Having an E5 Marriage: An Expository Bible Study on the Ephesians 5 Marriage

By R. Joseph Ritter, Jr.

Deepening our relationship with Christ will have a direct impact on our interpersonal relationships. The question is how? How do we grow deeper in Christ? Paul in Ephesians 5 provides us with a model – Christ is our head, and we are to submit to Him. Then, Paul writes that this same model is to be used in our marriages. But, Paul also says, “This mystery is great.” Our guide for daily Christian living and relating to our spouses in marriage is outlined in Ephesians 5, but it’s all a “great mystery.” Well, that’s a lot of help! The meanings of submission and sacrifice in Ephesians 5 were apparently obvious to both Paul and the original recipients of his letter. The answers can also be found generally by reading the entire Bible. So, how do we decipher the “mystery?” We find in Revelation chapters 2 and 3, known as the letters to the seven churches, a grouping of verses in Scripture which concisely spell out what Christ expects of the church and how Christ sacrifices Himself for the church. This book, then, provides an in-depth study of Ephesians 5 through the lens of Revelation chapters 2 and 3, and applies it to the context of marriage.

R. Joseph Ritter, Jr. CFP(r) is the founder and president of Zacchaeus Financial Counseling, Inc., a non-profit organization serving the financial planning and financial counseling needs of lower and middle income households. Joe received his Master's Degree in World Mission and Evangelism from Asbury Theological Seminary. His non-profit leadership and Christian ministry includes such past positions as Pastor, Director of Outreach, volunteer Chaplain with Transport for Christ International, and co-founder of Community Chaplains Association, a non-profit organization ministering to residents of assisted-living and retirement facilities. He is the author of 25 Days of Christmas Devotional, Jacob's Testimony, a catechism, and You're Called to the Ministry. Now What?

• Language: English
• Publisher: R. Joseph Ritter, Jr.
• Release date: Apr 14, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310038501

R. Joseph Ritter, Jr.

R. Joseph Ritter, Jr. CFP® is the founder and president of Zacchaeus Financial Counseling, Inc., a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization serving the financial planning and financial counseling needs of lower and middle income households. Joe received his Master’s Degree in World Mission and Evangelism from Asbury Theological Seminary. His non-profit leadership and Christian ministry includes such past positions as Student Minister, Director of Outreach, volunteer Chaplain with Transport for Christ International, and co-founder of Community Chaplains Association, a non-profit organization ministering to residents of assisted-living and retirement facilities. He is the author of 25 Days of Christmas Devotional, Sacrifice and Submission in Marriage, Jacob's Testimony, and You're Called to the Ministry. Now What?

Book preview

Having an E5 Marriage

An Expository Bible Study

of the Ephesians 5 Marriage

R. Joseph Ritter, Jr.

Smashwords Edition

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This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Author of

25 Days of Christmas Devotional TM

and

Jacob’s Testimony:

A Catechism Teaching the Praises, Strength

and Wondrous Works of the Lord

and

You’re Called to the Ministry. Now What?

© 2012, 2016 R. Joseph Ritter, Jr.

Revised Edition

Originally published under "Sacrifice and Submission in Marriage:

Unlocking the Promises of Christ Through Obedience"

Cover Image: Helping Hand, Copyright Maga, 2012.

Used under license from Shutterstock.com

The cover image was selected to portray a man and woman actively living out their marriage in a difficult environment. The husband is the leader, doing the difficult work of finding the best way up the rock. He is laying down his life for her. In response, she is placing herself into her husband’s care and trusting him with her life. This is the same image we have of Christ’s leadership of the church, and the church’s response.

Scripture quotations taken from the

New American Standard Bible®,

Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,

1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation

Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter One: Why Write This Book?

Chapter Two: A Word About Revelation

Chapter Three: Compassionate Love in Action

Chapter Four: Loyal Faithfulness

Chapter Five: Wise Leadership and a Quiet Trust

Chapter Six: Nurturing Prudence

Chapter Seven: Dependable Virtue

Chapter Eight: A Foundation Dedicated to the Lord

Chapter Nine: Diligent Concern

Chapter Ten: Wrap Up

Chapter Eleven: Practical Considerations before Divorce

Closing Thoughts

Notes

Additional Resources

Introduction

Judges 21:25 In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

Hudson Taylor, founder of China Inland Mission, began a life of trusting God by faith in some very hard ways. On one occasion, he sensed God calling him to give away all the money he had, which at that moment was in his pocket, to help a poor family in greater need than himself.

The decision required Hudson to trust completely in God for his own well-being, something he was not yet ready to do. He wrestled with the decision for some time, before finally resigning himself to reach into his pocket, give away the money, and leave the rest to God.

This was the beginning of a life dedicated to missions in China funded and operated primarily by trusting in God by faith.

In the months before I began writing this book, the question Christ had for me was, Am I enough? It took me awhile to understand Who was asking this question and what the question meant. Properly understood, the question asked, Is the Lord enough for me in my marriage?

Any time I do not feel as though my deepest needs or desires are being met by my wife, is the Lord enough to sustain me? Is the Lord’s strength enough to get me through the day?

Of course, I knew this question had to be answered in the affirmative, because doing otherwise would be to deny Christ. Still, there are days when life does not go as planned, when my spouse does not act the way I would like, and needs I have go unmet as I close my eyes for sleep at the end of the day.

Is the Lord enough for me in those moments?

I don’t profess all there is to know about marriage, even though at this point I have been married for 17 years. I also don’t profess to know all there is about God or the Bible. And I certainly don’t profess to know anything special about the differences between men and women.

What I do believe very firmly is that we can achieve a profound love for God which fuels a profound love for others ... especially our spouses. I also believe that when we pursue and achieve this profound love for God it will profoundly impact our marriages ... for the better.

The pages of this book are not written for self-help. They are not even written to make your marriage better. The intent of this book is to deepen your relationship with Christ and encourage you along the trek toward having a profound love for Him. As we seek to please Christ, we will necessarily improve the way we treat our spouses. This will, in turn, be a testimony and a witness to them of Christ’s work in us. It will express the profound love we have for others, and we will have achieved the greatest purpose in life.

Our Godly marriages will also be a testimony to a hurting world of God’s love and transformation. You can be an example of what God wants to do in every life and in every marriage.

Ultimately, the purpose of becoming more like Christ is to gain the reward of heaven.

Chapter One

Why Write This Book?

Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

George Barna, noted Christian statistician, recently completed research aimed at understanding how people assess their own faith development. The results he published, while maybe not altogether surprising, are rather alarming and deserve our attention.

To interpret his research, Barna developed what he called Ten Transformational Stops. These are intervals or key transition points in the life of the follower of Christ. The first stop is Unaware of Sin, and the final stop is Profound Love of People. We grow through Christ from being unaware of sin to pouring ourselves out in love for people by working through each of the Ten Transformational Stops.

Barna found that 56% of the 6,000 people he studied reported being in one of the three stops dealing with sin – Unaware of Sin, Indifferent to Sin or Worried about Sin. In fact, 39% of respondents reported being stuck in the Worried about Sin stop – the most populous of the ten stops. That translates into a stunning statistic – one of every two people who profess to follow Christ are worried about or stuck in their sin.

Didn’t Christ die to set us free from sin? So why are so many people identifying themselves as stuck in the guilt, condemnation and practice of sin?

Only 11% of respondents had moved past the stop Involved in Faith Activities and were drilling down deep in their faith, moving along to a profound love for Christ and a profound love for other people.

Getting stuck in one of these transformational stops not only impacts our personal lives, it spills over into our relationships. Getting stuck in sin because of an addiction, for example, most certainly impacts our relationships.

Deepening our relationship with Christ will have a direct impact on our relationships. The question is how? How do we grow deeper in Christ?

Paul in Ephesians 5 provides us with a model – Christ is our head, and we are to submit to Him. Then, Paul writes that this same model is to be used in our marriages.

That’s all well and good, but what does it mean to submit? And how can we expect to sacrifice ourselves the way Christ did? Paul does not answer these questions. Instead, he says this mystery is great.

Our guide for daily Christian living and