Paper Heart

By Karitsa Salwei

"I know hardship. It has never been hidden from my eyes. These eyes are grown."

Sophia, a proud graduate from high school moves away from her only home to live on her own. In a twist of fate she ends up living with four men. Aiden, Dakota, Kenji, and Xavier in there own way show compassion for Sophia. In no time she becomes friends with all of them but is it more than friendship that is formed? Tears are spilled and laughter is made in this teen drama about keeping a heart mended together even if it's made with paper.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Karitsa Salwei
• Release date: Jul 7, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301190560

Karitsa Salwei

My name is Karitsa and I’ve been writing since the age of 14. It has literally been my passion since I started. Over the years I’ve developed poetry and novels that I will be sharing on this website. I am also an assistant nurse and pharmacist technician which are my main job titles. I hope to one day be able to publish my work and to be successful. I have recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and have realized that I can’t do all the stuff I use to back when I was healthy. So I’ve been more proactive about my writing and paying more attention to it not just letting it sit. I’m new to smashwords. I didn’t even know of it existed. I’m still learning about formatting so please bare with me. I’m working on collecting some of my poems and making a book at the moment along with some of my other work. I’m excited to share my work with everyone.

Book preview

Paper Heart

Published by:

Karitsa Salwei at Smashwords

Copyright 2009

ISBN: 9781301190560

Smashwords Edition, Licensing Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author

Chapter 1

After high school I was in a loss with what to do with my life. To be honest, I still don’t know. I couldn’t stand the uncertainty of life and didn’t know what kind of path I would take. Life in itself was bothersome.

All of my friends I’ve shared memorable moments in school with were going in separate paths and it pained me. I wasn’t going to see them again. They were going to be living their lives without me in their thoughts. But once I thought more about it I felt at peace.

After all, it was another bridge I had to cross. The bridge that declares I was no longer a child and had to make decisions that may twist my density for better or worst. Life was all about moving forward rather than dwelling on past memories. In my mind and heart, I decided to move forward to prepare for the new journey ahead of me.

I was being forced to go to college and I wasn’t too thrilled about it. My mom wouldn’t discuss the issue anymore which meant the decision was finalized.

I was going to be the first person in my family to go to college. My family is made of factory workers and homemakers. Mom had me at a young age and missed out on the opportunity because she had to work plus take care of me. Dad didn’t go for the same reasons. He had to provide for his family and take responsibility like a grown adult.

My parents didn’t have the luxury of wealth. They had to work for everything we had. I knew this very well because it wasn’t hidden from my eyes. We had to go to church to get handouts on the regular bases and the Salvation Army was a familiar red shield to me.

I can still remember a young mom looking so hurt that she had to go to food shelters. I couldn’t understand why she was so bothered. I didn’t think it was a problem.

Even when kids at school made fun of my clothing and shunned me socially, I never blamed my parents. I lived without having anything of my own because in my mind I’d rather eat than look like I had money. It was hard to say, maybe it’s because when you don’t have anything you tend to live off nothing and if you have materials you can’t bear without them when they’re ripped away.

People are funny that way, they try to say they have strength but what happens when there most prized possession like a car or cell phone is no longer theirs? How pathetic, this human race is letting materials surpass family and friends.

I lay on my bed thinking about multiple things. First, I thought where my life was heading. I was going to school to become a nurse, but in my heart it wasn’t my passion. My family wanted me to go to college, but they didn’t listen to my reasoning so I was pushed to go. I had to rack my brain of what I should excel in. I couldn’t just go to college blindly like everyone else because my mom wanted proof I wasn’t wasting my time. I basically blurted out nursing to get her off my back.

She made me feel as if I had to decide my life right then and there. The whole thing was bothersome, we had many fights about this topic and sometimes I didn’t come home at all. What was the point of coming home when you knew your mother would say hurtful comments and look at you in disapproval? I couldn’t stand it, she made me feel so little and insignificant.

I mean I could take that patronizing stare from some random guy on the street, but when it comes from a family member you love it rips you at the seams. I literally have been getting a stress disorder from all of this. My bones ache. I swear I’ll be an old hag within the next six months.

I flipped over on to my stomach smashing my face into my red pillow hoping to suffocate myself. Wow, maybe I should consider taking my antidepressants again. I’m starting to have suicide thoughts, but what’s the point? The medication didn’t make my pain go away. The only reason it exist is to suck us dry of what little money we do have.

It was funny when my counselor totally butted into my life and told my parents to take immediate action in my mental health. I knew I had problems. I’ve had them at a young age. Was it because of my family’s situation? I can’t tell, but I knew I didn’t feel normal, but then again what is normal in a human’s psyche? Before I could reflect on my childhood a knock was at the door.

Have you finished packing Sofia? asked mom as she entered my room.

I looked at her. She seemed to be glad to get rid of me. She sure has been on my ass to finish packing since I graduated.

Yeah, I just finished the last box. I said as I stood up.

Mom only smiled. I haven’t seen her happy in awhile, probably ever since I told her I was accepted into a well rounded college. She practically jumped off the couch with the news and now I stood in front of her ready to make the next step in my adventure.

I guess I’ll start packing up my truck. I began to walk out of my room until my mom grabbed my hand. In one motion she took a hold of me.

I’m very proud of you. I’m sorry if I’ve been extremely hard on you, but you know the reason why.

I shook my head. I knew the reason all too well. She wanted me to succeed so I could avoid her faults. I gripped her tighter. She could have took the easy way out and abort me, but she went through with the pregnancy and with the challenges that came with it.

I’m just so uncertain about everything, I want to believe I can better myself but-.

Tears came to my eyes. I felt like a child again who was going to school for the first time. I hated this feeling.

My sweetheart you’ll do just fine, believe in yourself. she said as she wiped away my tears. She let go of me and looked into my eyes.

You’re growing up so fast. I swear it was just yesterday when I had you. I was so terrified back then, but I know you won’t make the same problems for yourself.

I didn’t know how to reply to this. I wish I could promise her I wasn’t going to make mistakes, but in reality we all make mistakes. I just want to make her proud. I want to have a valid career, but I still feel lost.

I’m sorry, but I can’t go to the college with you, I got called in to work and you know I can’t miss out on any spare hours. she said as she patted my back.

She never took time off for no reason. With the struggling economy she worked harder than ever. Dad also was hurting at the shop in town. He works at a hardware store, but thanks to the new Home Depot business has been nonexistent.

Yeah it’s no problem, I understand.

I won’t say her not coming with me didn’t hurt me. I’ll probably be the only kid without a parent gawking at the campus and my room, but it’s not like my opinion matters.

I took one of the boxes and headed downstairs to the garage to my vehicle. I drove an old Ford truck and when I say old, I mean 70s vintage with the scent of pot I can’t get rid of. The orange paint was practically peeling off when my dad presented it to me on my sixteenth birthday. But no matter what its flaws, I was blessed for my dad to go out of his way to get me a vehicle.

I threw the box in the back and went to receive more. The only possession’s I was taking with was my books, DVDs, posters, and of course clothing. When I took my last box I looked at my room. It had been stripped bare of the things that use to make it look whole. I closed the door; I’ve never seen it this way. I didn’t want to see it anytime soon.

As I finished packing all my boxes tightly in the pack of the pickup I sat in the front seat ready to burst into tears. I couldn’t recall why I was sad. I use to get this way multiple times. I would break down into tears not knowing the real reason. I dried my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt as I put the keys into the ignition.

My life was changing quickly and I didn’t know where my destiny will end up. Maybe it’s just me, but I always want to know what happens. It’s like this Global Warning thing I keep hearing about. I want facts, not Al Gore talking hours on end about polar bears dying out and ice caps melting.

I turned my keys to rev up my gas taker. I promised mom I’d go to college, but in the end it will be up to me what I want to achieve. I’m not going to live under her microscope anymore. I know she means well, but she can’t run my life or protect me from the mistakes I’m surely going to make.

I backed out of the garage and on to the street. I switched my gear into drive as I drove away from the only home I knew.

Chapter 2

The drive was a flash of forty-five minutes. I wanted to go at least a state away just so I could be free of my mom’s eyes, but of course I wasn’t able to swing that. I guess I do give her a lot of crap, but I desire freedom. The drive was soothing as I cracked up some jazz music. I opened my window as the wind rippled through my hair.

The freedom soaked my skin. All of the endless nights up studying my ass off had paid off in a good way.

As I parked I grabbed one of my boxes and headed toward my room. I had to go up six flights of stairs which made me realize how out of shape I was, but I finally made it. My room number was 234. As I opened my door I was greeted by two blond chicks. They both looked at me puzzled as one of them was setting up their corner with posters and the other one was watching MTV, The Real Life. Geez, how many Real Life’s have they had?

You must be a freshman, are you lost? asked the one watching TV.

She had brown eyes and orange skin. I have no problem with albino people who want to look like people in Cosmo magazine, but at least look as natural as possible. Don’t go and bake yourself in ultraviolet rays in a tanning salon. You’ll do nothing, but make yourself into a raisin or worse, give yourself skin cancer. Apparently girls are willingly to do whatever it takes to perceive the look of beauty.

And what was her deal talking to me as if I’m a child? She didn’t have to be rude. But as always I had to be the adult and introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Sofia. I grabbed my room information out of my pocket.

My room is supposed to be 234.

They both looked at me. I could tell they didn’t care, the expression was written on their faces. The girl who was watching TV got up from her bed.

My name is Ashley and I’m a junior so I wouldn’t know about your room situation.

The other girl stopped what she’s doing and dug in her pocket.

There must have been a mix up. I have the same room number as well. You should probably go to the office and figure it out. Oh and my name is Michelle.

I nodded as I left the room. What the hell. If she was so concerned about it shouldn’t she come with me? That bitch has already made her nest; apparently she doesn’t want to leave it. What am I going to do? Who knows maybe I could find another room. Hell, I’ll live in a broom closet so I could be on my own.

As I entered the office the secretary greeted me with a smile which was a nice change considering the twin bitches.

Excuse me, but my room number 234 has two students in them."

I gave her my slip as she looked on her computer. I stared outside the window. Why do all these misfortunes happen to me? All I ask is to go to college like any normal girl, but no; all of my hopes have to be taken away like always. I crossed my fingers in my pocket hoping I could find a room.

I’m so sorry, but there must have been a mix up. Michelle Jamieson did have first pick on the room because she joined before you did. Let me check if I can find you one.

The secretary fiddled some more on the computer while I watched. Do they always have errors like this? I guess it would make sense this school is big, but I don’t get why they didn’t notice this. Don’t they check and recheck the rooms to make sure someone (like me) has a place to lay their head?

The lady looked back to me with a frown. I knew what she was going to say, why does my life suck this much?

I’m sorry, but there are no rooms at this time. Maybe around semester time someone will drop out and you can get their room.

My heart sunk. What was I going to do? No way in hell I’m going back home. Mom was already planning to make my room into a study. They were even going to get a new computer and new furniture. I can’t go home and rain on their parade.

As I began to walk away the secretary stopped me with her words.

In the cafeteria, there is a huge bulletin board for places for rent. Most people room with three or more people, but I think it’s the best way to go because you have more room. You should check it out and oh your money for your room and board will be mailed back to you as soon as possible.

Wait. This might just work. I don’t have much cash right now, but if I could get a hold of the money I set aside for my board there are possibilities. I just have to find a place for reasonable rent and get started on looking for a job once again.

I went to the cafeteria in search of the bulletin board. Once I found it I took the filers randomly. Since I was in a room full of food I got some pizza and breadsticks. I haven’t had anything to eat the whole day and it was starting to show because of how irritable I’ve been. With food and files at hand, I start my search for a place to live.

All the places I looked at were dirty. The yards looked gross and I honestly couldn’t see myself living in any of these homes. I ended up turning down all the homes until I found one that caught my eye.

The home was breathtaking, the bushes were neatly trimmed plus flowers that have been tended to had vibrant colors. The house was huge, it had three stories and looked like an older home, but it had been maintained. The home looked freshly painted with jade green and cream colored shutters. I gasped, this was it. This home was in a league of its own and I must have it.

I read the info on it. It said there were four tenants who already lived there, but they were looking for a fifth