Sex Unlimited

By Dr. Charley Ferrer

Whether you have just started dating or are searching for ways to breathe passion and fire into your relationship, Sex Unlimited is for you!

Join world-renowned Sex Expert and Love Guru Dr. Charley Ferrer as she shares the ultimate secrets to dating and erotic pleasure.

Doctor Charley provides candid examples and valuable information on how to become a world-class sensual lover, showing you how to break through the barriers that hold you back from exploring your full erotic potential. Discover the rich possibilities and various lovemaking styles in Sex Unlimited that will turn your fantasies into reality. This is not your grandmother’s dating manual. No topic or secret is taboo!

Experience the incredible journey to sensual self-actualization and embrace the sensual lover within. Doctor Charley’s Sex Unlimited reveals the ultimate secrets to dating and erotic pleasures!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dr. Charley Ferrer
• Release date: Jan 2, 2013
• ISBN: 9780977006311

Dr. Charley Ferrer

Dr. Charley Ferrer is a world-renowned Clinical Sexologist, Radio/TV Producer, and award winning author. She is highly sought after for her expertise on relationships, sexuality, and sensual self-acceptance throughout the US and Latin America. Her television show PLEASURE has been nominated for Best TV Talk Show 2007 and Best Northeast Regional show in 2008; various television companies have tried to emulate Doctor Charley's charismatic informative approach to sexuality. She has a private practice in New York City. She also provides coaching and consultations on Sex Therapy and self-empowerment as well as BDSM Mentoring in person/online/phone. Doctor Charley is the Sex Expert for various radio and televisions programs in both English and Spanish including Fox News Latino, Univision, Kiss FM the Michael Baisden Show, and many others. Visit her website for more information.

Book preview

Sex Unlimited

The Ultimate Secrets to Dating and Erotic Pleasures

By

Dr. Charley Ferrer

Published by

The Institute of Pleasure at Smashwords

Published by

The Institute of Pleasure

PO Box 60985

Staten Island NY 10306

718-916-4124

Copyright 2013 Dr. Charley Ferrer

All rights reserved

Manufactured in the United States

Cover Design: Judy Bullard

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number Pending

Paperback ISBN: 09770063-6-0

International: 978-0-9770063-6-6

Ebook ISBN: 0-9770063-1-X

International Ebook ISBN: 978-0-9770063-1-1

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher and author.

Sex Unlimited is similar to my book, The Latina Kama Sutra, originally published in 2005 however has been tailored to a wider audience. Sex Unlimited contains new passages and updated information. Several chapters available only in The Latina Kama Sutra, as well as cultural references and information, have been deleted.

www.sexunlimited.us www.doctorcharley.com

If sex were recognized as the sacred, holy and spiritual function that it is,

disease and sinfulness would disappear

as the mist before the sun.

Alexander J. McIvor-Tyndall

1916

Although this book is written from a heterosexual women’s perspective, it is applicable to men and any sexual orientation.

Table of Contents

Note from the author

DATING

1. Here’s looking at you, babe!

2. Dating--what you really need to know

3. Relationships & The 90-Day Rule

4. Kiss! Kiss!

5. Talk Dirty to Me

6. Seduction Training

EROTIC PLEASURES

7. Golden Hands

8. Oral Sex

9. Breast Play

10. Anal Sex and Play

11. Sexual Positions

12. Sex Toys

13. Delicious Sexual Appetizers

14. Roleplaying & Sensual Imagination

15. Forbidden Passion (Dominance & Submission)

Note from the author

Forget everything you’ve learned!

Forget all the old rules!

Forgot all the possible consequences that have been drilled into your head since you were a child about doing bad things and embrace the truth—you’re an adult now. A man or woman with the ability to take on the world and make your own choices. You’ve been doing it for years; whether consciously aware of it or not. It’s time to take control of the most important aspect of your life—your sexuality. It’s time you started listening to the best counsel of all, your own.

Ever notice how things don’t always go right when you listen to your friends or the good girl’s rules of dating? Remember when you thought of how you should approach a situation, so sure of yourself, only to be swayed by a friend’s well meaning advice, or your lover’s comments. Well, babe, this is your turn to start over. To take control. To learn a few more things to add to your sensual repertoire and build more confidence in yourself.

I know you’re wondering if I will be yet another Sex Expert trying to tell you what to do, how to act, or attempt to influence what you think is right or wrong. Perhaps present you with another list of don’ts or criticize your lifestyle choices. Maybe preach hell and damnation—even I shiver at that possibility. The answer to all those questions is a resounding NO!

No, I would never do that. It’s not my style. What I will do is share with you some of my experiences and expertise.

You might as well know up front that I have had my share of relationship and sexual problems, my own hurdles to overcome in order to establish the relationships and love affairs I’ve wanted. My own fears and mistakes. My own prejudices. And thank heaven, my own successes. Perhaps with that in mind you’ll allow me to share with you some of the knowledge I’ve gained over the years as a Clinical Sexologist, Therapist, and just another passionate individual like yourself.

I’ve learned that men, and especially women, incorporate and assimilate sexual information by first filtering it through the dictates of their culture, adding the guilt and shame of their religious beliefs, then sifting it through traditions and superstitions, only to bang up against the restrictions of society, in order to come up with a plausible variation of what’s sexually acceptable. As a clinician, I’ve seen the destruction some of these well meant beliefs and dictates have caused to a person’s self-esteem and sensual self-acceptance.

It’s my hope that Sex Unlimited: the ultimate secrets to dating and erotic pleasures will provide you with valuable information about dating. Yet more importantly, help you completely accept your sensual self. Unlike your grandmother’s dating manuals, Sex Unlimited shares with you many secrets about your body, discusses how to have fun with sex toys, provides valuable information on how to add spice and kinky adventures in your sexual repertoire, and provides many erotic examples which you can explore as you embrace and reclaim your sensual and sexual divinity.

Sex Unlimited shows you how to take control of your sexuality in a fun, sexy and totally open manner that’s rarely shared by others. Therefore, get ready for a shock because this Latina Dr. Ruth is going to throw open the bedroom door, turn on the lights, and show you just how much fun sex can be.

Sex Unlimited isn’t just about sex—it’s about relationships, emotions, and self-esteem! It’s about how you feel naked in front of your mirror. It’s about flirting and catching a lover’s eye. It’s about seduction and surrender. And best of all, it’s about having fun and giving freedom to your sexy imagination.

Life and love are a gamble worth taking—one that can bring you great happiness and fulfillment when you stay true to yourself. A gamble that will feed and enhance the sensual and sexual fire burning inside you that’s just waiting to be set free or taken to its next level of erotic sensual awareness.

I should warn you that I believe there is no wrong way to be sexual, though there are legal ones. Smiles! With that in mind, I’ve tried to fill Sex Unlimited with as much information as I could about the various avenues in which you can enhance your sensual life. I’ve also provided several references to other books I feel will provide you with valuable information and would be a great addition to your sensual library collection—a personal library of books, videos and other sensual material you create for yourself. This sensual library will serve to enhance your sexuality and provide you with unrestricted knowledge to help you become an amazing lover.

I should also warn you that I write from a heterosexual woman’s perspective. However, the information in this book is appropriate for any gender or sexual orientation. And though it seems like I’m addressing only women, please know Sex Unlimited was written for everyone. Thus, feel free to change the pronouns to suit yourself.

As with every other significant aspect of your life, you must seek out knowledge in order to embrace your full potential. Your sexuality it’s no less valuable. In fact, your sexuality is the one area that affects your entire life, and the one area of your life that is often neglected. Isn’t it about time to change that?

If not now, when?

Live with passion,

Doctor Charley…

Dating

~1~

Here’s looking at you, babe!

Women

Women are not Barbie dolls! The average woman could never achieve that false sense of perfection. In fact, few of us resemble Jennifer Lopez, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, or Viveca Fox. Women come in all shapes and sizes. From curvy with big hips and big butts, all the way to flat chested with no hips; even our skin color varies. We are blessed with variety. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and take pride in our own unique bodies.

In order to begin this journey of self discovery into your sensual and sexual nature, to be able to be the seductress you’ve always dreamt of becoming, you must first have some basic body awareness. So please bear with me through some of the technical stuff—I promise the rest will be fun, sassy, and at times erotic.

Now, get naked.

Yes, it’s time to look at your body in the nude. Look at yourself in the mirror—view your entire body. Turn right. Turn left. Bend forward. Bend backward. Get down on your hands and knees and see the difference. How do you look? This exercise isn’t for you to judge yourself. It’s for you to get to know your body. If you see something you don’t like then work to improve it or accept it as is. You’re beautiful period! Throw yourself a kiss in the mirror—this is you in all your glory.

Your breasts

Circle your breasts with your hands. Don’t be embarrassed, they’re yours! Lift them. Squeeze them together. Mold them. See how lovely they truly are. Press your fingers into your tender flesh and discover the sensation. Bend at your waist and see how they sway. Dress them up in lacey bras or jewelry. Get acquainted with them. You can do anything you wish with them—yes, even share them with a lover.

Breasts and nipples vary in size and get larger as you get older. I remember being flat chested until I was twenty years old, then miraculously my breasts seemed to have grown overnight.

Squeeze your nipples and check for any discharge. There shouldn’t be any. However, some women in their twenties (childbearing years) may have a milky discharge. For women who are breast feeding it goes without saying that you’ll have a milky discharge; however, it shouldn’t have an odor. Be sure to consult your physician to determine if there’s a problem. While you’re squeezing and discovering your breasts, note any changes or lumps. Breasts cancer is among the top killer of women. Don’t be among the statistics.

Breast enlargement is a personal choice. Talk to other women who’ve had breast augmentation and listen to the pro’s and con’s. Ask if you can touch their breasts to see how natural they feel. Okay, so it’s a bit embarrassing, but we’re all flesh and bones. This is something you’re going to live with for a long time and pay lots of money for, so you better make sure you like the way they feel.

If you play with sensations and erotic pain—also called power exchange or BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism)—and enjoy having your nipples pinched, clamped, or sensually tormented, you may wish to reconsider your choice as some implants may not be able to take this type of play. Don’t be afraid to discuss your sensual play fully with your plastic surgeon as he will need to take this information into consideration before giving you his best advice on what will work for you. Following breast augmentation, you may not be able to engage in these activities for several months, perhaps even a year or so, because of the sensitivity to your nipples. This is something else you may wish to consider especially if breasts and nipple play are important to you.

Sadly, as we get older our breast begin to sag especially if we are not physically fit; however, don’t let age stop you. I once saw the most beautiful pair of breasts on a woman at the sauna. When I asked if they were real, she chuckled and told me she had wanted beautiful breasts all her life and at fifty-five years of age she finally bought them for herself.

For women, breasts seem to be more significant than any other part of our bodies. Our breasts make us aware of our femininity. If you’ve experienced the loss of one or both of your breasts due to cancer, other ailments or accident, determining what makes you a woman will aid in your recovery and your acceptance of self. Many believe having breasts and ovaries make you a woman; however, being a woman comes from deep within your soul. It’s the internal pride you derive from being female. Breasts can make a woman feel sexy, they nurture her children, but breasts are not the sum total of what makes a woman neither is a uterus. These are just symbols. The real essence of a woman comes from the beauty and pride she takes in being herself—flaws and all.

Your Vulva

Let’s get a little more intimate and discover your vulva—yep, your pussy! So grab a small mirror and let’s get started. There are a few mirrors on the market specifically designed for this purpose, however, a regular hand held mirror will do. You can hold it between your thighs to allow your hands to be free to explore. Ensure you have enough light and move the mirror around to get a good look at all the parts of your intimate glory. Start your discovery alone or share it with your partner. Draw a picture of your vulva and hang it on the wall or paste it in your journal claiming your right to your sensual and sexual divinity.

Everyone knows women have a vagina; however we have more than that. What we really have is a vulva which includes a vagina, a clitoris, a clitoral hood, the labia majora (outer vaginal lips), the labia minora (inner vaginal lips), a urethra (where urine is expelled), and to top it off, the mons pubis.

Push the mirror back a little further and you’ll notice the path of flesh that stretches from the bottom of your vaginal entrance to your anus. This is the perineum. Touch it. Discover for yourself how extremely sensitive to touch it is. During oral and anal sex, stimulation to this area can dramatically enhance orgasms. Each woman is different, thus, discover what works for you. At different times of the month the intensity of this thin layer of skin will change depending on hormone levels, your menstrual cycle, even your moods. These factors will alter the sensitivity of this area and other areas in your entire body as well; therefore, remember to explore at different times.

Notice the texture of your vulva. It should be smooth, clear of any bumps, discolorations, blisters, or any rashes. The inside of your labia should be light pink. For women that have darker skin, you’ll notice a slightly darker shade of red. If you notice bumps, rashes or discoloration, a reddish-purple color to your vulva, or tender areas contact your physician immediately as you may be suffering from an allergic reaction. At times, it’s as simple as changing your laundry detergent, your bath soap, the brand of feminine napkins you use, even your toilet paper. If the problem persists, request a consultation with a specialist.

Your self discovery isn’t over yet. Pull your labia (your vaginal lips) apart and peek within. If you’re a virgin, you may see a thin layer of skin across the lower opening of your vagina. This is called the hymen. Don’t worry if it’s not there, it typically tears away due to strenuous activities or accidents where you’ve injured your vulva; like falling on the handle bars of a bicycle. Sometimes the hymen doesn’t tear during initial intercourse and may cause problems such as pain and inability to attain penetration. If in doubt, consult your physician.

Slowly slide a finger inside your vagina. Move your finger around. Feel its texture. It’s okay, really—it belongs to you! The muscles you feel squeezing your finger have the texture of corrugated cardboard. These muscles help pull the penis deeper into your body. Tighten your vaginal muscles to feel how strong they are. This is what your lover will feel when his penis is inside you. If the muscle isn’t strong, don’t worry, you’ll soon fix that when you start doing your Kegels. Push your finger deeper inside your vagina. Your vagina extends three to four inches inward and is about ¾ inch wide. If you feel any pain during intercourse that isn’t due to poor lubrication and continues for over a month, consult your physician. Also read my first book, The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman, which provides wonderful information on how to overcome sexual dysfunction. It has valuable insight into what causes sexual problems, and teaches you how to overcome them to increase your orgasmic potential. It is available in Spanish under the title Para la Mujer Sensual. A must for your sensual library!

Withdraw your finger from your body. You may notice a little moisture. Your body produces a milky, cloudy white, or clear discharge. This is normal. Sometimes it will be thicker when you ovulate. A grayish white, yellowish green or clumpy discharge is a sign of trouble. Always consult your physician or gynecologist if you have any concerns. If your physician doesn’t listen, find one that will.

Lift your finger to your nose and smell yourself. Every woman has a unique feminine scent. This scent is caused by pheromones in your body which helps to attract your mate and future lover(s). The use of feminine deodorant sprays is something I’m opposed to on principle. Women are supposed to smell like women not like some disinfectant powdery spray! It’s ironic when you think that the very scent you’re being told to mask (your musky feminine smell) is a multi-million dollar product being sold by perfume companies—female pheromones. Maybe the reason women attract the wrong man is because of all these false smells.

Washing on the outside of your vulva is all you really need to do. If you have a strong feminine odor (especially during your period), wash more often. Douching may actually cause problems including urinary tract infections and yeast infections as it interferes with the vagina’s natural Ph balance. The vagina is one of the cleanest areas of your body, as it cleans itself repeatedly every minute. Douching can also make you more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases/infections. Douching within 72 hours after sexual intercourse is not recommended as it may lead to pregnancy if sperm was ejaculated into your vagina or the condom broke.

Feminine napkins, tampons, even toilet paper and washing detergents can cause irritation to your vulva including tenderness, sores, pimples, or rashes—not to mention the whole problem with dioxin. A wonderful book on the intricacies of a woman’s body every woman should own and add to her sensual library is The V Zone: A Woman’s Guide to Intimate Health Care by Colette Bouchez.

When in doubt, check it out, is my motto. Never risk your health because of vanity or fear. You’re too precious for that. A simple trip to your gynecologist, though at times embarrassing, can save you tons of discomfort and worry. If there is a problem, it’s always better to treat it immediately than let it fester and turn into a catastrophe.

Every woman should discover her intimate beauty. Your genitalia is as beautiful and as unique as you are! Never allow anyone to tell you differently or make you think it is evil or ugly. People who try to feed you those lies have problems accepting their own sexuality. Don’t overlook the fact that various cultures have dozens of taboos and myths regarding the body or that religious organizations have blamed women for every sin and illness known to men, including giving men the gift of knowledge. Hey, the way I look at it is, if Eve hadn’t given Adam a bite of the apple, he’d still be a fool swinging from a tree. And if God really hated and despised a woman’s body as we’re sometimes lead to believe, He would never have entrusted us with the honor of bring life into this world. Misery loves company. Don’t allow yourself to get dragged into it!

The G-Spot Reality

Push your finger back inside your vagina. Let’s explore just a little more. This time, let’s address sensations. The Grafenberg spot, G-Spot for short, is an area of spongy tissue surrounding the urethra. Everyone has one. However the sensation in this area varies among women and not every woman enjoys its