Melted & Shattered

By Emily Eck

Elle was never broken.
She wasn't shattered.
And she sure as hell never needed to be saved.
That is,
until she found out what the aftermath of love was capable of causing.

Doing her best to stay afloat amidst the sh!t storm that has become her life, Elle is hanging on by a thread. Between worrying about Fernie’s precarious future, an incident with a Shemar Moore look-alike gone terribly wrong, and an inability to let go of her feelings for J, Elle just can’t seem to get her head straight.

Deciding a change of atmosphere is what she needs, Elle heads to Mexico to study abroad for a semester.

She has no idea that she is walking into an even worse storm.

One that involves a pissed off MC President, a ruthless drug cartel, and a man willing to die to have her light.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Emily Eck
• Release date: Apr 21, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310487446

Emily Eck

Emily is a Midwestern Gal, but could be anywhere as you read this. She gypsy's the country, as well as south of the border. Adventure feeds her soul and offers great writing material. She loves kids and working with kids, but can only handle caring for four-legged furry friends. A crazy dog named Darla has trained Emily to be her partner in life. Emily's vices include Swedish Fish, ignoring chores in favor of reading, and caring too much for people in her life. When she is not writing or gallivanting around North America, Emily works in some youth serving capacity. She chose to write this bio in third person as she is an Aries and found writing in first person ended up with her writing an excessively long life story. Aries like to talk about themselves. It is something Emily is working on being more mindful of.

Book preview

Melted & Shattered

Published by Emily Eck at Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Emily Eck

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

L&J Reading Order

Steel & Ice (L&J 1)

J Speaks (L&J 1.5)

Melted & Shattered (L&J 2)

J Roars (L&J 2.5)

Us (L&J 3)

Table of Contents

Note to reader

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Connect with Emily

Acknowledgements

This is the second book in the L&J Trilogy. If you have not read the 1.5, J Speaks, I encourage you to do so as it gives you information you need to understand Melted & Shattered.

Thank you. -E

Note #2 – Ursher is deliberate, not a typo. For more information, consult Ludacris.

To CNP, for opening my eyes.

This story is yours as much as it is mine.

Chapter 1

Ah, the darkness. It was so sweet. Really, I didn’t want to leave. Nothing hurt in the darkness. It was sublime, so of course, it was never meant to last. Nothing good lasts. We all hurt each other at some point. The darkness gave me peace and then ripped it away. Fucker.

You know on TV shows how they tell people to talk to someone in a coma? I saw it before on TV, but thought it was bullshit. Turns out it’s not. I think. Fuck, I don’t know. I might’ve been in a coma. I might not. I didn’t know what was going on. I just knew one minute the darkness was silent and the next minute it wasn’t.

First, I heard murmurs. I could make out different voices, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I don’t know how long that lasted. Wherever I was, there wasn’t a clock, and it was really fucking annoying.

Like a single clap of hands, the murmurs changed to clear words. There were so many, I struggled to distinguish one from another, so I focused on the one most familiar—Chris. She was yelling, but it wasn’t how I heard her yell at the guy who grabbed her ass at Eight Oh Eight once, or how she yelled at cars in traffic. It was laced with pain and sadness.

Why are you here? Get the fuck out of this room. Get. The Fuck. Out. GET OUT!!

I felt Chris take my hand. I tried to squeeze, but my fingers wouldn’t move. She was shaking, and I wanted to cry for her since I'd never heard her like this. It was like she was falling apart. Her voice broke. Just get out. Elle wouldn’t want you here.

Another voice responded. It was the poor soul on the receiving end of Chris’ wrath.

You don’t know what Elle would want. Let me help.

My heart started to race. I knew that voice. I loved that voice. Why were they yelling at each other? My head hurt as I tried to piece together what was going on, but it exhausted me, and then something started beeping. If I could have moved, I would have covered my ears. Each beep was a nail going into my head.

I could sense motion in the room. Someone was asked to leave. Fuck. Why couldn’t I move? I tried to squeeze Chris’ hand still holding mine. I think I heard her acknowledge the movement, but I slipped back into darkness. It was quiet in darkness.

******

The next time I heard voices, they were clear. No murmurs. Larry. I would know his voice anywhere.

What are we gonna do? I could feel his hand in mine as he whispered this.

"We’re gonna find the pendejo who did this and fuck him up. That’s what we’re gonna do." José. His voice was laced with anger, and the desire for revenge, something I'd never heard from him before.

I tried to squeeze Larry’s hand, but my fingers still wouldn’t move.

"A pendejo is a mother fucker, right?"

Yeah, Larry. You ‘bout to do this with me or what?

I could feel Larry lean towards me. God, it was frustrating as hell being able to listen and do nothing. I didn’t protect you. Larry’s breath hitched. Fuck. How could I let this happen to you? I’ll make it right. I promise you that, Elle. I won’t let you down again. I could feel him hovering next to my ear as he whispered this. Fuckin’ Larry. I loved him like a brother, but nothing more. Never anything more, though it pained me as I knew he loved me differently. Why couldn’t I love him? It seemed like it would be so easy. But love isn’t easy. Love isn’t fair. Love chooses you, not the other way around. Then love gets you shot. I could feel the ice building around my heart already.

Come on man, let’s go. You ready to hit the brown side of town?

I heard Larry sigh. Fuck. If your boys can do it, then let’s get this done. You know I’m in all the way.

I didn’t know what they were going to do, but I knew it would be futile. Even with José’s boys, they were no match for J or MM. The beeping started again, which meant a flurry of activity and then darkness. Sweet darkness.

******

I opened my eyes. They were heavy, and the room was blurry. I saw a figure curled up in a chair next to my bed, but couldn't tell who. Someone was mumbling something in the background that I couldn’t make out. I tried to move and my body screamed, shooting pain exploding across my torso. Fuck. I think it might've been the worst pain I’d ever felt.

I blinked my eyes a few times trying to clear my vision. It was night—I think. The room was dim, for which I was grateful. I opened my mouth to speak and it was raspy, like I’d smoked a thousand cigarettes in one night. My throat was raw. I tried clearing it, and a gurgling noise erupted out of my mouth. The figure on the chair unraveled and rushed towards me, causing me to flinch, and closed my eyes tight. I braced myself for whatever was moving my way, convinced whatever is was planned to attack me.

Elle, can you hear me? Chris pled. Oh God, Elle. I heard her start to sob and if I had any energy I would have wrapped my arms around her, consoled her. As it was, I was struggling to keep from slipping back into the darkness.

I wanted to open my eyes. I did, I swear I did, but I knew the moment I opened them, I would be unable to avoid reality. No more darkness. I heard Aaron’s voice in the back of my head. Buck the fuck up, chica.

Chris, my voice scratched out. I opened my eyes and stared into her blue ones, rimmed in bright red.

She grabbed my hand and collapsed beside my bed. Oh my God. I didn’t know if you’d open your eyes. Fuck. She inhaled and exhaled shaky breaths, trying to pull herself together. I’d never seen Chris lose it like this. They said you would wake up eventually, but minutes were starting to turn into days.

She stood from the ground and sat on the edge of the bed, still clutching my arm. Do you remember? I nodded. I remembered everything.

I cleared my throat again. I— My voice was struggling to come out. I had to tell her something, I had to let her know. I motioned with my head for her to lean down and I tried to pull her to me with the hand she held in a vice grip. Once she was close enough, I whispered, I love you, bitch.

Chris laid her head in the crook of my neck. I felt tears roll down my shoulder as her body silently shook. Through her tears she laughed, wiped her snotty nose on my hospital gown, and whispered back, I love you too.

I smiled and fell back to sleep. That heart-felt exchange was all I had in me. The murmuring coming from somewhere in the room continued as Chris crawled onto the right side of the bed, quickly falling asleep next to me.

Chapter 2

When I woke up again, the room was in a state of chaos. It made me thankful Chris and I had our moment alone, because we were far from alone now. I cleared my throat. That one little noise was all it took for everyone stop speaking and look straight at me. I felt like a sideshow freak.

Chris rushed to my right side and took my hand. How are you feeling?

I didn’t answer her question, instead taking a moment to survey the room. A nurse. Jesse. Aaron. Genesis. Marcos. And some lady in the corner praying. What the fuck?

I pulled Chris down to me and whispered to her to clear the room. I closed my eyes while she ushered everyone out. She told them nicely—well, as nice as Chris can be, that I wasn’t up for visitors just yet and that the nurse needed to check me out now that I was awake. I didn’t know if that was true, but I really didn't care, I couldn't handle all those people. I kept my eyes closed while I heard the shuffling of people exiting.

Me too? Aaron’s voice.

Yeah, just for a minute. Give her a second to get her bearings. Get rid of everyone else, but hang close. I’ll grab you when I get this handled. God bless Chris and her take no prisoners attitude.

You too, I heard her say in a harsh voice.

No.

Aw, hell.

I don’t even know why you’re here. Or why you think you get to be here. Chris’ voice got low, which was equivalent to most people raising their voice. When her voice got low and quiet, watch out, because it was about to be on. I had to stop that before it got to that point.

I was stiff as hell, and my throat still hurt like a bitch, but I cleared it and motioned to Chris to come over so I could whisper in her ear. She leaned down to me. I didn’t have the energy to give what I had to say the venom it deserved. I was counting on Chris to handle it for me.

When I was finished, Chris walked over to the foot of my bed where J was standing. He turned to look her in the eye. It seemed like this was not the first argument they’d had. I assumed a lot happened while I was unconscious, and apparently I was right based on the anger radiating between Chris and J. She stood in front of him, and stared him dead in the eye when she said, Quote, I didn’t know you could love and hate someone, but apparently Wale did cuz he wrote a song about it. This is the hate part. Get out.

Yep, she nailed it. J looked at me, pain in his eyes. I wanted to feel bad, sad, mad, pissed the fuck off—but I just felt empty. I didn’t hate him—per se. He pled with his eyes for me to show him something, anything to let him know we weren’t over.

Like I said, I was empty.

Or at least I thought I was empty.

J ran his hand over his face, catching a few tears before they could fall. As he turned and left the room, I realized I wasn’t empty. In fact, I was overflowing. My eye balls were like volcanoes and my tears, lava. They erupted out the sides and fell, making paths down the side of my face. Once they started, it seemed there was no stopping them. Chris crawled into bed beside me, holding me through the sobs that shook my body, each spasm sending my left side into a whirl of pain. Between the pain, the tears, and the mumbling person who never seemed to leave the room, I eventually passed out from exhaustion. Even if the darkness was temporary, I welcomed it.

Chapter 3

When you’re in pain and lying in a hospital bed, time sort of means nothing. When the doctor came in to tell me my condition, it could have been there two hours or two weeks that I'd been there. I only half listened, I knew I’d been shot, the bullet going through my left side. The bullet had punctured my stomach and grazed my spleen. The spleen would heal on its own, but they had to stitch my stomach up. They dug the bullet out, and I was lucky it didn’t hit any of my ribs. If they had shattered, that could have done worse damage to my internal organs than the bullet. They were keeping me in the hospital until my stomach was healed enough to handle solid foods. The internal stitches would dissolve, whereas the ones on my left side, where they had cut me open to operate, would be removed manually.

A tube had been down my throat. That was why it felt so scratchy, but I was assured that would go away in no time. It was already starting to feel better, and could talk quietly for short periods of time.

Chris rarely left. She only did when Aaron came and forced her to go home and shower, claiming she stank like a musty armpit. I held my side when he said that because laughing hurt like hell. I made Aaron promise not to be his usual funny self. He tried, but it was hard for him because that was his gig. He was the cosmic joker. Without his jokes, he was somber, and it was kinda depressing me.

Aaron, I love you. And I’m grateful you love me enough to be here—and send Chris home cuz she was starting to stink. But, you gotta ease up on the heavy.

Damnit, Elle. I can’t joke, so all I can do is tell you how I feel, and I feel insane. You almost died! He was bringing out the excessive hand gesturing, waving them in the air. He swiped his flattened hand through the air as he exclaimed, I thought I lost you. Do you know what it feels like to think your best friend has died and you are going to be alone without her? He beat his fist against his palm with each word as he said, Do you have any idea?

Nooooo, but I know how it feels to almost die. I laughed at my own sarcasm. God, my side hurt. Fucking stitches. Fucking bullet. Fucking Fernie. And fucking J.

No jokes. You can’t make them if I can’t. I put my hands up, surrendering.

Come here. I patted the bed for him to come sit with me. I love you so much. I only have a few words left before my voice goes out again, but I wanted you to know that. His eyes filled with tears. Come on. I pulled him down to lay with me, on the right side of the bed. The side that Chris had been occupying. I’m about to hit this morphine button. The magic button. Stay with me until I fall asleep?

He nodded, and nestled up next to me. Think I can get some of that morphine?

Sure, go ahead, I mumbled before drifting off.

******

Once word got out that I was alive and awake, people started coming to visit. All the people I initially made Chris send away came in droves. I thought they might hate me for sending them away, but hey, I was shot. Come on, that gives you permission to be a bit demanding, right? Now that I was feeling better, I was ready to field the questions I knew would start. I asked Chris to get Genesis first.

She came into my room with Angelica. They looked scared shitless.

Hey. Come here. I waved them over to me. What’s wrong? Everything is gonna be OK.

They came over to the side of my bed and burst into tears. We thought you were gonna die, Genesis said between sobs and hiccups. Angelica couldn’t muster words through her tears, so she just nodded.

But I’m not dead. I’m fine. Just another war wound. Nothing to even worry about. They didn't seem quite as convinced as I hoped, which wasn't surprising since I wasn't OK. I was shot for God's sakes. Angelica, can you give me and Genesis a moment alone?

As much as I hated to do it, I needed to talk about what happened with Genesis. Chris said that the cops came around after the shooting, but that J handled them. No reports were filed as far as I knew.

Pull a chair over and sit down. When Genesis was sitting next to me, I leaned in and whispered, First of all, who the hell is in the corner?

Genesis was still nursing her tears, but that got her to crack a smile. That’s Fernie’s mom. She’s praying for you. She’s been here since she found out what happened. No one's made her leave.

Why is she praying so much? Wouldn’t one Hail Mary or something be enough?

She gave me a wide grin. Elle, this is how we Mexicans do it. She’s not leaving until you do. You saved her son and she’ll never forget that. She’s praying for you to heal. That's what mothers do.

But I am healed. Or I will be. Why does she keep praying?

Elle, you don’t get it. You saved her son. I guess I didn’t get it. I mean, I got it, but her constant prayer seemed a little excessive. Whatever. That wasn't what I really needed to talk to Genesis about.

Listen, girl. We gotta talk about that night. Who knows what happened?

I haven’t told anyone.

No one?

No, she said wide eyed. Fernie told me not to talk when the cops took him away. I got a ride home and my parents don’t even know I was with him that night. No one knows everything except us that were there.

Wait. I thought the cops didn’t take a report. How did they get Fernie?

Well, your boyfriend got them to ignore the shooting, but they got Fernie and his friend for all the drugs they had at the house.

Fuck. My throat was to starting hurt. Can you get me some water? I wanted to chug the water she came back with, but the doctor said to sip slowly, that I didn’t want to put too much, too fast into my stomach.

Well, where's Fernie now? If he’s locked up, I can get bail posted for him. If Fernie’s ass was locked up, Chris would be paying J a visit. The least that mother fucker could do for me was bail out Fernie.

Genesis burst into tears again. He can’t be bailed. They’re sending him back.

What? Back where?

Mexico. She saw my confused look and leaned in to me. Elle, she whispered, We’re not legal here.

How did you get here? To the States I mean?

I don’t remember. My parents crossed when I was young. Fernie came when he was ten. She paused, her voice changed, and she became defensive. We didn’t have a choice. Our parents brought us.

I’m sorry, girl. I had no idea. You know I don’t care. I didn’t understand what she was saying as I was still feeling the morphine, but there were other things I felt needed to be said instead of digging into Genesis’ citizenship. Well, I guess I don’t have to tell you that we need to keep all this on the down low. I know people are going to suspect things, and probably gossip, but you have to keep quiet. I don’t want to involve the cops in my life. I don’t mind them, but I feel better when they aren’t around.

Ain’t that the truth, Chris said, strolling in the door. Hey girl. You doing OK? she asked Genesis.

The two hugged, which seemed odd since they didn't know each other prior to that night at the drug house. I guess traumatic events had a way of making people bond, and bond quickly.

Yeah, thanks for letting me come here. I’m gonna go. She let go of Chris and leaned in to hug me. It was more a patting of the shoulder, as a hug was not an option for my stitched up stomach. I’ll talk to you later, Elle?

Yeah. I’ll be back at the Center when I get out. Just—don’t tell Penny. OK? I like coming there and I don’t want Penny to make me leave.

OK. I haven’t said anything to her. She’s asked, but I said I didn’t know anything. I thanked her as she left. What a fucked up situation, all of it. From the drugs, to the shooting, to Fernie being arrested, and all the way to finding out my kids were afraid of getting caught without papers.

Fuck, Chris.

I know, girl. I know.

I’m gonna sleep. Who else is trynna come up here?

Some guys from your work.

Has J come back? I asked with a little too much hope in my voice.

No. Chris said this like I was insane for asking. Maybe I was, I mean, I hated him. Who shoots their girlfriend, the woman they love? If he loved me, wouldn’t he have come around to check on me? Fuck, I shouldn’t care. He was a bastard, and I needed to erase him from my life. Right? Fuck, that seemed easier said than done.

I wanted to talk about this with Chris, all of the jumbled thoughts in my head and emotions in m heart, but she had made it clear what her stance on J was. I’m sure she planned his murder in her head a variety of times. Though Chris was with me in body, I was alone in my head. I pushed it all to the side and pretended everything was OK. Fake it ‘til you make it, Marlo once told me in one of his Life Lessons from Gary, Indiana. I was going to give it a shot.

"Well, let me catch a cat nap and we’ll go round two. Thanks for playing gate keeper. I can’t handle ‘em all