Crystal Ball Cameos

By Leo Madigan

Crystal Ball Cameos is a collection of 21 verses which take as their premise which is retrospective rather than foreseeing. Characters from near or ancient history appear, none of them known to posterity, but usually with some connection with famous figures. Schopenhauer's charlady for instance, and King Croesus' accountant. Napoleon's psycho-analyst is here too, along with Lucrezia Borgia's confessor and Vlad the Impaler's Aunt Immacula. Certain historical and literary conundrums are solved, such as whether or not hieroglyphics employed the letter 'w' (see Cleopatra's chiropodist) and the identities of the Mr W. H. of Shakespeare’s sonnets and the Unknown Soldier. Superman, Batman and Spiderman have a brother who missed the limelight as did two Saxon sailors who believe they started the Hundred years War. The Mayor of Sodom has a verse to himself as do Goliath’s batman and a number of others among whom is the beggar with whom St Martin shared cloak:
Who’s that banging in the night,
My bones a mess, my shroud a sight?
It’s not good manners interrupting
Cadavers quietly corrupting.

Originally conceived as audition pieces for actors, these verses would not be out of places alongside Belloc’s Cautionary Tales and Don Marquis’ archy and metitabel.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Leo Madigan
• Release date: Mar 17, 2013
• ISBN: 9789898564085

Leo Madigan

Born in New Zealand. Joined the British Merchant Navy at 16. Graduated with B.Ed from London University and taught High School in London and Izmir, Turkey.Currently lives in Fatima, Portugal.

Book preview

Crystal Ball Cameos

Encounters with Second Fiddles

Leo Madigan

Published by Leo Madigan at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Leo Madigan

For Charley Apperley

These verses were originally conceived

as audition pieces for actors

Contents:

1. Encounter the Ball

2. Schopenhauer's Char

3. Bog Man.

4. Cleopatra's Chiropodist

5. King Croesus' Accountant

6. Bucko & Oppo

7. Goliath's Batman

8. An Insignificant Demon

9. Lucrezia Borgia’s Confessor

10. Napoleon’s (Undercover) Psycho-Analyst

11. Booth’s Prompt

12. Shakespeare's Swain: Mr. W.H.

13. St. Martin's Beggar

14. St. Sebastian's Model

15. Sts. Peter and Andrew's Parents

16. The Hell of the Sisters Bell

17. The Man from Porlock

18. The Mayor of Sodom

19. The Unkown Soldier

20. Vlad the Impaler's Aunt

21. The Failed Poet's Society

1. I Encounter the Ball.

I never felt the need at all

Of witch's wand or gypsy's ball

Until one morning as I strode

Along the Portobello Road

My eye discerned among the junk,

Stuffed inside a cardboard trunk,

Between a porcelain banana,

Bric-a-brac, Victoriana,

Velvet drapes and bits of brass,

An orb of pure translucent glass.

And as I looked it seemed to me

The face of mediocrity

Rose from a limbo deep within

Intoning like a sombre djinn:

Lumiar, you worthy Peer,

Strike a bargain, buy this sphere;

Fate has selected you to be

Our contact with this century.

'Job lot for a tenner, chum!'

Said the barrow boy; and the deal was done.

I removed the glass from the mildewed chest

To take it home, and dumped the rest.

By home, of course, you'll know I mean

The family manor, Bethnal Green.

In a belvedere by the labyrinth

There stands a fluted marble plinth

Which once had graced the servant's hall.

On this I set the Crystal Ball.

There ensued a series of soirées

With citizens of yesterdays -

Interesting folk, and fine,

But none that one could ask to dine.

Those within the Crystal's sphere,

Are secondary folk, I fear.

2. Schopenhauer's Char.

Look! I found this crystal ball

On a seedy market stall;

If I’m still and hold it fast

Faces rise up from the past.

Who is this emerging now?

It's a haus und garten frau.

Tell us, liebling, who you are.

I am Schopenhauer's char.

Not the Prussian, Arthur Schope.,

Long on gloom and short on hope,

Deploring joy, embracing triste,

The psyche's vivisectionist?

Them things ain't no concern of mine.

I done the house by luncheon time

And in the afternoons I sat

At needlework and things like that.

Not the man whose greatest thrill

Was analyzing human will?

Who minimized the picturesque

At the timber of his desk?

He was always up front with me pay,

And changed his stockings twice a day;

He didn't drink or smoke or go

To gaming dens, like some I know.

Did he never calm your fears

With a metaphysics of ideas?

Never shock you over tea

By damning Kant's philosophy?

Not so as I know of dear.

Now I've got to go, I fear.

There's ever so much to be done

In Paradise, beyond the sun.

Well ask him, will you, what he thinks

Of Bertrand Russell, William Finks,

John Stuart Mill