Big John: The Hick from Hell - Southern Fried Gothic Western Horror Stories

By Kailleaugh Andersson

Four Weird Western Horror Stories...from the South!

Big John is a black hat-wearing, six-shooter packing, moonshine drinking, lying son of a bitch, who resides in a cowless backwater in Mississippi.

Did I mention that Big John looks a lot like Gary Coleman?

Big John has frequent run-ins with the Devil, as you've never imagined him before, the local members of the KKK, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, and some dead folks who just won't lay down, no matter how many bullets he pumps into them.

It's kinda like the deformed love-chillen of Bonanza, Plan 9 from Outer Space & 2000 Maniacs with John Wayne as the prime suspect in the paternity suit.

Rip-roaring, laugh-out-loud, fucked up western horror stories like you've never read before!

Approximately 9,550 words.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alex Severin
• Release date: May 17, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458053763

Book preview

BIG JOHN : THE HICK FROM HELL

Weird Horror Western Stories

by Kailleaugh Andersson

Copyright 1997 – 2004, Kailleaugh Andersson

All Rights Reserved

Approx. 9,550 words.

Smashwords Edition

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Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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COVER CREDITS -

Cover by Alex Severin

COVER IMAGES :

Zombie Face by embepe @ SXC.hu

Graves by raflowers @ SXC.hu

Old Farm Truck by poberlin @ SXC.hu

Photoshop Brushes – The Grasslands by midnightstouch @ BrushEezy.com

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BIG JOHN

Big John went down into hell one night. We don't know how he ever got down there, but he did. He says he walked out his house and fell through a crack in the sidewalk and into the pit of hell. So he says, but then Big John been known to lie all o' the time. All I know is that he was drunk as hell itself, cause he'd been drinkin' on a gallon of moonshine he'd stole from his gramps and my brother Joey says he seen Big John walk out the door that night and pass out drunk on the gravel driveway next to his truck in a puddle of his puke.

Big John gits real damn mean as all hell when he is been a drinkin', so no one go and help Big John when he's sick drunk and all passed out in the mud. Big John mean, but he ain't big. We just call him Big John cuz his little brother name is also John and his brother known as Little John. Course Little John was bigger than Big John, but he went and done got his self killed off cuz he was drunk and a beer truck done hit him like a dog and made him into street grease. The beer man done smeared Little John's guts all over the front of his truck. We wasn't able to tell it was Little John, cept we found his one hand that was missin' his thumb since birth. But Big John just a little man with a big temper and a big hat like all o' them goat ropers on Death Valley Days wear on T.V. Big John done likes them shows and he says, Bad guys wear black hats, so I done got me a black hat. But Big John like them shows with