Life after Death A Family's Walk Through the Shadow of their Loved One's Suicide.

By Shirley KalpinOlson

It was early in March,1999 when Randy hears the death sentence, when the doctor tells him he had two deadly forms of cancer.Both he and his wife, Sally are stunned. They don't know what to do. Randy becomes depressed. He had previously had four of his siblings succumb to deadly cancers. He felt he had no chance. Randy promises his family that he would take the recommended three chemotherapy treatments, but if this fails, he will not continue. After his third treatment, Randy continues to go downhill and his body and mind fail him. Even though he has support from his family he decided that suicide was his way out. He didn't want his family to watch his dying a slow degrading death as he went through with his siblings. His family does not believe this is the answer but were unable to change their loved ones decision. On May 15, 1999, Sally comes home from church and finds her beloved husband dead by a gunshot wound to his chest. Sally unable to handle this situation has anger, guilt, feeling of wanting to die herself to be with her husband and terrible loneliness. Unable to forgive her loved one, herself and also God, consumed her and kept her from going forward to be able to live again. One sad rainy day, as Sally is driving, she is encountered by a,real to her, Spirit, which showed her how to forgive, herself, her loved one, which helped her get back her life. After this terrible tragedy, God, her family and friends have all been influential in bringing this family through the long struggle back to live life again to its fullest. In this book there are Suicide statistics, what to look for, how to help those who may feel this is the answer and the many different layers of grief. It also tells how to get your life back again.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shirley KalpinOlson
• Release date: Jun 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458002778

Shirley KalpinOlson

"Shirley KalpinOlson "Truthinfiction" stories, are written from the heart to help the sad, hurt and lonely."She is a mother, grandmother, and retired RN, who has been writing for many years, and received several honors during her writing career. Also been published in Anthologies, newspapers, and newsletters. She was widowed in 1999 and remarried to a friend in 2002. Recently widowed again after her second husbands' lengthy illness. She continues to reside in a small town in MN. and is updating her stories to help the sad, hurt and lonely until the Good Lord takes her home. She is recently updating poems , and short stories. New release non-fiction memoir in smashword and D2D print. "The Many Dimensions of Dementia as seen Through the Family's Eyes."

Book preview

Life after Death

Third Edition

A Family’s walk through the shadow of a loved one’s Suicide

By Shirley KalpinOlson

Life After Death

Subtitle: A Family’s Walk Through The Shadow of Their Loved One’s Suicide.

Included are Q&A after chapters. Index of Statistics of Suicide, Helps for victims and survivors and also stages of death and dying and how to get zest back in our lives.

This book written from the heart of author and licensed for your personal enjoyment . If you would like to share it with another person, the author would appreciate it if you could purchase an additional copy for each -person. All Bible verses from NIV Bible.

Life after Death Copyright 2011 revised by author Shirley KalpinOlson in 2024 for D2D edition.

Dedication

I want to thank my precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Who reached out and snatched me out of my despair showing me how to forgive, let go and follow Him and also send others to help us get through these troubled times.

This book is dedicated to all those who walked this murky waters with our family and friends who helped, supported and encouraged us.

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1 Broken Life

Chapter 2 Leading to Disaster

Chapter 3 Premonition

Chapter 4-The Disaster

Chapter 5-Why? Why?

Chapter 6-The Funeral

Chapter 7-How Did We Get Here?

Chapter 8-Where Do I Go from Here?

Chapter 9-Beginning Life Over

Chapter 10 Don’t You Worry Don’t You weep

Chapter 11 God Leads us Back on Track

Chapter 12 Zest for Life Again

Author Note

A. Appendix: Suicide Statistics

B. Appendix: Types of suicides

C. Appendix: Risk of suicides

D. Appendix: What can we do?

E. The Six Phases of Grief

F. Stir Up Our Lives to Bring Back the Fire

G. Suicide Survivors Antidotes

H. Appendix, References

I. Other Books by Author

Prologue

Some people believe in the act of assisted suicide, but my belief is that suicide is not the right answer when we have a challenging time in our life. However, many who succumb to suicide strongly feel that they are lessening the burden for their family.

We believe that our loved one, because of his torment and confusion, possibly due to cancerous brain cells, felt this was the best for his family. Because he was a child of God, we also believe that he asked for forgiveness that last second, and God knew him, loved his heart, and forgave him. After his death, God revealed signs that showed us that our loved one was indeed with Him in heaven. Those signs will be included in this story. Also in this story, are suicide statistics, warning signs, risks, and prevention measures—along with help on how to deal with the phases of grief using God’s tools and other survivor’s experiences and anecdotes.

Suicide is a controversial subject, and there are many different opinions about God’s influence in helping to prevent it. In our experience, we have found that we could not have walked this walk alone. I, for one, needed God’s guidance to get through the darkest shadow on my family’s life and to give us the zest for living again. Our prayer for you is that the message in this story will give you hope, help, encouragement, peace, and a zest for life again

Chapter 1 Broken Life

My heart is in anguish within me. The terrors of death assail me. Psalm 55:4

It was Sunday morning, and the sun was still in hiding, which is typical for May in our part of the country. Randy, my husband, and I had our first good night’s rest in over three weeks, which seemed to brighten things. The last three weeks were crazy. He would roam around even outside at night, only to be found dazed and in his underwear several times. We had been married forty years, and nothing prepared me for this frightening behavior. In fact, he would be mortified if he knew what he was doing during these frightening times.

As his body became increasingly fragile and weak, I continually watched to make sure he did not fall and that he was able to find his way home from his night wanderings. Not crazy about someone bringing my man back home, especially in his underwear. Deep down, I had a gnawing in my stomach that this was only a part of what was to come.

It seemed like only yesterday that we had gotten the horrifying diagnosis of cancers, lymphoma, and leukemia, but it had been three months and three chemotherapy treatments ago.

After receiving the diagnosis and starting his grueling treatment schedule that dreadful March day, I sat in a trance in the doctor’s office as Randy asked, What would happen if I don’t take any chemotherapy treatments?

The cancer will spread throughout your organs at a rapid pace, but with three chemotherapy sessions, you may have a chance of slowing this process. I do not want to give you a time limit because everyone’s body is affected differently by the chemotherapy.

Tears fell down Randy’s cheeks, and he spoke in monotone. It sounds like you have just given me a death sentence, but the treatments will give me a little more time. Is this what you are saying?

Pain stabbed in my gut, with the realization of that statement. Lips quivered when I said, You can’t give up now; give yourself a chance. I know God has plans for you.

Still speaking in monotone, with beads of sweat showing on his brow, he said, I will take the three treatments for my family’s sake, but after that I am done. Watched three of my brothers and sisters suffer and snatched away by this vicious cancer in the last few years. What chance do you think I have?

There is always the possibility of a miracle, the doctor said.

The second week of March, Randy received three unusual types of chemotherapy, one medication for nausea, and another to help the chemotherapy work well. It all took place in five hours at the doctor’s office.

Afterward, walking from the office, Randy puffed up and said, Oh, I think I can handle this; that wasn’t half bad.

Within a couple weeks, though I heard an Oh, no, coming from the bathroom while he was combing his hair. Losing it!

What’s wrong, what are you losing? I asked as I ran into the room.

Hair, I’m losing my hair! pulling a handful of hair from his comb. Tomorrow morning, I am going to trot right down to the barbers and have a crew cut so I won’t notice my hair disappearing.

Laughing as I said, You know, I remember when I first met you, you had a crew cut. That is why I fell in love with you. You looked so distinguished, but I will love you even if you don’t have any hair.

Randy smiled, and gave a hug, said, "Thanks, I needed that.

***

The next morning, as the sun rose and warmed the crisp March air, we leisurely walked the half-mile to Tom’s Barbershop.