Life Will Get You in the End: Short Stories by David Satterlee

By David Satterlee

Short stories by David Satterlee. “[His writing is] humorous, bold, and adventurous all at once ... channeled through a facility for language and the music of words.”

Each story is short and sweet – or sometimes bittersweet – or just thought-provoking. There is often a surprise concluding twist that will "get you in the end." A gifted wordsmith, his range will surprise you.

Very human stories explore the extremes of life, loss, and love. David gives a stream-of-thought treatment to a love story involving elder-care; he presents a tale of xenophobic bullying in precise "Dr. Seuss" cadences; he explores gender relations and writes love poems. His engineering background provides technical credibility that will delight fans of hard science fiction.

David has a dry and sly sense of humor that enjoys irony, bad puns, and tongue-in-cheek allusions. He introduces several recurring iconic characters to watch for. Bobby is a bad boy; he is immature and usually gets it in the end, one way or another. Fergus Johnson explores gender relations; he is emotionally intelligent and usually knows how to live with women.

While avoiding being vulgar or salacious, a few stories treat on grown-up themes. A poem about the war in Vietnam contains disturbing images and profanity. Several stories allude to intimate moments or contain mild expletives. In a short play for two voices, a radio personality is deliberately crude; we are not amused.

In the front matter, David predicts: "I’ll bet that you will sometimes read a story again right away. I guarantee that you will come back to some of your favorites over and over... and recommend them to your friends."

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Satterlee
• Release date: Sep 22, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301929115

David Satterlee

David Satterlee has eclectic interests that drive the broad range of his work. His very human stories often explore developing relationships. His essays advocate for personal, family, community and societal growth. “[His writing is] humorous, bold, and adventurous all at once ... channeled through a facility for language and the music of words.” David writes to tease, teach, and entertain. He does not spoon-feed every detail but, like other good literature, leaves morsels on the table to be picked up, examined, chewed and savored.After retiring from a quarter-century of industrial control, computer and communications work in manufacturing and refining, David spent a decade as a consulting herbalist, and went on to manage media production for a Utah publisher. In all this time, He pursued a personal quest to understand why we think, believe, and act the way we do. He developed from a lay minister, through interests in meditation, natural healing, psychology, and philosophy. Now mobility and neurologically disabled, he reads, writes and hopes to make his part of the world a better place.David and Dianna live in a small, rural Iowa town deep in the middle of the middle of elsewhere. Despite being married, they are exceptionally-good friends. They recreate with cats, mostly, in a remodeled 1880s Workman's Victorian home right on Main Street. Dianna is a retired elementary school teacher with additional experience in library science, gifted/talented programs and music. She still gives music lessons and indulges a passion for writing and playing music "in the cracks." In their spare time, they entertain neighbors with their liberal and eccentric antics.

Book preview

Life Will Get You in the End:

Short Stories by David Satterlee

(by David Satterlee)

Copyright 2009-2013 David Satterlee.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

For permissions, write to: Wordsmith Services at the address below:

104 N Main St

PO Box 198

Dayton, IA 50530

Published by Wordsmith Services at Smashwords

July, 2013

Cover art: Life Moves

by Pedro Lujano, All Rights Reserved

Stained glass, painted glass, kiln-fused glass

and unique glass jewelry at MalinalliArt.com

Epub ISBN: 978-1301929115

This book is available in print at most online retailers.

Dedicated to: Dianna and the critters

They know where to find me … and how to bring me back.

Praise for David Satterlee and Life Will Get You in the End

[His writing is] humorous, bold, and adventurous all at once … channeled through a facility for language and the music of words.

Each story is short and sweet – or sometimes bittersweet – or just thought-provoking. You will often discover a surprise concluding twist that will get you in the end, and make you want to read the story again. Mark your favorites and share them with friends.

The author's range is amazing. Very human stories explore the extremes of life, loss, and love. David gives a stream-of-thought treatment to a love story involving elder-care; he presents a tale of xenophobic bullying in precise Dr. Seuss cadences; he explores gender relations and writes love poems. His engineering background provides technical credibility that will delight fans of hard science fiction. Some stories are about grown-up issues.

David has a sly sense of humor that enjoys irony, bad puns, and tongue-in-cheek allusions. He introduces several iconic characters: Bobby is a bad boy; he is immature and usually gets it in the end, one way or another. Fergus Johnson explores gender relations; he is emotionally intelligent and usually knows how live with women.

Also by David Satterlee

Chum for Thought (essays)

Building Your Network Business (self-improvement)

Honoring My Father: Coming to Terms (Memorium)

Follow the author at:

DavidSatterlee.blogspot.com

@DavidSatterlee

@ChumForThought

SocioDynamics.org

facebook.com/david.satterlee

Table of Contents

Introduction

Grandma’s Precious Things

Going to see Jesse

True Love’s Passion

Lust in the Morning

Starting a New Career

Oceans of Love

Sample Time

A Man of Letters

Colony Survey Review Report

I. H. T. F. P. (I Have Truly Found Paradise)

The Strange Kid

Thank you for your hospitality

The Nehushta Serpent

The Fondue Plot

The Two Heroes of Thompsonville

The Certain Rewards of Hard Work

The Hanging Offense

An Object of Urgency

Thoughts of Spring

Haiku of the Earth

A Small Collection of Cinquains

A Small Collection of Limericks

The Lament of Solomon

Social Capital

And They Shall be as One

You Must Love Thy Neighbor

I’m gonna sit right down and write my love a letter…

You Are So Beautiful

The Art of Seeing

Pogo Had it Right

If You Were Alone

The Pledge

Gathering Courage

No Ifs About It

Mother’s Favorite Brownie Recipe

A Litterer Goes to Court

Linda Takes a Shot at Marriage

The One That Got Away

Touching Women

Being Depressed

The Ugly Baby

Being True to the Best of What You Are

Allen Porter: Dayton Cowboy Comes Full Circle

A Marriage Made in Heaven

Everyone Takes a Test

How to Build a Joke

Analysis of the Creative Process

Tribal Family Values

Gratitude to the reader – and a request

Introduction

A writer doesn’t always know how something is going to come out when he starts. In fact, it’s a real rush to let a character or situation run loose and do something unexpected. So, this stuff is all over the map. With any luck, it should keep you off-balance and wondering what you’ll find next.

I have been told, by a long-time author, that my writing is humorous, bold, and adventurous all at once … channeled through a facility for language and the music of words. That was very kind. Thank you.

You should know that a few of these stories may not be for everyone. I occasionally take the liberty of using mild profanity, describing intimate situations, or introducing politically incorrect ideas. I can be a bit of a prude myself and, while I intend to be colorful and interesting, I do not intend to shock, offend, or arouse. I don’t believe that any of these stories are outside common community standards, but I thought that it should be mentioned up-front.

You will find a nurturing poem to read to a preschooler, several pieces on gender relations, and some science fiction. A lot of the stories are flash fiction with a twist — very short stories that deliberately lull you into a mood before dropping you on your head. Damn, that’s fun. I don’t know how to explain the piece on bullying that sounds like Dr. Seuss.

Some characters are iconic. Don’t assume that Fergus Johnson is always the same guy trying to figure out the same woman, or that Billie is always the same bad boy; he comes to too many unfortunate ends.

Okay, off you go. Have some fun. And, remember that life will get you in the end too.

DavidS

Grandma’s Precious Things

I wrote this poem in 2004 for a grandchild. You know who you are. And, you’re still welcome to visit at every opportunity!

I always love when Grandma comes

to visit with us here.

It's like a special holiday

to have my Grandma near.

I like it when she reads to me

while sitting on her lap.

I like it when she sings a song

to me before my nap.

And so one day I told my Mom

it didn't seem too fair

that Grandma only came to us

but we'd not visit there.

"Why can't we go to Grandma's house?

I really want to know.

I like when she comes over here

because I love her so."

My Mama looked real funny and

she sat me on a chair.

I wondered what was wrong that she

had made me sit right there.

She frowned again and looked at me

while thinking what to say.

I'm really glad she smiled at last

and talked to me that day.

"I know you love your Grandma and

I know she loves you too.

She loves to come and see us and

she loves to visit you.

"But Grandma's place is different than

our house where children play.

She has a lot of precious things

that you might hurt some day."

"You'll break her chickens made of glass

and all her precious things.

You'll tear the pages in her books

and try on all her rings.

"You'll run around your Grandma's house

and jump on all her chairs.

You'll slide on all her little rugs

and bump down all her stairs.

"You'll open all her closets up

and try on all her clothes.

You'll use her pretty table cloth

to wipe your drippy nose.

"You'll run around pretending that

you're flying in the air.

You'll make her yellow tabby cat

go hide beneath the chair."

It made me sad to think about

the things that mother said.

I almost felt like crying as

I laid there in my bed.

I really wouldn't want to break

my Grandma's precious stuff.

I only want to visit her

and wouldn't play too rough.

I'd only play with just the things

that Grandma let me touch.

I truly would be quiet there

and not make noise so much.

The rules are sometimes different when

you're in another place.

If only they would let me go

I wouldn't run and chase.

So when I woke tomorrow I

would tell my mother that

I promised to be careful and

leave stuff where it was at.

I'd try to be more thoughtful and

I'd walk instead of run.

I'd talk instead of shouting but

I still could have some fun.

I'd ask to see her pictures of

the places she had been.

I'd listen to her stories of

our family way back when.

And so it really happened that

we got into the car

and went to visit Grandma's house.

It wasn't very far.

My Grandma smiled and said that she

was glad that we were there.

She said that she had baked a batch

of cookies we could share.

I mostly looked but didn't touch

but that was really hard.

So once or twice they told me I

should go play in the yard.

When I came in I had to wipe

my feet upon a mat.

She let me jump from just two steps

and pet the yellow cat.

She told me stories of the time

when Mother had been small;

before the time that I was born

and wasn't here at all.

Of course she hugged and kissed me and

she told she would care

about how I was growing and

that I was welcome there.

She said that she had noticed that

I didn't tease the cat

and that I paid attention to

the place where I was at.

But you, she said, "mean more to me

than any fancy thing.

I'm grateful for your visit and

you make my old heart sing.

"I want you to remember though

that when the