99 Lessons for my Teenage Son

By Pastor Donte Banks

As I was driving home from work one day I had a familiar tune in my head... An extremely popular rap song at the time, it had been playing on the radio at my job, and I simply could not shake the melody of the chorus. During this time, I had been praying to God about my Sons. My eldest was about to turn 15, my youngest, 12, and although they were –and are– great children, I knew that they were passing the age-of-influence. At least, passing the ages where I would be the singular male influence in their lives.
They were increasingly captivated by outside influences like school, TV, and MUSIC. Particularly, songs like the one I couldn’t get out of my head.
I prayed, “God give me a way to communicate values and lessons to them that —like this song— could echo over and over in their minds. Give me a vehicle that I can use to convey the ideas they will need to become good men. Give me something that they can access ANYTIME, even the times —Lord forbid— when I am not around.”
With that song still knocking around in my head, God gave me 99 Lessons for My Teenage Son.
#99Lessons started out as a REMINDER list, but over the past two and a half years it has GROWN into something that I thought would bless more than just my children... More than just me! Honestly, These lessons have affected every part of my life and reminded me what it means to be a man. This book is a holistic complement to that process. I pray that it blesses you to read it, as much as it has blessed me to write it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pastor Donte Banks
• Release date: Jun 6, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301240470

Pastor Donte Banks

Pastor Donte Banks is an Ordained Pastor and Worship Leader from San Antonio TX. His approach to delivering God’s word in a way that is simple, concise, anointed, and relevant as well as his heart for worship has made him a sought after teacher and worship leader in his city. Despite a rigorous childhood weighted with drug and alcohol abuse by both his parents and becoming a father at a very young age, God’s Plan prevailed and a testimony of triumph and victory stands in the place where fear, doubt, defeat, and unbelief used to reside. Pastor Donte is also an accomplished songwriter, musical director, published poet. As well as a certified IT Specialist and Web Designer. However, he would say that his greatest titles are Husband to his Wife and Father to his sons. He says, “The major difference between Boys and Men is not so much the battles they've fought but, the LESSONS they've learned.” And Every Lesson is a Blessing! PD

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Preface

As I was driving home from work one day I had a familiar tune in my head… An extremely popular rap song at the time, it had been playing on the radio at my job, and I simply could not shake the melody of the chorus. During this time, I had been praying to God about my Sons. My eldest was about to turn 15, my youngest, 12, and although they were –and are– great children, I knew that they were passing the age-of-influence. At least, passing the ages where I would be the singular male influence in their lives.

They were increasingly captivated by outside influences like school, TV, and MUSIC. Particularly, songs like the one I couldn’t get out of my head.

I prayed, "God give me a way to communicate values and lessons to them that —like this song— could echo over and over in their minds. Give me a vehicle that I can use to convey the ideas they will need to become good men. Give me something that they can access ANYTIME, even the times —Lord forbid— when I am not around."

With that song still knocking around in my head, God gave me 99 Lessons for My Teenage Son.

#99Lessons started out as a REMINDER list, but over the past two and a half years it has GROWN into something that I thought would bless more than just my children... More than just me! Honestly, These lessons have affected every part of my life and reminded me what it means to be a man. This book is a holistic complement to that process. I pray that it blesses you to read it, as much as it has blessed me to write it.

This book is dedicated to my HEROES

DB & Von

You are THE REASONS!

I Love YOU!

I am Proud of YOU!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

…and GREATER WORKS shall YOU DO!

Love,

Dad

LESSONS On INTEGRITY

Lesson #1: Be JELL–O

There is something about that guy!

Yes, I said it… BE JELL–O. JELL–O has the delightful property of being able to mold or morph to fit in its environment without changing its substance. It fits in on the outside without changing what is on the inside.

If you show up at a golf course in Vermont or a ski slope in Colorado, you should be the same YOU on the inside as if you showed up to a borough in New York or the 4th Ward in Houston, TX. Be able to fit in, in a way that doesn't judge, doesn't offend and doesn't make one uncomfortable. Master an understanding of the culture but, do it in such a way that people say "That guy is special!, Or There is something different about him! This is because it is the SUBSTANCE on the inside of you that the flavor" comes from. Whatever is on the inside of you will always come to the surface. There is no way to hide that. But be confident enough to be that while being humble enough to identify with everyone else.

Some might say that is Anti–Bible, quoting scriptures like:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind… (Romans 12:2)

I am not asking you to conform, however, I am asking you to be flexible in a world of inflexible people. Jesus looked like everyone else. He went to parties and to church. He taught in fields and in synagogues. The Bible said He was friends with sinners and publicans. Luke 7:34 However, the bible speaks about him OFTEN having conversations with the highest participants of the Jewish Counsel of Elders (The Sanhedrin).

Jesus was able to FIT in all those situations and be effective because of what was on the inside of him. And that same power lives on the inside of YOU!

Lesson #2: Be careful who you let speak into your life.

When people speak to you, they are not just speaking to you NOW. They are speaking to who you COULD be in the future. They are not just talking to you NOW! They are speaking to your potential. Be careful about the way you let people deal with your potential. Condescending words from spiritually bound people in your circle can handcuff your potential. They can make you feel like you are bound because, THEY are bound. And bondage of the mind is the worst kind of bondage there is. It says,

I can't be who or what I want to be. I have to fit in to the box that those thoughts and ideas have formed for me.

This is crippling to the whole idea of freedom. The words that have been spoken into your life by people you love can have a permanent and lasting effect.

Lesson #3: Tell the TRUTH!

There is not a more fundamental lesson on integrity than this one. An honest person —aside from being a rarity— is a person who is integral, and through that integrity, creates a basis of trust in relationships, friendships, partnerships, and any other kind of ship, that can be life altering.

The Bible calls Satan (or the devil) the Father of Lies and ultimately assumes all evil begins at the point of dishonesty (John 8:44). It also refers to God as The WAY, The TRUTH, and The LIGHT(John 14:6). People will often characterize you (and your FATHER) based on attributes you have that resemble one another. SELAH!

Lesson #4: Know your Place

There is a story in the Bible in which a young centurion soldier comes to Jesus for help. The young warrior says the following unique statement:

...for this reason I did not even consider myself worthy to come to You, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I also am a man placed under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it.

(Luke 7:7-8)

The thing that makes this statement unique is that the centurion was a fierce and valiant warrior, a leader of at least 100 men, and a Roman citizen, which, in that culture meant that he saw Jews such as Jesus as a lower class of citizens. But he recognized authority in Jesus. He clearly describes the only reason he recognizes that authority, which is because he is himself, under authority! This extraordinary young leader understood two simple facts.

Authority can only be GIVEN. It can never be taken.

Only a person who has ever been given authority