Transcripts from the Other Side

By DKW

Today is Bill's lucky day: he's dead.

But his initiation into the bureaucracy of Heaven is interrupted by an unfortunate case of divine identity theft and a battle against the forces of ambiguity.

Transcripts series
Part 1, Transcripts from the Other Side
Part 2, Heaven: The Beta-test
Part 3, Hell: Under New Management
Part 4, All the Thyme in the World
Part 5, Coming soon

• Language: English
• Publisher: DKW
• Release date: Jul 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301411580

DKW

.

Book preview

Transcripts from the Other Side

Part 1 in the Transcripts series.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel. And it was a flamethrower.

-Terry Pratchett, Mort

Chapter 1

This is it, Bill thought. After his service on the Earthly sphere, Bill knew that it was his time to go to Heaven. It would have been nice to see the Super Bowl tomorrow, but…He peered longingly through the dark tunnel. The light on the other side glittered brightly, beckoning him onward like a moth to the flame. With a face-swallowing grin that would put Mr. Potato Head to shame, Bill floated upward through the tunnel, waiting peacefully for God’s embrace to carry him through the void.

Bill had been a man of virtue for his entire life. He loved his family, and they often loved him back. He worked hard at the Factory, and made a point to put canned soup in the grocery store’s charity bin whenever he could remember. He’d stolen from a restaurant once in his life when he was twelve, confessed immediately, and spent the afternoon scrubbing dishes by his own volition. Once, Bill lied in a dream, though at the time he referred to it as a nightmare. In short, minus his fast food habit and penchant for celebrity gossip magazines, Bill was a model citizen. And it’s all paid off. Bill could hardly contain his excitement. Soon, he would be in Heaven. It was real all along. Even after all those people doubted. Soon, he would be reunited with his mother, father, and uncle. Bill had led a good life, but now it was his turn to enter the other side.

The tunnel entrance was upon him now, the radiant light nearly blinding him. Bill shut his eyes and felt the warmth, the pure love. With a power not his own, he floated downwards and felt himself standing on a soft surface. Can it be true? Is Heaven really in the clouds? Bill opened his eyes slowly as they adjusted to the light. He looked down to see that he was not standing amongst the clouds, but on grass; specifically Agrostis palustris, or ordinary yard grass. Bill contained his disappointment with a shrug; the true Heaven is just ahead. Bill looked around for the angel who would judge him; the angel who would see his name written in God’s hand, and invite him into the