Space Ambassadors

By Nelson Lynch

Caleb swears the barmaid has three breasts, six fingers and seven toes. Bill disagrees. He invites her and her friend Magellana to a catfish fry at a local church. Caleb says they are vampires.from somewhere out past the big dipper. The girls say they are from Transylvania and not vampires

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nelson Lynch
• Release date: Jul 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465982582

Nelson Lynch

An Eastern Shore native. A charter member of "The First Saturday Writers." An army vet and retired school teacher. He lives on his farm with his wife Jeanne, Clyde, the Taylorville Hound, three chickens and a marauding fox.

Book preview

Space Ambassadors

Nelson Lynch

Copyright 2011

Published by Hogskull Press at Smashwords

ISBN 978-1-4659-8258-2

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover: Microsoft Clip Art

I tell you, she’s an alien. Ask anybody. They’ll tell you the same thing. Caleb sat his empty draft beer mug on the bar, missing the beer coaster completely. She’s an alien. That’s all there is to it. He kept his eyes on the barmaid as she served a beer to someone on the other side of the bar. Look at her. Alien is written all over her.

No, she’s not. Just because she’s not from the Ozarks don’t make her an alien. He glanced at the football game at the end of the bar. I remember her saying she was from up North somewhere. I think she’s a nice-looking woman. Jerry nodded at the barmaid and pointed at the two empty mugs.

Caleb moved his mug to the coaster. Up North. Hell, you make it sound like she’s from Missouri or Kansas. When she said ‘Up North,’ she meant somewhere in the vicinity of the North Star. His voice trailed off and he leaned gently away from the bar as the woman removed the two empty glasses. He waited until she was at the far end of the bar drawing beer before he resumed. She’s hundreds of lightyears from here. Not even Alpha Centauri; that’s too close. I’ll bet a dollar to a donut she’s from somewhere out on the galactic rim, a thousand light years from here.

The barmaid wiped their area of the bar, put down two dry coasters and then the two draft beers. What else will you guys have? Our lunch special is a Cajun chicken sandwich. Mighty tasty. Deep fried in peanut oil. She flexed her shoulders as she reached over the bar for a martini glass. Her tee shirt tightened across her chest, momentarily showing three lumps.

Caleb shook his head and leaned further away from the bar. He waited until she moved down the bar to a vodka bottle. Did you see that? he whispered excitedly. She’s got three breasts.

Jerry shook his head slowly. He glanced across the bar as the woman stirred a martini. I don’t see anything. It could have been just a fold in her tee shirt.

Caleb followed her movements intently as she poured the cold martini into an up- glass. There’s something else about her. He raised his beer glass and checked the inch and a half head of foam. She don’t know how to draw a beer. Look at this head. She’s gypping us out of two or three ounces of beer. He twisted around slightly and looked at his friend. Are you listening to me? I said she’s cheating us out of beer with all this foam.

Jerry drank one third of the beer and sat the mug directly in the center of the coaster. She’s really good looking and I think she likes me. Look. She’s smiling at me now. He grinned across the bar and drank another third. I think I’ll ask her out on her next night off.

Caleb waited until the barmaid started waiting on another customer. Have you lost your mind? She’s got three breasts. He kept looking as she placed a dark drink in front of an auburn-haired woman. God knows what else she’s got extra. Have you checked her hand? I’ll bet it has six fingers. He took a sip of beer and held the mug up level with his eyes. Look, one sip and it’s half gone.

Jerry sipped his beer and kept on talking as if Caleb had never said anything. There’s catfish fry over in Danbury tomorrow afternoon. I could take her there.

Don’t be crazy. That’s a church catfish fry. You know how aliens act when they get inside a church. They go hog-wild and pig-crazy. The next thing you know, the roof caves in and kills everybody but them.

Jerry reluctantly swung around and looked at Caleb. Where have you been reading that trash? Sounds like the man-eating monster from Jupiter that was on the sci-fi channel a few weeks ago. He turned back and waved the woman over.

Caleb tugged on Jerry’s sleeve as the barmaid started toward them. "Don’t ask her out. She might be a vampire from the Big