Pru, Heck & Hao-Hao

By Martin Jones

Ridiculously authentic life episodes are interspersed with thought-provoking pieces and downright literary cheek in this latest collection. There are stories based in the outdoors, like Gorging and Where's the Proof? and stories that deal with deeper issues, like Hao-Hao and One Man's Good Name. There is plenty of humour, and the whiff of real-life that the reader will recognise.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Martin Jones
• Release date: Jun 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310125683

Martin Jones

Martin is an award-winning photographer. His interest in wildlife photography led him to the Isle of Mull, beginning a love affair with the island, where he retired with his wife, Stella. Their interest in biodiversity resulted in a huge catalogue of photographs of Mull's unique scenery, fauna, flora and fungi.

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Pru, Heck & Hao-Hao

By Martin Jones

Published by Martin Jones at Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Martin Jones

Discover these other titles by Martin Jones at Smashwords.com

Visiting Chris

Plummeting, Piste & Playing Possum (and other stories)

Yokozuna Dreams with Rats and Mutts

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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CONTENTS

A COMPANY MAN

WAITING ROOM

A CASE OF OVER-SENSITIVITY

HECK RANKIN

WHERE'S THE PROOF?

TO BE READ ALOUD

PRU'S GAME

PIGEON PANIC

GARY SMITTEN

HAO-HAO

A FOOLPROOF SOLUTION

ONE MAN'S GOOD NAME

TRAMPING PARTY 3 - GORGING

A COMPANY MAN

They were lucky to have a man like him – young, intelligent, computer-savvy, and cool. He was a product of the best Information and Communications Technology course at the best university. He had graduated with Credit (not as good as graduating with Distinction or with Excellence, or with Honour, but he had passed his course nonetheless) and he knew that he could name his price when it came to arranging a salary package. Companies were lining up to beat a path to his door to come cap in hand begging him for his services. Bob thought in clichés.

Not only was he a brilliant computer technician and programmer, but he was a problem-solver par excellence and he knew how to hack into the systems of rival firms. No, he hadn’t had a job before which required him to be on time in the morning, work hard all day, sometimes stay late to finish a problem, and go home late, only to repeat the routine day in day out, but he hadn’t needed to be particularly punctual to classes to pick up enough of the course to graduate. And hey, isn’t this the ‘now’ generation? We want things now. We don’t want to wait for them. And he was so hot he could deliver the goods now. Just give him the problem and he’d solve it. Now.

Bob gave his face a final dab of moisturiser, ran his hands through his heavily gelled hair, and tore himself away from the bathroom mirror. And now it was time to go in to Acme Industries and blow their socks off with his brilliance.

His first day on the job - a Wednesday - was a breeze. The bosses were cordial, even pleasant (although one or two glanced at his spiky hairstyle before shaking his hand), the secretaries were efficient (none seemed interested – yet – but give them time!) and his co-workers were helpful. He was given some simple programming to do by the boss, Jerry, who had hired him. This was going to be easy!

Day two was like day one, although he had a distinct impression that some of the older members of the firm were casting disapproving looks in his direction. Nobody said anything, but he detected a certain coolness from some of the bosses. Odd, he thought. Maybe I’m just misreading it. Probably a certain amount of envy that a young chap like me could be so good at what he does, and of course the older guys would find the whole computer-connectedness thing a bit beyond them.

By the third day, there was a definite chill in the air whenever Bob encountered a senior member of staff. They would tend to talk as briefly as possible to him, glance at his ear studs or his hair or his unlaced trainers before cutting off the conversation and turning away. It began to dawn on him that they were concerned at his appearance, something he had really never given a lot of thought to. When you’re as good as he was at unravelling the mysteries of computer programmes, you didn’t need to look like everybody else. And besides, who dressed formal these days? Only the worst kind of nerds.

Anyway, he was really shining in his job – the programming was all minor stuff just tweaking some accounting systems – nothing too difficult. When would they give him something really meaty to test him? His talents were being wasted. He had been there three whole days now and no-one had taken him aside and laid out ‘the big one’ that would make his name in the company, and make him even more marketable than he already was. You had to keep yourself in hand, ready to drop a hat at a moment’s notice if you were head-hunted by the opposition. This was the modern world. No old-fashioned loyalties here. Allegiance to the firm lasted only as long as the bottom line was the biggest available. Otherwise, it was hasta la vista, baby, it’s been nice knowin’ ya.

Day four was Monday, and finally there was some progress! One of the head honchos, Mr Black, came up to him and asked him to stay after work for a few drinks – on the firm. A sort of ‘Welcome to Acme and Ajax Ltd’. Bob knew how these things worked. It was subtle. These guys were big business. They didn’t come straight out and say they wanted to promote him or they wanted to entrust a huge important project to him. No, they did it more subtly – a few drinks, maybe a dinner, an expense account, a company car, then, just when they thought they had softened him up, they put a ‘proposal’ to him. Well, no harm in letting them think he wasn’t wise to it all. Yes, he wouldn’t mind enjoying a few little perks, then when the time came for straight talking, he would ratchet up the pay offer they were certain to give him.

At five o’clock, Mr Black was waiting for him to finish. They went across the street to a noisy bar a lot of the Acme and Ajax workers frequented. Bob drank a beer while Mr Black made small talk. (All part of the strategy, thought Bob – be friendly, get to know me, then, when my defences are down, hit me with the Big News. Ha!) Bob tossed the long hair out of his face – he had run out of gel - and appraised Black coolly through shrewd eyes and pursed lips. Black was staring at something above his head, it seemed, or maybe at his hair. Before he could ask him what he was looking at, Mr Black asked, Another beer? and before