Porn Again

By LazarusInfinity

Harper 'Happy' Downman has no idea what's about to hit him. A typical button-down, Christian conservative American with a quaint home, a lovely wife and a dull sex life, he lives a life of monotonous mediocrity in the sun washed paradise that is South Florida. At the height of the Great Recession, Happy's world takes a sharp turn when he loses his job due to corporate downsizing. Things go from bad to worse when he returns home to find his wife in bed with another man.

Struggling to find stable employment in the midst of an impending divorce, Happy's misfortune plummets further with the sudden arrival of his lecherous older brother. The black sheep of the family, he tempts Happy with a 'stimulating' solution that's sure to raise eyebrows within his ultra-conservative family. Relocating to the decadent, hedonistic streets of New Orleans, Happy finds himself in the most unlikely position...as the manager of a 'retail store for couples'.

Caught in a whirlwind of debauchery, novelties and colorful characters, Happy is challenged to turn around the worst store in the company while also being forced to accept the harsh reality of his role in his failed marriage. In the process, he also finds himself learning quite a bit about life and love from the very people he was once prejudiced against. For a man with a stellar reputation as a salesman, Happy's about to learn the true meaning behind the adage 'Sex Sells'.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LazarusInfinity
• Release date: Jul 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310810596

LazarusInfinity

lazarusInfinity is a prolific artist heavily influenced by a who's who of incredible writers from Langston Hughes and Ernest Hemingway to August Wilson and Arthur Miller. Continuing to stretch creative boundaries in addition to playwriting and fiction, lazarusInfinity is currently at work on several screenplays along with another novel.

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PORN AGAIN

By lazarusInfinity.

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2014 by lazarusInfinity.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission by the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Website: http://www.lazarusinfinity.net

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/lazarusInfinity

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lazarusInfinity

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Interior Design by Jovana Shirley, Unforeseen Editing, www.unforeseenediting.com

Cover designed by www.damonza.com

acknowledgments

to the readers

disclaimer

ACT ONE

prologue

part one

part two

part three

part four

ACT TWO

part five

part six

part seven

part eight

ACT THREE

part nine

part ten

part eleven

epilogue

about the author

other works by lazarusInfinity

playlist

To all the people who provided years of hilarious, sexy and insightful stories that I could draw from…

PORN AGAIN makes reference to several popular and top selling adult novelties throughout its storyline. For those interested in any of the products mentioned, you can check them out via the following websites:

www.docjohnson.com

www.liberator.com

www.lelo.com

www.thescreamingo.com

www.ohmibod.com

www.jimmyjane.com

www.kamasutra.com

www.we-vibe.com

And as always…practice safe sex…

A (1) : STRONG AFFECTION FOR ANOTHER ARISING OUT OF KINSHIP OR PERSONAL TIES (2) : ATTRACTION BASED ON SEXUAL DESIRE : AFFECTION AND TENDERNESS FELT BY LOVERS (3) : AFFECTION BASED ON ADMIRATION, BENEVOLENCE, OR COMMON INTERESTS

B : AN ASSURANCE OF AFFECTION

-Merriam Webster Dictionary

C : NATURE’S WAY OF TRICKING PEOPLE INTO REPRODUCING.

-Urban Dictionary

A : MAKE SURE YOU GET SOME AFTER READING THIS BOOK.

-lazarusInfinity

Let’s talk about sex…and more importantly sex toys in general. Yes gentlemen, your girlfriends, wives, mistresses, assistants, side chicks and whatever you people are calling them nowadays will at some point become curious about experimenting with sex toys…if they haven’t already. Contrary to what a lot of men believe, a dildo will not replace you in a relationship, nor will a vibrator. If anything, it can ultimately add some extra fire to a relationship that will eventually run the risk of falling into the monotony of everyday life. You chose to date, fall in love with or even marry this woman. If you can’t do kinky, sick, twisted and depraved, repugnant acts with the woman you love, well whom can you do them with??? Sex toys are just that-toys. They’re there for her pleasure…and yours. There’s nothing crazy, weird or sinful about it-just ask your local congressman or preacher. Modern America’s views on sex are so twisted and ridiculous that whips and chains in the bedroom are frowned upon, but buying a shotgun at Wal-Mart is perfectly okay. Go figure…

Another thing to consider, do not become intimidated when the love of your life brings up the issue of trying new things and bringing you inside a sex store. Once again, this can be a new and exciting way to experience a side of your lady that you probably never knew existed. Speaking on the subject of being in a sex store, there is no ‘specific type’ of person who shops there. That’s just a lame excuse thrown around by women and men with way too many skeletons in the closet. You know that seemingly sweet, innocent, hard working and beautiful young lady down the street whom everyone adores? Behind closed doors, that sweet little angelic soul can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Whether it’s men or women, it’s ALWAYS the quiet, shy ones that you have to watch out for the most. As for the issue at hand, do not get intimidated when she brings this subject up, or the subject of trying something different. Depending on how crazy it sounds, the average guy will have a tendency to freak out. This is not good. It may not necessarily be that she really wants to try said kinky, sick, twisted and depraved, repugnant act…it may be that she just wants to hear your thoughts on it. If you freak out and blow things out of proportion, you may run the risk of her never truly feeling open to communicate with you about some of the most personal and crazy things going through her mind. On a side note gentlemen: PENIS PUMPS DO NOT WORK. Some may argue otherwise, but umm…no. Will it technically make the penis bigger??? Technically yes, provided you use a cock ring with it to trap the increased blood flow inside the penis. No, you will not remain that size or eventually grow to the size of your favorite male porn star. If anything, use it too much and you may find yourself dependent on it for maintaining an erection. For the record, while you’ll find a lot of women who swear by the adage that size does matter, the average woman cares about width, not length. Loosely translated, use your dick properly instead of being one, pay her a lot of attention, buy cute shoes that don’t hurt…and learn to use that tongue for something other than saying stupid shit.

ANAL SEX. As a wise soul once said: Free your mind and that ass will follow. While there are a lot of women out there who openly enjoy anal sex (and God bless those of you who do), there are many more women out there who don’t…deal with it. Anal sex comes with so many myths, taboos and misinformation that it will take an average woman a lot of time and more importantly trust to take it to that level. Keep in mind that if you love this woman, let her be the one to decide if she wants to go that route. Men put way too much pressure on women for anal sex these days. As a tip for women: if you happen to fall into this category and you’re constantly being pressured, ask your significant other to also take one for the team. Speaking of which…

Roughly 20-30% of your boyfriends or husbands are either gay, bi, bi-curious or on the ‘down low’. Don’t shoot the messenger; it is what it is. It can be guaranteed that right now at this very moment, some of you women reading this either have or had a boyfriend or husband who has secretly shopped at a sex store, bought gay porn, asked ONLY for the DVDs themselves instead of the cases they came in, and then asked the cashier as to what business name will show up on the credit card statement. If not, they’re definitely checking it out online. Some of your favorite preachers, pastors, teachers and even police officers have bought gay magazines or gay porn discreetly. Just for trivia’s sake, the next time you see a ‘straight’ man walking out of a sex store with either a plain white, brown or black paper bag…chances are there’s some titillating male-on-male entertainment inside.

On the flipside of things, if your woman is feeling a bit more adventurous than usual and she gets the crazy idea to stick either a finger, some non-descript or even phallic shape device in there…DO NOT FREAK OUT. Studies have shown that periodic stimulation of the prostate is not only healthy, but can also be the most intense orgasm a man can experience. Then again, if you go for this sort of thing, you just may be a member of the 20-30% previously referenced.

When it comes to the issue concerning sex toys for men and women, there is definitely a double standard. The idea of a woman, whether single or not buying a sex toy and then later pleasuring herself with said object is just, well…sexy. We hear about it, talk about it and see it in movies. Yet when it comes to the subject of a man getting to love himself a little better courtesy of a blow up doll, live sex doll or pocket pussy, the rules change. This is America folks-if a woman can be free to explore her sexuality and comfort courtesy of electronic devices or other, then men should be able to do the same. Then again, the idea of a grown man watching Internet porn at home on a Friday night with one hand on the mouse or trackpad and the other on a pocket pussy is just plain lazy. Have a shower, throw on a suit and go out on the town to meet some women. Besides, AppleCare doesn’t cover damages caused by semen on a computer. And as for the myth that Internet porn or cybersex is the safest sex you can have, that’s not true. You can get a virus…

THIS PRODUCT IS SOLD AS A NOVELTY ONLY. NOT INTENDED FOR ACTUAL USE.

Sweet oblivion. Pure, sweet, uncorrupted oblivion…that’s what she tasted like on our first night together, and I dined on her soul like a madman in the most beautiful prison in which there was no escape. Candace Rhodes was her name…’Candy’, as I liked to call her, and man did she ever taste like the sweetest candy on Earth. Fresh out of college, the employment boom in South Florida wasn’t so much a boom for me as it was a faint trickle; a stark reminder of the challenges of life in the Bush economy. Somehow, the dream of one day owning a nice, palatial home in Miami withered down to a modest 2-bedroom dwelling in the Victoria Park section of Fort Lauderdale. Still, those early years with Candace made it all the more enjoyable and special.

Don’t worry love, we’ll make it work. Just stay positive, she would often say with that playful gleam in her eye that suggested she knew something I didn’t. That was often the case.

Even now I can still see her standing there, with the brilliance of the morning sun enveloping her like something out of a classic film. Her voice, delicate yet filled with passion; sometimes I still can’t get enough of it. Introduced to her by my piece of shit brother who shall remain nameless, she too was fresh out of college and working in an art gallery. Personally, I don’t care too much for art. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you the difference between a Monet and a Dali, and neither could my brother for that matter. When the son of a bitch introduced us, it was on a double date that he’d setup. Candace had a college friend in town for two weeks that she was entertaining and thought it might be a great night out for all of us. Needless to say, my brother had that famous Craigslist look in his eyes the first time he saw the poor woman’s nipples peeking out from behind a modest blouse. I should’ve seen this coming sooner. To this day, I still can’t remember what her name was, but I do remember why my brother’s interests along with his hormones were on high alert. His latest potential victim was nearly the spitting image of that 80’s movie star and teen icon Molly Ringwald. Star of such popular John Hughes films as Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club, nearly every guy in America had a major crush on that woman at some point. It must have been something about those lips, and if you’ve never heard of Molly Ringwald, you missed out. True, they were cool films but personally I was always a classics man, Casablanca in particular.

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine…

Eager to make a great impression or a believable show of bullshit, my brother decided that we should all visit an art gallery, followed by dinner, drinks and drunken ass fucking for the rest of the night. Granted, he didn’t put it in those exact words, but you get the idea. The bastard even dressed for the occasion, donning his best clearance suit from the Men’s Warehouse complete with a rolled up tube sock stuffed in his pants to make his dick look bigger than it really was. Sometimes I couldn’t tell what was worse, the idea that he thought that actually worked, or the fact that he always managed to find a woman dumb enough to fall for it. My brother, the failed attempt by our parents of breeding what could be considered a decent, respectable male was a nymphomaniac jackass from the beginning. For instance, back when we were kids…

A much younger version of the man in question finished his usual routine of raking leaves off the freshly mowed lawn and bagged them up near the side of the house. Another bright and sunny, picturesque day in South Florida, he thought to himself as he caught a glimpse of the neighbor across the street watering her lawn. Mrs. Harrison. ‘Darling’ as she was affectionately known in the neighborhood, every man on the block went out of his way to be nice to her. Whether it was helping her move new furniture into her home or little kids helping carry the groceries back from the store, she almost never lifted a finger on her own. Maybe it was her sunny disposition and affectionate nature…or maybe it was just the biggest pair of boobs a growing kid had ever seen complete with a body that both Bettie Page and Marilyn Monroe would’ve killed for. The ‘Mrs.’ part came from the fact that she had been married for six years, although very few in the neighborhood ever saw her husband. Some said he was in the military. Others claimed he was a traveling salesman, but no one really knew for sure. What was known was the fact that everyday at 4 p.m. when Mrs. Harrison would head outside to water her lawn, it was definitely MUST SEE TV. Decked out in one of her tightest summer outfits, she always gave a great show, bending over in poses that she had to know people were waiting for, especially us kids. While most of us along with the adults pretended not to notice, my brother was usually perched high up in the tree just outside our bedroom window with his trusty camera. For 50 cents a pop, every kid in the neighborhood got their own personalized Polaroid snapshot of Mrs. Harrison in her finest poses. A dollar got lucky customers nude shots directly from her bedroom window, which was somehow always cracked open. She was quite the exhibitionist, as we kids could attest to from all the weird noises coming from her bedroom late at night, to which either the mailman or local preacher always had to sneak out before morning.

Heading inside for a fresh glass of juice, he grew visibly frustrated from the absence of his older brother who was nowhere to be seen. The kitchen was a virtual collage of trash, dirty dishes and scraps of food scattered everywhere, with loud music blaring from one of the upstairs rooms. The parents were also nowhere to be seen. The little boy stormed up the stairs in a huff, his run-down sneakers nearly burning holes in the carpeted steps as he made his way up. A scowl slithered across his face as he stepped into his bedroom…and it got worse very quickly.

Much to his shock and dismay, the room was littered with pictures of completely nude women ripped from the pages of Playboy Magazine, along with other graphic pictures torn from their father’s hidden stash of porno magazines. Breasts, butts and photos of men and women doing things the kid could have never dreamed of were all over the place. On the edge of his freshly made bed sat none other than his brother…stark naked with a sly grin on his face, magazine in hand…and a rather large tube sock stuffed over his penis…

See what I mean?

Back to the night in question. It was a high class, sophisticated, bourgeois and rather boring affair filled with indecipherable banter of ‘post-modern this’, ‘expressionistic that’. Personally, I couldn’t have cared less about some poor bastard who went crazy and cut off his ear. The only thing I could think of…was Candace. Even now I can remember what she was wearing. A very form fitting black dress, which kissed every curve of hers beautifully, caught my attention from the moment she said hello. She had these big eyes, nervous and shy, complete with that smile that stirred something deep within. After the initial introduction, she and I hit it off very well, spending hours on the phone like two high school teenagers talking about everything from favorite movies to books. It was the first time in my life I’d found a female that I felt completely comfortable confiding in, which was great news for our parents. For years, they all but ignored the exploits of my brother and instead focused on my love life, or lack thereof. Yet when Candace came along, that changed everything.

In spite of my complete ignorance of all things artistic, she was such a sweetheart, grabbing me by the arm and teaching me things that I’d never cared about before. She playfully educated me on the greatness of artistic giants like Van Gogh, Salvador Dali and Barnett Newman. Every time she touched my hand, I could feel this intense electricity just from our fingertips meeting. My brother on the other hand, his grubby paws were all over that poor woman’s ass the entire time. To his credit, she seemed to enjoy it. In spite of this, I was completely under Candace’s spell for the duration of the night. Ever had one of those nights that you just never wanted to end? Well that’s what this was. Every step of the way, I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. It was almost as if the paintings on the walls were suddenly coming alive, and I was now drowning in some surrealist portrait straight from the hallowed confines of the world famous Louvre itself. I couldn’t help staring at her, blushing at the way she ran her delicate fingers through fiery red locks of hair…and those freckles? Oh my God! She was the perfect ginger if there ever was one. The more time we spent walking along the corridors of the gallery, I couldn’t help but find myself strolling a few steps behind her to catch a faint glimpse of her figure. Every line of her was sublime perfection; every movement of her was picturesque poetry in motion, from the curl of her neck all the way down to a very nice and toned ass just waiting to be tasted. And those legs were the stuff of a dancer’s dream. Every now and then, she would look back and catch me undressing her with my eyes, to which she’d always flash a playful wink and smile. I could do nothing more but smile back.

Dinner that night was a dizzying blur of stimulating conversation, wine and subtle flirting that was beginning to make me sweat. Candace had this way of drawing a man into her eyes, nearly draining him of all sense of logic and reason. I tried desperately to listen to her words and respond in kind, but the blood in my brain couldn’t stop rushing down South. We continued to feed each other from our respective plates along with dessert. God, I wanted to taste her so badly. Across the table, I could sense my brother’s sophomoric charm working its magic, as I caught him whispering his usual pornographic sonnets in his date’s ear. Her face lit up every time, and I could easily sense him slowly guiding her hands underneath the table to his crotch. Yep, it was going to be one of those nights…but somehow I didn’t give a damn. I had been blessed to spend time with an absolute ravishing woman…and those freckles. Goddamn those freckles! They caught me every time. She inched closer to me and we continued whatever the fuck we were talking about. Her fragrance suited her perfectly, dulling my senses even further. She was so close; I could feel her breath on me, welcoming it…tasting it. Once again, our fingertips just barely grazed each other, and I could feel the perspiration building as our eyes met. Her lips were so close, and I wanted to feel them so badly that the anticipation was maddening. I’m pretty sure she could feel me bulging below, to which she welcomed it with a wicked smile. I could quickly feel my stomach sinking as she placed her hand in my lap, stroking the length of it…waiting for it. She wouldn’t have to wait long.

The cab ride back to my brother’s apartment could’ve easily been something out of Taxicab Confessions, as the driver, a tall and gangly Eastern European by the name of Yorge quizzed us on some rather personal shit that was beginning to annoy me. I probably would have said something if it hadn’t been for Candace siting on my lap, making a subtle habit of adjusting herself on my crotch in an attempt to feel the full effect of it. Having her skin so close to mine drove me crazy. Silky smooth and delicious, I eagerly awaited the answer as to just how tasty she really was. When we got back to the apartment, I never got a chance to admire my brother’s sudden talent for keeping a tasteful and clean living space. With several glasses of wine coursing through our systems, Candace and I wasted no time in making our way to the couch, kissing as if it would be the last time we would ever see each other again. My brother eagerly dragged his all too excited new trophy into his bedroom where there was no telling what sick and depraved shit he had in store for her.

Candace’s eyes locked deeply into mine, and everything got dizzy. My breathing quickly intensified as we stripped each other completely bare. My mind urged me to savor the moment and slowly undress this beautiful work of art in front of me but…fuck that. I couldn’t wait any longer. Goddamn. She truly was the perfect ginger. Her lips locked on to mine again, tasting like the sweetest death and the sweetest life all into one. Tongues merging into one, I grabbed a full mane of red, curly hair, pulling her back as I took my time tracing the surface of her lips, making my way down her neck.

Aww fuck yeah bitch! Suck my cock! Suck it you fucking whore!

I swear to God, my brother was a complete fucking asshole. We could hear nearly every word and grunt coming through the wall along with that God-awful sound of his date gagging on him. It almost sounded as if some sick bastard was choking a seal. Candace kissed me softly, directing my attention back to her. In the faint light creeping through the huge windows, she looked as if she was the epitome of love’s greatest design…and somehow I was but a mere mortal blessed with the opportunity to be with her. My body hovered over hers’ savoring every last sight of the meal as her soft legs suddenly wrapped around me. We kissed each other for what seemed to be an infinite moment, with time no longer becoming a concept either one of us could fathom. The way she smelled and tasted could drive any man crazy…and I was just getting started. No motion was wasted, spending every moment to take in the essence of her, kissing every inch on my way down. Every nerve of hers was responsive to the touch, and I could feel her nipples growing even more erect as I made my way toward them, nibbling, kissing and sucking along the way.

That’s a good girl. That’s such a good girl. Take it all the way down. Take it balls deep! Oh my God, you nasty bitch!

Don’t stop, Candace whispered as she could feel my brother’s antics really annoying me. Still, I couldn’t help but lose myself once again in her. Every bit of flesh was exquisite, as I could almost taste her heartbeat, softly tracing my lips down her body. She was so warm, yet I could easily feel her shivering with anticipation. Matching in intensity was my own growing erection that was nearly rubbing a hole in the cheap carpet on the floor. I continued making my way down, kissing her waist, followed by her hips and inner thighs. She relented with only a faint whimper as the anticipation was growing to such an extent that it could’ve killed us both. I carefully kissed everywhere except for one spot, but even I couldn’t hold on any longer. Candace quickly arched her back as if a jolt of electricity shot through her and I kissed it softly. There’s something about the very first taste of a woman that you just never forget. Now if you’re one of these typical male ego-dominated jackasses like for example-

Take it you fucking slut! Whose pussy it? Whose pussy is it???

Yep…like this ignorant fuck in the other room, you never truly learn the very important fact that tasting a woman isn’t just something you do to apologize for whatever you fucked up this time. It also isn’t something you do just because she asked for it and won’t stop talking about it. Tasting a woman, ‘eating pussy’ or whatever you want to call it is nothing less than a privilege that most men never fully learn to appreciate. Sadly to say, it took me quite a long time to finally figure this out. Granted I had my share of wild days in college, but being with Candace was different. Somehow, she’d unlocked something deep within me that had been repressed for a while, and I wanted to thank her in kind. That first taste was like being baptized all over again, and I savored every drop as if I would never see her again. Like I said, there’s something about that first taste that you just never forget. In that moment, you realize that not only is a woman the greatest thing God ever created…you also realize that in creating her, He was just showing off. She had a taste that lingered in one’s memory like the sweetest of fruit, and every time I could feel her inner thighs twitch, I wanted to please her even more. Her slick wetness dripping from my fingers, we shared the taste of her in between sessions of pleasing her more, dining on her relentlessly. It all felt like the greatest dream…

Drowning within a sea of pleasure and pain, I see my reflection magnified through your energy, sparking chakras into flame. I can't find my way through this maze, but to be lost in the nightmare is as sweet as Sunday morning, as tempting as the first bite and as beautifully painful as a climax before death. Dancing circles in each other's existence, can I be with you? Or better yet can I be you? Can I exist within the surface of your flesh, sparking the blood to boil? Can I be the catalyst that sparks the mind, or the water that cools the soul? Can I be the fire that burns through your memory? Can I be the quiet whisper in your dreams? Can I be the nightmare you love to relive, injecting your planet with my memories and fears? Pain and passion intertwined with venom and virtue, till we wake up in the mirror…till we become the mirror, till we are the same reflection. So potent is the perception of becoming both your friend and enemy, the energy is so explosive. The fear is so potent, it will consume us eventually-until we become but ashes and passion, burning within the surface of the mirror. Can you see me? Can you be me? Can you feel my thoughts at your weakest point? Can you feel us destroying each other, only to relive the danger again...and again?

It seemed almost an eternity that I had her thighs wrapped around me, enjoying the very breath of her. I didn’t want to tear myself away from the taste, but I had to enjoy her in every way. Quickly she clung to me as I sat up, clutching on to me as she kissed me deeply, wanting to once more feel the taste of herself from my lips. I immediately lifted her up; her thighs tightly wrapped around me before slowly letting her drift down on it…

Letting her feel just a bit…and then right back out.

It wouldn’t be that easy, and the anticipation was staggering, judging from the bite mark she placed onto my shoulder. As did I, she wanted it so badly. Something had to give. I laid her back down on the floor, staring deeply into her, giving her the sweetest of kisses as I began to tease her again…

Giving her a bit more…and then right back out once again.

The sight of her biting her lips in frustration was beginning to turn me on even further. Her body began to shake, begging for it as she tried to position herself forward. Every single time her precious lips got close to taking it in, I would pull back, feeling that familiar slick wetness drip down to the floor.

Kiss me, she begged.

And how could I resist? How could I not indulge myself once more in what had to have been the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen? I leaned in slowly, and she pulled me deeper into her…

All the way…

Every single bit of me inside her, we both nearly struggled to catch our breath as I held every bit of it deeply within. Grabbing me from behind, she pulled me even deeper inside, as we ravished each other madly throughout the seemingly endless hours of that beautiful night. It came as a surprise to no one in the months that followed how close we grew as a couple…all the way up to the day we exchanged vows. Sweet oblivion. Pure, sweet, uncorrupted oblivion…that’s what she tasted like on our first night together, and I dined on her soul like a madman in the most beautiful prison in which there was no escape. Candace Rhodes was