Sun on the Rocks: The Bahamas Lotion

By Somers Isle & Loveshade

Teleoperator Clarity Nice and her friends, librarian Lanai Thomson, lifeguard Taimi Kendrick, ethnographer Flower Parkwood, Australian surfer Jenna Likeway, and the well-to-do Malibu resident and cheerleader Cynthia Stevenson, attend a gala for beauty lotion 'Elony' in Nassau, Bahamas, at a Disco named Neria B, where they are arrested by International Sensual Brigade Officer Alven Donway, for being accomplices of a large scale abduction raid on affluent women, being carried out through 'Elony' by an unscrupulous, good looking, wealthy business woman, named Cassandra Scafarel, a high ranking associate of Cayman Island ́s Lofty Bank owner, Buddha Talk.

To avoid jail for her and her friends, Clarity strikes a deal with Donway to seek the perpetrator of the beauty lotion fraud and agrees to find evidence for Donway of the fraud, by following sex goddess Penelope Avalon, the 'Elony' beauty lotion spokesperson and one of the few people who knows the location of Scafarel ́s pleasure palace resort for women, Neria A, somewhere in the Bahamas.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Somers Isle & Loveshade
• Release date: Feb 5, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301109685

Somers Isle & Loveshade

I started posting Sun on the Rocks episodes on two blogsite communities, open salon and our salon, with the pen name workstudio. Their support led me to find smashwords and add the covers to the amusements. I ́ve clocked 500.000 words of fiction and publish with the pen name Somers Isle & Loveshade on smashwords. Sun on the Rocks Banana fiction amusements are trivial, tropical and easy to peel, all characters are over 21 years of age. Here below are some comments on the first episode, titled the Malibu Case. COMMENTS FROM OPEN SALON AND OUR SALON BLOGSITE COMMUNITIES ON SUN ON THE ROCKS BANANA FICTION (R and R+ stand for rated, or liked) THE MALIBU CASE ch.14: Frisky, light-hearted, and delightful! Consistently! R+ ch.3: This is so clever. Everything is "normal" except the central dilemma of (gasp) optional nudity. With nonchalant humor you are making a individual rights argument out of this.These are unique characters who are "over the horizon" in leading the California trend. R. ch.13: Fun read. That package and who got it will bring me back. R. ch.12: I want to see the video version of this story! What a romp. ch.12: Quite a revealing case. Quick and playful, this story scampers right up to the edge of decency and then sticks its tongue out. ch.12: This plot has the sexiest curves. ch.1: This is deceptively breezy and fun. I. did. not. expect. THIS! Good show! R. ch.15: Hurray! The girls won and we are all the beneficiaries of their determination. I hope that we will have further adventures about the floating spa and that the long arm of the law can't reach them in inter national waters. R. ch.15: Sorry I've been away and missed the last few installments. I'm glad to see the girls came out of this in stellar fashion. It was a fun read, and I'm looking forward to the south of the border installments. R. ch.15: Sweet, sweet, sweet. And I think you may have set-up the next Episode in the series! Hmmm. I just noticed that others feel the same. Good! R+.

Book preview

Sun on the Rocks – The Bahamas Lotion

Smashwords Edition.

© Copyright 2012 by Somers Isle & Loveshade.

Published by Somers Isle & Loveshade at Smashwords.

U.S. Copyright Registration Number: 1-743085441.

All rights reserved.

'Sun on the Rocks' blogsite:

http://oursalon.ning.com/profile/workstudio

Cover by Tatiana Villa.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ABOUT Sun on the Rocks:

Sun on the Rocks is a validating and comforting balm made of a benign word cloud. It is a breezy, easy to peel humor read for adults, specializing in the trivial pursuit. Each pleasant fictional amusement comes with a nonchalant overtone of humor, and follows the adventures of several non competitive good looking women over twenty one years of age, as they leave Malibu and become a group of hostesses, 'Sun on the Rocks', on the cruise ship City of Wellington, a post-Panamax which makes short trips between Los Angeles and Acapulco in Mexico. The motley crew of women works as a group of entertaining amateurs and as friendly gophers on the ship, and is led to various places in the Caribbean and elsewhere by the incombustible twenty five year old Stevenson Garden Products Malibu teleoperator Clarity Nice, a woman of resourceful intuition, and acute observer of the laws of human mischief.

You can read the summary and backstories below to follow the amusement and become familiar with the characters. The summary below is usually enough to follow the amusement, without having to read other ones. The backstories are there to let you know what happened in the previous amusements, or the following ones.

The Bahamas Lotion: Clarity and her friends, librarian Lanai Thomson, lifeguard Taimi Kendrick, ethnographer Flower Parkwood, Australian surfer Jenna Megway, and the well-to-do Malibu resident Cynthia Stevenson, attend a gala for beauty lotion 'Elony' in Nassau, in the Bahamas, at a Disco named Neria B. Late in the evening, they are arrested by International Sensual Brigade Officer Alven Donway, for being accomplices of a large scale abduction raid on affluent women, being carried out through 'Elony' by an unscrupulous, good looking, wealthy business woman, named Cassandra Scafarel, a high ranking associate of de facto, Cayman Island´s Lofty Bank owner, Buddha Talk.

To avoid jail for her and her friends, Clarity strikes a deal with Donway to seek the perpetrator of the beauty lotion fraud and agrees to find evidence for Donway of the fraud, by following sex goddess Penelope Avalon, the 'Elony' beauty lotion spokesperson and one of the few people who knows the location of Scafarel´s pleasure palace resort for women, Neria A, somewhere in the Bahamas.

BACKSTORIES AND CHARACTERS

TO READ THE AMUSEMENT COMFORTABLY

Buddha Talk: Corpulent, shady genius of money flows which begin and end with the same pocket, his own, scholar of sexual ecstasy, occasional Buddhist and worshipper for good Karma of a shrine honoring a lobster which pinched his ear before ending in the lobster cooking pot. Buddha Talk is banking agent and the heir apparent of Lofty Bank, a Cayman Islands banking institution with no particular regard for its clients and a lock on ownership held by a Great Dane, Lord Moorehead III, British by upbringing and inheritance granted by Lord Moorehead II, a man, old, very old, and dead now, at age ninety seven, previous British Lord, ex-owner of Lofty Bank, a man who gave all of its wealth, nobility title and bank ownership rights to his dog.

Lord Moorehead III acts as front 'man' for Buddha Talk, and is also the official recipient of all bank notices by the Cayman Islands monetary authority, a convenient fact for Buddha Talk, and one bark that doesn´t cease to surprise the monetary authority who casts a recurring shadow of doubt upon the legalities of having a dog act as front 'man' and be the official owner of a Bank doing business in the British Overseas Territory of the Cayman Islands, located in the Western Caribbean Sea, a pleasant area to live when the money and work issues are solved. Buddha Talk likes to drive or be driven in Jaguar 73, a gadget-filled car offered as gift to Buddha Talk by Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in exchange for having sold some gold and palladium for the Cuban regime, through Banco Inter Central del Caribe y Cuba, or BICCC.

Clarity and Flower, after gaining entry as investors to the bank with the help of Clark, the owner of a diamond shop in Grand Cayman, find themselves owing nearly one hundred thousand dollars to the Lofty Bank outfit for no reason, a debt they can pay by working for the bank for fifty years, as part of the bank´s flagship product, the Crashworthy Deposit, part bank deposit paying twenty percent, part investment, part insurance policy, and part working arrangement.

Lofty has ties with the underworld, and the monetary authority of the Cayman Islands stubbornly refuses to grant it a renewal of its license, something that doesn´t stop the bank from operating in the most illegal manner, advertising its products to potential investors with an air banner carried by a Gippland 200 crop duster flying low above sunny Caribbean beaches such as those of Cayman, British Virgin Islands, Bahamas and Acapulco. This is entirely documented in The Cayman Air Banner.

Boustrophedon: Large, ancient grey stone inscription filled with Greek letter symbols. In a boustrophedon, direction of the text is inverted, you have to read the inscriptions on the stone from left to right and from right to left alternatively with each line of bi-directional text. Penelope Avalon and Cassandra Scafarel believe that the Boustrophedon holds important information on ancient methods of pleasure, including comments and thoughts on the gate of pleasure, Voluptas de Naturas. The current location of the Boustrophedon that Clarity and her friend Lanai saw at Scafarel’s Hexas Style Resort in the Bahamas, is unknown to Clarity, known to:

Cassandra Scafarel: Significant other of Buddha Talk at some point, shrewd British expatriate, a businesswoman in her forties without a moral code or compass, executive head of beauty lotion outfit ‘Elony’, sold through illegal flight infomercials with the assistance of Lofty Bank. The infomercial is an excuse to sell to customers, mostly affluent women, Elony’s personal growth services, which include how to bring heaven a little closer to home, after doing away with money, in particular fifty thousand dollars that must be paid for a bottle of Elony, in order to receive a resort-pass to reach the Leisure and Pleasure Resort of Scafarel, the Hexas Style Resort in the Bahamas island of Eleuthera.

Hexas Style was partly dismantled in The Bahamas Lotion, by Al Donway and the Sensual Brigade of Central Intelligence, or Sensual Intelligence, a group of attractive women ensuring Law and Order are respected, along with their bodies. The Brigade’s most representative member is agent Money Fact, the woman who introduced Clarity to the nine hour oil-optional massage, proof that work is not a necessary part of life. Money Fact excels at action, mentoring and faulty logic. After a decidedly last minute and decisive intervention of Sensual Intelligence at Hexas Style, Scafarel manages to flee from the Bahamas resort on her private yacht, with the Boustrophedon, but without some secrets regarding pleasure, including the:

Imperial Pelican Fabergé Egg: Intricate egg, or jewel, depending on how hungry you are, eight inches high, made of varicolored gold, opalescent blue enamel and watercolor on ivory. It is known as the Xenia Imperial Pelican Fabergé egg, and belongs to the Private Collection of Maria Feodorovna, Empress Consort of Russia in 1898. The egg, commissioned by Maria Feodorovna to provide, handle and store, all of her private items of pleasure, went through the hands of Occidental Petroleum tycoon Armand Hammer, an art collector with close ties