Tech Amok

By Budly

Costing less than a latte. . . (hopefully) lasting longer. . . and LOL funny. . . Tech Amok is anecdotes about the use, misuse and abuse of technology by people of all ages and illustrates that the ability to afford the latest gadgets, gizmos and widgets has no bearing on the owner's ability to use or understand them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Budly
• Release date: Apr 3, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301394708

Budly

Not much, and little that's positive. As a child, Budly redefined the word, colicky, and grew up to be allergic to events requiring public parking.

Book preview

Tech Amok

By Budly

Copyright 2013, Bud Freund

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Dedicated to. . .

My family for putting up with all of my mishagoss

Cathy for keeping it going

Fredd for being the alter ego

Michael for laughing

Dave for editing

Tom for mentoring

. . . and of course I’d like to thank the members of the academy

. . . oops, wrong venue.

Table Of Contents

Pre – Ramble

Preface

Jerry, where's the start button?

The Electronic Toothbrush

The New Bourgeois

Swing From A Chandelier

Upgrade The Download Staircase

The Retracting Dog Leash

Social Engineering

seven

UnSocial Networking

The Cellphone Paperweight

Out Of Ink

Fax

The New Slogan

(In Your) Facebook

Dobie

Muggles Are Better Than Pebcaks

Bending Time And Space

Meant Tentacles

Done

The Case For A Keyboard

Nav

Email Etiquette

Subject: Need computer help

Clouds are bad. Online is good

Green Windex

Arrogant, Belligerent and Wrong

Green, Green, Green

Budly’s Best URL’s

Got questions?

Pre – Ramble"

This book was written at my SCORE mentor’s suggestion. Being the geek that I am, he thought I should try my hand at a How to manual. . . the thought of which in a traditional style was just not going to come out of my keyboard.

So these writings evolved over time. An idea would go onto the phone – sometimes autobiographical, sometimes triggered by current events. Then while waiting for my kids at an activity (yes, I am a terrible parent. I do not watch every swing of the tennis racquet) or between appointments, I'd start tapping it out on my phone, or netbook or tablet.

It was suggested to me that this book be written with a specific group or audience in mind, If I were coerced, I would have to say that the target audience is people who have directly experienced (or seen other people experiencing) frustration with technology and understand enough about technology and how it is overtaking our world to laugh about it. . . and if you learn something in the process, all the better. In short, the target audience is people who like edutainment.

Some of this stuff actually happened. Some is made-up. In either case, I hope it's good for a giggle.

Preface

This is a first (self) published piece. . . and hopefully not the last.

It is deliberately priced less than a latte, and unless you’re one of those enormously irritating speed readers, should last longer.

Thanks to technology, all of those rejection letters and unreturned phone calls can be avoided. Agents, reps and all those really, really smart people who know just what the public wants (and it’s ALWAYS not what you’re offering); can now be circumvented.

A quick sidebar to drive home the point. . .

A college roommate of mine went to work for a GREAT studio photographer in New York. The photographer had a rep to carry his portfolio around to ad agencies looking for work. Then the phone call would come. . .

That was a great shot of a lamb chop you did. We’ve got to do a campaign for pork chops. If you don’t have any pictures of pork chops to show, we can’t give you the job.

WTF?

So. . .

Write it. . .

Put it out there. . .

and let the public decide if it likes it or not.

In short, use technology to buoy your ego.

. . . but you knew that, because you’re reading this on the latest and greatest piece of hardware available to mankind – which required yet another software upgrade. . . for ONLY $29.99.

. . . and those upgrades will never end.

Technology is an amazing part of life. It allows us to find the places we’re driving to. . . talk to people (who aren’t in the car) while we’re driving there. . . listen to music along the way. . . and let your kids watch a movie so the trip can be somewhat peaceful.

All good stuff.

Until something goes terribly awry. . .

A battery dies.

The headphones are missing.

The wire for charging the DVD player was left at home.

Share? You should have charged yours before we left.

MOM!!! She’s not letting me watch the movie!!!

Siri is giving you tsurus.

And so begins the decline into that ugly state–of–mind where we feel incomplete without our digital appendage.

Should we?

Will the planet stop orbiting the sun if you can’t send that REALLY, REALLY important text message that says, LOL OMG!?

Doubtful.

In 1951 – well before our current "technologically advanced era – Ray Bradbury wrote a prophetic short story called, The Murderer". It’s a story about a man who kills electronic devices in search of some peace and quiet.

While the following stories in no way, shape, manner or form measure up to Bradbury’s, they do provide a