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Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead: A Toad Witch Mystery, #1
Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead: A Toad Witch Mystery, #1
Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead: A Toad Witch Mystery, #1
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Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead: A Toad Witch Mystery, #1

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

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Mara's life is about to get a magical makeover, but not the kind she ever dreamed of!

 

In the middle of the worst month of her life, Mara turns to her tarot cards. And what they predict is insanely horrible. And unfortunately, spot on. Before she knows it, she's evicted from her apartment, fired from her job and banned from Beverly Hills. When the cards start predicting her imminent demise, she decides to use a little magic to make her world right again.

 

Suddenly, an unknown aunt passes away, leaving Mara as her sole heir. But Mara's new home holds a spine-tingling secret: Aunt Tillie never moved out. She's one seriously pissed-off old ghost, who blames Mara's magical meddling for her untimely death.

 

When Mara accidentally unleashes a demon and raises the spirit of the most formidable witch in history, Aunt Tillie is out for blood, literally. It's the only way she can think of to save Mara from herself.

 

But the witch and the demon have their own plans for Mara, leading to a spellbinding showdown in a tale that blends humor, suspense, and a dash of supernatural mischief.

 

Brace yourself for a wild ride in "Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead," an edgy urban fantasy that blends humor and supernatural suspense!

 

WHAT REVIEWERS ARE SAYING:

 

"What a fun book. I fell asleep reading it and in the morning, I stayed in bed to finish it." -- Finals Judge, 2012 Writers Digest Self-Published Book Awards

 

"This was so much fun to read I didn't want it to end! If you are looking for a paranormal story that has it all, this is it!" -- Wickedly Bookish

 

"Get ready for a psychic roller coaster ride. This book is a tour de force novel of magic, spellcraft and overall chills." -- Everything Magical and Middle Eastern

 

"A tremendous amount of fun to read. Christiana Miller's background in the TV industry shows in her confident, imaginative plotting and idiosyncratic characters that leap off the page." -- Reading is My Super Power

 

WHAT OTHER AUTHORS ARE SAYING:

 

"This was such a fun read! It's not all witchiness, though, it's also witty, romantic, and heartfelt. You won't be able to put it down." -- Sibel Hodge, Voodoo Deadly

 

"A spellbinding tale about the families we are born to -- and the ones we choose. It captivates from the first page and holds on until the final, shocking conclusion. You won't want to miss it!" -- Barbra Annino, Opal Fire: A Stacy Justice Mystery

 

"A fine romp through spookyland, with enough paranormal creepiness to chill your blood. Witches, demons, magic spells, oh my! There's just enough intrigue and magic spells to keep you on edge, and Miller's hilarious one-liners leave you begging for more. Highly recommended for fun but scary reading on dark, stormy nights." -- Bonnie Turner, Down the Memory Hole

 

LanguageEnglish
Release dateApr 16, 2014
ISBN9781498928571
Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead: A Toad Witch Mystery, #1
Author

Christiana Miller

CHRISTIANA MILLER is a novelist, screenwriter and mom who's led an unusual life. In addition to writing for General Hospital: Night Shift and General Hospital, she's had her DNA shot into space (where she's currently cohabiting in a drawer with Stephen Colbert and Stephen Hawking), she's been serenaded by Klingons, and she's been the voices of all the female warriors in Mortal Kombat II and III. If her life was a TV show, it would be a wacky dramedy filled with Dobies and eccentric characters who get themselves into bizarre situations! The best way to make sure you're notified of future releases, giveaways and sales, is by joining her e-mail list at:  Christiana's Newsletter To learn more about the author, you can visit her website: http://www.christianamiller.com. You can also chat with the author on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChristianaMiller.author You can follow her on Twitter at @writechristiana

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Reviews for Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead

Rating: 3.454081559183674 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

98 ratings22 reviews

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    the author classifies this as supernatural chick lit. I might call it a cozy urban fantasy, except that half the book is set in Los Angeles, and half in the wilds of Wisconsin, and except for some flashbacks, is set in the present day. Mara, our witch heroine, is having bad dreams and worse Tarot card readings for herself. She's about to be pushed out of her rent-controlled apartment, and she asks the universe for a place to live. The universe answers, though not as she expects. Our heroine has a gay best friend, Gus, a toad to look after, Lord Grundleshanks, and a dead aunt Tillie whose ghost keeps showing up when least expected. All and all, this book kept my interest, had some humor and some scary bits, and I couldn't predict where it was going. It's number one of a series of three or four.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    supernatural, suspense, witches, situational-humor, verbal-humor On her 27th birthday, Mara is jobless, the tarot read is dismal, and she gets evicted. Her funny best friend Gus tries to help, but it isn't until she gets paperwork telling her that she has inherited a cottage in northern Wisconsin that she has hope. But things just get more scary and more complicated. There is scary stuff without horror, characters that certainly are, excellent imagery, and fun. A good read! Marie Rose seems perfect as Mara, perky and able to project the feelings of the moment.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Somewhat quick to read. A bit entertaining, but not too special. There was no character development and the jokes were just ok.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This book was like a fun roller-coaster ride. It took some time to get to the point - Aunt Tillie's death, but the journey that far was rather entertaining, and then even more so once the actual plot began. I loved the relationship established between Mara and Gus - even though the "gay best friend" is something of a cliche. Although I did feel that certain other relationships were not well developed and decidedly thin at best. Anyhow, the whole book was a riot that got me seeking out in search of other titles by the author.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    It was cute at times, had a few zingers, had a fabulous 'gay bestie', a heavy dose of magic, death, and a dash of romantic interest were all among the high points. They were what saved this book; without Gus (flaming and fun), his friendly banter, and the fantastic set-up my rating would have dropped faster than a skydiver in free fall. I really wanted to like this.Buckle up, folks, for the obstacle course. This is not the cozy paranormal mystery it appears to be. I mentioned the toad-licking, right? That's just the tip of the iceberg. Illicit substances, spells that inadvertently kill your unknown family members, plot holes you can stick your head through, more illicit substances, and suddenly towards the end - kinkier than an old garden hose (a very conservative description of the *ahem* 'parties'.) Very old wicked witches apparently have quite the oat to soil. None of this is 'cozy', or PG, or even PG-13, adults only for this quite un-romantic tale.Stereotypical characters, hallucinations, toads, and can I remind you once again about the licking of aforementioned toads? *Shudder* Through all this, it must be said, the narrator was instrumental in keeping me reading. Though I ultimately was not fond of the book, I would in no way be scared off from listening to the narrator again. The voices were distinct for the most part, consistent, dramatic, and she played up those zingers and made them shine. The fault lies with the material rather than the performance. The production quality was adequate but unimpressive; it didn't really add or detract from the overall experience.Audiobook provided for review by the narrator.Please find this complete review and many others at audiobookreviewer dot com[If this review helped, please press YES. Thanks!]
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Such a cute book. I couldn't put it down, read it in a day. I really liked that it was humorous along with mystery. I would recommend this book as a light fun read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Loved it. A heroine who keeps fighting no matter what, and a cast of characters you can laugh at and love and fear.

    I'll be buying more from this author.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    If there is such a thing as "cozy horror," then this is it. A cute, frothy little beach read for the "Charmed" set. It's no "Practical Magic" (although I suspect it wants to be), and it's not the kind of book you're going to insist your friends read, or even a book you're likely to remember in a couple of months, but it's pleasant enough, and a fun summer interlude.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Good light read
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This book started out as a very cute chick lit with a couple of fun characters. The problem for me was that halfway through, it became really dark. There were some unusual sex scenes towards the end that left me scratching my head since the rest of the book had been so fun. The romance was also unusual since Mr. Right didn't show up until the last third of the book. I liked the narrator a lot, and enjoyed her bff as well, but overall, I was left rather confused by what kind of book I was reading.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    It had a good pace and was flat out hilarious without being slapstick. Looking forward to the next book in the series.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    From Lilac Wolf and StuffThe cover is cartoonish and eye catching. In fact it was the cover that caught my eye on one of those free-ebook pages on Facebook. So yes, I downloaded this for the Kindle. I don't have a Kindle so I read this on my phone. I actually couldn't put it down, my phone went with me everywhere for a few days. My oldest asked me last night, "Why are you reading on your phone???" Because Mommy has to finish this book and it's not on the Nook. Nope, but I did just request it.The characters are a hoot and a half. Mara and Gus are the only two that get really in-depth treatment. Mara being the main character, and it's all from her perspective in the first-person. And of course Gus is her best friend, he is a gay witch. So he's perfect in all ways but that one. He's also very aggressive and pro-active, which is the opposite of Mara. If it weren't for him she never would have made any movement in the story. It works really well, is all.She moves from L.A. when her overly-Christian apartment manager evicts her and her Aunt Tillie dies. It's a tiny town on the northern end of Wisconsin. I think it was called Devil's Point. She finds the cottage gorgeous but slightly haunted. Against all her instincts, she decides to move in.She finds a love interest and lots of fun and creepy things happen. I won't give any more away but I was shocked more than once. This book was not at all predictable. The paperback is a few bucks, but the Kindle version is only $3.49. If you have a Nook like me, you can request it be made available in Nook format as I just did today.Seriously fun paranormal read. Romance is in here a little but it's not anywhere near the main story line. I would call it quirky paranormal...mystery? Maybe...anyway, it was a really good read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's DeadToad Witch Series, Book 1By: Christiana MillerNarrated by: Marie RoseThis is a great book about spirits, mostly evil, trying to come back using a human body. Other spirits help or don't care. Our witch goes through a lot but she has her best friend who is a witch too she can call on if necessary. Good fantasy, characters, plot and ends with a shock and it is a good ending. Enjoyed this odd witch story, odd in a good way! The narrator was awesome! Great performance!
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    This book is as much of a hot mess as the main character is. I only finished the book because I’m stubborn and kept waiting/hoping for it to get better. The book is disjointed and it is hard to review it with any sense of flow. I don’t think I’m spoiling anything but feel readers should know Aunt Tillie is hardly in the book and doesn’t actual show up until about halfway through the book. The first half is basic nonsense about just how bad Mara’s life is and what an absolute horrid friend Gus can be.

    The book has two of my least favorite tropes in writing. The first one being the “Murphy’s Law” main character. Mara just can’t catch a break in life, love or in magic and by about a third way through the book it is already tiresome. The second one being the what I call the “Vague Mentor” character. Aunt Tillie tells Mara to leave and even physically harms her but never tells her exactly why she needs to leave the house in Devil’s Point. The character gets all these warnings about evil but no actual information to help her.

    I didn’t like any of the characters. Mara is a walking accident and her friend Gus is obnoxious and pushy. Granted he comes through for her at the end but he is just not likable at all. Aunt Tillie is just a bitch who shows no love for her great niece and does some truly vile things to her. The love story if that is what you want to call Mara’s relationship with Paul comes out of the blue and not realistic at all and I didn’t get any really sense of chemistry for them.

    Marie Rose was not a great narrator in my opinion. All the male characters sounded like cranky old women. Mara’s best friend is a Greek man but sounds like an English butler who is losing his accent. I never really developed an internal picture of the character because there was no sense of character in the narration.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    So this seemed like 2 separate books...before cottage and after cottage. I enjoyed the second half of the book more than the first half. I did like both Mara and Gus, and the fact that they are practicing witches. I liked the toad too. Aunt Tillie was very annoying and I could have done without her, even though she weighed heavily in the story. I felt the story picked up a lot when Lissette and Lucien showed up. Overall, a fun book to read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Great lite entertainment

    I very much enjoyed the dialogue and characterization. It was a fun page turner and I am looking forward to reading the next one.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Rating: 3.5* of fiveThe Book Report: Mara's a thirtysomething Angeleno girl with the best kind of life a slightly portly, extremely witchy fag hag can have: Her GBFF Gus keeps her in snack food and gossip, her gay uncle/landlord keeps her in a super-cool apartment for less than market rent, and her spirit guides keep her in grocery money by enabling her to read Tarot with such accuracy she's scary. All in all, an enviably calm existence.Until it isn't anymore. Gay uncle's new inamorato has a mama who needs a job, so he installs her as manageress of the apartment complex where Mara lives. Trouble is, the lady's a wacko fundamentalist with a major hate on for witches like Mara. Since what makes Mama unhappy keeps Uncle from gettin' laid, Mara has a month to vacate.*Just* in the nick of time, and thanks to an ill-advised piece of spellcrafting, Mara's Great Aunt Tillie dies and leaves her a beautiful cottage in Devils Point, Wisconsin, on the shores of Lake Superior. (Side note: One pities the lassie on the first whiteout due to a lake effect blizzard, being from LA and all.) Mara packs up her entire worldly goods and sets out for Wisconsin in Gus's SUV, which she has traded her beloved 1965 Mustang convertible for (stupid woman). Arriving in her new home-sweet-home brings many unsettling feelings, including being possessed by an ancestress, hit on by a super-centenarian, boinked to exhaustion by a ghost, and chatted up by a poison toad. It also brings a sense of complete and utter satisfaction, because after a lifetime of rootlessness, Mara is Home.In the end, what Mara has to do to defend her home is heroically demanding of her witchly talents and worldly energies. Her life, however, is at stake, and her world finally has contours that please and delight her, so Mara sets about making what's hers safe and welcoming for her chosen family, no matter the cost to herself.My Review: I think most of us desire a trip down the river of another's life as an escape, and so we read fiction or gossip magazines (minimal difference there), or watch "reality" TV, or listen to Faux News and pretend it's truthsome and logical.When that mood hits, there needs to be something at hand that will scratch the itch as well as offer some pleasure in the process. This story did that for me on a few levels. I was quite taken by the characters...I've even been told by some "friends" that the annoying, arrogant, opinionated Gus reminds those perfidious ingrates of me!...and I was quite pleased with the author's plot-crafting.I wasn't quite so taken with a few details, such as the missed opportunities for world-building and the overdrawn secondary characters that don't get the screen-time (so to speak) that their qualities set readers up to expect. Still, these are quibbles, and readily susceptible to ironing out as the series (Toad Witch, blurgh not the name I'd've chosen) progresses.This is an investment of $3.99 that pays Kindle owners back with smiles, thrills, and fun in abundance. I say hit the Buy Now button without any hesitation.You'd think that church of his would teach him tolerance. Whatever happened to love thy neighbor?" "Did you miss the Crusades? The Inquisition? Since when has any fundamentalist religion taught religious tolerance?""You have a point," he snorted.Kindle Locations 3851-3853. HekaRose Publishing. Kindle Edition.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Chilling good Fun! “Somebdy Tell Aunt Tillie She’s Dead”By Christina MillerSince being a witch in Los Angeles, doesn’t’ pay squat, and Mara Stephens, is a pin-drop from eviction, she reluctantly accepts a part time gig reading Tarot cards to a bunch of bitchy teenagers. But since Mara has a tendency to tell the truth, this job becomes the last nail-in-the-coffin, so to speak. Now in desperation, Mara casts a money spell, something her long departed mother wisely suggested she stay away from.Before she can say, Behomet, she’s on the road for Wisconsin to claim her inheritance of a cottage… and her great-aunt’s dire warnings of the dangers awaiting her. Okay, between the seriously scary ghosts bent on taking over Mara’s life, there’s some incredibly witty dialogue, and in a few cases, hilarious laugh out loud stuff. To quote: Mara asks Gus, “Do you believe that ghosts can come back from the dead and have sex with a living person?”“No.”“Why not?”Because if it could happen, I would have already done it. You know how many hot gay men have crossed over? Hubba, hubba.”Great book, can’t wait to read the next sexy, funny read in Mara’s adventures. Highly recommended!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Life isn’t looking too good for Mara. She’d lost her job, unemployment is running out, the job market isn’t good and she is now losing her apartment because the apartment manager equates wicca with devil worshipping. So it sounds fortuitous when she learns her great Aunt Tillie has died and left her everything, including a cottage in WI. Only Tillie’s ghost attempts to kill her to get her to leave; for her own good. And of course Mara won’t be driven out.Mara’s best friend is a gay male witch; a pretty likeable character. And you’ll eventually come to like Aunt Tillie. But getting to that point was difficult for me. Between dream sequences that may or not be dreams, as well as conversations that should have been tightened up, the story dragged and I found it easy to set aside a number of times.Witches, ghosts, mythology, calling on the good and the bad, and possession; you get quite a variety for a book about a witch.Quite a bit of sex, although none of it is detailed. Enough verbiage is given to have you making assumptions or speculations. There are some editing errors, mostly involving the wrong word tense or a word missing from a sentence. But editing-wise it‘s a great deal cleaner than most self-published books I’ve read.It’s an okay read that I picked up for free. But I can’t say that I enjoyed it enough to pay for the second book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Very funny, fast paced, and suspenseful. The relationship between Mara and Gus reminds me of how I've been with some of my friends. Looking forward to the next book in the series.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I liked it, I was bored, I was on the edge of my seat, I was bored, I was interested in the inner dialog, I was so sick of hearing it, I loved the humor, I found it stupid at Inappropriate times, it built up to the sexy moment only to have it swosh done,....and WTH happened to the side characters ? They just disappeared out of the story for a while ? It started out fun and got annoying with the constant need to define.
    What a mess huh ? I really couldn't come to a solid like or dislike for this one. The heroine seemed so self absorbed, she thought everything out, EVERYTHING. I just wanted her to shut up and get on with it already. The premise of the story had been good, there was just too much other junk thrown in that was just made me scratch my head and ask why ? I wanted more of the cottage and it's background, not the apt., the crazy lady, the guy at the store, the weather, the cleaning details....
    I can see this author's ability, it's there, she has the gift of story telling. She had excellent characters, and wonderful snarky comments, a new fresh plot. I hope she continues, with a good editor to tame her down. She must have been bubbling over with things to tell and she put them in there. : )
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Christina Miller's witchy tale is running on standard fare: cue one more-powerful-than-she-realizes witch with a serious crush on fattening foods and a spell of forced celibacy, a hunky but gay best friend, and circumstances beyond her control that both guide her path and inform the reader of contemporary Wiccan beliefs and practices. But, despite the predictability of these elements, the story itself is delightful. While the protagonist is not one I felt a connection with, the story itself was humorous and engaging, and the conclusion wasn't exactly what I predicted, which made it all the more fun. While I could certainly do without the (admittedly minor) lecture material (on spelling tools, for example), Miller's explanations are less intrusive than some others and can easily be overlooked by those "in the know." Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead is god fun, and it's a steal of a Kindle buy.

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Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead - Christiana Miller

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