Just Call Me Madam

By Jenny Wren

My name is Jenny Wren and this is my life story from a naïve child bride of stolen youth to a madam in the alluring sex industry. You will experience the highs and the lows of an adventure filled life. A roller coaster of a ride. Endure the happiness, sorrow, excitement, misfortunes and mistakes of my journey in a not so “normal” life. I have experienced the whole spectrum of human emotions from kindness and devotion to jealously and greed of predators. From the very humble beginnings of married life living in shacks on remote beaches fishing to million dollar fishing fleets. A victim of domestic violence yet proud Mother of the three children. Most importantly you will see the inner workings of a brothel and what goes on behind closed doors and the type of people it attracts and how they behave. Are you curious? Take a look inside “Jenny’s Retreat”! Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

• Language: English
• Publisher: ReadOnTime BV
• Release date: Sep 5, 2013
• ISBN: 9781742843865

Book preview

Just Call Me Madam

Jenny Wren

Just Call Me Madam

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2013 Jenny Wren

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

The information, views, opinions and visuals expressed in this publication are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect those of the publisher. The publisher disclaims any liabilities or responsibilities whatsoever for any damages, libel or liabilities arising directly or indirectly from the contents of this publication.

A copy of this publication can be found in the National Library of Australia.

ISBN:  978-1-742843-86-5 (pbk.)

Published by Book Pal

www.bookpal.com.au

About the Author

My name is Jenny Wren.

I was born in 1949 at Big Bell a small mining town in central Western Australia which is now a ghost town. I was the second oldest of four children.

Our early family life was both poor in money but rich in family.

I was married at sixteen and a mother at seventeen.

I have three children, five grand children and one great grandchild and am now married for a second time.

My life experiences have led me on many paths, notably into the sex industry.

This book contains nearly all of my ups and downs in a packed life to date.

I am now traveling around Australia with my husband enjoying the many things this great country has to offer, which is a far cry from days gone by.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Contents

A Day in the Life

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Scams, Shams and Shady Deals

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Bankers

Business and Wrong Associates

What′s a Lady Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

Call Me Madam

Toy Boys, Cross Dressers and Happy Hookers

The Female of the Species

Sweet and Sour

Foreword

By Grant, Jenny’s husband

I thought I had been around a bit and seen a lot of things during my life.

I have knocked around in all sorts of circles, some of them not so petite, but Jenny has crammed far more into a lifetime than I thought was possible, in particular far more heartache for any one person to endure.

Yet she is still a happy soul.

While co writing this book I was both happy and sad for her. I was even very angry at times with some of things she has been put through, but on the other side of the coin laughed out loud at some of her adventures.

Jenny has been through a hell of a lot. She is not the sharpest tool in the shed, after all she is blond, but she is very endearing to all she meets.

Chapter 1

A Day in the Life

The phone starts ringing before I have even got the door unlocked. "Good morning, Jenny’s Retreat

‘Yeah, gidday. Yeah, I’m just calling about your ad in the paper, what sort of girls do you have?’

What are you looking for? We have girls aged from 18 onwards with a variety of sizes and nationalities, why don’t you come in and have a look you will be pleasantly surprised. In a polite and seductive voice.

‘Yeah, well, yeah I’ll do that love’.

See you soon mate . I hang up and take the next call.

Good Morning Jenny’s Retreat .

‘Are you open? ‘It is 6 am. I began opening early to cater for men on their way to work.

In half an hour, sir

‘Can I make a booking for a Golden Shower?’

Of course I agree wondering what a golden shower is. What time

‘I’ll be there as soon as you are open ‘.

Lovely, I will see you soon I murmur throatily and write him in the book.

Ring Ring - Good Morning Jenny’s Retreat

‘Hello Jenny, how are you after our wonderful night together?’

I roll my eyes. We can go for months without having a pervert, but at the moment I have two.

 One is just a heavy breather and this one is a phantom stalker who has a fetish for sending me panties with blow stains on them.

He rings about once a week to discuss my underwear with me. I hang up.

Ring Ring, Good morning Jenny’s Retreat

‘It’s me again. Don’t hang up on me Jenny, I’ve sent you a parcel in the mail. I love …..’

I hang up again. The doorbell rings, and I buzz over and let in Karen and Candy. Karen is studying at university and works a couple of shifts a week to get enough money to live on.

She has long blonde hair and enormous boobs that the gentleman get lost in.

Candy is Chinese, she married a guy who just up and left her with four kids and a mortgage.

Her mother looks after the kids while she works, I don’t know if her mother knows what she does for a job. She has long hair too, as straight and shiny as something off a shampoo ad, and a tiny body.

She is very popular with my clients who like small Asian ladies.

‘Hi Jenny ‘they say as they move past me into the lounge. ‘We found this in the letter box.’

It was a parcel wrapped in plain brown paper, stamped and addressed to me. I put it on the edge of my huge Jarrah desk and dashed back to the phones.

Know what a golden shower is I ask the girls as I grab the nearest phone.

 Good Morning Jenny’s Retreat

‘Yeah it’s when the guy lies in the bath and watches as you pee on him ‘

Yes sir, we do. Do you prefer shaved or unshaved? ……We will see you soon then

"Really, URGH. Well we’ve got someone wanting one in half an hour.

Either of you care to oblige?"

They look at each other and Karen shrugs ‘I’ll do it. Better start drinking some water, hope he is not late.’ Why I ask. ‘ Well I’ll have a couple of litres of water sloshing around inside me and I won’t be able to take a pee. That would just be money down the drain.’

It’s your bladder, and where does this lovely event take place? I ask.

‘In the bath ‘says Karen as she begins her second glass of water.

Well make sure you disinfect it afterwards. Ring Ring

Jenny’s Retreat Good Morning   

Have you opened my present yet, I seen your girls take it in.

I hang up.

My god he’s out there watching. I stick my head out the door and see nothing except Joanie and Monika walking up the path in their street clothes of jeans, T shirts and trainers.

‘You okay, Jen?’  You haven’t seen any nutters hanging around, have you? I ask.

‘Have you noticed where we work?’ asks Monika as though we have them here all the time.

Ha, Ha. I peer around, but there is nothing out of the ordinary.

And anyway, he probably doesn’t look like a nutter shambling along muttering to himself and rolling his eyes, he is probably someone you would not look twice at or is at your weekend barbecue.

I go back inside and stare at the parcel. The four girls gather around. Could it be a Bomb? one asks.

‘Look it hasn’t been post marked.’ exclaims Joanie. ‘Can I have the stamps for my nephew - he’s mad on stamps ‘. Go for it. I mutter poking the parcel. Nothing ticking.

Ring Ring. Karen answers the phone with her third glass of water in hand.

The rest of the girls watch as I gingerly cut open the parcel and lift the lid off the box inside.

Ooooh!     I use the scissors to lift out a small pair of lace panties, black with little blue hearts sprinkled down one side.

‘Is that your size Jen ‘one of them piped up with. ‘I thought you were into the crutch less type, I don’t think Black is your colour. ’ said another. Everyone’s a comedian I snarl as the panties dangle on the end of the scissors.  ‘Pretty tacky really. ‘Joanie says.

That’s truer than you think as I point out a sticky stain down the front lace panel.

‘Eew gross ‘one says. ‘Looks like he started without you, another smart arse.

‘You call cops ‘says Candy.  Good idea. I say.

Ring ring.   ‘Have you opened it yet? I’ll visit you later on today, Jenny. Watch out for me.’

I bang down the receiver, I will be watching out for you alright.

The girls drift off, talking about what outfits they will be wearing today and arguing over who gets the hair dryer first. ‘We need a nun’s uniform.’ Karen yells out. No, definitely not. I shout back.

‘We have maids, nurses and secretary outfits, What about a school girl uniform?’ shouts Joanie.

I’ll think about that one. I say, There was a big demand for it, but dismiss it, knowing it is illegal.

Phone rings - "Jenny’s Retreat, good morning. …..Yes sir, we do…..No that’s fifty dollars for the sensual massage. Any extras are between you and our girls…….No, I’m sorry, we don’t have any pregnant girls working for us at the moment. …..Well can I suggest you come and have a look.

I’m sure you will find someone that you will like. Shall I book you in? ……….

No that’s fine; most of our client’s just pop in. We will see you soon then."

Jenny’s retreat, good morning……. Yes we do have a redhead on this morning, she’s Danielle, really lovely, long curly hair almost down to her waist, with a beautiful body………She works out at the Gym and I’m sure she will give you a good work out too.

Good morning Jenny’s retreat. Oh hi Joelene. How is it going out in the big wide? world………. I didn’t fire you, you left, I thought your boyfriend was going to look after you………….He did WHAT? …………You do…………Well I can fit you in for a couple of evenings, I guess, but if you leave again, That’s It………have all the bruisers gone? Start tonight, gotta go, the phones are ringing, see you tonight.

By now it is 7 am, Candy unlocks the front door, there is two gentlemen walking up the path. One is here for his golden shower who I deliver him to Karen who is now wearing a very short dress with old fashion stockings and suspenders which peep out below her hem with a lace up corset that pushes  up her ample cleavage. .

She almost runs him down the hall to the room.

As he passes me he looked rather flattered at her eagerness, but I know she is busting for a pee.

The other man sits fidgeting near the desk; he asks to see all the girls. Certainly I escort him into the waiting room and call in the remaining three girls, they slink in and present themselves.

Monika has gone with the severe look. She is dressed as a secretary, with thick black rimmed glasses, high heels and a suit that is just like a business woman except the skirt is much shorter and one side is split almost to the waist and there is nothing under the jacket. Her hair is up in a French roll.

Candy has on white stockings and suspenders and a lace up corset she bought yesterday.

It reaches from her hips to her breasts, which are pushed up into a cleavage - the only cleavage she will ever have she said as she put it on. On top of that she wore a silky red dressing gown with a dragon embroidered onto it.

Joanie a brunette is in a see through top showing off her medium sized well formed breasts and a tiny pair of shorts that showed more than they covered.

The guy looks at them all then said ‘I wanted a blonde’. We do have a blonde sir, but she is with a client right now. If you like you can wait until she is free. ‘Okay, I’ll wait.’ The girls file out.

‘No, wait. Can I see the girls again?’ I bring the girls back in, we pull faces at each other and then they present with smiles. He takes a long time looking them up and down and then shakes his head.

‘No, I’ll come back another day.’ That’s fine; we have lots of girls on at different times.

I smile and escort him to the door. ‘What a wanker’ says Monika, she knows she missed potential income. She sits down in a chair in a very un secretary like manner and stares out the window.

‘What’s he doing?’ We all rush to the window. There is our dissatisfied client sitting in his car and jerking off. I make a mental note to change the way the clients can view the girls and get them to wear more clothes at presentation.

Ring Ring.  Good morning Jenny’s Retreat ……..Yes sir, we do threesomes……..You and who? …….Your wife…….yes of course, no problem, see you at five thirty.

We have varying clients in different combinations, husband and wife, two mates and two girls, two girls and a guy, three girls and a guy, you name it we get requests for it.

Good morning Jenny’s Retreat …….Yes, we do have an Asian lady working this morning ………she is very small, with a lovely body and gorgeous eyes and hair……… well you will have to ask her that sir, I only offer sensual massages……..yes she tries to very hard to please her gentleman ………. Yes she is free now …….. Lovely, see you soon.

You cannot discuss anything other than massage over the phone; you don’t know who you are talking to.

It is illegal to offer sex, this is strictly behind closed doors between the client and the girl, and I did not want to know.

The house collects fifty dollars from the client on entry of which the girl receives twenty dollars. The girl is then paid directly for any other ‘Tricks’ she offers.

Blind Freddie on a galloping horse knew what went on behind closed doors.

But we all had to be seen as a ‘massage parlour’.

The vice squad would occasionally try to trick you over the phone to the fact you are selling sex and bust you. Some girls were busted in the room because they didn’t follow the rules. If the client keeps his watch on it could be vice with a recording device inside.

It is all about being discreet and knowing who you are dealing with.          

Jenny’s Retreat good morning ……… No sir, we don’t have any sixteen year old girls, we do have an eighteen year old on today, lovely chestnut hair and long tanned legs …….. She’s a bit shy, but if you are okay with that …….. Lovely, I’ll make sure she is free.

Good morning Jenny’s retreat …… No sir, none of the girls will dress as a school girl ….. We do have maids, school teachers, secretaries ……. No, we don’t have nuns either …….. See you soon.

Monika, you have a client soon wanting a shy eighteen year old. Can you manage that?

‘No worries, I always liked being eighteen, have to change my costume. ‘

And someone for you Candy, he says he just wants someone to talk to.

‘Sure, I do that.’ She has been learning English from the girls, but she isn’t up to brilliant conversation yet. She will have to let her fingers do the talking.

Joanie can you man the phones for a few minutes, I want to call the cops about our pantie friend.

‘Don’t let her do that! ‘complains Monika. ‘You always get her to do that. She grabs all the good clients for herself.’

‘Do not ‘says Joanie ‘Yeah what about the time you ……….. ‘          

A knock on the door cuts short the bitch session, a small shifty eyed man sidles in. His eyes flicker around as if he is caught in a trap. He glances around quickly and backs up as I come towards him.

‘Is this where …. Err …. I just came to see if …. Um ….’ Were you wanting a massage, sir. I ask.

‘Uh … yeah …. Massage.’ he clears his throat. ‘Yeah can I have a massage ‘with new found confidence. Of course sir, Joanie can you take care of this man.

Joanie sashays out and the man’s eyes wash all over her and then rest back at the floor. ‘Yeah great.’

He holds out a wad of money and I take out fifty dollars and hand back the rest. Joanie smiles at him and takes his arm and tows him down the hall to the room.

The girls always get a kick out of first timers. Some would act as first timers when in fact they were long time regulars at other parlours.

That leaves me back on the phones as Monika is off getting changed and Candy isn’t up to reception duties with her busted English.

The phones have fallen quiet, so I take the opportunity to call the police, they promise to send someone around as soon as possible.

Soon Candy and Monika are busy with clients and I have one gentlemen waiting in the lounge area, flicking through the XXX rated magazines I have placed on the table. He looks like he won’t last until a girl is free. I took him in a cup of coffee and chat until the phone rings.

"Good morning Jenny’s retreat ……. Oh yes, have you worked in the business before? …… Okay, can you come in this morning and we’ll have a talk …… lovely, see you then.

Girls move around from parlour to parlour, and in particular to new parlours like mine.

They would get restless and move and occasionally come back to you. The problem was they would take up to ten clients with them which left a hole in the business. This would be done behind closed doors prior to them leaving and I would only find out after they left. Money was always a lure.

Competition between parlours was rigorous and at times violent. Fire bombings, beatings and stand over tactics the norm. ‘Protection money’ was sort by outsiders - bottom feeders - trying to cash in.

 It wasn’t what you know - it was who you know. One phone call could save you a lot of heart ache.

I had a lot of influential clients.

When things quieten down a little around lunch time we take the opportunity to grab a meal and have a chat and a laugh about the events of the day.

 I had to watch them to see what they were wearing as they would wonder off down to the local Mt  Lawley shopping centre with very little on.

Occasionally I would have to yell at them to get back and put some clothes on.

Needless to say we were well looked after at the local lunch bar and from time to time the girls would bring back new clients from the local hobby shop.

Ring ring   Good morning Jenny’s Retreat … another sick puppy, this one gets his rocks off by talking dirty over the phone, he thinks it gets me excited.

Sometimes you won’t hear from him for weeks but I always know it is him by his strange creaky voice.

‘Good morning Jenny, I have been watching you. I got some good photos of you last week, I’m looking at them now - very attractive. ‘

Bugger this I think, I am looking at something attractive too.

‘What’s that, Jenny?’  my lunch I scream and hang up at get back to my lunch.

The police arrive in plain clothes and the gentlemen sitting in the lounge suspect who they are and hide behind magazines and newspapers. The cops aren’t interested in them as I escort them into my office.

I explain to them this is an ongoing scenario but it has escalated with the latest parcel. They inspect the outside of the parcel ‘Shame you all handled the wrapping ‘says the lead cop.

We did not know what it was; besides we were curious.

He then lifted out the contents using his pen.

‘At least we have got some good evidence here ‘as he twirls around the panties. He gathers up all the evidence into a plastic bag and puts away his notes.

‘If you like my colleague Bernadette can hang around for a while in case he turns up.

Maybe she can blend in as a trainee receptionist or similar.’  Suggests the cop.

Somehow I think this could be bad for