The Phantom of Pilberry Place

By Kevin P Pearson

The Phantom of Pilberry Place (13,100 words)
A fun, rather rude short story for kids around 10 plus. Schoolboy Sam Fisher has been pumping for years, but is unable to stop. Doctors cannot end his rare problem, which makes finding a girlfriend impossible. One day naughty Uncle Peter finds an old diary hinting of a lost magical village named Pilberry Place, rumoured to be home of a mysterious phantom and his incredibly powerful pumps. Perhaps Sam will find answers there? Sam is drawn into the world of pumps further when meeting the friendly phantom who shares very surprising news! Will Sam finally learn to control his pumps better and will he ever win back his one true love Violet Elizabeth?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kevin P Pearson
• Release date: Aug 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301603626

Kevin P Pearson

Kevin lives in sleepy Northumberland, England, in a small modified shed specifically designed to protect the environment. Due to sheer numbers of homeless folk invited in, he often stays outside. If it rains or grows too cold, he sleeps soundly under a big black bin bag, warmed down to his tiny toes knowing he’s helped others survive an increasingly harsh world.At 5am every morning he tours the countryside on a battered old scooter, selflessly helping senior citizens with shopping and saving innocent kids from burning buildings. Reading, writing, advising multinational companies on important building projects, exercising to Olympic standards and wild bouts of fibbing fill his days.Kevin wisely spends his spare time dreaming of marrying enchanting Kristin Kreuk of TV’s ‘Smallville’ fame. Perhaps if everyone prays for him his greatest wish may finally come true!

Book preview

The Phantom of Pilberry Place

By Kevin P Pearson

Text Copyright 2013 Kevin P Pearson

All Rights Reserved

Smashwords Edition

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‘Inspiring pumpers everywhere to follow their dreams!’

Acknowledgments

Many thanks to Katarzyna for her excellent cover picture of ‘The Phantom of Pilberry Place’

Judging by her drawing, it seems she’s visited Beasley’s famous phantom too!

To get in touch with Katarzyna regarding possible art projects, please contact her directly at the email address below.

Katarzyna Waszewska-Adamowska

LABARTE

Email: [e-mail]

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

The Phantom Pumper’s Guide to Professional Pumping

Chapter 1

Young Samuel Fisher only started pumping properly at the age of four. Like most of us back then, these pumps were uncontrollable, catching him completely by surprise. Being an intelligent child, by six he’d learnt to control them better, and by eight he could pump at will. Of course with boys at school this made him a living legend.

Unfortunately very few girls thought his habit clever, making finding a girlfriend quite, quite difficult. There was one once – a kind, bright girl by the name of Violet Elizabeth. Sadly, after only a day she announced she simply couldn’t be around a boy who pumped as much. Over the next year she often waved to him across the school yard, but always kept her distance.

On Sam’s seventh birthday his naughty Uncle Peter organised an annual pumping competition via the local paper. Mischievous Peter sensed an opportunity to annoy his wife Mabel, who hated pumping in all its forms, and help his talented nephew plan for the future. The grand prize was groceries for a year and a very smart hanging medal, which doubled as a wind chime.

Whilst mum didn’t really approve of Sam’s pumping, because times were hard for villagers in sleepy Beasley, she certainly wasn’t going to turn down free groceries. It would be fair to say she only tolerated his hobby. Like most boys, dad thought the situation hilarious. Dad wasn’t much good at pumping, despite being quite keen on the subject when he was young. Deep down he knew this kind of pumping was something really special and his child had been granted an exceedingly rare gift.

This was one of many reasons why Sam’s favourite Uncle Peter became his trainer. The clever man did his very best to ensure Sam ate fruit, veg and baked beans, followed by thick milkshakes. Eggs were to be avoided at all costs. Everyone knows why. Now aged ten, Sam could out pump most adults in England. So winning a friendly little competition each year was all too easy.

The only other professional pumper in England close to Sam’s standard was Big Dave Johnson from way down south. This twenty stone teenager who constantly ate rich, expensive chocolate could only ever manage four long pumps in a row, before becoming so terribly red faced his flustered mother had to march him to the changing rooms.

During a contest, while Uncle Peter egged Sam on, Aunt Mabel sat outside in the car, tutting loudly at pumpers and fans alike. Peter enjoyed popping out during intervals, telling her to try not to kick up too much of a stink.

Needless to say Sam had won the contest twice in a row, and such a wafty, windy show was getting more popular all the time. There were always many talented competitors, but none came close to Sam’s high