How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship: What You Need to Know About Domestic Violence

By Donna J. Farris

“After years of visits to emergency rooms, reconstructive surgeries, dislocated shoulders, and more black eyes than I can remember, I finally filed felony assault charges against my husband only to drop them when he agreed to pastoral counseling. But during the counseling session, the pastor continually avoided the issue of spousal abuse so evident within my marriage. Instead, he seemed to focus on what my role was as a wife. He told me to submit to my husband and try not to ‘set him off.’ The pastor also indicated I was expecting too much of my husband. Yet in all our counseling sessions, the pastor never told my husband about his biblical responsibility to love and care for me, his wife. And not once did the pastor ever reprimand my husband for his violence, ask him to step down from his leadership position, or refer him to a batterer’s program. I left those counseling sessions feeling empty, believing God did not care for me at all...[Removing an eye patch which revealed a badly swollen eye and bruised face she asked], ‘I truly hate him for hurting me like this, but what if I really do burn in hell for breaking up my marriage? And I ask you, could hell be any worse than having to live like this?’”

Such first-hand stories of abuse are hard to comprehend, yet are more common than most people realize. Domestic violence kills more than four and a half million women every year in America. It continues to be the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15-44 in the U.S. And a national crime survey has labeled the American home at night the most dangerous place to be and the most likely setting for homicide to occur.

"How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship" is not just another tedious psychological study about relationship violence. While readers will find factual information on domestic violence, they will also discover more than forty insightful, practical ways to save lives. In addition, an entire chapter is devoted to providing biblical answers to this perplexing plague destroying families. Will you be a friend to an abused woman? If so, this book is for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Donna J. Farris
• Release date: Aug 11, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465774293

Donna J. Farris

Donna has spent much of her adult life writing something for someone. Therefore it seemed logical to combine her writing experience with her love for people, Jesus Christ, and His Word.As an indie author, Donna's books include the non-fiction e-book series entitled, "Gripped for Glory." This series contains biblical biographies of individuals who transformed their world by simply sharing their stories of His glory. Through the aide of Personal Application questions, each of these short works encourages public evangelism making this series a great resource for small group bible studies. Several more biblical biographies are planned for this series.By far, Donna's favorite books are found in her Christian fiction/fantasy series entitled, "Divine Commissions." Filled with exciting real-to-life adventures of ordinary people, epic struggles between angels and demons, good and evil, and right and wrong, this collection chronicles the stories of Eli and Jasmine, servants of the Most High God, as they intervene in the affairs of mankind to save souls. Volume III, "The Power of a Legacy," was the first in this series. Volume IV, "Messiah's Message," was released next. Volume II, "Stone of Truth" was published in January 2015.When she is not pounding the keys in some form or fashion, Donna loves hanging out with her grandkids, patio gardening, walking, dining with friends, watching old movies, sharing the good news of God's love, praying and serving the saints of God.

Book preview

How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship

What You Need to Know About Domestic Violence

By Donna J. Farris

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2011 Donna J. Farris

Ebook cover

Image of frightened woman: Copyright godfer - Fotolia.com

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to those with the courage to help a friend in need.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 - Statistics on Domestic Violence

Chapter 2 - Factual Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

Chapter 3 - What the Bible Says About Domestic Violence

Chapter 4 - Practical Ways to Help a Friend

Conclusion

Introduction

In addressing the complex and often perplexing issues that permeate the subject of domestic violence our best insights often come by simply listening to the victims. Consider the following true quotes from abused women:

1-Six weeks after I married my husband, I discovered he had a cruel, violent streak. His angry outbursts (such as throwing a pan through the sliding glass door in the kitchen, habitually kicking the dog, his endless ranting and ravings about simple inconveniences, and his frightening threats to hurt me or the kids) got progressively worse until I left one night. But he followed me and tried to force my car off the road. Our newborn son was in the back seat...The church we had been attending encouraged me to submit to his authority and return home so I returned. Despite weeks of pastoral counsel, the violence seemed to get worse. I finally decided to leave for good. Now the church doesn’t want to help me because no one wants to alienate him. I don’t know how I will be able to raise our three children on my salary of eleven hundred dollars a month.

2-"Unless you’ve been there, you don’t know what it’s like. For about three years now, my husband has slapped me across the face, dragged me across the room by my hair, and refused to allow me to leave the house alone even to go grocery shopping. I am a virtual prisoner in my own home. He has brutally raped me on several occasions. We’ve talked to preachers and counselors who said I should try and make my husband happy while he was trying to find himself as a man.