change. The sixth grade bully never grows another inch, the quiet introvert starts lifting weights, our talents or lack of become exposed, and we all find our way.  At 18, being the toughest guy on the block and picking on little Johnny Jones can get you put in jail, and soon you ain’t the toughest guy on the block anymore. Being tough is not only about having the ability to not get hurt, neither is it being the one who can inflict pain on others. Tough is doing the right thing even if it may not be self fulfilling. Tough is understanding when something is wrong, and deciding to change the course even if ALL those around you are leaning toward the wrong. Is tough being able to take a hit? Absolutely. Is tough being able to "bring the pain? Of course it is. But most of all, tough is being able to carry oneself with dignity and class in a world full of judgement, scrutiny, and selfishness. Tough is being able to succeed without lying, cheating, or manipulating your way to the top.  The manipulators may think they are tough, but their course