Mystic Cool: A proven approach to transcend stress, achieve optimal brain function, and maximize your creative intelligence.
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About this ebook
As wonderful as this might sound, for many the journey may be anything but. Every major survey shows that the majority of us are plagued by stress and anxiety, which is toxic to the brain. The new science is clear: transcend stress, regain higher brain function, and the mind lights up with creative intelligence. Mystic Cool shows us how to calmly turn our backs on stress and walk in the direction of the brilliant life we were born to live.
Don Joseph Goewey
Don Joseph Goewey is the executive director of the Center for Spiritual Exchange, the official archive for the works of Anthony De Mello. Prior to that, Don managed the department of psychiatry at Stanford University Medical School and directed the Center for Attitudinal Healing (CAH), where he helped pioneer a psycho-spiritual approach to overcoming catastrophic life events. At CAH, Don worked with people faced with some of the most stressful situations on earth, including people facing terminal illness, parents struggling with the loss of a child, prisoners serving life sentences, and refugees of the genocidal war in Bosnia struggling with extreme post- traumatic stress. For its breakthrough approach, CAH was awarded the Excellence in Medicine citation by the American Medical Association. Don also spent six years directing a think tank that integrated breakthroughs in neuroscience into a psychospiritual model for rewiring the brain to extinguish stress reactions and amplify the higher brain function that enables a human being to flourish. The model has been successfully applied in the high-pressure work environments of Fortune 100 companies. For more information on The End of Stress, please visit TheEndOfStressBook.com.
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Mystic Cool - Don Joseph Goewey
PRAISE FOR DON JOSEPH GOEWEY’S Mystic Cool
"In Mystic Cool, Don Goewey provides the neurological proof that attitude is everything. Mystic Cool proves what spirituality has asserted through the ages—that success is inner peace and succeeding is letting go of fear."
Gerald G. Jampolsky, MD, author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear and
founder of a school of psychology based on attitude
"The principles and concepts contained in Mystic Cool are all part of a training program Don Goewey has presented at Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. My employees and I have found real value with his approach to transcending stress and actualizing more of our innate potential to succeed in life."
Richard Weintraub, PhD, director of the Professional Development
Bureau, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department
"Compassion, kindness, joy, and tranquility are our birthright, and Don Goewey shows us how to reclaim them to nourish ourselves, our relationships, and our planet. Mystic Cool provides a specific guide to achieving for yourself now what Plutarch postulated two thousand years ago: that what we achieve inwardly will change outer reality."
Valorie Beer, Zen Buddhist priest,
former corporate executive, and author
"Not achieving the results you want or need? Wonder what happened to the communication, cooperation, and collaboration in your organization? It’s highly likely your organization is suffering from the affects of stress. In Mystic Cool, Don Joseph Goewey explains the source of stress and how to eliminate it…forever. This is the ultimate leadership book!"
Jim Horan, president and CEO, One Page Business Plan Company
and author of The One Page Business Plan
"Having read and studied a good deal of modern neuroscience, I am particularly impressed by Don Goewey’s brilliant new book, Mystic Cool. He makes the brain come alive in his imminently practical and immediately usable book. When people understand what’s happening between their ears, they have more power to exercise choice and lead truly outstanding lives. This fact makes Mystic Cool a no-brainer choice to read and apply."
Daniel Ellenberg, PhD, consultant, therapist,
and seminar leader, Authentic Leadership Institute
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Copyright © 2009 by Don Joseph Goewey
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever without the prior written permission of Atria Books/Beyond Words Publishing, Inc., except where permitted by law.
Managing editor: Lindsay S. Brown
Editor: Marie Hix
Copyeditor: Ali McCart
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ATRIA BOOKS and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc. Beyond Words Publishing is a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Goewey, Don Joseph.
Mystic cool: a proven approach to transcend stress, achieve optimal brain function, and maximize your creative intelligence / Don Joseph Goewey.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
1. Stress (Psychology)—Popular works. 2. Anxiety—Popular works. 3. Neuroplasticity—Popular works. I. Title.
BF575.S75G58 2009
155.9'042—dc22
2008046649
ISBN-13: 978-1-4391-0254-1
ISBN-10: 1-4391-0254-6
The corporate mission of Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.: Inspire to Integrity
Visit us on the World Wide Web:
http://www.SimonSays.com
This book is dedicated to Bonny Meyer
To my grandchildren
Jaden, Kalia, Lilah, Sadie, Gracie, Quinn, and Mia
To their grandchildren and
to the grandchildren of their grandchildren
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction by Valerie Land Henderson
Prologue: Up to Me
1. Ordinary Genius
2. Dragon, The Primitive Brain
3. Apollo, The Neocortex
4. Mars, The Emotional Brain
5. The Mystical Brain
6. Awareness: The Storm
7. The Eye of the Storm
8. The Neuroplasticity of Practice
9. The First Quality of Mystic Cool: Quietly Engaged, Fully Present
10. The Second Quality of Mystic Cool: Calm and Clear Inside, Regardless of Outside
11. The Third Quality of Mystic Cool: Connected and Connecting
12. The Fourth Quality of Mystic Cool: The Whole that Transcends the Fragments
Epilogue: Never, Never, Never Give Up
Addendum: A Simple Practice
Notes
Acknowledgments
As in most long journeys, the distance traveled by Mystic Cool required the support of a number of people, all of whom I wish to acknowledge here.
Key to the early effort involved the staff and board of the International Center for Attitudinal Healing including Louise Franklin, Jimmy Pete, Dezorah Smith, Richard Cuadra, Cheryl Geoffrion, Jerry Jampolsky, Jennifer Andrews, Trish Ellis, Lloyd Henderson, Shannon Taylor, Marilyn Robinson, Sharon Pair-Taylor, Joey Roberts, Penelope More, Richard Cohn, Greg Sherwood, John Mays, and Michael Lipson. I especially wish to thank Rick Brandon for his enormous support, practically, emotionally and creatively.
I was also supported by professionals from the world of training and organization development including Dale Biron, Dr. Susannah Baldwin, Andrew Black, Alexandra Jurasin, Valorie Beer, Dr. Lee Jampolsky, Neil Andersen, Jonathan Colton, Marc Verdi, David Goewey, Greg Sherwood, Rinaldo Brutoco and the board of the World Business Academy, and Matthew Mitchell. In addition, I wish to thank my friends Covey Cowan, Terryl Kistler, and Patrick Gleeson for their enormous encouragement during the process. I also want to thank Rick Brennan and Kimberly St. Clair-Davis of ProAttitude for their tactical and moral support.
I owe so much to Len Brutocao of Brutocao Engineering and Construction and to Dickson Buxton of Private Capital Corporation for their faith in this approach and their willingness to bring it into their companies, where it could be tested.
In transposing ideas and concepts into a readable book, I am indebted to my editor, Valerie Land Henderson, for helping me in my aim to simplify a complex subject into clear ideas through which people could come to see themselves and sense the potential for freedom. I owe much to the help of my beloved partner Louise Franklin for lifting several parts of the book to much higher ground.
I am grateful to my agent, Dr. Barbara Neighbors Deal, for opening doors and introducing me to Beyond Words. I am also fortunate to have such visionary publishers as Cindy Black and Richard E. Cohn, who believed in the Mystic Cool message, and to my managing editor, Lindsay Brown, for her craft, intelligence, and good heart.
And of course, I need to thank my family: my children, David, Brent, Sam, and Hollan; my sisters, Anne Marie and Susie; my brother, Paul; and my niece Jacquie. Thank you for all the pats on the back when I needed them.
I especially wish to thank my mother, Audrey Anne Cochran, for her faith in me and her pride in what I was accomplishing. It saddens me that she died before she could hold the hardcover edition of this book in her hands.
Last and most especially, I wish to thank Bonny Meyer, to whom this book is respectfully and lovingly dedicated. Bonny has contributed so much at every level that matters. Without her support and faith, this book would not be in your hands. And it is her deepest wish that this book is not only in your hands but that it is serving your life in the best way it can.
Introduction
Evident throughout this book are the influence and contributions of those who have gone before in the fields of psychology, psychiatry, and science, though it is certain Mystic Cool will have its own unique place in a nonlinear continuum of all three.
On the subject of human nature, well-known American psychologist Carl R. Rogers wrote: …the basic nature of the human being, when functioning freely, is constructive and trustworthy. For me this is an inescapable conclusion from a quarter-century of experience in psychotherapy. When we are able to free the individual from defensiveness, so that he is open to the wide range of his own needs, as well as the wide range of environmental and social demands, his reactions may be trusted to be positive, forward-moving, constructive.
This same philosophy is reflected by Goewey as he emphasizes the power of individuals to influence the quality of their own experience.
When a writer takes on the task of communicating a new vision in an area that has been written about comprehensively, inevitably he will face the limitations of language. It is the age-old problem of new wine in old wineskins. Goewey has succeeded in elucidating his viewpoint brilliantly. He has researched his material extensively, and the entire book is informed with the latest data available in the field of neuroscience.
Readers of this book will benefit from the simple yet profound knowledge to be found here and, in addition, will be enriched by the very personal account given of Goewey’s life journey to this point. The hard-won compassion he has learned to give to himself and others is mirrored in the very nature of this book and its intent: to help sufferers free themselves from the chains of chronic stress and, in the process, from the tyranny of self-blame.
Although it will be useful to the professional, the book’s primary value, I believe, will be to the ordinary individual seeking a pathway to transcending the anxiety and pressures of daily life. Goewey shows simply and clearly how this can be achieved, and is thoroughly convincing in his admonition of its importance.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart wrote, Neither a lofty degree of intelligence, nor imagination, nor both together, go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
I believe this book to be an act of love and of genius.
Valerie Land Henderson
Valerie Land Henderson was assistant to Carl R. Rogers, PhD, coedited with Howard Kirschenbaum The Carl Rogers Reader and Carl Rogers: Dialogues. She was a resident fellow and former director of the Center for Studies of the Person, which was cofounded by Carl Rogers. Valerie also held positions with the Center for Cross-Cultural Communication and the Cener for Attitidunal Healing.
…a new turning, a new attitude, an inner change,
a liberation from all futile concerns…
Thomas Merton
Prologue: Up to Me
In fourteen months I only smiled once, and I didn’t do it consciously. Somebody’s got to find your trail. I guess it must be up to me.
Bob Dylan, Up to Me
Twenty years ago, circumstances converged with my sinking attitude to create a perfect storm of stress. Ironically, it all occurred as my career path appeared to be approaching a summit. Just a year and a half earlier, I had convinced some of the brightest minds in medicine that I was the best of the candidates vying for the position of lead executive officer in the Department of Medicine at Stanford University. This was the largest department in the university and a potential stepping stone to greater things. Everyone close to me was quite impressed when the position was offered to me.
I remember the first day I drove to my job, passing the pasture land where Leland Stanford once grazed his cattle, turning up Pasteur Drive toward the towering oak that fronts the magnificent sandy colored edifice of the medical school. The great fountain at the entrance was spewing streams of water in the air that the wind fanned into a veil through which the building’s stone glimmered. Huge copper bowls with red and yellow vines spilling over the sides hung between the high columns, adorning the simple, almost austere line of the building. That day I thought I was entering Camelot.
It did not take long for that illusion to be dispelled. The place was anything but Camelot. This is not to say working at the medical school was uninspiring. Working with world-class intellects elevated my own thinking and skills. It taught me how to work more effectively with complexity, to be brutally honest with facts, and to identify specious arguments seeking easy solutions. It also exposed me to science, a discipline I had avoided like the plague when I was in school. At Stanford, I came to love science, and for that I am forever grateful. At the same time, it occurred to me that these world-class intellects had world-class egos, and I had a difficult time getting them to cooperate with our strategic plan. Fault finding was rampant and mistakes severely punished, which is, of course, understandable in the field of medicine. But colleagues seemed to relish others’ mistakes. One man’s loss was another’s gain, and it created an atmosphere of distrust. At least, these were my judgments at the time.
The environment was especially hard on women, even for those who held advanced medical degrees. I will never forget the day, early in my tenure, when, returning to my office from a meeting, I observed a female medical resident standing to the side of the department’s front door and crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, I just don’t fit here,
and ran off. I was beginning to come to the same conclusion. I sensed I was in the wrong place and feared it was beginning to show. I didn’t have the courage to leave the job, however, not with a wife and four children to support. I was also afraid of what my friends and family would think of me. They had celebrated me for landing the job, and I worried they would think ill of me if I couldn’t make it work.
As stressful as the job seemed at the time, my anxiety about it and life in general was far worse. You might be wondering why you should read a book about transcending stress written by someone who managed his own stress so poorly. My answer is: who better than one who has crossed the terrain? And the terrain of my fear and the stress it embodied extended beyond the workplace. In those days I was afraid most of the time, though I was not aware of it. I was afraid of what people thought of me and of lulls in our conversations. I was afraid of the bills on my desk, the checks I wrote, and the money I borrowed. I was afraid of failing, especially when I was apparently succeeding. I feared the small stabs of pain in my chest, the swollen lymph nodes that occasionally appeared in the necks of my children when they caught colds, and the odd click or clack in a machine I depended on. I was afraid of affection, intimate moments, and the unhappiness I saw in my wife’s eyes. I approached most situations feeling at risk, as if someone were going to see through me, incriminate me, and haul me off. A friend of mine jokes that sometimes when he goes to an ATM to retrieve cash, he half expects the machine to open wide for a cop to step out and cuff him for the crime of impersonating an honest man. That captures something of my anxiety. I was living a kind of self-imposed tyranny from which I was in flight. I was constantly on the run, rarely at ease, never free. It is what Rollo May called a nameless and formless uneasiness.
¹
The uneasiness exacerbated into full-blown anxiety when the university placed me on probation with ninety days to prove myself. As the deadline approached, my anxiety turned to dread and my self-confidence began to drop, undermining my ability to turn the corner.
Søren Kierkegaard, the great philosopher, wrote:
No Grand Inquisitor has in readiness such terrible tortures as has anxiety. No spy knows how to attack more artfully the man he suspects, choosing the instant when he is weakest, nor knows how to lay traps where he will be caught and ensnared, as anxiety knows how. No sharp-witted judge knows how to interrogate, to examine the accused, as anxiety does, which never lets him escape, neither by diversion nor by noise, neither at work nor at play, neither by day nor by night.²
On the appointed day, the axe fell. I was fired. Nine days later I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. As if this weren’t enough, the strain of dealing with all of it expanded the cracks in my marriage instead of bringing us closer together. As hard as my wife and I tried, we just could not bridge the gap that had grown between us. I do not think I have ever felt more alone or more lost. My mental state oscillated between abject terror and complete numbness. I was beginning to lose faith in life.
The good news was that the tumor was benign and slow growing. The bad news was its size and location. The tumor was large, compressing the fifth, seventh, and eighth cranial nerves, leading to an unhappy prognosis. I could lose half my hearing, suffer impaired balance, and sustain paralysis on the left side of my face. I was thirty-eight at the time, and the medical judgment came as quite a blow. How was I supposed to restart my career, staggering into interviews on a cane and pitching my prospects with a half-frozen face? It was evident to me that my life, as I had known it, was over and my family was doomed to live in poverty.
My connections at the medical school helped me find the best neurosurgeon, although he was not immediately available. Medically, it did not matter since the tumor was slow growing. The delay was a relief, the only relief I had felt in months. I was in no hurry for facial paralysis or a stumbling gait. Having to wait proved to be a blessing. As strange as it may sound, it gave me time to agonize my way to the bottom of my despair, which I reached a week before surgery. It was a cold, gray day. I was alone at home and went outside to the deck to smoke a cigarette and gaze at the view of the hills, hoping to calm my anxiety. But my anxiety only worsened as I reacted to the images of the calamitous future fear painted in my mind. Fear quickly eroded the fragile ledge of safety to which my sanity clung, dropping me into a hollow that spiraled down and down, into a dark cavern of the mind. The more I fell, the darker it got. The darker it got, the more frightened I became until I was lost in panic. It was a nightmare. I did not know what to do to arrest the psychological fall, other than to surrender to the experience. As I did, my terror worsened. It was unbearable, and at some point my conscious mind began to recede inwardly toward a vanishing point, where I seemed to disappear.
Then, like the phoenix rising out of the ash, my conscious mind came back to life. My mind felt emptied, as if cleansed, and curiously spacious, like the soft blue sky after a storm. Everything was quiet and miraculously expansive. Gradually the stillness became palpable and vibrant, like the first awakenings of spring. The stillness surrounded and permeated my being and, for the first time in a very long time, I felt at peace. I relaxed into it completely, the way we relax into the relief of pain. As I did I began to feel loved, by whom or what I cannot say. Perhaps it was just me loving myself for the first time. Perhaps it was only the simple relief and gratitude of having reached safety.
But I was not thinking about it at that moment. I was taken over by the experience of feeling loved, which gradually came to rest in my heart as compassion. I felt compassion for everyone who suffers, including me. The sincerity of my compassion seemed to heal an old sorrow, and I started to cry for the first time in God knows how long. These tears of sorrow released a feeling of gladness and wonder for the adventure and privilege of being alive. When I took my next breath, it felt like the breath of life. When