Incomplete.net: Stick Figure Art 2004-2007

By Jonathan Land

EVEN MORE Stick figure art as featured on incomplete.net. Beginning in 1998, world-famous stick figure artist Jonathan Land began posting daily works of art for his viewing public. Now almost 400 pieces of the best of his sublime and evocative work have been compiled for this coffee table book. Volume 2 of 2.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jonathan Land
• Release date: Apr 9, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301661282

Jonathan Land

Jonathan Land has worn out many hats and much welcome over the years. He grew up in New York City and could frequently be found at ungodly hours of his formative high school period at either WBAI-FM as an Arts Department producer, composer, and timid on-air personality or at CBGBs as your garden variety delinquent teen. Jonathan Land graduated from Hampshire College in 1997, majoring in the highly unprofitable fields of mathematics and music. He's incorporated both into an overly ambitious 4.5 hour composition on the net which has sadly been burned. He's spent the intervening time as a web developer, a stick figure artist (not a joke, see http://incomplete.net/ for details), and a member of the experimental musical group Negativland, which specializes in making art that goofs on the media whenever possible. He's made appearances on an E.P. with one-hit wonders (in America, at least) Chumbawamba, and on a compilation of reworked pieces from Fiddler on the Roof for Knitting Factory Works records. Jonathan Land currently resides in Northern New Jersey with his wife and infant twin daughters. He currently receives about 30-50 spams a day and would be the wealthiest man in Nigeria if only he could manage to take his business transactions seriously.

Book preview

Chapter 1

2004 (Part 2)

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: process printed labels, printed bags and packaging (Page 1) (07/01/2004)

What my book will lack in true artistic vision it will make up in durability and heft. Every page will be laminated, and somehow weighed down. Thick, thick paper like a children's book, but it would need to be child-proof, because of the content, so if each page is too heavy for a child to lift, that would be a plus, but I guess that's a bit unrealistic.

The Spam Letters - The Book

See http://thespamletters.com for more info.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: Don't lose your remote cotrol again! (Page 10) (07/02/2004)

I'm a prison guard in Jessup. MD, and when the inmates in my block get their allotted tv time, they've taken to playing a new game that they refer to as Pass the Remote. The idea of the game is to swallow the tv's remote control, and keep it in their digestive system for as long as possible. Everyone gets a turn, and whoever takes the longest to Pass the Remote wins a pack of cigarettes from everybody else.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: At Last, Herbal V, the All Natural Alternative is Available! (Page 12) (07/03/2004)

You should really pay more attention who you send your advertising to. I am a 17-year-old college student, who, as any average 17-year-old male could tell you, is erect more often than not. If a butterfly flaps it's wings in China, I guarantee you, there isn't an atomic clock that can accurately measure the speed in which I will pitch a tent.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: Take Pringles' Spicy Quiz! (Page 16) (07/04/2004)

I don't know if you're aware of this, but Latina women pride themselves in being Hot and Spicy, and Hot Tamales, and Spicy-a Meat-a-balls, and all that, so needless to say, she's quite upset that your test is claiming that she's not as hot as she's accustomed to.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

My Buddy Kutty (Page 28) (07/05/2004)

For the adult men's and women's clothing, PLEASE make sure that there's a little extra room in the seat/crotch of the pants. My experience in the inner-city clothing industry has taught me one thing: Know your customer's fat ass.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Help Unwanted (Page 37) (07/06/2004)

When I find the person in Human Resources who leaked this info, he better start praying to my God and all of yours that the batteries on my tazer go dead. Don't they understand protocol and workplace ethics anymore?

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: Dear JONATHAN, Pizza Hut asks you (Page 60) (07/07/2004)

Hey everybody, I'm a Pizza Hut Valued Customer! WOOOOOO!!!! Hey look, I've reached my 400th pound, yet I can barely see the confetti and balloons drop because of my diabetes-induced vision problems! What an honor! Give me special offers, because I'm fat, and I'm lazy, and I don't even have to leave the house to get people over here so they can drive the Brinks truck of calories up to my door.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: Special Character Costume Source; discount Magic Supply source (Page 61) (07/08/2004)

Hey, do you have any classic 2-person horse costumes? It involves a search and rescue mission of a set of golf clubs from my neighbor, Troy's ranch. I've been bugging him about getting them for 10 years now! I can't get them back, so it's time to put my Navy Seal experience to some good. Me and and a buddy need the costume so we can graze and frolic and whatnot at Troy's gate.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: U.S. Immigration Online (Page 67) (07/09/2004)

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of the September 11th attacks, the government in cahoots with international media outlets will be announcing the unveiling of the top secret city of Fauxville, New Mexico. It's the new Greatest City in America. It will be stronger economically than New York, more entertaining than Los Angeles, will replace Washington DC as our nation's political and military center of operations, and be a greater display of excess than Las Vegas and its surrounding moral all fly zone.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: The big ONE! (Page 76) (07/10/2004)

My name is Jonathan Land and I'm the host of an upcoming special on the Discovery Channel called: Jonathan Land, Earthquake Hunter. I'm a professional seismologist who's out there looking for THE BIG ONE. Actually the show is called The Big One: Seis Does Matter. I know. When we ran the title past the board, we got seis and gasps.

Feature: The Spam Letters Book Tie-In

Re: Swim with the dolphins 3693 (Page 87) (07/11/2004)

Swim with the dolphins? Excellent. You must be the guy Little Stevie told me about. I thank you for your discrete method of contacting me. I hope that my drawing attention to this discretion in no way indicates something secretive and code-like that any government agency that might or might not be intercepting this e-mail would call into question.

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