A Heart's Dream

By Michael Anthony

A fictional tale of romance woven through the true life happenings of two childhood sweethearts, who reconnect after thirty years. In this modern era of instant communication and social media, it is easier than ever to find lost loves of the past. This is the story of how it affected my life, her life, and the lives of our families. The desires of the heart can be excruciatingly strong, and it is so easy to get lost in this drug. You can't ignore your heart's dream, so follow its desire at your own risk.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michael Anthony
• Release date: Jul 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311735218

Michael Anthony

Michael Anthony is an award-winning speaker and author. He's the cofounder of Courage Matters (CourageMatters.com) and co-creator of the Modivation Journal and the Invisible Bible Journal. He has served in pastoral ministry for nearly two decades and has been featured in major news outlets and publications, such as the New York Times, Fox, CNN, ABC News, CBS News, CBN, The Christian Post, Charisma News, and more. He considers his greatest accomplishments to be marrying his wife, Janet, and raising and enjoying life with their two sons, Titus and Simeon.

Book preview

Preface....

Someone once told me The heart knows what it wants. I'm beginning to believe that. When your heart finds what it wants... doesn't it let you know by pounding in your chest, and beating faster? Doesn't it ache when this person is away? Doesn't it hurt when they hurt, smile when they smile and isn't it happy when they are happy? As time goes on, doesn't it explode into a wonderful contentment?

How can you meet someone for the first time and they have your heart for as long as there remains a breath in your body? Are they your heart's dream?

Why do some people get to spend their lives with this person and others never find them? Still others find that person, are able to hold them, touch them, taste them, but fate never lets them be together? Is it retribution for deeds of past lives? Is it because they were not meant to be together and are being prepared for another? Is just a balancing act for the universe... ying, yang... black, white... good, evil... matter, anti-matter?

These writings, as well as the whole situation that inspired this from the beginning, still kind of amazes me. It was all so unintentional in my mind, but maybe my heart knew what it was doing. I never could have imagined it happening. The connection and attraction was so intense, that it really felt like there was a higher power at work.

The Hawaii Stories started as kind of an afterthought, and then escalated into something neither of us could have envisioned. As we had discussions and debates about content and direction, they started picking up steam and scope. The desires of our hearts came forth through pen and paper... or more accurately...through keyboards and screens as we poured everything out to each other.

Eventually things came to an end and in my efforts to deal with it, I ended up sharing a few of the stories. One of the persons I shared them with made an off the cuff comment that I should write a book. I'm obviously not a professional writer, but the more I thought about it, the more it started appealing to me. I desperately wanted to put all of this behind me, and move on with my life, but was having a very hard time achieving this. I decided that if I wrote a lot of this out, it might somehow get it out of my system.

So... here is what I came up with. The format is a bit out of the ordinary, but I'm hoping that whoever reads this, may find some way to wade through it. The original 17 days are here in their entirety. The emails and texts are also original, with misspellings and slang included. I still have them... not because I purposely kept them... I just never deleted them. Although kind of voyeuristic, I decided to include them because of their ability to convey the raw emotion of the situation. My hope is that whoever starts this, will read far enough to at least get it. Maybe it will give them food for thought in the event they are in such a situation or on the brink of embarking on a similar path.

Lastly... I know some people who read this will not have much sympathy for my plight. Believe me, I understand, as I too was raised to be a good person and always do what is right and honorable. However, not all of life is black and white in my opinion. I struggle every day to do what is right by society's standards and what is right in my heart. When you feel one thing but have to do another, is there not a lie in there somewhere?

Ninety-five percent of this is true and the other is... well... fiction... at least it is for now. Maybe it's just a dream that I still hold on to. I've heard that a dream is a wish the heart makes ... A Heart's Dream.

Chapter One

We don't pick who we fall in love with and it never happens like it should....

~ unknown

I met and fell in love with Kathy when I was five years old. Don't laugh... its true. My family had just built a new home across town, and we moved in a few weeks before starting first grade. As my friends and I were playing in the backyard, I could hear other screams and laughing coming from a yard a little ways down the alley. Since I was new to the neighborhood, I did not know who it was...nor did I go to investigate. We just continued to remain in the safe and newly comfortable confines of my new backyard. This strategy lasted for about a week until we figured out a fun new adventure. One of the yards backing up to the alley had tall trees along its fence line. We discovered it was great fun to walk along the top of this wire fence while holding on to the trees, pretending we were on some jungle adventure. The owner didn't see it that way and was not very happy, since we were bending the top of his fence and in some cases, causing the steeples to come out of the posts. One afternoon he came out and gave us a pretty good lecture about how he would call our parents if we continued with our jungle adventures. This really scared all of us, so we vowed not to ever do this again...which we didn't... for about two hours. It was just so much fun that we couldn't resist hopping back up on that fence. We were about three quarters of the way across his yard, when we heard him coming out of the back door. We scrambled to the end of the fence before he could get to us, and we hopped down into a new backyard, which seemed safe since there was a nice row of hedges between us and the mean old man. As I hit the ground and rolled, I ended up sitting on the grass with the source of the screams and laughter we had heard a few days before, staring at me. One was a young boy, about 3 years old, and the other was a beautiful girl about my age with green eyes and bright blond hair cut about shoulder length with bangs. They were both sitting on top of a large red brick BBQ pit with a tall chimney. As soon as I saw her, I was done. In my five long years, I had never seen anything as mesmerizing.

She was laughing as she asked us what we running from, and we immediately told her and her brother to hurry up and let's run to the other side of their yard, so we could get away from the man on the other side of the hedges. As we slowly caught our breath, we all introduced ourselves. She said her brother's name was Brian and she was... Kathy.

After meeting Kathy, I was pretty much done with my other friends. All I wanted to do was hang out with her, as her laugh, her eyes, and her smile, was almost more than I could handle at my young age. We usually played in her yard or her house. Hide-n-Seek and Tag were outside favorites, always using the brick BBQ pit as base, and listening to Disney albums or watching cartoons were inside favorites. Her mom was a very petite woman, with blond hair and freckles. She was always very nice and made us snacks as we watched TV or listened to the records. Her dad was a very big man... 6'4" or so. He used to scare the hell out of me. He would come home from work, sit in his chair, and let out a big bear yawn, while stretching out his arms. This would terrify me for some reason, which made it impossible for him to resist doing it countless times. Her mom would always laugh as she would get on to him for scaring me.

The fun filled days went on like this for the rest of the summer, and then eventually it was time for us to start a whole new chapter in our lives...First grade.

Hawaii... Day 1

I am in considerable pain as the white tips of your perfectly manicured nails dig into my hand. I am sure that blood cannot be far behind as you tighten your excitement induced grip on me. Your face is plastered against the window like a child against the glass of a mall pet shop. Your hazel/green eyes are straining to see their first glimpse of paradise, through the broken layers of white fluffy clouds. As our wide-bodied limousine slowly descends over the Kaiwi Channel between Oahu and Molokai, more and more of the Hawaiian Islands come into view. Passing the eastern tip of the island of Oahu, we make a slow turn to the west. Through the clouds you see fleeting shots of Koko Head, Diamond Head, and eventually Waikiki. Paralleling the southern coast, we descend through the last thin layer of clouds that have been obscuring paradise, like the veil over the face of a virgin bride...a bride that will soon be deflowered by the adrenalin drunk woman by my side. As Honolulu and Pearl Harbor slowly slip by, you are babbling a mile a minute, describing to me everything you are seeing. Continuing west, we then slowly make the turn back toward the airport, setting up for our final approach. The azure blue waters, bright sand beaches, and swaying palm trees, are now in easy view as we slowly drift over the house tops before hearing the rumble of the mains settling onto the runway. We taxi for a few minutes before finally pulling into the gate, your excitement building higher and higher... if that is possible. I grab our bags out of the overhead bin, and then move back as you finally are able to stand up and stretch your tall blond frame as you make your way into the aisle. The line cannot move fast enough as I too am getting excited about introducing you to this beautiful and mesmerizing corner of the world. As we stand impatiently waiting, I run my hands along your tempting body, softly kissing your exposed shoulders. I move your hair aside, kissing the back of your neck, and taking in your familiar bouquet. I guess I better keep this bag in front of me until things settle down.

We finally make it through the jetway and into the terminal. We exit the satellite terminal and are outside on the bridge which connects to the main one. The sun is bright and the breezes balmy, but comfortable. The air is filled with an interesting mix of the sweet smell of plumeria and the kerosene of the jet fuel.

There is no containing the smile that is stretched across your face. Your beautiful blond hair is flowing in the breeze and it gets stuck on our lips as you lean in and give me a kiss, christening this island.

Most flights connect through Honolulu and we have a few minutes to stretch our legs, before catching the Wiki Wiki to the inter-island terminal. There we will take Hawaiian Airlines to Lihue, on the island of Kauai. This will be the island where we will spend our first week of this unbelievable trip. It's a short flight... takes less than an hour.

As we make our approach into Lihue, it is almost a repeat of earlier in the day. Your excitement is almost more than you can take, although I do make it through it without shedding any blood. After landing, we make our way through the small open-air terminal and to baggage claim. As we are waiting, you have found a stand containing travel magazines of the island. You start thumbing through them and all I can hear is Oooh and Aaah as you are seeing advertisements for the endless opportunities for fun this island can provide. With our bags in hand, we move our luggage to the curb and set up a little camp. You continue to peruse the magazines as I head across the street to the rental car counters. After securing the paperwork, I catch a ride on their shuttle and am taken to the lot to pick up our car. It does not take long and I have found the car... a navy blue mustang convertible with a white top. Opening the door, I slide into the leather seats, as the new car smell invades my senses. I turn the key, and the machine comes to life with numerous chimes and bright displays on the dash. I unlatch the top and hit the button, watching the roof slowly disappear over my head. Seatbelt, music, and mirrors, and I am ready to go. I exit the lot and make the short trip back to the terminal to pick up the bags and my breathlessly beautiful lady. We hop in, and exit the airport ready to start this amazing adventure.

We drive north up the Kuhio highway. It's beautiful. The air is cool and you can see the ocean to the right and the mountains to the left. We stop in Kapaa at the Kauai Village. There we grab a basket and head into the Safeway store to pick up some items for the week. There is a small grocery store close to where we are going to be staying, but this larger store has a bigger selection and lower prices. Excitedly we stroll the aisles picking up breakfast items and stuff for picnic lunches. A few bottles of wine cap off our selections. With our purchases in hand, we make our way back to the car and then struggle to find room for the groceries along with all of our luggage, but we finally make it happen. I have one more quick stop for you, and that is at your very first ABC Store. These stores are like a combination between a convenience store and a souvenir shop. They have tons of different selections and very reasonable prices. Although this is your first visit, it definitely won't be your last.

Finally we leave and head to Princeville. We continue north all of the way past the mountain that looks like King Kong lying down. If you look at the picture, pay close attention to the mountain in the distance. You can see King Kong's forehead, nose, his open mouth, and his feet are facing left.

As we continue, you are mesmerized with the beauty of the coast and the waves as they crash along the black lava rocks and the powdery white sands.

After passing through Kilauea, the road turns west, and becomes increasingly more tropical.

After about a 45 minute drive, we arrive at Princeville. This is the resort area where we are staying.

We check in at the Makai Club condos. They are located on the Woods Course of the Makai Golf course.

The grounds are beautiful, with flowers, birds, and great views. You can see the mountains which have clouds hanging over them in one direction, and the ocean in the other direction.

After we get our bags put away, we freshen up to head into town. As I walk back into the bedroom, you are standing in front of the mirror brushing your hair. As I look at your reflection I am greeted with the best of both worlds. I see the face that has captivated my heart for most of my life, but also see the side of you that stirs me on a more primal level. I walk up behind you wrapping my arms around you. I can now see ourselves in the mirror and secretly wonder what you see in me. I move my lips to the right side of your neck as my hands find your breasts. I pull you close as I press my body tightly against yours. You let out that moan that melts my heart and then you spin around in my arms as you face me eye to eye. You give me that look of you are my world as you press your lips to mine, your tongue searching, and hands cupping the sides of my face. You gently push me back until I am sitting on the edge of the bed and then you proceed to crawl up and straddle me, rubbing your hips against mine. You rise up and quickly make work of the buttons on my shirt as I go for the belt buckle, snap, and zipper on your white capris. As I struggle out of my shirt you are kicking off your flip flops and then we make quick work of your red and pink floral print blouse and my khaki shorts and briefs. My deft fingers easily release the girls and I roll you over to remove the white lace panties which are between me and what I so desire. I engulf myself in your love before your panties ever hit the floor and you pull me close wrapping your legs around me. Instead of my hand, your white tipped nails have now targeted my back and shoulders as you thrust your tongue into my mouth. You ride hard against me and then pull me over onto my back as you again straddle me. You lean against my chest with your hands as your hair is falling all around your face. My hands again find your breasts as you move back and forth against me, giving me the gift of wave after wave of pleasure. As you keep moving back and forth, I am begging you to stop, as I am spent. You giggle as you keep moving, creating excruciating ecstasy for me. Finally relenting to my pleas, you collapse on top of me. After a few minutes in this heavenly afterglow, you struggle off me to search for your clothes so we can again get ready to go into town. It is all I can do to fight off the greatest of life's simple pleasures for a man... a little cat nap after wonderful sex.

Hanalei is a quaint town. It's so quiet and peaceful which is not hard to understand in this idyllic setting. It became a bit of a mecca for a lot of free spirit people in the 60s and one of its claims to fame is having the song Puff the Magic Dragon written about it.

We find a place to park and stroll down the street looking for the perfect place to have our first supper in Hawaii. We settle on Bubba's Burgers, and sit on the picnics tables in the cool island breeze. You can smell the flowers in the air and hear the breeze through the palm trees.

After finishing our burgers, we sit and talk about what has been an incredible day so far. You hold my hands across the table and your eyes and smile keep me mesmerized as I listen to your excitement. With the shadows getting long, we decide to go to sunset at Hanalei Bay. With your hand in mine, we make our way back to our car. I open your door and enjoy the show provided by your low cut blouse as you slide into the cool leather seats. The drive to Hanalei Bay is only a few blocks and we luckily find a parking spot in the quickly filling lot. It appears we are not the only ones who had this idea.

Hanalei Bay is a beautiful stretch of beach that was ranked #1 for romantic moonlight walks. We make our way from the car, to the soft powdery sands, and then onto the old concrete pier that has become a famous landmark. With my arm around you, we head to the end of the pier and have a good time watching a number of the local kids, climbing the old metal structure at the end, and diving into the cool clear waters. We wonder what it must be like to live and raise a family in such a place. A quick glance tells us that we have 5-10 minutes before the orange-glow of the sun touches the rapidly darkening blue of the Pacific. We head back toward the beach and make our way a few hundred yards down the beach, to a place that we have to ourselves. We sit in the cool, soft sand and prepare for one of nature's most incredible shows. With our toes digging into the powdery sands, we sit facing west, our bodies touching every chance they can get. I have my right hand on your left knee as you have my arm clamped between your legs and your left arm wrapped around mine. The warmth from the sun is in direct contrast with the coolness of the sand.

The sky is filling with millions of colors... almost impossible to describe. Pink, red, orange, violet, and gold... like the color of a pirate's treasure. The deep blues of the sea and the ever changing greens of the cloud shrouded mountains surrounding this bay. We listen to the soothing sound of the waves as they crash in a foamy heap onto the crystal sands. We sit quietly in the warmth of the sunset and each other, until nature pulls the curtain on another day.

After our first unbelievable sunset, we drive back to our condo. We struggle from our car and up the steps as the length and excitement of the day starts to take its toll. We make our way to the bathroom, and begin a nice soothing shower to take away any remaining stresses of the day. I lather your hair and slowly massage your shoulders as you gently melt against me. I spread the soapy foam across your body as you relax under my touch. Turning you around to face me, I rinse the shampoo from your hair and the soap from the rest of your body. I take you in my arms as softly place my lips to yours. I move my lips to your ear, whispering I love you as I hold you tightly in my arms. We stand in our embrace and relish the feeling of the warm rain as it pours on us.

With our shower finished, we step out to dry off and I retreat to the bedroom to find my silk boxers. I then head to the kitchen as I leave you in the bathroom, brushing out your beautiful blonde hair in the mirror. I rummage through the drawers of utensils looking for a corkscrew to unlock the spirits of the enticing bottle of merlot. With my search complete, I hear the welcome pop as the cork is released and the maroon color fills two long stem wine glasses. I pick up the glasses and take them out on the lanai, placing them on the small wicker table between two chairs. After taking a couple sips, I hear you ask, Is there any for me? As I turn around, I am greeted with a soft kiss as I take in your beautiful black lace negligee. If I looked up the word goddess in the dictionary, I'm sure it would have your picture there. You take your seat and your wine, and we sit and talk in the cool breezes of our little corner of paradise.

The waning moon is casting its soft glow as the soft trades rustle through the trees. The cool breeze is having an effect on your body... an effect that I am having a hard time ignoring as my eyes take in the view. As the soft moonlight reflects off your body, I can tell that sleep won't be coming anytime soon. Pouring the last of the wine, I set the bottle down as you stand, then step toward me and sit in my lap. You wrap your arms around me as you nuzzle my neck and softly breathe into my ear, getting an immediate reaction from deep inside me. You take my glass and have a sip, then press your lips to mine. The heat of your lips and the taste of the wine, explode in my senses. I slide my hands down your back to your bottom and pull you closer to me. I wrap my arms around you and hug you like there is no tomorrow. Our tongues are searching as your breathing becomes heavier and more labored. I grab your hair, pulling your head back, giving me access to your exquisite neck. I gently kiss and bite your neck, feeling the temperature of your skin immediately rise and flush. I slowly wriggle my way out from underneath you, setting you back into the chair. I part your long shaking legs, as I kneel between them, laying my head on your chest. I take my hands and gently squeeze your breast, as I gently bite your hardening nipple through the intoxicating black lace. Mmmm is all I hear as each breath becomes deeper and deeper. I slowly slide the straps of your gown, down your arms, eventually releasing your breasts to the cool night air. Your nipples are glistening from my gentle biting and licking, the cool air causing them to become deliciously elongated. I take both in my hands, kneading and pulling, as I get moan after moan of approval. I slowly work my down, as I take my hands and slowly work the bottom of your negligee up to your waste, revealing the heart of the matter. Running my fingertips along the length of your legs, I am softly planting kisses along the insides of your thighs. First up one side, across the middle, and then down the other... purposely avoiding your heaven in the middle. You are becoming more and more frantic as you endure the intensity of my persistent teasing. I eventually give in and run my tongue from the bottom to the top, circling your favorite spot, then gently sucking as you convulse around my tongue.

As you lay back, catching your breath, I continue to run my hands and fingertips along your legs, as I gently bathe your womanhood with my tongue and kisses. The soft light glows off your slick, glistening skin, leaving nothing of your breathtaking body to the imagination. I grab your hips, sliding your bottom closer to the edge of the chair, as I reposition myself, getting more comfortable as I still kneel between your legs. After giving you a few minutes to finally come back to your senses, I continue my feast on your sex. With my teasing a thing of the past, you are now writhing against my lips and tongue. You take your hands, opening your soul to me, as I dip further and further into your existence. Placing a couple fingers inside, I gently move them back and forth, as I continue