Avenue of Lust and Broken Dreams

By Catherine M Cusano

Even though it is only a weeknight on the "Avenue", you can still hear bass pumping from three blocks away. You catch bits and pieces of music from the passing cars. Summer is coming but it seems far away. All this week it has been annoying weather, you know the kind where you wish it would make up its mind as to what it is going to do. Doesn't matter, mostly everyone still shows up to hang out or check in at least, maybe leave word for someone else. Without an "I'll be back" the two leave again for the third time this week.

Monday words passed between the two. "Come on, let's go." "Go where?" "It doesn't matter, come on." So with a wave and and "I'll be back" to anyone who heard they were gone before anyone really noticed. They walk to the car, get in and go. Where they are going she does not know, doesn't really care to be honest. They're alone. They've been alone before this time just seems different. Things have changed between the two lately it seems. Glances at the other while the other wasn't looking have been made more than once. Now and then, the other wouldn't be fast enough to turn away getting caught, maybe on purpose. Now when their eyes catch the gaze is held longer, sometimes, most times ending with a smile. They stand closer together when they say "Hi" they are not even aware of their actions. Her friend has noticed but has not said a word, watching where it goes.

He makes her laugh a time or two more, looks into her eyes, smiles, says to her "Come on, let's go". After a few minutes of traveling the side streets they find themselves parked in an alley of sorts. The windows open and the radio on. It is quiet, quieter than the "Avenue" heard in the distance. It is just the two of them so they can continue their earlier conversation. Leaning against their car door each facing the other in the front seat. It starts to lightly rain, wanting to keep the windows open but still getting hit with raindrops they try to rearrange the seating arrangements but it is difficult with her purse, the armrest being down, the cup holder and steering wheel. He suggests moving to the back seat where it would be more comfortable. So they climb over the seat. They are sitting closer than before, real close, he has his hand on her leg and pulls her closer. They continue to talk but it's different, more whispers than laughter, more eye contact and their fingers have become entwined. She notices his intent look, tilts her head, smiles and asks "What?" he replies "This" and kisses her.

Inspired by a true story between two young adults in the mid 80's when life was good and they were young. Attracted to each other at first sight friendship soon turns into "Lust" after they meet on the "Avenue". Their story begins in early spring and ends only when it becomes nothing more than "Broken Dreams".

• Language: English
• Publisher: Catherine M Cusano
• Release date: Apr 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458026569

Catherine M Cusano

I am a 45 year old jersey girl... This is a story about an actual romance between the quiet girl and the handsome boy during a few months of my life way back when life could not get any better than it was that summer. I always had thought I could write...write at least something. Then I was prompted to re-write a statement...the statement just kept going and here it is. Its not perfect, no one is, but it is my story. I found out it doesnt end there that there is more ...i can tell you about that soon in the meanwhile I hope you enjoy...

Book preview

Part I

Lust is a physical need for something or for someone,

Whereas, love is an emotional need for it or them

* * * * *

Prologue

Even though it is only a weeknight on the Avenue, you can still hear bass pumping from three blocks away. You can catch bits and pieces of music from cars as they pass. Summer is coming, but it seems far away. All this week it has been annoying weather, you know the kind where you wish it would make up its mind as to what it is going to do, hoping it would just rain and get it over with. Doesn’t matter mostly everyone still shows up to hang out, stop by at least or leave word for someone else. Without an I’ll be back the two leave again for the third time this week

* * * * *

Monday…

We both look

Our eyes meet And I can’t help but wonder:

Was it me who caught you gazing,

Or you who caught me?

* * * * *

Monday words passed between the two.

Come on let’s go.

Go where?

It doesn’t matter come on. So with a wave and an I’ll be back to anyone who heard they were gone before anyone really noticed.

They walk to the car and leave. Where they are going she does not know, doesn’t really care to be honest. They’re alone. They’ve been alone before, this time just seems different.

Him one might think it’s a simple word, in this case it surely isn’t, he isn’t any better really, both of them can turn her inside out lately. He being Him, the one she spotted that day when they showed up early on a beautiful Saturday afternoon about six weeks earlier.

Two days after she had spotted him, she gets out of the car and sees that he is there again. He is talking to someone she knows, she starts to get excited. She says hello to the friend then says Hi to the newcomers. It seems they are talking about a fight, between two people within the hour at a parking lot nearby. She breaks away for a moment and while making sure she has her back towards him and facing her friend she exclaims as loudly as she can without being overheard it’s him the one from Saturday that passed us while we were hearing what happened to the guy on the motorcycle on Friday. You know, the one I watched walk away and what’s his name got pissed and said something. Her friend is looking at her with an expression of So what on her face totally uninterested. She’s not excited he’s not her type, but he is definitely hers, having both light hair and eyes. She tells her about the plans for later to watch the fight and she begs her to go. After much fast-talking on her part, her friend finally agrees. Within the hour, they are all at the parking lot joining a large group of people that have made a circle around the two fighters. It’s going to be a clean fight otherwise other girls and even them would not be witnesses to the brawl. Within moments, one is picked up then thrown to the ground, banging his head against the blacktop. It starts bleeding badly. He tosses his cigarette and tries to break up the two, shouting, That’s enough! That’s enough! It’s over. He is able to get the man on top off the other. His friends then take over, pull him away, and walk towards the Avenue victorious. People begin to leave and it’s obvious the other guy needs to go to the hospital. He calls us over and asks if we have a car to take him to the hospital. Even though they have never met the injured kid, they agree to take him. They get him there and make sure he is seen. They wait with him for his parents to come, so that he is not alone. Telling the hospital he fell off his skateboard in the street. The next night they return and he is there again, he asks about the kid from the fight. After talking to him and his friend for about an hour, they are ready to head to the burger place. The girls ask if they want to go along for the ride, he shrugs his shoulders and says Sure.

It seems lately things have changed between the two. Glances at the other while they weren’t looking have been made more than once. Now and then, the other wouldn’t be fast enough to turn away getting caught looking, maybe on purpose. Now when their eyes catch the gaze is held longer, sometimes ending with a smile. They are standing closer together when they say Hi they are not even aware of there own actions lately. Her friend has noticed but has not said a word, curious to see where it goes.

He walks over to her as he notices her searching her purse for the lighter someone had borrowed from her, he swears he just seen her drop it in there. She is always losing something in that damn bag. Sometimes she asks the closest person to hold her purse while she digs through it. Lately, he has been the closest. He sometimes looks for the lost article himself. Watching out of the corner of his eye, he sees that she is still looking and now she is shaking the damn thing. It would be faster to light it, her cigarette, for her, which he does just then and walks back to his friends and the conversation without skipping a beat.

Hello's are made as friends show up after longs days at work or working at nothing at all. Either way, it doesn’t matter as long as we are together it appears.

He comes over to ask her opinion on a debate between him and his friend, over an actor in a movie or some such thing and asks who she thinks is right. They were all talking and laughing as one by one each of their group has left to continue their discussion a few feet away as they continue their own. After a few moments she wonders, where did everyone go that was just here? She is somewhat distracted now from their conversation. How long ago did they leave them alone? She is thinking. She looks around and locates her best friend still carrying on with the others; she looks at her and smiles. He asks, What’s going on? Nothing, just wondering when they left is all. Does it matter? he asks No she replies as she notices her friend sticks her tongue out at her then purposely ignores her for the group she is with. She makes a face. Did you see what she just did? He laughs as they continue on with their conversation. He makes her laugh a time or two more, looks into her eyes, smiles, says to her Come on, let’s go.

After a few minutes of traveling the side streets, they find themselves parked in a wide alley. The windows open and the radio on. It is quiet, quieter than the Avenue heard in the distance. It is just the two of them so they continue their earlier conversation. Leaning against their car door each facing the other, on the front seat. They each try changing their position as it starts to lightly rain wanting to keep the windows open but the front seat is crowded with the steering wheel, arm rest being down, her purse and cup holder. Let’s sit in the back one of them suggests it would be more comfortable. So they climb over the seat. They are now sitting closer than before, real close, he has his hand on her leg and pulls her closer. They continue to talk but it’s different, more whispers than laughter, more eye contact, and their fingers somehow became entwined. She notices his intent look and tilts her head. She smiles and says What? he replies This and kisses her.

The two return about an hour later. Her friend’s eyes are full of questions, but only asks, Where’d you go? As he walks away then to greet a friend of his own, she tells her Just to go see if his sisters were around.

The Avenue is mostly empty now since it is starting to get late. You could always tell it was time to go when the traffic died down along with the amount of noise, seeming quieter than earlier in the night with the exception of sirens coming from far up the avenue.

People say good-bye just as they’ve said hello with phrases of Later or You going to be here? Whether it was tomorrow night or a week later, it made no difference. Actually, it is more of a statement than an actual question, used maybe instead of good-bye.

After the two have caught up on the happenings while they were away, it was time for them to say good-bye. Still trying to play it cool, good-bye’s were exchanged in the same matter as all the others with the exception of his. It was a little rushed, as if he and his friend were late at being on their way. With cheek kisses exchanged between them all and a calling of later, they all go their separate ways, the boys disappearing around the corner and the girls walking to the car.

After the girls get into the car practicing the same rituals developed through years of friendship. One starts the car while attaching her seat belt as the other attaching her seat belt ducks the chest strap she also opens the window, straightens the cup holder, that seems to be out of place, and changes the radio station even though the driver is enjoying the tune. The knob, after all is on her side so in some weird way making it acceptable, even if it’s only to her. One asks the other okay? as if to say, are you ready? Agreeing with either a nod or a gesture, they are on their way home too.

The questions that were in the friends eyes earlier are now being asked. So I know you told me where you went, but where did you actually go? We parked over on one of the side streets and talked. Uhuh she says all you did was talk, for an hour? Well is the response from the other answering the question but not giving her the full story. Now the questions come at a rapid pace with some excitement. He kissed you? Really? Are you going to see him again? Well answer me! She part yells and laughs at the same time. You didn’t give me a chance, don’t start. In response, she answers Yes, he did, in answer to Really? she says No, I’m making it up and blushes a bit. The friend teases her Don’t lie if he didn’t you wouldn’t be blushing. What else happened? Nothing, she says slowly and deliberately trying to get her friend to stop asking questions. It didn’t work, it never does, again she asks, Are you going to see him again? and she answers with a sigh and an I don’t know.

The traffic light they are at changes and they continue driving. She is quiet and the friend lets her be for a few moments longer. Then with an exasperated tone again asks, What else happened? Nothing! She says quickly, a little annoyed and looks straight ahead feigning deep concentration on a road that she could probably drive backwards with her eyes closed, if she ever needed too. The friend responds with What’s wrong? she is shouting again, she is never going to shut up she thinks to herself. Nothing, it’s just that, well, you know when, never mind its ok partly wanting to ask the friend her opinion but decides it may be better to figure it out herself.

What? she yells, then again this time lower What, what are you thinking about? Did it not happen the way you wanted it too? She contemplates and says after a brief moment of thought Did you do anything? At the end of a long drawn in deep breath, she replies with a simple, but whispered No. Of course, they did something they were kissing after all, and there was touching hard to kiss without it, but no touching that was sexual in any way, just kissing. As she thought it over again it was actually nice. Better than nice. Kind of romantic really, if you think about it. She is smiling now. Her friend notices the turnaround and asks What? She is sitting straighter in her seat, fluffing her hair in the mirror. She looks at her and smiles Nothing? she says quickly. Her friend’s only reply is You’re a nut! She laughs as the cars behind them honk the light has already changed.

They park the car and walk up the block together, having lived next door to each other all their lives. Since the friends house comes up first they stop to say good night and make plans for the next day. The friend asks as she walks up the porch to her front door as she waits for the other to reach her own. It is only twenty-eight paces away. They watch each other return home safely, it’s what they do, she loudly whispers Does he kiss good? she steps onto her porch turns to answer and nods her head and smiles. Together they open their own front door and saying good night.

Tuesday…

Tuesday night. Finally home from work after a long drive, not that it is far but tonight it took more than an hour to get home. Running late, she hurries into the house. She has to shower and change. They have plans with the boys tonight. The other boys that live on the south side of town. They try to get together every Tuesday and go to the diner to laugh with each other and then go home. It seems all they do at times is laugh.

Old friends, they meet up with for only a few months out of the year and have been for at least the past five years. There is nothing going on with anyone at the moment but she has noticed that look in her friend’s eye last night as they made plans for tonight. Oh no here we go again she thinks to herself, who has she set her sights on now? She has to hurry though she hasn’t told her they were making a pit stop. We have to check in. It’s not as if they have too and usually don’t on the nights they have plans with the other guys but tonight she wants too. She is trying to figure out how they are going to squeeze in both. She knows tonight is her night, it goes without saying. If I am quick she shouldn’t complain all that much. Ha! We’ll just do a drive by that should make us both happy.

She stops at her house and knocks, her sister’s friend opens the door. He is sitting on the couch, the seat next to the front door. Here it’s a given that if you sit there in that particular spot you are doorman until you change your seat or leave. If you leave, you are to leave any messages or pertinent information to your replacement. It’s not your typical home but it is comfortable. Sometimes feeling more comfortable there than your own home. It’s not strange to have the sisters leave and their friends stay behind to watch TV while the mother is in her room reading the latest novel. She doesn’t mind, they bring their own snacks and soda. One gets up now to do the dishes and complains the room is a mess to straighten up as he takes an empty glass to the kitchen with him. Even though there are complaints of you’re not my mother, the friends do go about straightening up. The mother enjoys these, her other children, more than her own most days at least they help out around the house. This is the scene as she enters the home it’s not surprising it’s like this most every day. Some people know to come here, to this home, to find their friend if they cannot be found in their own home. Hence, the doorman position, he gives information as to their whereabouts if not in attendance or an invitation to sit and wait. She has to admit it does come in handy this doorman position, it’s usually the nosier one of the group who holds it.

She says hello and walks through to her room. She is allowed past the living room having spent as much time in this home as she has in her own, maybe more. Seems to be the same way with people currently sitting in the living room, they having spent a lot of time here lately too. She knows each of their parents isn’t getting along right now. They don’t ask how its going they already know, otherwise they would not have spent most of the day here. Already she is complaining, she does that when she is nervous and excited, because they are running late. She tells her she was stuck in traffic because of the train. It seems traffic on both sides of the tracks shuts down when a train passes and you are stuck until it does. Most nights it is just easier to turn the car off and wait. Usually, there are not so many cars but tonight it was a long one she counted one hundred and twenty two. She tells her let’s go as if she’s holding her up. She still doesn’t have her shoes on. She is the one that isn’t ready. While the friend continues to complain she has something to complain about too, she goes on to tell her, Sometimes you can call for me you know, I have get ready faster than you do just as snippy as her Let’s go. This is where it starts and will probably continue for the rest of the night.

They bicker. A lot. People could and do say, it sounds like fighting. They are not quite sure it is either. It’s just the way they have always been. When asked if they are, they always look at each other with an expression of wonder as to what exactly they are talking about and usually answer simultaneously No. They go on this way all the way to the car complaining about the other, each getting a little testier and a little louder. Its only nerves causing them to act like this. If you cannot express yourself truthfully to your best friend without suffering any repercussions, you shouldn’t be friends then. Finally reaching the car around the corner, they start on their way. The friend notices she has made a left instead of a right at the light and asks Shouldn’t we be going the other way? No, we’re going the right way she states. Again the friend insists, she waves her hand and tells her We are going the right way, don’t worry I know where I am going. With this being said, muttering and grumbling can be heard from the passenger. Listen, I just want to pass by she says as an explanation. Well hurry up then! Alright, I know, I’m trying but the light is still red should I fly over the cars for you? I don’t care what you do as long as we are downtown in 15 minutes! Okay she yells just as loudly I know! Now the driver is muttering and grumbling. They apply their makeup while on their way uptown; the trick is not to look any cuter for the guys' downtown than you do for the ones uptown. The ones downtown are used to them wearing a little more while the guys uptown complain about it with comments as to Where do you think you’re going? Or Who are you trying to impress?" They seem to forget that even though they treat us as one of them they are girls too.

Its ok they still have to go back the other way, they can always apply more. They finally arrive after going a few blocks past the corner taking the side streets on the other side of the Avenue heading up and come back around so it seems they are coming from somewhere else. They are waved down to stop. He comes over to the car on the driver side and says through the window Listen, I’m going to hang with the boys tonight after he kisses her hello. Why is he telling me that she wonders? She responds with We were just passing by on the way downtown anyway. You’ll be here? he asks meaning the next night, Yeah the girls say together they look at each other and laugh. The girls do this often, say the same thing at the same time and can finish each other’s sentences too, most of the time. He kisses her good-bye and tells