Scared To Death

By CS Latu

For Ruby Green, life is about loss. Everyone she has ever loved has died, save one. Her best friend from childhood. He has always been her saving grace. When things change between them, Ruby finds herself lost in a maelstrom of emotions. She's not ready to lose him in order to have him.

Noah Carrington believes in living. Even if the road is dark, the fear makes you feel alive. Life is too short and regret is a wound that festers. He always saw his best friend, Ruby, in his future, she would be just around the corner in the next room until he started seeing her in his arms.

They both know that being scared to death means you have something to lose. The question is, will they learn that it means you have something to gain too?

• Language: English
• Publisher: CS Latu
• Release date: Jun 10, 2014
• ISBN: 9781498953252

CS Latu

Hello prospective friends and readers. I am CS Latu! I am very new to the publishing game though not so new to the writing game. I have been writing since I was a child and finally decided to be brave enough to let others see it. Scared To Death took about six months to write and publish. If you want to contact me, feel free to hit the Facebook page up!

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Locked Out

Ruby

All I wanted was sleep. My body hated me for saying yes to a double shift almost as much as my feet did. I fumbled with the key, flipping it back and forth before I finally got it in the door; the chain was on. I cursed, then opened my mouth to scream for Noah when I heard him, or her rather.

OH GOD! A breathy moan assaulted the silence, followed by the pounding sound of skin slapping. I pulled the door closed and turned to sit down, pulling my cell phone from my pocket. I neglected to look at it when I left work because I was dead tired and all I could think about was getting away from people.

The light flashed at the top signaling a message of some kind.

Noah: Got company but should be gone before you get home.

Apparently not, I thought.

I keyed back a message-

I would love to go to sleep.

Weariness crept over me and sank into my bones. If I didn’t get in the apartment soon, I was going to pass out on the steps.

I keyed another message.

I am outside, hurry it up.

I wasn’t surprised that he had a chick in our apartment. I was surprised this chick caused me to be locked out.

Noah was a really hot guy. I could see the appeal that girls saw in him. He handled his inky black hair carelessly. His eyes were seemingly depthless, they were so dark. He had started covering his tall body in tattoos, which would have only been more effective had they said Fuck Me. He had his choice with girls. I had watched him with several, catch and release.

When the door opened, I looked up and realized why I was locked out of the house. A shapely, strumpet from hell with blue eyes smiled down; she’d done it. She reached up running her fingers through her short, brown bob, sweeping any stray hair in place. Noah looked over her shoulder down at me; he wasn’t wearing a shirt and his hair was sticking up.

Sorry. He stated from behind the smiling banshee.

No problem, just want to go to sleep. You didn’t manage to get him to fuck you in my bed, did you? I frowned.

Good to see you too, Ruby. She turned around and grabbed Noah, while blocking the doorway to kiss him. It was passionate on her side, he stood and accepted it.

Call me? She paused while she ran her hand down his bare chest. We have lots to talk about. She smiled when he nodded.

When she backed up, I walked between them into the apartment. I had to squeeze, but once I made it in, I could hear her mouth.

I can’t believe you two still live together.

Court. Don’t start. Noah warned.

Yeah, I know. She whined.

I couldn’t listen to her. Normally, his dates never bothered me, but Courtney wasn’t a random chick. She had been Noah’s girlfriend for over a year. In the beginning, she was nice, but after a while, she got it in her head that I was carrying a torch for Noah. The fact that I lived with him caused a great source of tension between them.

Any explanation you offered to her was not good enough. It didn’t matter that we’d been friends since grade school or that I wasn’t into him and never had been. She refused to believe me.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind when I made it to the bathroom, stripping out of my clothes and turned on the shower. Once I stood in the steaming water, the door opened. I hated it when he cornered me in the bathroom.

Get out, Noah. I barked.

I didn’t know she put the chain on the door. He said.

I didn’t know you still put your dick in that one! I returned.

Ru. I knew he was frowning at me from the tone of his voice.

I grabbed the edge of the shower curtain to frown back, What!

Now you gonna give me shit? He asked. His hands rested on his hips. His tattoos were exposed that covered sporadic places on his arms and chest.

I don’t care who you are fucking, but I didn’t know you were such a glutton for punishment.

You haven’t figured that out since I decided to live with you that I am, he snapped. I threw the curtain back, shutting his image away.

If that is the kinda thing you are going to let in this house, then I can fix that problem too! I raged while leaning down to turn the water off and snatched my towel off of the top of the shower rod.

When I got out of the tub, Noah had left the bathroom. I was glad because I’m pretty sure I would have punched him directly in the dick for his comment.

I dried myself off, then re-tucked the towel around me because I hadn’t bothered to grab clothes. I opened the door to stomp to my bedroom; dirty clothes in hand.

Noah was standing in the hallway with his hands on the wall. He wasn’t facing me, but his head was bowed like he was praying.

I moved to walk around him when he spoke.

I don’t wanna fight with you.

There is nothing to fight about. You’re an idiot. I have made my thoughts clear on that. There’s nothing else to say. My fist tightened on my clothes as I spoke. The urge to punch him was strong.

Ru, ya know you’re the only bitch in this world that I let talk to me like that. He turned leaning back on the wall.

Is that a compliment? I asked. I was unaffected by the bitch comment other than the fact he only said that when he was angry with me, if the shoe fits.

I hate it when you are like this. He growled, clenching his hands at his side.

Dude, what the fuck did you expect? My voice was beginning to climb. That bitch locked me out of my house, the same bitch who has only ever given you freaking heartache when she cheated on you. You expect me to be happy to see that harpy again?

He winced when I mentioned her cheating.

She only cheated on me because she thought I was sleeping with you. His voice was dead calm.

Did you hear what you just said? She thought? I don’t give a fuck what she THOUGHT. I turned to leave before I did an about-face to look at him again.

When did you grow a vagina to even think you can validate what she did? I asked, still in disbelief.

Probably about the same time your balls dropped. He replied before turning to walk into the living room.

I stared at the nothingness that was my bedroom after I slammed the door. I could have been a monk. Everything I owned, or my parents owned, was locked away in storage. There were very few things that I brought with me from my old home other than my clothes, my computer and a few photo albums I had locked in a trunk at the foot of my bed.

It hadn’t been a hard decision to make, to leave my childhood home behind to people who I hoped, had a better chance of staying whole. My family crumbled until we were no more and I was the only one left. And that dumbass stomping around outside of my door was the closest thing I had to family in the world.

I never knew that I was a lonely child until I met Noah. It was almost ten years ago. I was eleven years old. My world had been a quiet place. I watched people; the kids at school on the playground laughing and screaming while they ran around. The adults in my life were those who talked in hushed whispers in front of children and the people on television who taught me about the world outside of my own. It was like everyone was performing a play in front of my eyes. And then, one day, someone asked me to come up on the stage and become a part of the action rather than the audience.

I had taken the long way home from school because I liked going by the Gafanan manor. I know my imagination had allowed me to become mesmerized by the sight of it, how the intricate design of twists and turns swerved around the rooms inside with its wax inhabitants. How it stood so tall and proud over the passage of time. The manor felt like it called to me in an ancient voice.

Luckily, it was only a few blocks away from my house and if I walked fast, my mother never noticed the time difference.

The man who owned the house piqued my interest too, because everyone said he was strange. I never really understood what strange meant, but they said that Mr. Gafanan was an artist and sculptor before his wife died, and then he began to make wax people.

When he opened a museum on the bottom floor of his Victorian house to show his work, my parents had forbidden me to go see it. I thought he sounded lonely, but most of the adults in my life thought he was just crazy.

Every day, I would walk by the house with the hope that I could manage to get a look through the windows to see the figures standing around. And for as much as I wanted to go in, I never went because my mother would have flipped out. My parent’s thoughts and others like them had not stopped the museum from making a name for itself, and people traveled from faraway places to get a look at his work.

That day, I had stopped in front of the black cast iron fence and looked at the house. It sat far back in the yard away from the street, which in my neighborhood was not common. Houses sat close together, making yards very small. While I looked over the house, I noticed the open sign wasn’t on, neither were the lights in the museum section of the house.

There was a car in the driveway from out-of-state. It made me curious to see someone was there though the museum wasn’t open, which was not normal. It had never been closed on a Wednesday afternoon before. I stood for a long time, wondering while I traced the gabled roof with my eyes before I decided to turn and leave.

A green headed goblin stood beside me. I jumped back before I realized it was just a kid in a mask. The realization didn’t come until I had fallen down and banged my elbow.

I laid on the ground, staring up at the monster. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a pterodactyl on it and busted jeans.

Where did ya get the mask? I asked, pushing myself up from the ground and inspected my elbow.

When I looked back up, a boy emerged from behind the mask and frowned. His black hair shined in the sunlight.

You were supposed to scream, he complained. And then cry maybe.

Sorry. I shrugged at him, dipping my finger in the blood coming from my elbow.

Hey, cool. Blood. He smiled, stepping closer to look at my arm.

My mother was going to be angry that I had a hole in my new jacket.

Who are you, anyway? He asked. I dropped my arm while the same question floated in my head. He was skinny and tall, but anyone I had to look up to was tall to me. He had brown eyes and rabbit teeth that escaped passed his lips. His head had not caught up with them yet.

My name is Ruby. I answered finally, looking back at the house.

The museum is closed right now. He stated.

I know, the sign isn’t on.

Were you going in? He asked.

No. I shook my head. My parents won’t let me.

Why not?

They think old man Gafanan is crazy. I looked back at him.

Grandpa is not crazy. He frowned.

I smiled. He is your Grandpa?

Yeah, so what? He bristled.

I’m glad he has family. I always wondered if he made people because he had none.

He stared. You are kinda weird.

You are kinda rude. I countered him.

How old are you? He asked.

I’m 11 almost 12 next month.

Noah! Another girl’s voice rang out from the front door of the house. She had long brown hair and looked like she was a teenager.

That’s my sister, I got to go. He said, turning to run around the edge of the fence and up the driveway.

See ya. I called.

My fingers walked over to the scar that marred the skin on my elbow since that day. It faded well over the years. I closed my eyes while a yawn contorted my face. Fatigue boiled back to the surface from all the eventful twists that had taken over my day. I turned my bedside lamp off while I sank deeper into the bed, willing the Sandman to dump the entire bag on me.

CHAPTER TWO

Wench

Noah

Normally, on the days I got laid, I was in a better mood. Then again, I didn’t fight with Ruby in the aftermath. Normally, anyway. I was a simple kinda guy, I didn’t like complications, fighting with Ru was a complication. I despised feeling bad for something I did. So much so, that I tried pretty hard not to do things I would regret. She would get over it, she always did. I focused my attention back to the Horror Haven flyer. I’d been waiting on a call back for three months about participating in the Horror Crawl.

Horror was my life. You couldn’t be caught by the darkness if you were already in it. I had always found comfort in macabre illusion. My gift to the world was the ability to show people how frightening it could get. My gaze kept shifting from the flyer to the light under Ru’s door. I tilted my head to look at my watch. She would go to sleep soon. The child that I once was would have seen a chance to use the darkness to attempt to scare her.

When I moved to Brickton to live with Grandpa, Ruby became the highlight of my new life. My mother decided to homeschool us when we moved out of the city of Chicago. My day was normally done before lunch, so I would scurry around the house looking for things to add to the horror I was going to unleash. She proved to be a challenge after that first day.

What are you afraid of? I asked one day, standing with a plastic machete painted with fake blood.

She thought about it, I don’t know. Ru had a way that she held herself when she thought about things. Her pale, water colored eyes would become unfocused and the world around her didn’t exist any longer until she had an answer. She never grew out of that.

You have to be scared of something. I pulled the hockey mask off my face.

What are you scared of? She asked.

Like I would tell you. No one could understand how normal things bothered me. I didn’t even understand it at that age.

She only nodded and then looked back at the museum. She studied it every day with a look of a kid who wanted ice cream.

You could go in. Your parents won’t know. I said while grabbing the black iron rails of the fence swinging back and forth.

It could be a secret. A grin settled on her lips.

Um, yeah, I guess. I was still swinging around on the fence like a gorilla at the zoo.

Is your grandfather in there? She asked.

I shot a look over my shoulder, Where else would he be?

How much does it cost? She put her hands in her pockets digging out three crumpled dollar bills and change.

For my friends, nothing. I boasted, letting go of the fence to take her hand and pull her behind me.

Wait! She jerked my hand while shoving the money back in her pocket. I stopped and turned back.

You won’t tell? She asked.

Tell what? I was confused.

My secret. She tilted her head while I rolled my eyes.

Who cares about your secret?

I do, She said. Her face was so serious.

I stared at her for a moment and then shrugged.

No, I won’t tell. I used the fingers on my free hand to cross my heart.

She paused, looking at our hands before she asked,You are my friend?

Um, I don’t know, you are kinda weird. I laughed. Her face turned red as her hair and then she tugged her hand, trying to pull away.

I wouldn’t release her, Let’s go.

She jerked my hand again, shaking her head.

I like you even though you are weird. I explained, when I understood how serious she had been. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Oh jeez, don’t cry. The sight of her crying made me feel like a jerk.

She sniffled while she looked at the sidewalk.

Why would I take you in the museum to meet Grandpa if you weren’t my friend? I asked, hoping to repair the damage. She finally looked up and a smile was breaking through her sad face.

Really?

Um..yeah. You are pretty cool for a girl, but only if you stop crying,

~~~~

There was a great divide in changing from a tormentor to a protector. That was the day my intentions towards her changed. The thought of doing anything that would make her cry made me cringe. So instead of trying to scare her, she became my assistant in dreaming up gore and sometimes she even wore the costume. It wasn’t until we lived together, I began to understand what Ruby feared, and it was nothing I could see. Though she almost gave me a damn heart attack by the time I learned this information. Sometimes, she screamed in her sleep.

Ruby

I didn’t sleep well that night. I tossed and turned dreaming images that I could only think had been brought on by the fight with Noah. I did find some relief in one of my dreams when I slapped him in the face with a tree branch.

I smiled when I remembered that part of the dream as I made breakfast in the kitchen. I mixed the French Toast concoction while I listened to the bacon sizzle. I was starving because I refused to leave my room last night afterward. Noah’s bedroom door was still closed, I wasn’t sure what was on his agenda today. There were numerous flyer's laying on our kitchen table about different conventions. Horror Haven crowned the top of the pile, either because it was the closest in date or because Noah was the most enthusiastic about it.

The fight was still on my mind while I cooked. I couldn’t believe how stupid he was, though when you had a penis soaking up all the blood that was meant for your brain, it had to affect your ability to make good judgments. It was the only logical thought I could manage.

There was a knock on our door that brought me from my thoughts. I turned the burners down on the stove before I walked through the living room. I peered through the peek hole to see a distorted Rachel with her back to the door.

I greeted her with a smile, Hey, Stranger.

Hi! She wrapped her arms around me.

Rachel was one of the few people in the world that it didn’t give me pause to hug. She leaned away looking me over from head to toe.

She was very polished in her clothing, making me feel frumpy. The pencil skirt she wore was fitted well to her body displaying her curves to their best advantage. Her black and white striped shirt was ruffled around the neck to give her a vintage look which clashed and meshed in varying degrees to the one sleeve of tattoos lining her arm. Her cherry red lipstick popped off the bright white of her teeth that made her smile dazzling. She had always been a knockout even when we were children, but there was something in the way she carried herself. The definition of savior-faire would have Rachel’s picture beside it.

You look as lovely as always. I moved back to let her walk into the apartment so I could close the door.

Where is that annoying kid at? She asked, turning to look around the living room.

Still sleeping, maybe? I shrugged. He did have a busy day yesterday. I moved back into the kitchen to check on the food.

Are you hungry? I called.

I am. She said from right behind me. The whole family had a way to be completely noiseless when they moved.

Good, because I have lots.

So, how are Norse and Kelsey? She asked.

Normal. I laughed, those two were not really all that normal.

I figured they would be around.

We went to the movies last week and Kelsey texted me a really stupid joke this morning. I volunteered.

Ah cool, what movie did you guys see? She leaned back on the counter.

That is a story in itself. Norse wanted to go see this fighting movie, but Kelsey wanted the see a racing one, and they fought the whole way to the theater. And when we got there, the show times had been wrong on the website.

So, what happened?

I laughed, We watched a cartoon.

She chuckled.

It gets better, so Kelsey went to get a snack. He eats all the time you know, to feed that worm he has deep inside. By the time he comes into the theater to find us, it’s dark because they just started the previews. He has this mountain of shit that looks like it cost a small fortune when he finally gets to our seats. He drops his drink in Norse’s lap and it spilled everywhere.

Oh, wow! I bet Norse flipped out!.

Dude, he screamed like a girl. My shoulders were shaking while I laughed, remembering the sound that came out of him.

And then Kelsey bitched about having to get another drink and Norse cried about how cold his balls were. Noah’s voice floated into the kitchen. He moved around the counter that separated our living room to hug his sister.

Noah! Rachel beamed.

I thought you weren’t coming home until next week.

I missed Grandpa. She hit him in the chest when she pulled back from the hug. You too.

So, how was Paris? He asked.

You know what they say about the lights. She said, pulling a thick album from her bag.

Ah. You have already gotten your book together? When did you get home? He asked, taking the book from her and walked back into the living room to sit in the only armchair we owned.

Yesterday, though, I had the book done before I came home. She explained, leaning over the back of the chair.

These are amazing. He cooed.

Aren’t they?

Rachel took pictures of everything, from a puddle of water on the ground to a snow-covered cathedral, nothing was unworthy of her notice. She’d taken the trip to Paris as a college graduation present from Mr. Gafanan.

I turned back to the stove to finish up breakfast while I listened to the two of them chatter back and forth. Over the years, I’d seen them in every state of sibling interaction from unending affection to unadulterated spite. The cultivated observation served more as a reminder of what I lacked rather than of the aggravation that came along with siblings. I would always envy them.

Once the food was done, I pulled plates from the cabinet and sat them on the counter top.

Suey! I announced, turning back to get the bottom pieces of toast from the plate. They would need to be reheated, so I would take those to eat myself. I popped them in the microwave when they filed into the kitchen grabbing the plates on their way.

It smells so good, Ruby. Rachel made a show of taking a deep breath.

I hope it tastes okay. I offered, grabbing the plate when the microwave dinged.

When I turned back around, Noah was standing behind me with an empty plate. We still hadn’t spoken since yesterday.

Once sec, I will be out of your way. I reached to grab some bacon from the pile and walked over to the table avoiding his eyes all the while. I wasn’t in the mood to fight today. It was my first day off in a week. Peace and serenity were on my menu.

Rachel smiled as she chewed on a piece of toast.

It is delicious.

Thank you, though it seems ironic that I made French Toast the day you got back from France. The thought was funny.

She laughed, while Noah sat down at the table across from me. I focused on my food.

So, what happened yesterday? Rachel inquired.

FUCK.

My head shot up looking first at her and then at Noah who looked calm.

Ruby said you had an interesting day yesterday. She elaborated waiting for one of us to talk.

Ah, Ru. What was interesting about my day yesterday? Noah asked casually.

Why, I don’t know, Noah. What did happen to you yesterday? I only have an idea. I countered, anger creeping over me. It felt as though he was trying to dare me to speak about his life to his sister. Friend or not, no one would back me into a corner.

He chewed on a piece of toast.

Will someone tell me what the hell you two are talking about? Rachel had stopped eating.

Ru, since she seems more than happy to bring it up, she can tell you. Noah stuffed his mouth, cutting off any comment he could make for the next thirty seconds.

Well, I got locked out of my apartment by a demon from hell that at the time happened to be fucking Noah. Would you like to guess who that was? I asked.

Oh, God... Rachel moaned. Who?

Courtney. I supplied.

Really, Noah? She frowned.

Had anyone asked me anything about it rather than biting my head off, I would have explained that I was curious. He was still looking at his plate, letting the toast soak up all the extra syrup.

I’m asking you, Rachel said.

I was referring to the wench across the table. He only ever called me a wench to piss me off. I lifted my leg up before I could think better of it and slammed my shoe down on top of his bare foot.

Ouch. He glared at me.

Next time, it will be your dangly bits. I warned.

Why are you so damn violent? He asked, then turned back to his sister.

Courtney was here, though I didn’t know she put the chain on the door, He explained. Rachel only waited for him to continue.

I wanted to see if I was still into her, He said.

Obviously, you can still get into her. I grumbled.

I told you yesterday, I’m sorry she locked you out. He reminded me, which made no difference.

So, are you? Rachel asked, sticking to the topic.

No, and I kinda don’t know why I ever was. He admitted, shocking me.

Good, Rachel said before she started eating again.

I stared at him, wondering if he was lying to his sister. He was normally pretty upfront about anything you asked him, but for some reason his answer bothered me.

Problem? He asked when he saw I was staring.

I am trying to figure out if you are lying, I answered honestly.

Why would I lie? His face was only a moment away from being severely pissed off.

I don’t know. I said, still pondering.

What the hell is your problem? He asked.

If you wanted to know if you still cared about her, couldn’t you have just kissed her? I returned, curious for his answer.

If you must know, she took the kiss as a go and I went with it. He reasoned.

I don’t know why I felt like I did. It wasn’t out of his nature to take what was offered to him.

I have seen you sleep with lots of girls and not have a smidgen of feeling for them other than on the end of your dick. But I don’t understand how you could touch her after what she did to you. The longer I talked, the madder I got.

Ru- He started.

Don’t fucking Ru me. I watched her break your heart. Do you know what it was like watching her break you?

He smiled, sending me boiling over.

Why are you smiling? Do you know how fucking disgusting seeing that wretched bitch was? All smiles and saliva in front of me! Not to mention, she locked that fucking door on purpose. You apparently have forgotten the day you found out she cheated on you! I pushed back from the table, leaving my plate while I stormed out of the room. Once I was in my bedroom, I flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. My blood was surging through my body, sending pain shooting into my temples. I knew one day, I was going to blow a gasket and keel over if I didn’t get a handle on it.

A knock sounded on my door.

I ignored it. I should have locked it.

Ru, Noah called.

Fuck you. I returned, though I had no force in my tone.

He opened the door, peering in.

Go away, I sighed.

Not until I tell you something. He closed the door and walked over to flop down on the bed beside me. His arm pressed against mine, his warmth radiated into my skin. There was something about Noah, something I didn’t understand completely, but his presence was calming. It had to be the counter effect for the fury his actions caused. He grabbed my hand before he started talking, wrapping his fingers around mine. He laid there for what seemed like forever before he spoke.

Thank you for caring, He squeezed.

Oh, for fuck’s sake. That took the wind of fury from my sails.

"Stupid people bother me." I muttered.

He sat up on the bed, then lifted our joined hands to kiss the top of mine. I blinked repeatedly at the gesture. We were turning the corner on a decade of friendship, in all that time, there had been no hand kisses.

You are only a crazy bitch because you care, He said, while laying my hand back on my leg before he got up and walked out of the room.

CHAPTER THREE

Facespace

Noah

My phone started vibrating in my pocket when I sat back down at the table with Rachel. I shifted until I could pull it out and groaned when I saw the name on the screen.

Court

Rachel glanced over, then frowned.

You really are kinda silly. She sighed.

Thanks, sis. I grunted, shifting my food around on the plate. I lost my appetite when Ru walked out of the room. Fighting with anyone bothered me, but when I fought with her, I always ended up feeling like an asshole.

Just so ya know, I am with Ruby on this one. Rachel leaned