Why Being a Reptile Lover Means Always Having to Say I'm Sorry

By Anita Salzberg

Reptile and amphibian lovers (also known as herpers) share their reptile- and amphibian-related relationship problems with friends, family members and significant others. They talk about their biggest compromises, worst crises,
funniest incidents and most touching moments. Plus
heartfelt advice for how to live with a herp lover.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anita Salzberg
• Release date: Jan 21, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301037988

Anita Salzberg

As a child growing up in Brooklyn, I never imagined falling in love with a turtle lover from the Bronx who would fill our Manhattan apartment with hard-shelled creatures. This goes to show that life and love can be inexplicably weird, and, if you're lucky, also rather wonderful.Nor could I anticipate that my husband, Allen, and I would work together (without filing for divorce) on articles for Ranger Rick, and on three books for the children's library market, including one on turtles. I've also written for magazines and worked as a direct response copywriter.Today, Allen and I live in Queens, N.Y., with two cats and a paltry three turtles.

Book preview

Why Being a Reptile Lover

Means Always Having to Say

I'm Sorry

Herpers and Their Significant Others

Tell It Like It Is

Compiled and Edited by

Anita & Allen Salzberg

Smashwords Edition

© 2013

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Other books by

Anita and Allen Salzberg:

You Know You're a Herper*

When You Dream in Green

*Reptile & Amphibian Lover

Compiled and Edited by

Anita & Allen Salzberg

Turtles

by Anita Baskin-Salzberg

and Allen Salzberg

Confessions of a Turtle Wife

by Anita Salzberg

Smashwords Edition

Website: http://www.turtlewife.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

How did you learn about your significant other's / family member’s herp hobby?

CHAPTER TWO

Does your significant other/family indulge / hate / share / threaten divorce over your herp hobby?

CHAPTER THREE

What is/are the biggest herp-related problem(s) in your relationship?

CHAPTER FOUR

What herp-related compromises have you made?

CHAPTER FIVE

Describe your biggest herp-spouse/herp-family-related crisis.

CHAPTER SIX

Describe your funniest herp-lover related moment.

CHAPTER SEVEN

What's your advice for living harmoniously with a herp lover?

PREFACE

If you remember the romantic tearjerker Love Story (1970) starring Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw, you'll recall the most quoted line of the film — Love means never having to say you're sorry.

We turned that line around and asked reptile lovers, "Does loving herps mean always having to say you're sorry?"

Reptile lovers shared their most pressing reptile- and amphibian-related relationship problems, compromises, crises, funny incidents, touching moments, and heartfelt advice for living harmoniously with a herp lover.

Herpers are, of course, sorry for many things, including, but not limited to: the stink, the poop, the electric bill, the chotchkas and the tanks filled with reptiles and/or amphibians that have taken over the living room, the bedroom, the kitchen, the hallway, the bathroom … have we left out a room?

They’re sorry they spend more time with the herps than with the family. They’re especially sorry when the snake's tooth gets stuck in their significant other's thumb.

On the other hand, as one of our respondents pointed out, most herpers are probably not always saying, I'm sorry, because if they are — they're soon divorced.

You'll read about snakes lost in sofas, monitor lizards scaring boyfriends silly, beardies that die and are mourned by the entire family, and the fear of herp custody battles in the wake of a break-up.

The most often-given advice for living amicably with a herp lover: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. We hasten to add that the secret to turning a non-herper into a herper seems to be … hatchlings.

We hope you have as much fun reading this e-book as we did putting it together.

Anita and Allen Salzberg

Queens, New York

CHAPTER ONE

How did you learn about your significant other's / family member’s herp hobby?

The herps just kind of moved in—you can't miss 'em.

–Jackie R.

How can you not learn about it—herps are all over the house.

–Anonymous

When she told me the ball python got to sleep in bed too.

–The fiancée of Danielle A. Miller, Mo.

When I went to his house and saw his collection of turtles and tortoises :) – I fell in love immediately.

–Jessie Libby, N.M.

She doesn't have