Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Minion of Evil
    Minion of Evil
    Minion of Evil
    Ebook323 pages5 hours

    Minion of Evil

    By Shannon Ryan

    5/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Have you ever wondered if your boss is evil?

    David Graves is having a bad life. A bill collector is threatening him with grievous bodily harm. His girlfriend thinks he's an incompetent loser. His human resources manager, a creature of nightmare, is sexually harassing him. And when he finally meets a girl he likes, she seems more interested in rebuilding engines and committing random acts of violence.

    Still, David thinks he is doing all right--until he discovers his bosses are Satanists and his employment contract dooms him to an eternity of telemarketing and damnation...

    Minion of Evil is frightfully accurate portrayal of identity theft, computer hacking, wrench wenches, monomaniacal supervisors, and what really goes on behind closed doors in customer service.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBroken Typewriter Press
    Release dateApr 23, 2014
    ISBN9781940509044
    Minion of Evil
    Author

    Shannon Ryan

    Shannon Ryan lives in Marion, Iowa. He writes weird stories including two novels in the urban fantasy genre: Minion of Evil, about satanic telemarketers, and Fangs for Nothing, which follows a loser vampire “living” in his parents’ basement. His short fiction has been featured in Slate’s “Today’s Blogs” and on the Coast to Coast radio program. His hobbies include paranormal investigation and researching conspiracy theories. During the day, he writes payroll software.

    Read more from Shannon Ryan

    Related to Minion of Evil

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      The Art Of Conversation

      Nov 1, 2023

      The Art Of Conversation
      4 min read

    • Article

      Parakeet

      May 29, 2020

      Parakeet
      11 min read

    • Article

      O Fortuna, Velut Luna

      Sep 15, 2018

      What is Miss Treece’s trouble, according to a popular notion? The man A has failed to show up. Arousing herself at the restaurant, she fixes her lipstick when her solo supper concludes and takes herself down the stairs situated behind the bar. There,

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Missing Limousine

      Sep 28, 2021

      The Missing Limousine
      21 min read

    • Article

      The Book of Loki

      Mar 12, 2018

      The Book of Loki
      20 min read

    • Article

      Bucksaw

      Jun 3, 2019

      From the back seat of the car, Benjamin read the gold-lettered sign at the edge of the rolling green lawn and said, “Why do they call it a correctional facility?” He’d meant only to think the question, rather than speak it, but lately, more and more,

      23 min read

    • Article

      A Few Words to the Graduates

      Jun 11, 2018

      A Few Words to the Graduates
      7 min read

    • Article

      Prey

      May 10, 2021

      As I drove slowly towards the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that

      41 min read

    • Article

      Claim

      Aug 10, 2021

      In the tiny room that’s used as a staff canteen in Halden Insurance, you take two Ryvita out for your lunch, snap one in half, then put the bigger half back in your lunchbox. Maura licks the egg mayonnaise that’s spilling out of her sandwich as she w

      11 min read

    • Article

      Funny You Should Ask

      Dec 21, 2021

      I am about 60 percent through my novel, and I find myself struggling a little. I know how to map out the last 20 percent or so, but I seem to be at a loss at how to connect where I am to where I am going. Looking for a 20 percent bridge—any tips? Sig

      3 min read

    • Article

      Prey

      Mar 10, 2024

      As I drove slowly toward the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that h

      41 min read

    • Article

      The Turn

      Aug 14, 2019

      HERE’S a story. In college I entered the spring semester of my freshman year on academic probation. There wasn’t one reason this happened. There were many. I had signed up for a computer science class called Digital Security with no programming knowl

      5 min read

    • Article

      A dangerous OBSESSION

      Sep 30, 2020

      “I wonder what the Queen dreams about? Apparently we all dream about the Queen from time to time, so does she dream about us in return? Perhaps on a rota system? Or does she have nightmares in which she is about to open Parliament but suddenly reali

      3 min read

    • Article

      Removing The Mask

      Apr 25, 2021

      Removing The Mask
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Silent TREATMENT

      Aug 11, 2021

      The Silent TREATMENT
      6 min read

    • Article

      The Only Punishment

      Feb 10, 2022

      The floor of the room was white, but three of the walls and the ceiling were light blue. His own bland pajamas were light green. It was probably supposed to be calming, but it only angered Rats. He knew what this was—a fregging brainwashing facility,

      16 min read

    • Article

      Not That Story

      Oct 28, 2017

      Not That Story
      7 min read

    • Article

      Push

      Aug 4, 2022

      Push
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Elephant And The Goldfish

      Aug 5, 2021

      The Elephant And The Goldfish
      8 min read

    • Article

      A Little About Why

      Jun 1, 2023

      A Little About Why
      15 min read

    • Article

      My cinema SMASH HIT

      Mar 27, 2024

      Writing for Woman’s Weekly is a real treat, but I can’t help wondering whether I might have been better turning out scripts for films or television. People who work in films and television are taken seriously. Newsnight would probably invite me into

      3 min read

    • Article

      New DATING

      Mar 2, 2022

      New DATING
      3 min read

    • Article

      Why I’ve Stopped Waiting for ‘The Winds of Winter’

      May 11, 2018

      1. It was my ex who first suggested I read George R.R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones. “I think you’ll like it,” he said, pulling his copy from the wooden bookcase in the corner of his bedroom. The shelves sagged under the weight of the epic fantasies th

      5 min read

    • Article

      Cold Calling

      Jan 18, 2021

      Two or three phone calls per week. Every week for six months. All more or less the same. “Hello Mrs Redmond, this is Martin/Tim/Alice/Marmaduke [I’m serious], I’m calling from your internet provider to let you know that your broadband server has been

      6 min read

    • Article

      Reach

      Apr 10, 2021

      Jack Benson stands dissolved in an ocean of strangers, humans he couldn’t have known existed until forced to jostle with them for space and share odors. He recoils imperceptibly with each touch, eager not to offend or stand out any further. As a mass

      10 min read

    • Article

      Daughter’s DILEMMA

      Dec 29, 2021

      Daughter’s DILEMMA
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Time I Wrote a Sitcom For Disney

      Feb 24, 2017

      When I recently heard that Raven Symoné would be reprising her role on a spinoff of the sitcom That’s So Raven, I thought it was some kind of mistake. After I went online to verify and found that it was true, I had little choice but to make myself a

      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Minion of Evil

    5/5

    5 ratings3 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      I received this book as an ebook through the LibraryThing Giveaway program. The genre of this novel is humorous dark fantasy, which I have never read before, and I wasn't sure that I was going to like it. The witty and intelligent writing style of the author, however, drew me into the story of a telemarketer who is tricked into selling his soul to the devil by his employers. The characters were intriguing and the plot was well-developed. I really loved the setting of the telemarketing company and the interplay between the employers and employees. It was very funny. I can't wait to read more from this author.
    • 5/5
      I rarely find time to read books. When I do, I am often disappointed. This book was a pleasant little surprise. By the first paragraph of this book, I could sense that I wasn't going to want to put this book down. The same way that a comedian uses colorful language to draw you in, each sentence of this book is beautifully crafted. The style of the author is refreshing--witty, but not "too smart" or intimidating with five syllable words everywhere just to make the author feel superior. The book is easy to get into and the characters are great. The main character, Dave, is a telemarketer who generally lacks ambition. Even though Dave is kind of a loser, I had a crush on him. Flawed as he was, I could really relate to him and I thought he was a good guy. The story is that Dave hated his job, then his girlfriend dumped him, and then he met a new girl, and then he figured out that his boss was part of a satanic cult, yada yada yada. That doesn't sound too interesting to me--BUT IT WAS. The characters are compelling. The dialogue has a great rhythm with each of the characters having unique speech patterns. The character named Raven is incredibly sexy. On top of everything else, though the sex scenes aren't very detailed, they are very good. The first three quarters of this book are genius. The last quarter of the book is full of action and fighting scenes. The last bit of the book loses what I admired so much about the first part of the book--the snide and humorous perspective of telemarketing and worker vs. boss relationships. The last quarter of the book drops down from "amazing" to "above average." All together, I'd rate this book a 5 out of 5. So many books disappoint me. This book tickled me pink. I was so moved by the characters that I began wondering what kind of author would write this book. The worst thing about the author of this book, Shannon Ryan, is that he has no other published pieces yet. Alas, I'll just have to wait. I WILL be waiting.
    • 5/5
      Book Info: Genre: Humorous Dark Fantasy Reading Level: Adult Disclosure: I received a free ebook copy of this book through the LibraryThing Members Giveaway program in exchange for an honest review.Synopsis: Have you ever wondered if your boss is evil?David Graves is having a bad life. A bill collector is threatening him with grievous bodily harm. His girlfriend thinks he's an incompetent loser. His human resources manager, a creature of nightmare, is sexually harassing him. And when he finally meets a girl he likes, she seems more interested in rebuilding engines and committing random acts of violence.Still, David thinks he is doing all right – until he discovers his bosses are Satanists and his employment contract dooms him to an eternity of telemarketing and damnation...Minion of Evil is frightfully accurate portrayal of identity theft, computer hacking, wrench wenches, monomaniacal supervisors, and what really goes on behind closed doors in customer service.Shannon Ryan’s website, weirdauthor.comMy Thoughts: I loved Matt Rose. There, I said it: I loved Matt Rose! He is my favorite type of villain: gleefully, unrepentantly Evil (yes, with a capital E), and with a terrific sense of humor about the whole thing. I mean, obviously I wouldn’t go all Amanda on him – that’s just gross – but to read about in a book? This is the type of villain I most enjoy.Watching Dave grow from wishy-washy telemarketing temp into someone trying, somewhat ineptly, to battle the forces of evil was a lot of fun. Not to mention that Ryan got the telemarketing culture spot-on – in fact, he struck a bit close to the bone in some places, as anyone who has spent any amount of time working in telemarketing will see when they read this book. I spent a lot of time laughing, of course – especially at the description of the movie Flying Death, with Aplomb and the other things that Ryan takes to ridiculously hilarious lengths in this book – but there were a few pretty horrific scenes towards the end, so I think overall I would put this into the dark fantasy with humor genre; it’s not quite horror.Shannon Ryan has done a remarkable job on this book, and I really hope to see many more books in the future coming from his moniker. Kudos, Mr. Ryan – keep writing! You’ve just gained a new fan.

    Book preview

    Minion of Evil - Shannon Ryan

    vcbook_preview_excerpt.html}KFUP2[(YvSH/,Rɡ0w@|\QdЋ r1sd{fܓ*pLMMSUO'<'0_P|Qv}u_g~s?+@ç_MU|=a*:.z.⹨n (,.1V)t*~⊏e Exmڧ](q|9a ks rn^Cq#ʟ7J|mOv(ABk*FSEuh˦(;p-ۢ e;=ɗ2ecu9c~X^QUC7r,Oc916~*g *  >𧉿^/g^ i˜Ls!h5xĠP[a /lV`#qn'TbO@tyPkfbBM.%Tg`{J[<'%8kq:H3?^E9PB ӊ80tTJ]/ӥy\YU\flkg)=pKW*4%Yi硘Nc36e'} 8 g* L/CCh#T@7%]+}--E*c>-vK?Ӂ<#Qyi[Q/8?x>=ž'cpmX% z2^T56g OqK?7-Y.%^K,q~df)SRO~+8xͷS5u 'ǧs̡J>/nFx7vSeWt#C( w8%-.mĸv &hŒ#Q!8`x ?ǛUh#v*y b9\?(){m6LԨVf/whm03&A𦶕~Kq]Ml!BsjM5 x=åa^RƾQ)}Są͞x }>+iZgK/gwe 3Q8ViSvx % U%C 27'= l)Kr '6Sfc¡{)5>(GW`W6c_ )L/&)B+OE9hˢŀ 8#6uܟ maYgM  8f U9r ގM1nEg'ڦAW*FO۴wZKe{G&8D!r)GWmAiF2dWTAt L Uj&سgfOOc,lh];TIױ wv&n[xl+:H!gc1vZWp)爡ndhOIړgԦ8'k Oc9tbB:HB2 d fQXʅؐA x墷܂,"[:+oGy9:P\k'3?՚o wZ´CH'HB׽ޭa7TUX p'oB:KA!"V5x̊Ti'WxS/{9}'^ x ufp`3|sU;]Dl}ZڸL*{iڶ _r,E30-.hbp8)KĪf vdo} ~D%_7|{:mBHdz׃~Z7g0Rڰ!6D}Ψ\p8`FJ֜y4B jq$ oJAN%vTO06_|!Y l^qT5p>8@_a=@[Om>M9G< 0;Tap1x9{Mv!oļ2P7 Vpw-8#v3dgKr.!SN flװݥoh -4_2hd?cKf>`ާ="$`5؍_ Lk:e PC?!0,m+tUt"5݈wB u7ˮB2} YQ]Bۉ$msʩ.RӶ8AV$\*xA[읂{( x'b'BfsВI#"%PLx |f)9CJ,(yHIW#=qQ|[p14ϦψVZ,-Og$}E4cޱ$';c@ql KYwÍ{w/ڐw8[ts6H*1(^aC,起 }]Um} \x)Q/#%L ! *YzQxI, ,ؖ &H7Spx0 kJe u9ػ*d'Yl7ܗl7}[X@WBj i3Ss6ѹ;ts|ulLG] t4LI]9r4mS~h=p:Ѭ_K_=si$G0I8&nf6׉֫wP3hiZ\⛑U <٦?m维ݥ-5a|.סwl8y0?}P{8:/o.i?UXUyQkt)!+g7,Ɠ+640TXC<)e[xֳюуױP|97ZZfv#%RK!EbkacYF#X`|L PHdqhgϢ3? sna6Cl벰HqSgFEL_YsQvẁ`:&2mlMM@6IgˉA<#j~]"c#&N#)i1ۏ{V-&}e3[&GD'NY*%rUwU0/ $)Ѵ,c폠Q c#26#cDA |'I:%eJMLȌp(b*M,OOM@ĸL))1NV:`xsU'U*zɯ>1JdY+`8Jbjbk,R ;t(naOXqG:88'Jkby|{K9p˖d 1I-DΚNCA-feGC) zO0#ǵH[ S[ũ.E׷zT3)ڵ &i̝n٧ $K3''tjBh wNLQ)珺{T6/;N2;lJU?RKn1(||vC;=oܔ1Og:Vs@%z*'!K{;*Oh;-ֽ:-xx7ǒY t.zD{&ɺ$]!dߒ .՞ZYɥăӇʝ#5ϙʶZv*e7&#pU9h\wĿ)wrY? o^m 4drTp9I/lKneU3LS(Sfǘ΋:[Fl[<,obGFy'rEFU4Ppg<+6u79;*[hEj=\<6%:. kiH-,TrI!=϶ W03qWZT k#4s EFYNܙGQҬ x{[ya6gѣO)8̪H(ݧUv^:BN~WG^)/ 9(}G;)-ZNDnE]*3~xXQinXqxC|8+|,cs^Y#Y6 9zקY9 {VQ8jx,ʫ56HrV˾I{dxIQK7?"aOLis75SDҴFEUWdTil6Hؖ4Gydgl%Hy˫1͓*%"5۽1]7Ue&ιiE{xN fs^LM6X꼾j2!5̢l5.)3^i=.@5M%ˏy-v[< =afө웍e^۰-?Y0r61$g,S{gV<9\%T<+4(\'.O]slgXߜYK!D(?6ռ;yY{ȩm~YBFlcJ'ڮM֕ԗ/p\2m\ؠoq;|=bK_#nW+NYf2$0l-{4k9G~q#0禈fl!ژ!vbw瘻Z) #b*tQn٬x&3,sc:zRx2nzdC,Foޅq*qCrWmHoGnYKr;7;r>LRq|S6 vZsxS aJ7P=oSΙ@Cj93YY5Yg"zjKXg*^l)_ a!e %<vFnBy;ɕ/hQ| 0vk,qH>75YŮ#d#LBhS;Ֆ)4PlX?iS-SNvEͲ'?ӬC:t\Vg-J,,{HV1|6ᛲj 02 +kn/W۲HH:{l%mxOZUUdKT Z̶chTTV_U\n~%IN E$7,,ڷ`/x*w3=FS״~+ 7{[xXgho@ĮmM k&Z褃 9E&oRru`LIJBa2HL ܁8uӚFJEcXT* ɨ.b6 9gܛ-cwҹk|X|mLV66۔]sU^]"9_2+H $v'k6p_偋BM nf[59l.xYG*M
    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1