Cracking the relationship code

By Edward Hearns

Have you ever wondered why it is so hard for people to get into and remain in a committed relationship? There are many stories of people who have decided that maybe it is not for them. Others figure that if it’s God will he will find them a mate. Giving up is not the answer and it is not God’s job to find you a mate. There are lots of good men/women out there and like you they also would like to be in a meaningful relationship.
CRACKING THE RELATIONSHIP CODE is not just another book that points the finger at everyone else and makes it easy to blame all your problems on members of the opposite sex. Instead it offers help by causing you to examine some of your own internal issues in a way that empowers you to overcome obstacles that inhibit your ability to maintain a meaningful relationship. As you are reading the pages of this book, you will be amazed by the author’s ability to captivate you with his unique approach to a subject that is at the forefront of many people’s minds and the topic of so much conversation.
The book is easy reading and every chapter starts off with a short story that highlights topics that are expounded upon in the following narrative. It is such a rare opportunity to come across a book that engages your attention in such a meaningful way. This book has universal appeal that transcends race, gender and relationship status. It is filled with aha moments that reach out and touch you like so few others in this genre. The book not only offers insightful information it actually connects with you in a way that lets you know that you are hearing from someone who has been there.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Edward Hearns
• Release date: Jul 19, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466174245

Edward Hearns

Edward Hearns accepted his call into the ministry in 1996. He was ordained as an Elder in the Church Of God In Christ in 2004. He is the Associate Pastor of the Temple worship Center under the leadership of Superintendent Joseph Fisher. Edward Hearns has served his local church in the capacity of Youth Minister, Teacher and Conference Coordinator. As an Evangelist Edward has traveled across the country bringing the message of hope and redemption.In December 2005 Elder Hearns founded the Empowerment Conference series. Since then he has coordinated and hosted this event in association with Pastor Fisher on an annual basis. These conferences have attracted people from across the country longing to experience the power of God. Edward has appeared on television programs as well as internet broadcast bringing a message that is timely, and reflects his years of counseling and ministry. His first book “No Lack” was published in 2007As an Associate Pastor and youth Minister Elder Hearns has spent countless hours counseling people in many areas of their lives. During these sessions he realized that most of the people he counseled were either in a relationships that was not working or they were seeking to become involved in a relationship and were feeling discouraged by what was available on the dating scene. In time it became evident that there was a need for a fresh voice in this area. “Cracking the relationship code” is a series of book that deals with this subject in detail.

Book preview

Cracking the Relationship Code

By Edward J Hearns

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First Smashwords Edition, 2011

Copyright 2011 by Edward Hearns

Published by Smashwords

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Author: Edward Hearns

1st Assistant Editor: Deidre Colbert

2nd Assistant Editor: Calla Fisher

Editor in Chief: Erica Hearns

Cover Design: Joleene Naylor

Cover images courtesy of: Blueximages at Dreamstime.coms and Linda Guy

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Contents:

Acknowledgements

Foreword

One: Firing the Rep

Two: Barbeque Grill

Three: Mind games

Four: Return and Recycle

Five: Changing Seasons

Six: 5150

Seven: Breaking up

Eight: New Beginning

Epilogue

About the Author

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Acknowledgements

Although I cannot mention everyone that has had a part in making this book a reality, there are some individuals without whose assistance and input this book would be incomplete. Their input was of such an exceptional value that I feel it need to be highlighted in this brief space. They provided information to refine the content, offered their editing services, and encouraged me in my exploration of the content. I would like to offer my thanks and appreciation to my sister, Louise Taplin, a licensed mental health counselor, who imparted to me the indispensable information concerning mental illness and its effects on both individuals and their families utilized in the chapter 5150; to Deidre Colbert, who worked tirelessly alongside me in the early stages of the book, offering insight and assistance with the editing of the early chapters; to my Pastor, Joseph Fisher, who offered his assistance in proofreading the manuscript and providing insight and wisdom; to Pastor Shirley Mitchell, who has written the best foreword this book could have asked for; to Sharon Mann, whose honesty and straightforwardness were priceless to this process. Sharon, you encouraged me to dig deeper and write beyond where I was in order to crack the relationship code. Furthermore, thanks for giving me the title of this book; and to my daughter, Erica Hearns, who provided her keen editing skills to help shape this book into its final form.

I would also like to acknowledge those willing hands who helped me turn my manuscript into a finished book: to Linda Guy, who was instrumental in finding the artwork for the book cover; and a special thanks to Jolene Naylor for creating an exceptional book cover, and formatting the manuscript for both e-book and paperback publishing. I could not have done this without your help.

It is almost impossible to acknowledge all the people that helped in the creation of this book. Some have helped unknowingly by words or actions that have left impressions on my mind. Friends and family members have helped through conversations and by proofreading chapters and offering advice. Even if I did not mention you by name, know that everything that you have done has been appreciated and will be remembered.

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Foreword

The hope of cracking the relationship code has been the pursuit of many and the focus of countless psychological, social and communication theories. Many great political, social, and spiritual leaders have examined, analyzed and categorized interpersonal relationships, hoping to find that magical blueprint of success. One could argue that the entire spectrum of human development, from conception to death, can be measured by the success or failure of human relationships.

The foundation of relationships is God ordained and God ordered. The origin of relationships can be found in the creation account in Genesis when God created man and woman. A God ordained union and a perfect environment is nevertheless subject to negative influences, as evidenced by the first family, Sir Adam and Lady Eve.

The author has provided us with essential psychological, social and spiritual concepts that will maximize our relationship potential. A tailored case study is presented within each chapter that assists the reader in decoding the secret messages, which are deeply hidden within the relationship code. The examination of these case studies provide the reader with the ability to decode sabotaging programs operating in the subconscious that often hinder and prevent relationship success.

Developing and maintaining a good relationship requires the ability to understand the hidden messages that are communicated in interpersonal relationships. The author addresses specific relationship issues such as misrepresentation of the truth, relationship games, and lack of communication, rejection, past scars, incompatibility and the hope of a new beginning.

This book, Cracking the Relationship Code, is a tremendous contribution to society, uncovering many of the issues forbidding love and relationships. The author, Edward James Hearns has presented readers with the skills to reposition him or herself to beat the statistical odds and to successfully enter a new relationship.

Each chapter deals with a relationship issue that is capable of creating a disaster if not properly decoded. The author has masterfully cracked the relationship code using his knowledge of social interactions, human development and case presentation.

I am particularly intrigued by the chapter highlighting (ASBS) Always Something Better Syndrome, which addresses men’s commitment issues, and their use of ASBS to keep the door open. The chapter 5150 is equally intriguing, written to shed light on some of the irrational behavior that occurs in relationships.

This book is a must read for everyone, especially those getting out of the return bin as masterly defined by the author. This book assures you that you can succeed if you are willing to exit the reality that you have created. As you turn the pages of this book, you are turning a new chapter in your life and beginning to create the successful relationship you are entitled to.

Shirley A Mitchell, MSN

Senior Pastor

Beauty for Ashes International

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Firing the Rep

Carlos was rushing to get to out of work so that he could be on time to pick up Candace. This was their first date and he wanted everything to be perfect. Candace was the type of woman any man would want. She was fine and her family was well connected and had lots of money. Carlos knew it would take a lot to impress her, so he spared no expense. He chose to take her to Wang’s Sushi Bar in Hollywood. He knew that he couldn’t really afford it and that he would have to juggle some bills around just to pay for the check, but he could handle it. After all, it wasn’t every day that he got to go out with a woman of Candace’s caliber.

Carlos had come to the conclusion that women weren’t really interested in the truth a long time ago. He couldn’t blame them; what could be more boring? All his life, he had told people what they wanted to hear and it always seemed to work, especially with women. Making up stories seemed to be something that he had a knack for, and the idea he could get paid to do it was irresistible. That was why he figured he could make it as a screenwriter.

He also knew that he had not been completely honest with Candace when he told her that he was a screenwriter. Although this was not entirely false (he was working on several screenplays that he hoped to sell), in reality the only thing piling up faster than his bills were the rejection letters he was receiving from producers that weren’t interested in his scripts. Carlos believed that if she found out he was only a struggling student paying his way through school by waiting tables this would be his first and last date with her.

Carlos didn’t really like lying to women, but he knew that was the way to get them. One of his father’s favorite sayings was when something worked you didn’t fix it. His father had been an auto body repairman that eked out a meaningless life by fixing other peoples’ blunders. He had a lot of old sayings that were outdated but some of them actually made sense. Maybe that was worth something because it was the only thing that he left Carlos when he died. Some legacy; a collection of old saying and a funeral bill that the family was still struggling to pay off.

Carlos decided early on that his life would be more meaningful than that. He knew he would get his big break and his whole world would change. In fact, he couldn’t lose now that he was about to hook up with a beautiful girl who had lots of money and a father that was connected in the industry. For Carlos it couldn’t get any better than that. With a woman like Candace on his side, there was no limit to how high he could soar. This was the chance of a lifetime, and he was not about